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Thread: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

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    Senior Member 4urpleasure's Avatar
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    Default Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    So I bought the realistic squirting dildo ( the top model and ti is 69.99 plus tax). Expensive little fucker.

    So I went to use it for my show last night and I could not get it to work. So I followed the recipe and bought the sweetened condensed milk, because I could only find evaporated milk, and no non sweetened condensed milk ( are they the same?) and skipped the sugar because the sugar is supposed to thicken it. Anyways, here is what happened.

    Getting the shit into the plunger is damn near impossible. I put it in the cup of 'cum' and squish it in, then I have to pull it open to suck the cum into the plunger. It barley takes any in, and can take awhile. Then connecting it to the fucking hose is annoying and can take awhile. I finally got it connected, and went to squeeze the plunger and hardly any comes out, and I squeeze it like a mother fucker and it won't go all the way down. It then goes up the tube, but just dribbled out of the god damn hole at the base of the cock, and does not go up the penis whatsoever.

    So obviously, the toy way useless. It was also messy and put me in an agitated mood before the show. Luckily it was a pretty decent day, and I made 136$ in about 3 hours , but what pissed me off was someone came in requesting a squirting dildo for the first time and I had to explain that I was unable to get it work. Which looks terrible. Oh, I should also add that I added a small bit of water into the plunger, after I sucked some of the cum into it, and it allowed it to go through the tube, but still not into the cock. I am puzzled because the instructions tell you not to add water, and to add sugar to mix it.

    Grrrr. I am tired, trying to wind down after my shift, but this keeps bothering me. It's expensive, and I know it can work really well in my shows and I have been looking to buy this toy since I started working.

    Oh yeah, and nothing on google or the box has been helpful. I looked briefly before working.

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    Member college04cutie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    I am an on cam "squirter" and use different methods to make it happen including something similar to the toy that you are using....anywoo....word to the wise, please dont put anything that involves sugar in your pink parts....It can lead to vaginal "unrest".Best of luck hun

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    Senior Member 4urpleasure's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Hm, although that doesn't quiet answer my question, it is very good advice. Thank you.

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Evaporated milk is simply milk with most of the moisture removed (around 60%) usually, and can be sweetened or unsweetened.

    Condensed milk is milk with the moisture removed, but with lots of sugar and syrups added, so it is a LOT sweeter, and a LOT thicker and sweeter.

    Therein lies your problem, I think. It's not a good idea to change up evaporated/condensed milk in recipes because it changes the textures and properties of the mix (just try doing fudge with the wrong one - you get fudge sauce!! lol). Because you went condensed, I'm guessing that it was far too thick and sticky, and too viscous to be properly pulled through the pump mechanism.

    I would wash out the toy really well with hot water (should melt all the residual crap off the inside of the toy) and try different "cum" recipes.

    I don't currently own a squirting dildo, but I've been doing a lot of research into it, and I make fake "cum" for various photosets and shows...I wouldn't use any of the sugary stuff (mostly because I am allergic to refined sugars, and use them for facial/blowjob shots), but instead use cornstarch/water mixes for internal stuff, or watered down white lotion for the body shots. Using evaporated milk would also get pretty expensive, I would imagine. Its what? $4-5 a can? So you have to make $5 a show just to break even? I want my "cum" to cost 5cents a shot so I get all the money!!

    Don't worry too much about making it super realistic- they aren't going to care that much, after all, its coming out of a toy. They know its not real cum! Just try out a few options to find something that is white, and the right consistency for the toy.
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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    ^ Yep, that sounds about right. Evaporated milk and "sweetened, condensed" milk are not the same thing. Just taste them both and you'll know. One tastes like baby formula, the other like sugary syrupy milk. Sweetened, condensed milk is about 10x thicker than evaporated milk.

    Yes, sugar in vagina a bad thing Yeast infections galore.

    Also, I've never paid more than $1.50 for evaporated milk and can usually find it at the dollar store when I need it. Maybe you're thinking of powdered milk? That's expensive. But I agree, if you can use something like corn starch, I'd do that instead. I don't know if it's just me, but the thought of using milk in my vagina scares me too.

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Ha! I had the same problem and was soooo aggravated. I just recently bought and started using this exact same dildo I believe. I really had to experiment with the fake cum to actually get it squirt out. This is just me but I use the sweetened condensed milk (it's so thick) then add water to it. Adding the egg white is good too but I find that it makes it harder to suck the solution up into the plunger and plus makes it thicker. Today, I left the eggwhite out and it worked perfectly. No sugar is needed.

    It takes practice, but I think it's worth it. Good Luck!

    Also, the first time I used it in a show The plunger came loose from the tube and none came out of the dildo, but it all came out of the plunger everywhere!

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Also, it can be a bitch to hook the 2 parts together. Just work at it.

