View Poll Results: What do you think her motives were

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  • Just doing her job

    38 95.00%
  • Intersted in me

    1 2.50%
  • Other off the clock intentions

    1 2.50%
  • From the heat of the moment

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Thread: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

  1. #1
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    Question Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Sorry for the post length in advance thanks to all who read.

    Hi i was hoping for an answer from the dancers perspective because I have never been in this particular situation. I would like to first state i was not actively trying to get her number and had no intentions of picking anyone up when i entered the club. I had just gotten my tax return and have been going through a stressful time and figured i'd have some fun. I had been sitting in the club for about an hour before the girl in question (who i will call Jane) came to the stage I had been at a table in the back and moved up and through a few dollars on the stage during her final show she asks if i want to go with her for the promo before leaving the stage i agree.

    When she returns from backstage we head to a booth. She asks where I'm from i tell her and she asks if i'd ever been to a club in town, I told her I hadn't which is true, she asks if I had been to the club before i tell her once for a bachelor party also true. She asks if i smoke a specific green illegal substance and i do she says me too. Next she starts with typical Flattery that I had encountered in my previous visit I like your hair your beard is manly etc etc, while playing with my hair (which really gets me going), and licking my ear. Enjoying the dance and her company i suggest vip (which was more or less the plan on entering the club) and she says "you read my mind don't be surprised if I cum on you in there" which i also figure to be typical seduction attempts, nothing i wasn't expecting just enjoying the fantasy if you will.

    Now it gets a little confusing for me we get back to vip and start small chat and she shares information about her family, her mother and how she started dancing, what happened at her old club all more or less unsolicited by me. The waitress returns with my card I tip her and Jane jumps on me as soon as the waitress leaves and begins where she left off in the booth. She is sitting on my left leg we're basically forehead to forehead, and i can feel my pants getting wet (full nude club) I make some sort of joking comment after which she open mouth kisses me now I'm confused but I'm into it so i kiss back and this continues for a while, as she continues grinding my leg she says we should get together for coffee and we fit well together. I say I'll give you my number not really expecting her to remember at the end of the half hour, as well as i don't even know your real name she tells me. so more of the same we start talking more where she went to school why she dropped out of college why I'm still in school regular small talk. I'm into the dance as i said before and I'm mouthy i start kissing her neck and stop and apologize say i have an oral fixation (true) she says it's ok that's not a bad thing more of the same continues. Just for full context i do not cum nor did i want to she does i believe as she started moaning my pants got very wet and warm (not sure if it matters sorry if it's too graphic).

    So the waitress says times up while shes getting dressed and I'm collecting the contents of my pockets she says aren't you going to give me your number i say you don't really want it she says no give it to me i'll give you mine just text me i say ok hand her my phone and she enters her info i text her (she replies 5 min later while backstage so real number.) While I'm expressing doubt about her desire for my number she says she feels bad i don't find myself good looking and brushes my hair out of my face saying I'm handsome.

    She runs up to me and jumps in my lap later after while i had returned to a table and says she's going for a cigarette and will be right back the dj sends her on stage before she got to the dressing room and she returns later after she did a few more dances saying she's tired and doesn't want to go back stage i say well why not do one more dance she asks if im serious and we talk some more basically about basic stuff where i work and i don't remember i was tired. she says i made her night and she'll be in my town this week (she lived there briefly) says she'll call me i say please do. Next afternoon she texts me saying she had a good time hope i did too and have a nice day i respond with something similar and she doesn't respond i then text her the next day with a generic "hey" also no response so just an opinion is she really interested? I have my doubts but from the conversation we had she seems like a bright and fun girl that i would love to get to know.

    So just wondering from a dancer's perspective what is her motive. she knows i don't have a lot of cash as I'm a college student and work retail, and that i don't often go to strip clubs. She didn't mention anything to make me think shes doing anything illegal. As far as physically I'm tall 6'2 but overweight (260) and she is 20, local and really attractive I cant see her being interested in me so what do you think, sorry for invading your forum and thank you for taking the time to read this and any insight you may have to offer I suspect it is possible that she read me and I'm a generally lonely person and was there alone she may have read me and played to that In which case i guess she's really good at her job considering her age. Thanks again any input is appreciated.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    she doesn't respond i then text her the next day with a generic "hey" also no response
    There is your answer.


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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    You're right, she's not interested in you.

    Even though you don't spend much in SCs, you spend more than zero, and that makes you a customer.

    She gave you her number (it's a business # for customers, not her "real" number) to get you back into the club to spend on her.

    End of story.

