Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Should I Come Clean?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member badcompany's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Southeastern USA
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    182
    Thanked 208 Times in 90 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Crossfingers Should I Come Clean?

    Just a preface to my story: I am not working outside the home now so only my husband's income is coming in every 2 weeks. Well, after I tried camming over the summer for a couple of months and found I was successful and actually good at it, I knew that I would continue it along with any vanilla job I had. I did this in total secret. I just returned to camming about a month ago and we desperately need my camming income to pay our bills and have luxuries. My husband still does not know about it. I have been camming during the time my son is in preschool which is only 3-4 hrs due to my having to set up my cam space and get glammed up etc.

    I know this is long, but I'm thinking of telling him because I need to make significantly more money, therefore I need more time to cam. My checking account is pitiful and I make way more money camming than I could ever make at my normal type of job. He is very open-minded and I know he'll love the income. I'm just afraid he'll fly off the handle and want to kick me out or something crazy.

    Should I go ahead and tell him??? I hate lying and hiding things too. Every day I think of sitting him down and spilling it all. What do ya'll think?

  2. #2
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    deleted.
    Last edited by mediocrity; 06-17-2012 at 05:14 AM.

  3. #3
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    USA, northeast
    Posts
    7,317
    Thanks
    30,600
    Thanked 17,692 Times in 5,185 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    I'd be very matter of fact that you've been hired and are so happy to tell him your money troubles are over. The more confident and matter of fact you are the more comfortable he will likely feel with it too. If you act as if you are doing something wrong (and you AREN'T) he might feel like you have something more to hide.

    It's a job.


  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to laurielegs For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    Veteran Member badcompany's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Southeastern USA
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    182
    Thanked 208 Times in 90 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    @mediocrity and laurielegs: You are both right. I definitely wouldn't want him to find out any other way and discussing it in a "matter of fact" manner is probably the best way. I mean....I'm not cheating on him for God's sake, I'm just doing a job. I just have to make him understand that it's "just a job". He is very jealous at times and I really despise confrontation....but I have to do something. He came home from work tonight, had a couple of shots and just went off about how we were going in the hole financially. He just doesn't know that there really aren't any money problems if I could cam the hrs I need to.

    I am so nervous about this. We have a 2yr old son and I'm scared he's going to play "bad mother" games with me. I am a great mother and I choose to work smarter, not harder. Still trying to decide how to handle this.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to badcompany For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Veteran Member missykrissy's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    425
    Thanks
    1,850
    Thanked 552 Times in 219 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    BC,
    What makes you sure he'll fly off the handle or call you a bad mom?
    Has he expressed strong opinions about adult entertainers/sex workers in general?
    Have you done similar type of work in the past?

  8. #6
    Featured Member vivianbear's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Southern CA
    Posts
    1,507
    Thanks
    555
    Thanked 2,238 Times in 572 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Just a question but really, what kind of marriage do you have where you're afraid he'll "play bad mother games" and your first impressions of him, coming home from work are that of him throwing back shots and complaining about money? I mean, in your OP, you simultaneously say he's open-minded but you're afraid he'll "fly off the handle" and then that he's very jealous. Everything about him (and the household) sounds pretty hostile, actually. Just the fact that you can't be excited about discovering camming and a way to bring in additional income is kind of telling to how he may respond. Only you know for sure, though.

    I would proceed with caution. Ask yourself, what are you really afraid the consequences of telling him will be? What does "fly off the handle" usually consist of? Does he typically drink when he's angry or frustrated? Does he ever drink too much or escalate? Does his jealous behavior lead to suspicion or paranoid behavior? These are all details from only two posts that bring up pretty severe red flags, for me.

    Good luck.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

    "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."






  9. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to vivianbear For This Useful Post:


  10. #7
    Veteran Member badcompany's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Southeastern USA
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    182
    Thanked 208 Times in 90 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Yes, I am really excited about camming and all the potential financial rewards it can bring. My husband has a drinking problem and it does become a hostile environment for me (verbal abuse) at times. I have done escorting in the past.....like over 20 yrs ago and he knows about that and never acted like he cared, we weren't together then though. He's jealous about me possibly "finding someone else" I just want to do my job and that's it. I'm going to tell him soon.

    I'm going to make sure he hasn't had any alcohol first though, lol. He knows I'm not happy so I guess that is part of the reason I'm scared to tell him.

  11. #8
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    USA, northeast
    Posts
    7,317
    Thanks
    30,600
    Thanked 17,692 Times in 5,185 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Quote Originally Posted by badcompany View Post
    Yes, I am really excited about camming and all the potential financial rewards it can bring. My husband has a drinking problem and it does become a hostile environment for me (verbal abuse) at times. I have done escorting in the past.....like over 20 yrs ago and he knows about that and never acted like he cared, we weren't together then though. He's jealous about me possibly "finding someone else" I just want to do my job and that's it. I'm going to tell him soon.

    I'm going to make sure he hasn't had any alcohol first though, lol. He knows I'm not happy so I guess that is part of the reason I'm scared to tell him.
    Interesting. It's hilarious really because you'd be much more likely to find someone else working as a waitress or maybe at the local grocer.

    My guess is that he is insecure about you having enough income to be independent and leave his drunk ass. I can't stand guys with alcohol problems.


  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to laurielegs For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    You should never lie to a SO about anything. Especially about this. You should def come clean- and not because you're having money issues, come clean because this is your HUSBAND, you're suppose to trust each other. How would you feel if you found out he was leading a secret life? Also, come clean because there is a possibility he will find out from another source- even if you blocked your location while camming, a picture, a video a name- something will surface that will lead to what you're doing.

