View Poll Results: What do you think her motives were

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  • Just doing her job

    38 95.00%
  • Intersted in me

    1 2.50%
  • Other off the clock intentions

    1 2.50%
  • From the heat of the moment

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Thread: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

  1. #51
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    justwondering, after posting earlier, I've been watching this interaction for a while, not really feeling the need to say anything else since I've agreed with the others. But it's clear from your last, verbose post that well, a) this is all real and b) you've been spun around like a top on a merry-go-round.

    As Yoda, Rick, AGT have said previously, it happens to everyone - vets, newbs, everyone. Myself, included. In fact, one of the primary reasons I joined this site less than year ago was to a) learn about a dancer's motivations, b) learn how to be a better customer in general and c) how to enjoy this skill that is SC-going. Because it is a skill if you want to maximize your enjoyment and respect the dancers simultaneously. We're guys, we're dense, so this shit don't come easy. It's even worse for guys like you. More on this in a second...

    You'll find a wealth of knowledge here that surpasses anywhere else - do yourself a favor and look up how many times a customer has wandered in here and said, "My situation's unique - she really likes me." 1% of the time, on a very, very rare occasion, like winning-the-lottery-odds, it is unique. But most of the time, the majority of the time, it's not. It's the same tale - guy gets seduction hustled, gets spun in little circles and doesn't know he's gone all Inception, living a dream within a dream within a dream. And that dream ends the minute you walk out the door, only you don't know it. You want to think, "I'm the 1%," when instead, you should be thinking, "I need proof that I'm not the 99%."

    Okay, back to you. You said you don't have a lot of experience with women. I believe it, and I give you props for saying so. But that only makes this hustle all the worse on you. As far as I can guess, it's a pretty rare thing to a) have a woman be physically intimate with you and b) have that kind of affection and attention showered on you. Add the fact that you are a new-comer to SC's... well, it's a fucking lethal combo. Your brain goes: "Hey, the physical touching/kissing is there and the affectionate words are there - why wouldn't this be real?" And you don't have the SC experience yet to realize/warn you that it's not. Not at all.

    Keep this in mind: if it was real, she'd be pursuing you like you want to pursue her.

    This is what I meant when I said instead of looking for ways to prove that you're the 1%, look for ways to disprove that you're the 99%. You start from a place of 'it's not real,' unless all the factors involved move you to place of 'it's real.' It'll be fucking obvious. I'm serious. If you have to ask, it's a 'no' - good rule stated by AGT, Yoda, etc.

    Part II

    Now, onto your pursuit of her. This has nothing to do with SC-going. Just something I gotta say to you (again, more on this in a minute). Let's say she really was into you (she's not, but I'm just using this for the sake of this post) - I don't want to see you fuck that up if/when the time comes, whether it be with a dancer or a civilian. Number one rule: DON'T BE CREEPY. No matter how good your intentions are, don't do anything that could even be remotely interpreted as creepy... like looking her up online and then telling her about it.

    Go watch SWINGERS. Watch the scene when Jon Favreau calls the girl at the bar a zillion times after she gets her number. This is so fucking painful to watch because, I'd be willing to bet, every guy has done this at least once. I did it when I was 15 - and it was so painful, I remember it like it was fucking yesterday. I realized after it was over, holy shit, I must look like a stalker, pathetic and fucking creepy. But I know my intentions weren't terrible - I was just a socially awkward, lovesick kid who didn't know any better. Some things never change But back to you --

    I want you to know better.

    My 15-year old self is reaching out to you ---- don't do that again. EVER. Discipline yourself. If you meet a girl, and you get her number, email, whatever, send a simple, 1-2 line email. Great meeting you, you seem cool, would love to grab coffee or whatever. Keep it short and simple. If she responds, great! If she doesn't... wait a few days, then try one more time. That's it. If she doesn't respond, let it go. Don't do anything. NOTHING. Don't let thoughts of, "Maybe she lost the text" or "Maybe she erased it by accident," or "Maybe it ended up in her spam folder." No. If after two emails/texts, you get nothing, she's not interested. Plain and simple. And trust me, you want to find someone who's interested in you for you. Hold your head up, say 'fuck it,' and move on.

    I don't think you're a bad guy. Just a little clueless due to lack of experience. Nothing wrong with that UNLESS you don't make an effort to learn from your mistakes.

    So read the threads in this forum to glean as much as you can about SCing. And maybe stay out of the club until you're sure you can switch the fantasy on and off. And go watch SWINGERS

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  3. #52
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Thank you for the insightful post, My intent here was not to carry on the situation in this board it, my last two posts I was trying to defend my intentions. I was not thinking what could be considered creepy when i sent that and only realized after she replied. You also seem to understand where my head was at as opposed to the other posters who seem fancy me some kind of monster, all I have been trying to prove these past two days is show I meant her no harm it was mot intended to be a malicious act I was like Lenny with the rabbit I was squeezing to hard I understand that now. Thank you for the advice

  4. #53
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Just, the more you try to "defend your intentions" the creepier this becomes. Every post lays out yet more desperation, self loathing and what seems to be a fixation upon this girl.

    And stop denying that you are fixated already. Thou doth protest too much. But she is never going to text you back and she has no interest in your help, protection, advice or whatever else you are offering and she never did, period. You were a wallet to her, nothing more.

    You went to a strip club and you got hustled - that is the only lesson here. Because of your loniliness and general self loathing, her treatment of you made you feel very good and you got hooked on her a bit. Shake it off cowboy. She did the same thing with 20 other guys during the same week, the only difference is that those other guys took it in stride and walked away, while you are still messed up. IMHO you really need to stay out of strip clubs.

    People keep mentioning your weight not because they are mean spirited, but because the answer to your loniliness is not a strip club, but rather doing things to improve yourself and make yourself more attractive to females. Don't you have a campus gym? A pool? What else can you do to improve yourself? IMHO you need to get out of your own head, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take some control instead.

    Anyway, I'm done with this. You've been told what happened by dancers and seasoned SC customers and there is really nothing more to add.

  5. #54
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by All Good Things View Post
    She gave you her number (it's a business # for customers, not her "real" number) to get you back into the club to spend on her.
    this x1000000.
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
    you just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I've always been perplexed by the way strippers exchange numbers but then never follow up. If they want me to come back to the club, then just having my number won't make it happen. They've actually got to contact me to remind me. Or are they expecting me to contact them, as in "I'm planning to come to this club tonight, will you be there?".

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by RedDragon View Post
    Or are they expecting me to contact them, as in "I'm planning to come to this club tonight, will you be there?".
    Well, Duh.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I'm so surprised that guys still fall for this tactic.

  9. #58
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    so can you girls tell me how does a client go about seeing you outside of your work for coffee entertainment or maybe a relationship or sexual relationship or what have you?

  10. #59
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by themorningsun View Post
    so can you girls tell me how does a client go about seeing you outside of your work for coffee entertainment or maybe a relationship or sexual relationship or what have you?
    If you want a date, dont come to a strip club. We are there working.
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
    you just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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  12. #60
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    Jay, I would say the looking up & then throwing it in her face, as if to say"I know who you are" not only looks desperate but major creeper.
    This times a fucking THOUSAND. Ugh. I'd be so fucking creeped out. If she's nice to you from now on, it might be partially out of fear of you getting mad and freaking out/"researching" her more

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  14. #61
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by themorningsun View Post
    so can you girls tell me how does a client go about seeing you outside of your work for coffee entertainment or maybe a relationship or sexual relationship or what have you?
    How do you go about asking any woman that you are interested in out for coffee or Sex? Dancers are women just like any other. The problem is that too many guys assume that, because she is working in an environment that requires her to act socially, dancers are somehow looking for dates or are available for sex. They are, in most cases, not. They are working. You can always roll the dice and ask-the same way you would ask a waitress or any other woman while she is at work.

    What has worked for me over the years is getting to know a dancer by becoming a good spending regular, gaining her trust by not gossiping about her or wasting her time at work and being patient. Don't assume that her job makes her somehow more available than any other occupation would. Honestly, would you approach a cashier in a coffee shop and ask if she was available for a "sexual relationship"?
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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  16. #62
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by justwondering View Post
    I have anxiety issues and can be socially awkward and am not the most socially experienced person.
    Ahhhh that might be the understatement of the year. You went to a SC, kissed a bit (I don't even think I believe this), and exchanged numbers. You continually texted and looked up her info on the internet after experienced individuals told you the truth of a hustle. The fact of the matter is, if you aren't trolling, you're quite....well....simply point, the reason Strippers make good money and at times have to be escorted to their cars. What's even more worrying is you received info on what occurred and you still acted in a very strange manor. That's a bit mental.

