View Poll Results: What do you think her motives were

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  • Just doing her job

    38 95.00%
  • Intersted in me

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  • Other off the clock intentions

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Thread: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

  1. #26
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    Don't forget to establish how long of a wait is acceptable before she texts him back. Let's give her 1 month to respond. If she doesn't, THEN you know it's 100% bullshit

    Ok "bullshit" how exactly? Did she give out her number saying " yeah I want to date you, marry you, sleep with you"? Nope. It's a contact number. You have it and can use it again when you decide to return to the club.

    I don't understand how guys seem to act like they got "screwed over" or "scammed". She promised you nothing outside those SC doors but she gave you one hell of a great time inside them. She is there to make you feel great and she successfully did that. It's the day after that's got you feeling the " what if" blues.

    Enjoy what fun you had and just leave it as that. When you get a chance again you can always return.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I would like to thank you all for the insightful input to this situation. The what if blues would be 100% correct, however i don't feel like a got screwed over just puzzled by and suspicious of the perceived manipulation, after i had willingly spent more without her suggestion.

    however I do have an update on the situation i texted her one more time basically trying to stop contact saying i get it I'll leave her alone after this and she responded saying she had left her phone at her friends house because she had been staying there because her friends father died and hoping i wasn't mad and she wouldn't give me her number if "she didn't think was cool."

    I then apologized for and explained i had found some info on her online that she should know about, while i was trying to figure out if she gave me her real name before contacting her again. She called me emphatically saying everything she told me was true, and asking what i meant. i explained she said the number on her facebook is not her real number, and that she didn't care i told her i just thought she should know. I then texted her saying i'm a jerk and giving her my info so as not to seem creepier than i already looked at that point she replied with lol thanks.

    Next night i asked if she was down to smoke if she was in town, she said she had to work the other (bigger, better club) that i had met her at and she might be in town next week. I then texted an apology for the previous day and told her I have spring break and could come to her as well and said i enjoyed talking to her and would like the chance to get to know her better. I haven't heard back not that i was expecting i don't think I'm going to initiate contact again and FULLY UNDERSTAND I DID NOT HANDLE THIS VERY GRACEFULLY and if there was a chance i blew it so it is what it is I'd feel it be wrong to keep texting her and will simply wait (unlikely but maybe if it crosses my mind in a month or so like suggested above) unless any of you think other wise.

    also if i go to the club (not expecting to anytime soon) but if I do in the next few months should I contact her before going?

    *note: I handle situations this bad with all women not just this one and I'm usually very unsure of when to contact or how much never want to over do it.

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    Veteran Member UrbanOzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    probably shouldn't have told her you found info on her online. even though everyone googles everyone, it looks very stalkerish.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I know but when i sent that i was thinking I'd never hear from her again I suggested that it was not the best idea to give her real name. I tried to ease any discomfort by giving my own info so she could do the same, really just thought she should know though.

  7. #30
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    I would like to thank you all for the insightful input to this situation. The what if blues would be 100% correct, however i don't feel like a got screwed over just puzzled by and suspicious of the perceived manipulation, after i had willingly spent more without her suggestion.

    however I do have an update on the situation i texted her one more time basically trying to stop contact saying i get it I'll leave her alone after this and she responded saying she had left her phone at her friends house because she had been staying there because her friends father died and hoping i wasn't mad and she wouldn't give me her number if "she didn't think was cool."

    I then apologized for and explained i had found some info on her online that she should know about, while i was trying to figure out if she gave me her real name before contacting her again. She called me emphatically saying everything she told me was true, and asking what i meant. i explained she said the number on her facebook is not her real number, and that she didn't care i told her i just thought she should know. I then texted her saying i'm a jerk and giving her my info so as not to seem creepier than i already looked at that point she replied with lol thanks.

    Next night i asked if she was down to smoke if she was in town, she said she had to work the other (bigger, better club) that i had met her at and she might be in town next week. I then texted an apology for the previous day and told her I have spring break and could come to her as well and said i enjoyed talking to her and would like the chance to get to know her better. I haven't heard back not that i was expecting i don't think I'm going to initiate contact again and FULLY UNDERSTAND I DID NOT HANDLE THIS VERY GRACEFULLY and if there was a chance i blew it so it is what it is I'd feel it be wrong to keep texting her and will simply wait (unlikely but maybe if it crosses my mind in a month or so like suggested above) unless any of you think other wise.

    also if i go to the club (not expecting to anytime soon) but if I do in the next few months should I contact her before going?

