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Thread: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

  1. #1
    Member Bigsoftandwet1's Avatar
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    Default Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    First i should give a little back ground on this dilemma that i have. I am a African American, plus sized cam model. I am new to this profession, a client contacts me and ask me to humiliate him and make him feel inferior to me, this is a fetish of his, he explained to me that he is a white male, married who works at home all of the time, who needs an outlet to express his fantasies and fetishes of being humiliated by a big black woman.. I let him know, i am no pro at this and i do not have the slightest idea of what i am doing. This is absolutely what he want's(no pro). I have agreed to do this for him regularly. He want's to start off chatting, then camming, then ultimately meeting. I do not know how to even begin but i am willing to learn. I need some ideas on how to humiliate and make some one feel pathetic with a fetish for cigarettes; he fantasizes about being a human ashtray, he wants to be my white bitch, cuckolded, e.ct. but more than that verbally abused...the thing is i am not experienced in this at all, and i need guidance... some one please help me on how to talk to him, what chores or assignments to give him... just point me in the right direction then hopefully i can take off from there. it's funny, i also get a lot of request for small penis humiliation for guy's who don't have small penises omg what do i do there as well, please excuse my ignorance but i need to become a master in these domains. please help if u can. i am not interested in negative comments, just helpful ones. Thank you in advance.

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    Veteran Member JuliAnne333's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    He wants to start off "chatting" then "camming" then eventually "meeting"? Really? And you are OK with that?

    Is the "chatting" part free for him? How about the camming part? As for meeting him, are you an escort? You would really meet some guy off the net like that? Wow.

    It's easy to humiliate someone, but, you have to have the personality for it already. If you are a softie (as in your personality) you are NEVER going to be able to be a complete and utter bitch to him.

    All I do when I get these small dick, humiliation guys is think of my ex hubby and all the shitty things I would like to say to him. LOL Then again, I have a side to me that can be quite mean. If you don't have that already ingrained, you will struggle with this and he will lose interest.

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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    Okay, if he wants to start off chatting and then camming that is all fine and dandy but tell him we can start off " chatting and camming in private" Men will get off for Free on the fetish or sex talk alone so I try to keep it at a minimum on that. Some privates don't even need anything but me sitting there and talking the whole time..lol
    Now with meeting, if this is a main-site customer then you DO NOT want to risk getting banned from the site for this guy and if this is your customer from your own site, then do what you are comfortable with. I know some do real-time sessions but you MUST BE CAREFUL and screen and take all the right precautions to prevent any negative outcome is all I will say. What you do is your business just be safe and smart about it.

    Humiliation is just the belittle, making fun of, making one feel inferior, etc all those things you were told not to do when being mean to someone. There is really no wrong or right way to do it. It all depends on your style and what they customer is asking for.

    You can look at fetish sites like FetLife and CollarMe for more idea as well
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    Hi, Bigsoftandwet1.

    Like HustletteDiva said, I definitely would not risk being suspended/banned from the site that you're working on (unless you're indie) just to have a potential faithful customer. I think it's important to sell a fantasy and to keep him wanting you more and more. Once he meets you (if that's what you intend to do), he may not buy shows from you anymore and/or may think that he can get freebies.

    As for his fetishes, I found this to be a very helpful SPH thread: http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...=small%20penis

    With respect to domination, I completely understand where you are coming from- It's hard for me to be dominant as well, however, I am willing to learn if someone is willing to be patient, like the customer in your post. & It seems like this potential faithful customer is willing to help you perfect whatever skills you already have. I think it may be helpful to research (even outside this site) his fetishes (and even check out youtube for "demonstrations") and then try them on him with your own spin on them. Also, asking him what he likes specifically can help. Then, put those things into action with your best acting skills! Camming allows you to be someone who is the complete opposite of what you are in RL--tap into that and you will do fine!

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    Featured Member Rina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    If you are getting a lot of domination requests it's probably worth investing in some good books on the subject: The Mistress Manual by Mistress Lorelai, Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Guide, and S&M 101 by Jay Wiseman are good starting places. Also check out some of the forums on Fetlife.

    Ok now about your client, be wary. He wants to start of chatting. Make him take you private for it. Make him pay for assignments. Everything has a price. I am always wary of guys who say they don't want pros, because this usually translates into they don't want to pay. They give a line about wanting a real connection and how they need this . I am Af-Am and have been doing online domination since "07. I've been playing irl longer than I care to admit.

    You really have to be wary of the ones that talk of meeting. I find it best to crush that idea from the door, and set reasonable expectations upfront. Makes life much easier. Again this is back to the I don't want pros thing if you don't want a pro why are you on cam site? Will he expect you to meet for free? Some will try to top from the bottom or test your limits. Be firm.
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    Awesome idea!...seriously..I've turned down quite a few guys because I am a nice chick but I guess it is all about acting. I'm definitely going to think of a few of my exes next time for extra motivation lol...I know its extra money that I've lost out on so I'm going to try it again. I've only done it once for one guy and he thought I was awesome. I just need to be a mean bitch more often lol
    Quote Originally Posted by JuliAnne333 View Post
    He wants to start off "chatting" then "camming" then eventually "meeting"? Really? And you are OK with that?



    All I do when I get these small dick, humiliation guys is think of my ex hubby and all the shitty things I would like to say to him. LOL Then again, I have a side to me that can be quite mean. If you don't have that already ingrained, you will struggle with this and he will lose interest.

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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    It's hard for me to mean as well. Luckily, I don't get that request often. I do have a few that like me to demand them, but even them it's more topping from the bottom type thing for me (this is from guys that are my regs and know my personality). The times I am able to be mean is when a freeloader pisses me off. So I decline most subs as from what I've had they have all been whiny bitches that want to top from the bottom anyway.

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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vanity69 View Post
    Awesome idea!...seriously..I've turned down quite a few guys because I am a nice chick but I guess it is all about acting. I'm definitely going to think of a few of my exes next time for extra motivation lol...I know its extra money that I've lost out on so I'm going to try it again. I've only done it once for one guy and he thought I was awesome. I just need to be a mean bitch more often lol
    If you're not sure what to do, look up some humiliation videos on youtube. That's how I found the SPH bitchy size queen part of me



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  16. #9
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    No , i'm not going to meet any body lol... I said this is what he wants, i already told him they we are going to keep it at chatting and web caming... he says that he wishes and hopes that i change my mind so that we can eventually meet... uh not going to happen, as i am a mother of 3 and i must be careful. Yes he has paid for the chatting so far, we have not had a webcam date yet but when we do he will pay for it lol.... but i thank u for ur input or judgment which ever it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by JuliAnne333 View Post
    He wants to start off "chatting" then "camming" then eventually "meeting"? Really? And you are OK with that?

    Is the "chatting" part free for him? How about the camming part? As for meeting him, are you an escort? You would really meet some guy off the net like that? Wow.

    It's easy to humiliate someone, but, you have to have the personality for it already. If you are a softie (as in your personality) you are NEVER going to be able to be a complete and utter bitch to him.

    All I do when I get these small dick, humiliation guys is think of my ex hubby and all the shitty things I would like to say to him. LOL Then again, I have a side to me that can be quite mean. If you don't have that already ingrained, you will struggle with this and he will lose interest.

  17. #10
    Member Bigsoftandwet1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by HustletteDiva View Post
    Okay, if he wants to start off chatting and then camming that is all fine and dandy but tell him we can start off " chatting and camming in private" Men will get off for Free on the fetish or sex talk alone so I try to keep it at a minimum on that. Some privates don't even need anything but me sitting there and talking the whole time..lol
    Now with meeting, if this is a main-site customer then you DO NOT want to risk getting banned from the site for this guy and if this is your customer from your own site, then do what you are comfortable with. I know some do real-time sessions but you MUST BE CAREFUL and screen and take all the right precautions to prevent any negative outcome is all I will say. What you do is your business just be safe and smart about it.

    Humiliation is just the belittle, making fun of, making one feel inferior, etc all those things you were told not to do when being mean to someone. There is really no wrong or right way to do it. It all depends on your style and what they customer is asking for.

    You can look at fetish sites like FetLife and CollarMe for more idea as well
    wow now that's what i'm talking bout; Thank u 4 ur help, as that is just what u did 4 me.. and thank u 4 ur concern but i am not meeting this dude ever... this is what he want's... he hopes to gain my trust enough to one day do it... i am comfortable with internet, messaging and phone only... plus he wants to give me money on a regular basis on something called a green dot card. i gotta look into what that is, i think it's one of those prepaids. i am very cautious about this but i thank u again for ur help.

  18. #11
    Member Bigsoftandwet1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by milliauna View Post
    Hi, Bigsoftandwet1.

    Like HustletteDiva said, I definitely would not risk being suspended/banned from the site that you're working on (unless you're indie) just to have a potential faithful customer. I think it's important to sell a fantasy and to keep him wanting you more and more. Once he meets you (if that's what you intend to do), he may not buy shows from you anymore and/or may think that he can get freebies.

    As for his fetishes, I found this to be a very helpful SPH thread: http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...=small%20penis

    With respect to domination, I completely understand where you are coming from- It's hard for me to be dominant as well, however, I am willing to learn if someone is willing to be patient, like the customer in your post. & It seems like this potential faithful customer is willing to help you perfect whatever skills you already have. I think it may be helpful to research (even outside this site) his fetishes (and even check out youtube for "demonstrations") and then try them on him with your own spin on them. Also, asking him what he likes specifically can help. Then, put those things into action with your best acting skills! Camming allows you to be someone who is the complete opposite of what you are in RL--tap into that and you will do fine!
    Thank u , that is what i needed, i appreciate ur response and ur help... yes the thought of being ignorant with this makes me nervous but I will give it a try, if it's not my thing, i'll give it up.

  19. #12
    Member Bigsoftandwet1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok i am new to this...HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rina View Post
    If you are getting a lot of domination requests it's probably worth investing in some good books on the subject: The Mistress Manual by Mistress Lorelai, Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Guide, and S&M 101 by Jay Wiseman are good starting places. Also check out some of the forums on Fetlife.

    Ok now about your client, be wary. He wants to start of chatting. Make him take you private for it. Make him pay for assignments. Everything has a price. I am always wary of guys who say they don't want pros, because this usually translates into they don't want to pay. They give a line about wanting a real connection and how they need this . I am Af-Am and have been doing online domination since "07. I've been playing irl longer than I care to admit.

    You really have to be wary of the ones that talk of meeting. I find it best to crush that idea from the door, and set reasonable expectations upfront. Makes life much easier. Again this is back to the I don't want pros thing if you don't want a pro why are you on cam site? Will he expect you to meet for free? Some will try to top from the bottom or test your limits. Be firm.
    Thank u ... u know i thought the same thing.. that he wanted shit 4 free, so i asked him a lot of questions.. why me somebody totally not experienced in this.. when he should get a pro so he could get off... but its kool cuz he did and will pay my in-experienced ass lol.

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