    As I was banging my head on my keyboard it spelled out this: It's just amazing the shit guys will tell themselves to avoid seeing the glaringly obvious.
    Last edited by All Good Things; 03-14-2012 at 02:07 PM.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Just like they said shes probably just wanting you to come back and spend more.
    I had a similar thing happen when I was in Vegas minus the touchy extras stuff. I got a few dances from a lovely dancer and we exchanged numbers, we talk on FB every once in a while but that's it. No friend ship or romance just chatting and if I go back to Vegas im sure shed be happy to see me, so I can spend more on her lol.
    I don't think id give my number out though as a soon to be dancer myself but some do. Its a job not a love connection.
    Last edited by velocixo; 03-14-2012 at 02:16 PM.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Typical tired high contact + extras hustle.

    Remember that not all dancers are like this or into this type of activity, so always ask permission before you get "mouthy" (what are you, a teething puppy?) and indulge your "oral fixation" (gross).

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Just read your story. I agree with the posters above. Plus if she's an attractive female that made out with you then I hope you followed up with some strong mouthwash for at the very least 45 mins. If she kissed you then you just kissed every customer she had that night. ( Hopefully you got there early). Plus "kissing" is not something most dancers do at all. This does sounds on the extras side of things. So yeah I wouldn't go trying to put your mouth on another dancer or you'll be looking forward to a punch in the face.

    Plus she ignored your text message? Yeah she's not interested unless you're in the club spending.

    Remember you came into the club to feel better about things. She did that for you and that's what you paid for. So all in all you got a great time with a very generous dancer but again for future reference mouth wash before and after unless you want some mouth sores.

    Actually she made you feel extra special so I would use her number only when you can afford to go back in again.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by cherryblossomsinspring View Post
    Remember you came into the club to feel better about things. She did that for you and that's what you paid for. So all in all you got a great time with a very generous dancer but again for future reference mouth wash before and after unless you want some mouth sores.

    Actually she made you feel extra special so I would use her number only when you can afford to go back in again.
    That was perfectly put.

    just - it was a high contact seduction hustle and it worked. She started it on you during a LD and it led you to purchase a VIP and even an add-on dance later. She made some money off of you and you left feeling better than you did when you walked in. In most instances, that would be considered a win-win.

    The only wrinkle here is that you are a college student working a retail job. You really can't afford to have that type of good time too often. And, for that matter, loneliness and strip clubs are a very bad mix. There are plenty of girls who will use seduction hustles to sell you whatever they can, for as long as they can, including the girl that you were with. She knew you were a broke student, yet she took every dollar that you offered her and even tried to lure you back into the club the next day. Don't expect any dancer to treat you any differently. Most of them won't care about you and your financial health, nor is it their jobs to do so.

    Idk, but IMHO your money would be better spent on a gym membership and going to places where other young co-eds hang out, but that is obviously your call.

    Anyway, just my

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    She probably wants you to start thinking big as far as spending. "Oh, she kissed me...omg...I have to come back for more. This time for MORE dances and time!" She knows you don't make much money so she knows you won't be in there very often. The less frequently she sees you, the better for her (it means she doesn't have to do all those extras that often). She might be hoping for non-frequent, big-spending visits (big for you) where she can take it all at once instead of dragging it out. Hope this helps.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Thank you to those who responded basically confirming what i suspected maybe not what i hoped but definitely what i suspected. In my defense i do not and would not initiate the extra touch stuff but i kinda worked my way to the neck from the mouth after she kissed me (force of habit) and i stopped after i realized what i was doing now... just for the record from the information she gave me i came up with more info than she would want me to because of the internet I'm not gonna use is but I'm sure you all know you should be careful with your info. one last question though why the text the next day i that's the part that really threw me off.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    No she doesn't like you. No she didn't give you her number because she's interested. No you won't hook up with her. She wanted every dime she could get off you. Now that she has, there's no reason to continue bothering with you.

    Btw, for future reference, be careful where you put your mouth, you've no idea how many others have licked that same spot in that evening...
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    one last question though why the text the next day i that's the part that really threw me off.
    Texting is a very common tool used by dancers. She was trying to lure you back into the club while the iron was hot, so to speak.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    working on the weight thing thanks lol and I spent basically what i intended to going in and on my own no (direct suggestion) from her might I add. Thank you for your concern but this was the first time i had ever really spent a lot and only the third time I've ever been in a club and clearly from this i learned I'm too easy a mark to subject myself to it regularly and i did consider it win win the number thing threw me off I'm not disappointed maybe a little confused as to why this girl felt the need to do things you all frown upon as I DID NOT ASK for more and was happy with what she was doing in the regular booth as shes young clearly intelligent and obviously attractive but that's not my problem i guess but any way thanks for your concern i don't intend to do this frequently.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Be careful where you put your mouth on a dancer.

    Just as a note-I used to let me boyfriend come on me before I went to work...it gave me perverse joy to see guys gaping like a fish trying to lick me...if they only knew

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    All types of girls, all types of hustles. Just because you didn't ask doesn't mean it's not her usual schtick.

    It's frowned on here, because the girls here aren't run of the mill.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    in my defense of my gender I was 90% sure it was a hustle but that 10% really doesn't want that to be the case it's like men and sports we know our team sucks but we'll watch anyway that slim chance has a lot of power lol just some insight. lets be honest if i thought she really was into me i wouldn't have come here but that 10% says just maybe you should try to find out. It's stupid and slightly sick but it's the way we are i guess

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I've seen a lot of inexperienced and/or unprofessional dancers give their phone numbers out like candy to any and all customers. I've seen girls who used that as an approach...they would go up to a guy and chat for maybe a couple minutes, then either write her number on a napkin for him, or take his phone and enter it in herself, even if the guy hadn't spent a single cent on her. A lot of new girls are really focused on cultivating regulars, as they see these guys coming in and spending big money on top earners, and they are desperate to get that same kind of attention. Of course, this approach is totally useless, but they do it anyways.

    It's a strip club. The girls who give you their numbers are trying to get you to come back and spend. I don't care if she says that she REALLY wants to meet up OTC. She doesn't. Maybe if you frequent one particular girl over a long period of time and spend lots of money on her and you get to know each other, MAYBE then a girl will give you her number and mean it. But don't count on it.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    If you're certain your interest is in something more substantial than the club and its worth 'risking" the club relationship for....... if and when she texts you again, tell her you're done at the club, invite her out, and let the chips fall where they may. Just don't get your hopes up too high. Better to get hurt before you spend a bundle.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    ^ There are manifest advantages to spending "a bundle," so let's not forget that.

    Anyway, Bem, it's probably best not to lead this poor kid on any more. For a guy who said that he was 90% certain it was hustle, he posted a poll where 75% of the choices enumerated all the ways she might be interested in him other than it being her job.

    Let's at least give him some time for the lessons he's learned here to sink in.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    ^^I'm just encouraging him to get to the lesson's end asap.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Giving customers their numbers is another tactic to make the customer feel like it's a "real" connection and that he is "special". The only thing special is his money, especially VIP room money. (at my club that is a few hundred dollars) A good liar actually really believes their lie when they are lying or acting it out. But at the end of the day they don't think about you, and hence is why you got no reply via text message.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Short answer: Money.

    Long answer: Lots of money.

    That's her motivation.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    Next afternoon she texts me saying she had a good time hope i did too and have a nice day i respond with something similar and she doesn't respond i then text her the next day with a generic "hey" also no response so just an opinion is she really interested?
    Sometimes I like to go fishing. I'll bait the hook, cast it out and once in awhile, I'll strike and pull up a fish. Guess what I do next? Bait another hook and cast in the exact same spot. Just in case it's a school. But if nothing bites, I move on to a different spot, usually forgetting the original spot.

    The first night, she went fishing and caught you. Nothing wrong with that on either end - you had fun, she made money, great! So her text the next day was her casting another line in the same spot. Only you didn't come back. Nothing bit. So she moved on. Hence, no reply to your text the following day. The bait (text) didn't bring you back in (fish), so she figured, why throw out another bait?

    AGT once said you'll know it's real because her behavior will completely change - and it'll be obvious. If you even have to ask, the answer's 'no.' If her feelings were even remotely genuine, she would have responded...and kept responding. Think of what you do when you're interested in someone - different behavior, right?
    Last edited by Kessler; 03-16-2012 at 01:49 AM.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    You had fun. Dont analyze it to death.

    Anyone watch season 2 of Project Runway? Remember ' Lighten up it is just fashion'?



    Lighten up it is just dancing

    Threads where guys seem perplexed always get flooded with "she was just hustling you" with this almost bemused condescension like 'lol save your money bro' - yea, whatever but how about she was just doing her job? It isnt just a euphemism either: it is entertainment - you had a good time, the point is to dwell on the good time. Anything beyond that is a buzzkill. That's the 'magic' (aka the point) of fantasy. Some posts ppl will grumble abt the hustle, in others theyll grumble abt not being hustled enough ('wanna dance'), sometimes seduction and hustle will be used interchangeably. I mean, let's just call it even.

    Quote Originally Posted by cherryblossomsinspring View Post
    Remember you came into the club to feel better about things. She did that for you and that's what you paid for. So all in all you got a great time

    Actually she made you feel extra special so I would use her number only when you can afford to go back in again.
    +1

    If you get really stuck - read "He's Just Not That Into You - The No Excuses Guide to Understanding Guys" flip genders and see what applies.





    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    So how many stumps can you fit in your pussy?

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    why don't you text her once more tomorrow and ask if she'd still like that coffee? no reply? then you know 100% it's all bullshit.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by UrbanOzz View Post
    why don't you text her once more tomorrow and ask if she'd still like that coffee? no reply? then you know 100% it's all bullshit.
    Don't forget to establish how long of a wait is acceptable before she texts him back. Let's give her 1 month to respond. If she doesn't, THEN you know it's 100% bullshit

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