    *note: I handle situations this bad with all women not just this one and I'm usually very unsure of when to contact or how much never want to over do it.
    Are you stupid? I mean, seriously, you came here, got the answers to your questions, and then went and did this anyway?? What chance?? What chance for what? You had no chance for anything before, and honestly, I'm surprised she even spoke to you once she found out about this little stunt of yours. Do you know how many times I have ignored a text message and then said the EXACT same thing to keep a customer around? IT'S A HUSTLE. What part of this did you not get the first time?? How much more plainly does it need to be stated?? And then you go and look her up online?? To what point and purpose if you claim it wasn't in fact for nefarious purposes? Who cares if she'd given you her real name if you'd listened to anything you were told here? If I were her, I would have you banned from the club altogether. Didn't handle it gracefully is a fucking understatement. Why couldn't you just let it be what it was? The good time that you said (after reading the original responses here) you knew it to be? Do yourself a favour, leave this girl alone and stay away from strippers and strip clubs altogether. Obviously you can't handle it.
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    ^^ They never hear the truth Jay, no matter how obvious- they tell themselves what they want and believe what they want because facing reality is entirely too bleak.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I am aware I'm very stupid (hindsight), went back and forth about telling her if it wasn't her real name its 100% a hustle and i never would have contacted her, and this occurred before i posted here. It may be flawed but there is logic there.

    But like i said when i contacted her I was not expecting a response, what i meant by that was i was expecting that to be final contact with her before deleting the number all together and seriously honestly thought she should know what could be found with what she gave me for her own safety. I had hinted at doing this in an earlier post as well. all i did was plug in her first name her town and facebook on google and got a link on a telephone directory guide all i was looking for was a fb account for a name confirmation got more than that in the results and thought she should know that's it. In this contact i also thanked her for the other night that i'd probably never see her again, and i would not contact her if she didn't want me to

    Also clearly i listened to what all of you were saying and thought i was in fact ending contact, however i took advice from another forum and they said to tell her the truth so i did i balanced the two to the best of my ability.

    And i do tend to avoid clubs for financial purposes and have never had this problem before I handled it the same way as always I was simply not exposed to this type of manipulation. The what if kills me. If i had just walked away this never would have happened but i decided to roll the dice and see what she wanted from me the irony was i was trying not to look like or feel like a fool i clearly failed at that.

    i also don't expect to hear from her IF i decide to take one last swing at meeting her and she declines i will delete her number

  10. #33
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    ^^ They never hear the truth Jay, no matter how obvious- they tell themselves what they want and believe what they want because facing reality is entirely too bleak.
    I know, it's the looking her up online bit that's beyond comprehension for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    I am aware I'm very stupid (hindsight), went back and forth about telling her if it wasn't her real name its 100% a hustle and i never would have contacted her, and this occurred before i posted here. It may be flawed but there is logic there.

    But like i said when i contacted her I was not expecting a response, what i meant by that was i was expecting that to be final contact with her before deleting the number all together and seriously honestly thought she should know what could be found with what she gave me for her own safety. I had hinted at doing this in an earlier post as well. all i did was plug in her first name her town and facebook on google and got a link on a telephone directory guide all i was looking for was a fb account for a name confirmation got more than that in the results and thought she should know that's it. In this contact i also thanked her for the other night that i'd probably never see her again, and i would not contact her if she didn't want me to

    Also clearly i listened to what all of you were saying and thought i was in fact ending contact, however i took advice from another forum and they said to tell her the truth so i did i balanced the two to the best of my ability.

    And i do tend to avoid clubs for financial purposes and have never had this problem before I handled it the same way as always I was simply not exposed to this type of manipulation. The what if kills me. If i had just walked away this never would have happened but i decided to roll the dice and see what she wanted from me the irony was i was trying not to look like or feel like a fool i clearly failed at that.

    i also don't expect to hear from her IF i decide to take one last swing at meeting her and she declines i will delete her number
    Oh ffs. You want one last swing at meeting her for what? So you can rape and strangle her? Because I'm sure that's what she'd be thinking. If it's not, she's just as stupid. Clearly you're deaf because clearly, you're still not comprehending what you're reading here. Have fun.
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    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
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  12. #34
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    also if i go to the club (not expecting to anytime soon) but if I do in the next few months should I contact her before going?
    Yes...I would certainly text her and let her know before you go to the club. That way...she can change plans at the last minute to be with her other friend whose father passed away and not be there when you show up.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    I know, it's the looking her up online bit that's beyond comprehension for me.



    Oh ffs. You want one last swing at meeting her for what? So you can rape and strangle her? Because I'm sure that's what she'd be thinking. If it's not, she's just as stupid. Clearly you're deaf because clearly, you're still not comprehending what you're reading here. Have fun.
    Jay, I would say the looking up & then throwing it in her face, as if to say"I know who you are" not only looks desperate but major creeper.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    *note: I handle situations this bad with all women not just this one and I'm usually very unsure of when to contact or how much never want to over do it.
    We already figured this out long ago.

    So here is your "to do" list:

    1. Stay the hell away from this girl. Seriously. No text, no call, no club. Delete her number, crush your phone, do whatever you must do to get rid of all information you have on her. Just disappear.

    2. Stop repeating nonsensical bullshit in your head that makes you think -- against all advice by everybody in this forum -- that this girl gives a shit. She doesn't. She never did. Not for one second. She was working. At her job. You work retail, she works at the club. Part of her job is to tell you constant lies about how hot you are, and to give you her number to get you to come in and spend more. She does this with everybody. Every customer. Every single one.

    3. Most of all, there was never any "what if." None. Zero. It never existed except when you decided to dream it up yourself, based on your own inexplicable delirium.

    Final caution: You crossed a serious line with the online stalking. I know you don't see it that way because you think of yourself as harmless. The problem is that she doesn't know that -- and it's not something you can tell her or explain to her, so for God's sake please don't try -- and right now you are one big flashing DANGER sign to her. That is a fact, and one you will never be able to change.

    If you take nothing else from this message, please take this -- just stop. STOP. Any action you take -- and I mean ANY action -- just makes things worse.

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    Tired Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Ok, this will most likely be my final post on this thread, first I do appreciate your advice but as i said this was not the first place i posted this question i did a google search for similar situations and found another forum first the advice there was to contact her a few days later which I did in this and they also rec'd finding her on fb to see if she was who she said it was this was clearly bad advice in hindsight but all I was looking for was a conformation that she was being honest and stumbled upon her name somewhere else in the process I told her this because i thought she should know some one is putting her info on the web (wouldn't you want to know I know I would) this was not intentional cyber stalking and i fear it looks worse than my intentions really were. this is what i sent her, aware of how i would look and not expecting to hear back.

    sorry this is far to long lol. alright i can take the hint, you are good at your job and probably have a bf. i don't blame you honestly. i would like to apologize for kissing your neck unsolicited you shouldn't have to deal with pigs like me doing that. I hope you do end up going back to school you're clearly a smart girl. I'll leave you alone now and don't worry about seeing me at the club like i said i've only been there once before. thank you for the chance to spend the night with a beautiful girl I enjoyed your company and in the one percent chance what you said was genuine feel free to hmu. Just a final word of caution don't tell people your real name i searched for your fb page through google and found an uncomfortable amount of info in the process. just be safe sorry for blowing up your phone and thanks for tolerating me the other night.

    I wasn't trying to get back at her I just looked into her before texting her. that is a fairly common practice as said above everyone googles everyone also as i said numerous times i thought she should know. Female friends of mine said it was probably the right thing to do now they know me as a person and you don't so i don't blame you for finding it creepy but my intent here was always to find out her most likely motive and work from there protect myself by not going to see her at a club and if that's not what she wanted oh well at least i tried, never know unless you try (the most common advice i heard pertaining to this).

    I also apologized on the phone and again via text for not trusting her in the first place the fact that she contacted me again doesn't sit well with me because in hindsight if i were her i wouldn't feel to comfortable with me right now either. Now i could have just kept quite and she would never know what was posted about her but now she does i hope she acts accordingly and gets rid of it.I also immediately gave my name and place of residence it wasn't like I'm hiding from her that would be more wrong. I acknowledge that some of you hold reservations but i just did the same thing companies do when they hire just trying to find out who i was dealing with.

    How we exchanged numbers has been lost in the wash here it wasn't her giving me a number she said we should have coffee, i said I'll give you my number not intending to but after the dance as i was about to leave she asked for it again, then I'll just give you mine, text me your name, it didn't feel like she was working me although i was aware that it was a possibility. If she never gave me the number i never would have asked her name she would have been just her stripper name and that was ok with me. After realizing i was likely being worked I just wanted to know what and who I was dealing with before trying to talk to her again.

    As far as how people are reacting to this i feel honesty is the best policy i hope you can see i had no intentions of frightening her and she was more concerned about what info than what i did when we spoke. I would never ever hurt a woman and don't associate with men that do. Once again thank you for reading this and offering insight/berating me however my only question is why should i just let someone try to hustle me that was not what i was looking for i was not looking for someone to kiss me or give me their number all i wanted was a dance and the company of a pretty girl, if you are gonna try to mess with my reality without me starting it why should I have just let it be I know that would have been bigger of me but i would have been more likely to come back without her number once i had it she ceased to be just a stripper/fantasy and became someone i hoped to interact with again. Like i said i'm young dumb and inexperienced as far a strip clubs and have become aware that i didn't tip to well either i did not know the expectations you all have I do know that i was the only one who was there and I thought there was a glimmer of a chance if that makes me anything other than a sad lonely mess in your eyes so be it but my intentions were always to try to know her not to hook up not to just be a customer and I'll find out if she feels the same way if i get a text from a number i don't recognize she does if i don't she doesn't and I'm ok with that and it's her choice in the unlikely event she does so i hope you all can deal with that too.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Just to make this clear I will not contact her again its up to her. I know that you all think it will happen and i don't expect it at all I'm just going to try to forget what happened which won't be easy if i contracted herpes from her lol

  18. #39
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Yoda and/or Unbelievable: Please, delete this thread and ban this guy please!





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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    Ok, this will most likely be my final post on this thread, first I do appreciate your advice but as i said this was not the first place i posted this question i did a google search for similar situations and found another forum first the advice there was to contact her a few days later which I did in this and they also rec'd finding her on fb to see if she was who she said it was this was clearly bad advice in hindsight but all I was looking for was a conformation that she was being honest and stumbled upon her name somewhere else in the process I told her this because i thought she should know some one is putting her info on the web (wouldn't you want to know I know I would) this was not intentional cyber stalking and i fear it looks worse than my intentions really were. this is what i sent her, aware of how i would look and not expecting to hear back.

    sorry this is far to long lol. alright i can take the hint, you are good at your job and probably have a bf. i don't blame you honestly. i would like to apologize for kissing your neck unsolicited you shouldn't have to deal with pigs like me doing that. I hope you do end up going back to school you're clearly a smart girl. I'll leave you alone now and don't worry about seeing me at the club like i said i've only been there once before. thank you for the chance to spend the night with a beautiful girl I enjoyed your company and in the one percent chance what you said was genuine feel free to hmu. Just a final word of caution don't tell people your real name i searched for your fb page through google and found an uncomfortable amount of info in the process. just be safe sorry for blowing up your phone and thanks for tolerating me the other night.

    I wasn't trying to get back at her I just looked into her before texting her. that is a fairly common practice as said above everyone googles everyone also as i said numerous times i thought she should know. Female friends of mine said it was probably the right thing to do now they know me as a person and you don't so i don't blame you for finding it creepy but my intent here was always to find out her most likely motive and work from there protect myself by not going to see her at a club and if that's not what she wanted oh well at least i tried, never know unless you try (the most common advice i heard pertaining to this).