    Besides, he may end up liking it. At first he will get pissed off- especially since you've been keeping this from him- at first it will be a shock. My boyfriend hated that I cam...then he got use to it and now it turns him on.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  15. #10
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    whoa just read the drinking problem, jealousy and verbal abuse part.....maybe you should keep camming until you are independent then give him the ultimatum of change his behavior or get out. you seem to love this job so do what you love, life is short our time is limited and you dont need to be taking that crap.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  17. #11
    Veteran Member badcompany's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Southeastern USA
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    182
    Thanked 208 Times in 90 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Yeah, u guys have seemed to hit on almost every thought I have had throughout this situation I'm in. At one point, I think that it may REALLY turn him on after the initial shock of it all. But based on his behavior tonite I am pretty much convinced that I should just save up enough $$$ to move on because he gives me absolutely no respect and his verbal abuse trumps anything else I could endure because sometimes I think verbal abuse is worse than the physical sometimes. I feel like life is really too short to succumb to a man's demands and not live your life.

    I am done. I believe my mind is made up. I won't tell him. It's really none of his damn business. I have a new life that I should've started a year ago. You all have really helped with your different insights on it all. Thank You. I think my happiness and my son's should come first.

  18. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to badcompany For This Useful Post:


  19. #12
    Veteran Member missykrissy's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    425
    Thanks
    1,850
    Thanked 552 Times in 219 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Honey I think you are in a very bad marriage, I really don't know what to say except best wishes and take care of yourself.
    I really can't begin to address all the problems in a little online posting, but nothing in this marriage will be cured by anything like "communication" or "honesty"
    You are married to an abusive alcoholic. I wonder if this is the first time you've really thought about these issues, only in regards to you secretly camming, like that's the bad thing that's going on here?
    Also I read signs of being emotionally abused all through your post. the way you minimize and trivialize his behavior (I'll tell him but make sure he has nothing to drink first LOL<<<---that isn't funny. You're alluding to the fact that you're scared of him.)
    Save up money and stash it away and have a plan for your physical safety if the need arises.

  20. #13
    Featured Member vivianbear's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Southern CA
    Posts
    1,507
    Thanks
    555
    Thanked 2,238 Times in 572 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Good for you and please be careful! Do you have your own bank account set up? Start funneling money into that, ASAP! If you honestly think this is an unsafe household, I say get out NOW and just cam from wherever you can land, safely. You don't need to stay in that environment any longer, if you don't have to. I'm glad this was something of an eye-opener for you. I'm sure you'll do what needs to be done.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

    "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."






  21. #14
    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Location
    On your regular's lap.
    Posts
    779
    Thanks
    1,156
    Thanked 758 Times in 304 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Just want to encourage you to do what you feel is necessary for yourself and your son. I have spent years in bad situations and I still kick myself for the years I wasted with someone who didn't appreciate me and didn't deserve me.
    Smoking fetish guys need you to use real cigarettes ...
    Quote Originally Posted by AureliaC View Post
    Because they want it to slowly kill you, it's 90% of the appeal lol

  22. #15
    God/dess kortneykay's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2012
    Location
    In Private Chat Making $
    Posts
    6,059
    Thanks
    13,677
    Thanked 21,933 Times in 4,881 Posts
    My Mood
    Amazed

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Tell him. This is coming from someone who dealt with the same situation. My DH doesn't like what I do (phone sex) but he puts up with it now lol.

  23. #16
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    wrong side of the tracks
    Posts
    1,332
    Thanks
    307
    Thanked 1,626 Times in 537 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Seriously, you must tell, and be honest for your own sanity. Or you will just be lying to cover up your lies. You say you cannot afford luxuries, so what are you going to tell him when luxuries and more money suddenly appears?? Thin air is not a good excuse, lol. If he is not cool with it you will have to go from there, but at least this way you can find out how he feels. If you are living in his house, he has every right to know you are conducting a business from his home. I could be mistaken but I believe it is illegal to run a business out of someones house without their permission. If he finds out the hard way, he could definately start legal drama.

  24. #17
    Veteran Member Obenta's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    429
    Thanks
    889
    Thanked 565 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Quote Originally Posted by cyberstripper View Post
    Seriously, you must tell, and be honest for your own sanity. Or you will just be lying to cover up your lies. You say you cannot afford luxuries, so what are you going to tell him when luxuries and more money suddenly appears?? Thin air is not a good excuse, lol. If he is not cool with it you will have to go from there, but at least this way you can find out how he feels. If you are living in his house, he has every right to know you are conducting a business from his home. I could be mistaken but I believe it is illegal to run a business out of someones house without their permission. If he finds out the hard way, he could definately start legal drama.
    "If you are living in his house..."

    WTF? Did you really just say that?

    He is her husband. She is his wife. It is THEIR home, NOT "his home".

  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Obenta For This Useful Post:


  26. #18
    Featured Member sexy_celeste's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Melbourne Vic, Perth WA
    Posts
    1,190
    Thanks
    306
    Thanked 108 Times in 71 Posts

    Default Re: Should I Come Clean?

    Quote Originally Posted by Obenta View Post
    "If you are living in his house..."

    WTF? Did you really just say that?

    He is her husband. She is his wife. It is THEIR home, NOT "his home".
    thank god Im not the only one who saw that bit! Hello 1940s!
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
    you just keep on trying till you run out of cake

  27. The Following User Says Thank You to sexy_celeste For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Go Clean Your House!
    By BrunetteGoddess in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 02-18-2022, 04:18 PM
  2. Clean it up in here.
    By Djoser in forum Other Work
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-20-2010, 02:20 PM
  3. How do you Keep yourself clean?
    By Sexy_Nicole in forum Body Business
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 02-22-2009, 05:14 PM
  4. I can't get my hair clean!
    By mia_bella in forum Body Business
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-16-2007, 06:31 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •