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Thread: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

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    Default How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    I am extremely new to dancing...and I work at a club where alot of illegal activity goes on.
    Where I live prostitution is illegal, yet we have dancers who offer sexual services in the VIP section...
    Also, the customers feel up the dancers (which I also believe is illegal in Texas?)

    When I say feel up I mean REALLY feel up! Like I had a customer move my bottoms to the side to reveal my private parts (when I do NOT dance nude) and proceed to rub my clit. He also pulled my breast out of my top and rubbed on my nipples. One of my friends I work with had a customer LITERALLY stick his tongue in her butthole and finger her. Not every customer is this bold, but a handful of them are like this

    The main question I have is how on earth do I handle this! I want them to continue to tip me and to keep buying dances, but I feel a tad violated. Any suggestions?

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Alright, first off - it is NOT OKAY that a customer actually got so far as to rub your clit. NEXT TIME - say NO and stop dancing for the fucker. If someone touches you against your will that is molestation, regardless of the venue it takes place in. Go get a bouncer, get a manager, and get the asshole in trouble. If management won't do anything about it; see what you can do about finding another club.

    Now; about how to handle the customers breaking the rules....The first thing is to make them aware of the rules. Find out the laws in your area regarding exotic dancing. You can seriously call the sheriff's office and ask if you can't find it online or you feel that the management might be lying to you. Often laws will be strict but clubs expect you to....bend them somewhat (example: men are legally allowed to touch breasts but not nipples - but management will overlook nipple touching). Just because the club is willing to overlook some or loads of illegal behavior doesn't mean you have to do it. Decide what you're comfortable will. Most girls on SW will tell you to follow the rules to a T....which really is the best advice if you want to avoid the possibility being dragged into court on some trumped up sex offender charge. Before you start dancing for your customer, make sure you tell them your rules. Not the CLUB'S rules - yours. For example "So before we start having fun; remember you can touch my thighs, back, stomach and arms if you're gentle; but no cookie or titties. Wouldn't want to have to cut our fun short." or whatever you deem appropriate. Once they know the rules they can't claim "...the OTHER dancers said it was okay"...

    Next; when you're dancing your first song for them, watch them like a hawk. Gauge them. If they're pushing their boundaries and trying to rush you to take off your panties in the first 15 seconds, then they'll be more likely to jump the gun and try and stick their hands where they don't belong. The way they act in the first minute or two gives you a huge clue as to how trustworthy they are and how likely they are to follow your rules. If a customer behaves well in the first song, I'm more likely to give him a more liberal dance and put myself in more compromising situations. If you find your custy is breaking the rules early in, reprimand them straight away. Tell them "No" firmly, what they did that is against your rules, and explain your rules to them again. You can always tell them to sit on their hands too, if you don't 'trust them' (although truth is, if you feel they're going to try something again you really should end the dance right then and there). If they break your rules a second time, I would just end the dances right then and there. No big deal because you got the money upfront first, right? Right.

    If a customer ever gets nasty or aggressive; don't stick around and wait it out. Don't expect him to regain control of himself. And don't expect that you'll be able to control him. I've broken these stripping commandments myself and it's only lead to trouble. NO ONE should lay their hands on you if you haven't given them express permission. The fact that you're a dancer DOES NOT make it okay for anyone to touch you someplace you're uncomfortable with. You job is to entertain, not to please. Go get a bouncer right away. Get away from that customer and hope the club does IT'S job and kicks him out. I've worked at some skeevy places where management will always side with the customer, and as disheartening as it is, sometimes the assholes are allowed to stick around. IF that's the case, cut your losses, get your money and walk away.

    You feel violated because you WERE violated darling, and I'm so sorry that's happened too you. Grow a thick skin and be prepared to stand your ground in this business from here on out. There is nothing worse than feeling used. Hope I helped some. Let me know if you need anything else; I have a plethora of great one-liners for customers who need reminding of rules/guidelines/laws/etc.

    XOXO



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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    Alright, first off - it is NOT OKAY that a customer actually got so far as to rub your clit. NEXT TIME - say NO and stop dancing for the fucker. If someone touches you against your will that is molestation, regardless of the venue it takes place in. Go get a bouncer, get a manager, and get the asshole in trouble. If management won't do anything about it; see what you can do about finding another club.

    Now; about how to handle the customers breaking the rules....The first thing is to make them aware of the rules. Find out the laws in your area regarding exotic dancing. You can seriously call the sheriff's office and ask if you can't find it online or you feel that the management might be lying to you. Often laws will be strict but clubs expect you to....bend them somewhat (example: men are legally allowed to touch breasts but not nipples - but management will overlook nipple touching). Just because the club is willing to overlook some or loads of illegal behavior doesn't mean you have to do it. Decide what you're comfortable will. Most girls on SW will tell you to follow the rules to a T....which really is the best advice if you want to avoid the possibility being dragged into court on some trumped up sex offender charge. Before you start dancing for your customer, make sure you tell them your rules. Not the CLUB'S rules - yours. For example "So before we start having fun; remember you can touch my thighs, back, stomach and arms if you're gentle; but no cookie or titties. Wouldn't want to have to cut our fun short." or whatever you deem appropriate. Once they know the rules they can't claim "...the OTHER dancers said it was okay"...

    Next; when you're dancing your first song for them, watch them like a hawk. Gauge them. If they're pushing their boundaries and trying to rush you to take off your panties in the first 15 seconds, then they'll be more likely to jump the gun and try and stick their hands where they don't belong. The way they act in the first minute or two gives you a huge clue as to how trustworthy they are and how likely they are to follow your rules. If a customer behaves well in the first song, I'm more likely to give him a more liberal dance and put myself in more compromising situations. If you find your custy is breaking the rules early in, reprimand them straight away. Tell them "No" firmly, what they did that is against your rules, and explain your rules to them again. You can always tell them to sit on their hands too, if you don't 'trust them' (although truth is, if you feel they're going to try something again you really should end the dance right then and there). If they break your rules a second time, I would just end the dances right then and there. No big deal because you got the money upfront first, right? Right.

    If a customer ever gets nasty or aggressive; don't stick around and wait it out. Don't expect him to regain control of himself. And don't expect that you'll be able to control him. I've broken these stripping commandments myself and it's only lead to trouble. NO ONE should lay their hands on you if you haven't given them express permission. The fact that you're a dancer DOES NOT make it okay for anyone to touch you someplace you're uncomfortable with. You job is to entertain, not to please. Go get a bouncer right away. Get away from that customer and hope the club does IT'S job and kicks him out. I've worked at some skeevy places where management will always side with the customer, and as disheartening as it is, sometimes the assholes are allowed to stick around. IF that's the case, cut your losses, get your money and walk away.

    You feel violated because you WERE violated darling, and I'm so sorry that's happened too you. Grow a thick skin and be prepared to stand your ground in this business from here on out. There is nothing worse than feeling used. Hope I helped some. Let me know if you need anything else; I have a plethora of great one-liners for customers who need reminding of rules/guidelines/laws/etc.

    XOXO
    Thank you for your response! I was feeling almost as if it being touched like them came with the territory of working in such a sexualized environment, then wondered why it made me feel so violated. I think my problem was that I was trying so hard to make money that even when it started to get out of hand I still stuck around because he had a stack of money in his hand, and I wasnt making much because Ive been too shy to get on stage yet :/ I was trying so hard to at least make tip out (Im a super newbie!)

    What makes it worse is that the managers could care less. Actually I had a manager call me back into his office, ask me for a lapdance, pull out my breasts, and attempt to lick my nipples(At this point I backed away!). I damn near ran out of his office. I feel a tad naive now....this is my first club and I just assumed that this was the norm. This isnt normal, correct?

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    well, this is not breaking rules. this is sexual assault. without getting into detail, because i know it's probably not practical for you to do what i did, but i would flee that club. rape is not a part of this job or something we have to "deal" with. run for your life.
    I agree. I REALLY think it's time for me to run farrrrrr away from this club. The management is full of assholes. I swear one of them was pitching some pimp ish to me! He wanted to "personally manage me." What in the hell does that even mean?

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Stand up for yourself, that's what you do. Pull your panties to the side? Step IMMEDIATELY away from him and chastise: "You are not allowed to touch my bottoms. If you do it again, I am going to end the dance." Same if a guy touches your boobs without your express permission (I don't know what your boundaries are).