    I also apologized on the phone and again via text for not trusting her in the first place the fact that she contacted me again doesn't sit well with me because in hindsight if i were her i wouldn't feel to comfortable with me right now either. Now i could have just kept quite and she would never know what was posted about her but now she does i hope she acts accordingly and gets rid of it.I also immediately gave my name and place of residence it wasn't like I'm hiding from her that would be more wrong. I acknowledge that some of you hold reservations but i just did the same thing companies do when they hire just trying to find out who i was dealing with.

    How we exchanged numbers has been lost in the wash here it wasn't her giving me a number she said we should have coffee, i said I'll give you my number not intending to but after the dance as i was about to leave she asked for it again, then I'll just give you mine, text me your name, it didn't feel like she was working me although i was aware that it was a possibility. If she never gave me the number i never would have asked her name she would have been just her stripper name and that was ok with me. After realizing i was likely being worked I just wanted to know what and who I was dealing with before trying to talk to her again.

    As far as how people are reacting to this i feel honesty is the best policy i hope you can see i had no intentions of frightening her and she was more concerned about what info than what i did when we spoke. I would never ever hurt a woman and don't associate with men that do. Once again thank you for reading this and offering insight/berating me however my only question is why should i just let someone try to hustle me that was not what i was looking for i was not looking for someone to kiss me or give me their number all i wanted was a dance and the company of a pretty girl, if you are gonna try to mess with my reality without me starting it why should I have just let it be I know that would have been bigger of me but i would have been more likely to come back without her number once i had it she ceased to be just a stripper/fantasy and became someone i hoped to interact with again. Like i said i'm young dumb and inexperienced as far a strip clubs and have become aware that i didn't tip to well either i did not know the expectations you all have I do know that i was the only one who was there and I thought there was a glimmer of a chance if that makes me anything other than a sad lonely mess in your eyes so be it but my intentions were always to try to know her not to hook up not to just be a customer and I'll find out if she feels the same way if i get a text from a number i don't recognize she does if i don't she doesn't and I'm ok with that and it's her choice in the unlikely event she does so i hope you all can deal with that too.
    Ummm....what?

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Just, it would be helpful for the readers if you broke up your run-on sentences a bit as you are trying to cram too much into too many of them. A transitional word or phrase here and there might also be nice, or perhaps even more liberal use of commas in the right places, but of course I don't want to set the bar too high.

    If any of this is real, which it may be...

    She ran her hustle the way she did in order to make you feel exactly the way you did. Look at how much time you have already spent thinking about her and analyzing the whole thing. And her followup texting, which she has probably done with dozens of guys, is designed to entice you to visit again and spend more on her, period.

    Shake it off already. When you step back and see the effect that your one visit and her followup texts have had on you, you will eventually understand that she knows exactly what she is doing and there is nothing "illogical" about it. I am betting that the only reason she doesn't have more of your money in her pocket already is that you cannot afford to give her much more.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    Yoda and/or Unbelievable: Please, delete this thread and ban this guy please!
    This is Customer Convo section & he hasn't broken any rules yet, he needs to grow up a bit but hasn't been rude to anybody here. I will say, he should change his name because he isn't wondering anymore....lol

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    I will say, he should change his name because he isn't wondering anymore....lol
    LOL - exactly. However, this afflication is not uncommon and I would bet a dollar against a dime that he is still nursing some small hope that everyone here is wrong. After all, he is no doubt thinking, how could all of that have just been an act when it felt so unique and so real?

    But outside of giving him crap for his lazy writing style, I'm having trouble being too hard on him. Most seasoned blues did not become so without experiencing something like this at least once. In fact, the types of issues inherent in hanging out in a local club and getting to know any one girl too well are exactly what led me to keeping my game primarily on the road for many years, which was not hard given how much I have traveled.

    Now in my 40s, I find seduction hustles more amusing than anything and I have other life circumstances that would limit how stupid I'd ever get with any dancer even if the age difference did not make the situation obvious. However, when I was single and in my late 20s and even early 30s, I will readily admit that I was a bit more susceptible to strong seduction hustles and, though I never went quite as far as the OP did, I can understand how it happened.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 03-18-2012 at 06:49 AM.

