I just can't. I can't handle free chat.
I think I am actually going to go insane.
I took a week break from camming as my internet broke, and it took me like...5 whole days to psych myself up to start camming again.
I don't know what's wrong with me though. I have been doing this for a year and have been FINE...in fact I love it.
I really absolutely love giving cam shows. It makes me so happy when someone tells me after (which they frequently do) that I gave them the best show they have ever had.
But the last couple of weeks have been hell for me. I just can't motivate myself to go on cam, because I KNOW I will have to deal with these endless fucking MORONS asking me the SAME.QUESTIONS,OVER.AND.OVER.AGAIN.
Do you escort bb, where do you live bb, can I get a twirl bb, anal bb, fist bb, sex with a dog bb? turn around bb? bend over bb, phone bb? im wanking while watching you in free is that ok bb? do you dom bb? turn on my cam bb? go on, just take a sneaky peek bb? pee bb? poo bb? vomit bb? do you have nice feet bb? can i check bb?
I reckon I'm having a burn out at the moment, but god, I really can't afford to right now. I have bills to pay and I am in bad debt.
I don't know how I am going to get through it and I am so miserable because camming is what I really want to do at the moment. I love the sex industry and I really want to do well, and I know that I can!
Like...I know that if I put the effort in, I could easily make a good amount of money. I have done. In fact apart from the obvious, general bad days, whenever I put the effort in and work longer than 4-6 hours, I make great money.
But for example today....I barely made $40. And the reason for that is because I didn't stay on longer than about 20 minutes at a time. In fact I was probably only online in total for an hour and a half. However I have been trying to work all day. I have been dressed, made up, and set up to work all day. And I have just put it off, and put it off.
Then I would force myself to get on, stay on for ten minutes and then just log off.
I'm so frustrated at myself. I think it's some sort of burn out. I think as well I am just a bit depressed or something. For the last week it's not just camming I can't motivate myself to do. It's pretty much EVERYTHING.
I can barely motivate myself to get out of bed and stop watching awful endless bad tv shows.
I dont really know what I'm hoping for by posting this here. I know no one can hold my hand and force me to just GET ONLINE. Hmm.
Sorry.



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