    Get your money up front, and don't be afraid to use your voice.

    And as far as management's little "audition" of you.. NO NO NO. NOT NORMAL.

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Stand up for yourself, that's what you do. Pull your panties to the side? Step IMMEDIATELY away from him and chastise: "You are not allowed to touch my bottoms. If you do it again, I am going to end the dance." Same if a guy touches your boobs without your express permission (I don't know what your boundaries are).

    Get your money up front, and don't be afraid to use your voice.

    And as far as management's little "audition" of you.. NO NO NO. NOT NORMAL.
    Thank you for clearing that up...this is starting to discourage me from dancing

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    And when I said I assumed this was "normal" I meant like I kind of expected some corruption in the way the business is ran being its in the sex industry. Especially in Houston where alot of clubs allow illegal "extras." According to some posts I have read Houston is known for this (which is unfortunate!) I am trying to find a club in Houston that doesnt operate like this!

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    You might try traveling. From what I know, Houston is pretty hardcore.

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    I actually go to school an hour away in a rural area. I will most definitely try another area next....
    But Houston is pretty big, there has to be somewhere!

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    That's actually a very good idea, BringOnTheMen. I need to establish boundaries and keep my eyes on the dudes. At my club people only mention VIP when they want sex...but this just goes back to the finding a new club that's worth the time and effort. When we give lapdances the guys just tip us whatever they feel like, maybe I should start naming a price upfront? How do it do that when the other girls dont without losing a customer!?

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Yeah, just go to another club or if you are serious about dancing go to another city: Texas has the largest amount of clubs in all US, there will be a place for you.





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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Change clubs as soon as you can. You are not there to be sexually abused. You are not there to be violated. You are not there to be groped. You are not a fuck doll to be used by these men who frequent your club OR the management.

    Find a club with respectable management, or at least ones who dont think its ok to attempt to touch you themselves. If you are not ok with them touching you, you tell them NO! What these men did to you is sexual assault, just because you are in a strip club it does not make it ok for a man to touch your clit or lick your nipple. Imagine if someone did it to you on the street, you would call the police, just because they are paying to see you naked/topless does not mean they have the right to grope you. I know that laws change state to state in the US but you need to find out what exactly they are where you re dancing. It is NEVER ok for a customer (or anyone else) to touch you if you do not want them to. There are dickhead customers in every club who will try to cop a feel but if you are not comfortable with it, you need to say no, if you are not backed up by management and bouncers then you need to move clubs.

    This is not the norm for strip clubs and i cannot stress that enough. If a customer tried to touch my clit he would wind up with my stiletto up his nostril digging into his brain. Do some research, look up clubs on the internet, travel to a few and talk to the girls, find one where you feel comfortable and happy. You should be able to go to work without the worry and stress of some arsehole thinking he can touch you for a few dollars. You are worth much more than that! No wonder you feel violated, i honestly nearly cried reading your OP!! This is not how dancing has to be for you!! DON'T BE A VICTIM!!

    xxx
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

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    Default Re: How to Handle Customers Breaking Rules!?

    Stick to doing table dances until you have a better grip on the layout of the club and if you're going to be backed up by a bouncer.
    If you're working in a club that doesn't care, it is NOT worth going into a private area with a strange man who may not be put off
    by you saying no, no matter how loud.

    If you do decide to keep doing private dances, always take your shoes off and put them near you so you can either use them as a weapon,
    or throw them out of the room so when a bouncer walks by, they take the hint and come and check on you. Also, you can run at the first
    sign of trouble, which is why you SHOULD get your money up front.

    Partner up with another clean girl and try to sell double dances so you can watch each other's backs.

    And start tipping those bouncers so they know what side their bread is buttered on.

    oh, and a self-defense course. You might also consider just travelling into Baton Rouge or New Orleans
    for the weekends. Even with all the extras in New Orleans, I NEVER had shit like that happen to me,
    though I have heard stories so all of the above still applies.

    The clubs in Baton Rouge are pretty clean though. You will need a parish license for any of the three clubs there.

    Isn't there a club in Baymont?
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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