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  26. #44
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Probably just doing her job and collecting numbers so that she can get you to come back when she's working again. You'll know in the next few weeks if you get a message that says, "Hey I'm at work, come see me"

    However, if the club you're in isn't typically a high contact makeout type of club it's possible that she was drunk or stoned and in the moment was really into you. Since she didn't txt you back the next day she was probably embarrassed or ashamed and won't talk to you again.


    I

    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Whoa So wait.


    You were told to leave it alone and wait til you could go in again and you then do the "Whaa Whaaa I'm a big baby" Ohh since you're not answering I'll leave you alone " text ooh and btw " I know who you are BITCH!!!!"


    Yeah you're the type that I'd like to beat the shit out of. You ungrateful little....See and this is why the dancers can't stand your type. Hell this why most women will cut you the fuck off. You push boundaries when you can't get your way and then throw it in her face?


    Please just stick to porn and your hand and leave women alone. You don't know how to respect them at all. The one you met gave you more than what you were even paying for and treated you like a king and you do this to her?


    So your crappy day turns into a nice one and you try to put your shit on someone else. Nice.


    This is a great lesson for her too. She will starting giving out fake number or numbers to a prepaid cell that rarely ever gets paid.


    Or would you like someone hitting up your fb profile saying " hey dude I saw you paying to kiss a stripper, how lame are you that you can't get a REAL DATE?? hahah loser!!!". <---This is exactly what would happen to you if someone "found out your info". Respect of privacy goes both ways and you ruined her trust in you. Nice move there.


    Again she gave you a contact number. You contact her to find out when she'll be working at the club again. That was it's only purpose.


    But ooh a stripper is going to run off and quit for me without any money because of course I'm a struggling student and I'm 260 lbs too.


    If you wanted an honest experience you would have gone to a regular bar and approached women the normal way and normally gotten shot down. I mean are you comfortable being 260 lbs? Are you dating women that are 260lbs? You could have easily spent the night at the gym right?


    But you didn't want that right? That would have made you feel more like shit but instead wanted to pay for some attention from a beautiful thin woman. You got more than what you paid for and now she's the villain?


    Unbelievable!


    Btw I don't think you should be banned but you name gets me so angry because she did her job and now she's being attacked for it. I will thank you for teaching her a valuable lesson though. This extra aggravation that she received from you will make her change her means of contact with SC customers in the future. Bravo!

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    Just to make this clear I will not contact her again its up to her. I know that you all think it will happen and i don't expect it at all I'm just going to try to forget what happened which won't be easy if i contracted herpes from her lol
    I am curious, which club does she work at?

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    Just to make this clear I will not contact her again its up to her. I know that you all think it will happen and i don't expect it at all I'm just going to try to forget what happened which won't be easy if i contracted herpes from her lol
    That right there tells me you're fucking delusional.

    And why would you contract herpes?? Bc we're all dirty whores? And this is someone you're still obsessed with hearing from, even though that's how you now think of her? Dude, now I agree with a PP that asked for you to be banned. SMFH. She did her JOB. Get the fuck over it. The only blamable person in this entire situation is YOU.
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I'm over it. i'm really just here now because i am curious a to see what you all thought of my full context.

    First of all jayatee earlier in the post a few people suggested i use mouth wash because i probably wasn't the only guy to kiss her that night. It was a joke relax

    Second cherryblossominspring

    I don't think you will understand this but when i wrote that text (just after posting here the first time) I wasn't trying to scare her i wasn't and you can take all the unsolicited shots at my weight and whatever else you want but my intentions weren't mean spirited. I understand in retrospect how they look but I wasn't trying to get even i wasn't i was trying my best to severe contact and protect myself from myself. I was also not really thinking about pushing boundaries I was trying to say I'm not interested in being your customer if you were really interested in me let me know (I know you feel I should have never held out hope for that possibility but if i didn't i wouldn't be giving her the benefit of the doubt). So when I contacted her after the initial hey and got no response from her again i sent that text to try to protect myself from being strung along because i knew i wouldn't be able to handle a business relationship with her. and because i felt that this girl was amazing i felt she at least deserved to know she should protect herself more.