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cam_Model_Jess View Post
    ^ Yep, that sounds about right. Evaporated milk and "sweetened, condensed" milk are not the same thing. Just taste them both and you'll know. One tastes like baby formula, the other like sugary syrupy milk. Sweetened, condensed milk is about 10x thicker than evaporated milk.

    Yes, sugar in vagina a bad thing Yeast infections galore.

    Also, I've never paid more than $1.50 for evaporated milk and can usually find it at the dollar store when I need it. Maybe you're thinking of powdered milk? That's expensive. But I agree, if you can use something like corn starch, I'd do that instead. I don't know if it's just me, but the thought of using milk in my vagina scares me too.
    Honestly, I have no idea how much the stuff costs - like I said, I'm allergic to refined sugar, so I don't go anywhere near the stuff! Lol. The price was a rough guess based on similar costs of other stuff, and a vague memory of buying some for my man when he was candy-making. Its obviously going to depend on where you are, which store you go to, size of the can, etc etc.

    But however you slice it, it seems like a pricey option, given that you could be using corn starch and water.....maybe I'm just cheap! lol
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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Manyroses:
    Unfortunately the recipe called for sweetened condensed milk :S, so i think evaporated milk would not make a difference and thanks for the clarification.

    I think I will try looking or a new recipe, the body lotion/ starch seems to bode well, and you bring an excellent point about the cost. I was a little frustrated with the cost of my fake cum. At least I can eat the eggs.

    Cam_model_jess: Yeah, I never thought of that and it may be a blessing in disguise, I seem to get those infections easily :S.

    Badcompany: I think that for now, to finish the condensed milk, I will leave out the egg and sugar and water it down more for external use. It will taste better than starchy water. And oh shit, I am sorry to hear about what happened in your show!! I was worried about the same thing happening, so went to do some test squeezes and yup, my instinct was on, the toy would not work. And I am glad, in a way, that I was not the only one who had a hard time connecting both parts. I felt like an idiot fiddling with it for 10 minutes trying to just connect the damn thing. Heh. I think the model needs to be revised or something. The toy cannot even take in the cum recipe it provides.

    Thank you to all of you lovely ladies who gave advice. I will take all of it into consideration and have found it all to be fairly useful.

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Ok I have the squirting dildo its my number one toy due to how much I can deepthroat. I usually use a french vanilla coffee creamer. If I use condensed milk I have to use half or more water because its to thick! Guys love the french vanilla coffee creamer to, I even put a little water in that because the thinner it is the farther it will shoot/squirt. I use it to squirt inside me for shows to I always shower RIGHT after to avoid infections. To fill it up stick either the head inside a cup with the liquid and squeeze while its filling up, straighten out the tube so its straight up not all smashed down it will fill up fast. If you pulled the string out just stick the end of the tube in the liquid and fill up the same way. I hope this helps u

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Quote Originally Posted by LeaLovesyou View Post
    Ok I have the squirting dildo its my number one toy due to how much I can deepthroat. I usually use a french vanilla coffee creamer. If I use condensed milk I have to use half or more water because its to thick! Guys love the french vanilla coffee creamer to, I even put a little water in that because the thinner it is the farther it will shoot/squirt. I use it to squirt inside me for shows to I always shower RIGHT after to avoid infections. To fill it up stick either the head inside a cup with the liquid and squeeze while its filling up, straighten out the tube so its straight up not all smashed down it will fill up fast. If you pulled the string out just stick the end of the tube in the liquid and fill up the same way. I hope this helps u
    Hmmmmm, coffee creamer.....good idea, never thought of that.

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Realistic cum recipe: Milk, Water and Thick It. just keep adding ThickIt until you get the rite consistency. After reading a thread on here i went on a googly search for porn FX forums and found a lot of trade secrets

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    Senior Member 4urpleasure's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Okay, so I now have the tbes working, easier to put in etc etc, now what happens is all it does is squirt out of the bottom hole, no matter how much I fill the syringe with. Ive looked up problems online, but no one seems to have had this problem. Does anyone know how to tinker with the tube inside? The instructions with this dildo is very mininal, and I would love to actually put this damn toy to use.

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    Maybe it's just a shit toy - and not your cum recipe , but rather just a useless piece of equipment . If it doesn't work after all this time, I would suggest getting in touch with the company who sold you it and demanding a refund - some adult companies, rely on the fact that the customer is going to be too embarassed , worried about being exposed to actually bother complaining about a dysfunctional product ..... Once you have your money back , perhaps college cutie can share which toy is more apt for cause in question.

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    Default Re: Stupid new dildo being bad. Grrr. Frustrating.

    I have a squirting toy too, but not the "full monty" desighn. Just a toy which looks really like real cock. The ony problem is that i always have to hold it above me or nothing comes out. So its good for blowjobs...i'm on my knees and pretending that a guy is standing near me with his cock above my mouth and squeezeeeeeee...all over my face,boobs...this way it works perfectly and they love it. And i use evaporated milk or unwhipped cream...the liquid form.

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