    The lesson for her i agree 100% that was what i was trying to convey I'm not out to hurt her but if someone was they probably could. I why would i post in here that i was trying to scare another dancer that would be unbelievably stupid as based upon the venom spewed by some of you any way. I was trying to provide the full context of what i said it wasn't supposed to look the way it did I thought she should know what was available for her own safety sorry if that seems creepy i was trying to do the right thing that I would want done for me.

    In hindsight I'm an idiot and as i said I have apologized to this girl immediately after that text when we talked ( and i realized what it looked like i was doing). I also was stupid/naive enough to not understand it was a supposed to be business contact. and when did i say anything about her quitting i never mentioned anything along those lines. I simply wish her the same thing i wish upon my brother that they return to school and set up a future beyond the age of forty because she obviously can't dance forever.

    As far as an honest experience I wanted to see a pretty girl naked, she gave more than that and like i said the phone number blurred what had previously been an act of fantasy and put a decidedly more real place in my mind. Which i approached with the fear of missing out on the possibility of something special. My previous experience at strip clubs had been fine usually the interaction is complete fallacy here i saw bits and pieces of the real girl here and there and i liked what I saw sorry for taking an interest in what was behind the act. I understand that you all seem to want me to just let her try to work me over for all I was willing to give. But I was not interested in a "club relationship" and tried to say I'm only interested in seeing you if you are interested in me.

    And as for when i leave a club i feel like a complete scumbag that is so pathetic that he had to pay for the company of woman who had no interest in me at all. She left me with a different feeling that I didn't know what to do with and that i wanted to be real perhaps I am guilty of wanting it too bad but It would have bothered me more if i had never tried. Maybe you can't relate to what I felt but i hope you can.

    Now the found out my info statement I GAVE HER MINE she can do whatever she wants with it i didn't post anything about her i didn't friend request her i was just looking for a name and face that matched the one she gave me if i couldn't find it i wouldn't have bothered talking to her why bother if shes not who she said she was. And you can continue to take all the shots at me you want because really you seem to be grinding a larger axe than for someone you have never met. I don't really care what you think of me. I respect the dancers as people maybe you should view your customers as such as well if you really feel there losers why dance you wouldn't profit without them.

    Seriously more shots at the weight, that's kinda petty clearly you are just trying to bully me off the board but if you haven't learned anything from this it's that i tend to stand up for myself, i have been nothing but honest and respectful here and I see what i did wrong now to break trust or possibly frighten (once again not my intent).

    And finally as for the i don't respect women comment here's the deal I'm scared of women what they think of me how they judge me the power that you have over my mind and body with nothing more than the right words. I have anxiety issues and can be socially awkward and am not the most socially experienced person. I resent this statement because this is beyond a shot at me but a shot at the people who raised me. I doubt you will believe that i meant no harm from what i did but it was not well thought out and that's where the problem was but to think i viewed her as anything less than an amazing person is so short sighted I liked this girl i wasn't trying to hook up with her but rather get to know her. You know, like i would if i had an amazing convo at a bar. I'm sorry i was too dumb not to realize the full extent of the situation but i initiated contact with her a whole three times before giving up and realizing i had made an ass of myself.

    I felt a click talking to her now I know that I was probably too naive to realize it was part of the game at the time. But what i felt was real, whether it was enhanced artificially or not i knew what i felt. If I didn't like and respect who she was I never would have been here would I. As far as how i contacted her i waited 2 days to initiate contact no response 2 days later i tried again and then tried to stop the charade as pointed out above.

    So reload and take some more shots if you want but I know i didn't have malicious intentions when i sent what i did, You are free to believe whatever you want but I know what i was trying to do.


    Safado, I won't say out of respect for her privacy.

    and finally thank you rick for understanding as she played me where i was most vulnerable, but ultimately she played me too well fyi never posted anything this long in a forum before sorry for the writing style.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Dude...ask a question, get an answer, go on with your life.

    Read that again, and again, and again.

    Do you understand yet?

    Not only have you dragged out the situation with the dancer you have talked about, but you've done the same here. Stop trying to rationalize what happened at the club and your actions since. The more you do it the creepier you look and sound.

    Now read the post again.

    Got it?
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I'm not 100% sure you would understand what I wrote above so I'm adding this reminder:







    Put down the mouse and step away from the keyboard!
    I'm almost perfect, some of the time

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