    Relax on the scenarios in your head and think logically. 90% sure of a situation clearly isn't a enough for you. Think 100% next time.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Justwondering, don't feel too bad. You sound like a very logical, left brain, analytical kind of guy. Here is what I think: the girl may have really enjoyed being with you for the duration she was with you. Who said we can't enjoy our clients? It's just that this doesn't carry on outside the club. Things are comartmentalized.
    Ive genuinely liked clients before but I wouldn't want to date them. I always feel bad if my sincere interest in what he says (platonic) gets misconstrued and exaggerated in the guy's own mind. I just want to be myself without worrying that if I'm "too nice" my client may think I had special feelings for him. Speaking for myself, its not my intention to hustle when I am being nice and attentive. It makes things not fun for all when over analyzing occurs. In this type of environment, just keep it fun for everyone. Sounds like the girl kept it real by telling you her real name but it doesn't translate to an interest outside the club,

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  19. #64
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by themorningsun View Post
    so can you girls tell me how does a client go about seeing you outside of your work for coffee entertainment or maybe a relationship or sexual relationship or what have you?
    Meet me somewhere besides work.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by angelina View Post
    Justwondering, don't feel too bad. You sound like a very logical, left brain, analytical kind of guy. Here is what I think: the girl may have really enjoyed being with you for the duration she was with you. Who said we can't enjoy our clients? It's just that this doesn't carry on outside the club. Things are comartmentalized.
    And also remember there is no sign outside the club saying "everything here is genuine and true". You pay girls to talk to you or dance for you or whatever. You pay them to pretend they enjoy it. If you watch a movie you don't assume everything is true either. So why do you believe everything you see in a strip club is for real? It's just entertainment. You are paying to be entertained. I've had girls talk real B$ to me before. I usually go along with it. It's all part of the game. I don't even know whether they honestly believed I believe them. Does it matter? I also had many conversations that I felt were honest and heartfelt and that touched me in some way. I've even had deeply philosophical discussions. I took all of those seriously and enjoyed them. But maybe those girls were B$itting me too. Maybe they were just better at acting and pretending. What is real and what isn't? One girl once asked me for advice for an essay she was writing on French literature and we talked about it for a long time and I really enjoyed it. I thought that was cool and it earned her a nice tip. I don't think she was B$itting but if she was, I still had a good time and she made some money so fair is fair. At the end of the day your guess is as good as mine. To me, that's all part of the fun. But you have no right ever and at all to assume that anything anybody tells you is true (except when it comes to prices). Not too long ago I was a approached by a girl who I hadn't seen in more than a year, and she remembered my name. That made me feel good, seeing she remembered me. But maybe it was a trick. Maybe one of the other girls told her. I'll never know. But it doesn't matter. It's entertainment. It's not for real. You know, David Copperfield doesn't do real magic either. It's all tricks. But the people still love it. So stop thinking too much and chill out and have fun.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    People get way too hostile over threads like these. It's fun reading the experiences of others. Sure, give your honest opinion if you must but screaming for the OP to be banned, making fun of his weight and/or accusing him of being a potential rapist is taking things just a bit too seriously IMO.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by stawj View Post
    People get way too hostile over threads like these. It's fun reading the experiences of others. Sure, give your honest opinion if you must but screaming for the OP to be banned, making fun of his weight and/or accusing him of being a potential rapist is taking things just a bit too seriously IMO.
    Umm no. A background check on a stripper screams stalker, not overreaction by other strippers about your retarded actions. Only someone who isn't in the business would say something like this because you're incapable of understanding the real fear we ALL have of someone/something like this. This isn't a joke. It's our lives. It's our kids lives. Our SO's lives. Behind every dancer persona is a real person.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
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  27. #68
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    Umm no. A background check on a stripper screams stalker, not overreaction by other strippers about your retarded actions. Only someone who isn't in the business would say something like this because you're incapable of understanding the real fear we ALL have of someone/something like this. This isn't a joke. It's our lives. It's our kids lives. Our SO's lives. Behind every dancer persona is a real person.
    Don't be to hard on him Jay, he likes reading posts like this to confirm his status in the club.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable View Post
    Don't be to hard on him Jay, he likes reading posts like this to confirm his status in the club.
    Huh?

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    justwondering, I am just wondering whether you have deleted the dancer's number and scrubbed your Internet history and favorites. Throw away the pics of her and any intel you have kept.

    DELETE it now.

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by stawj View Post
    People get way too hostile over threads like these. It's fun reading the experiences of others. Sure, give your honest opinion if you must but screaming for the OP to be banned, making fun of his weight and/or accusing him of being a potential rapist is taking things just a bit too seriously IMO.


    Get it?

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    I look at it like fairy dust: it can result in things that feel magical, amazing, fun; it can make you feel younger, and forget your troubles, but it only works in Never Never Land. Once you're back on earth, outside in the cold air, you're just a regular person again, and anything that you thought was real, was nothing more than fantasy.

    You can't apply deep, heartfelt emotions to it, justwondering, because they're not real. Oh, I'm sure she was nice, she was playful, all these things that made you feel great, but she was just doing her job. You're mistaking a professional transaction for personal attraction, and that's a big mistake. Her job is to make you feel like a million bucks, and to get paid for making you feel that way. She's a bit like a therapist; a hot, sexy therapist that sits on your lap, but that's as far as it goes.

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  33. #73
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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post


    Get it?
    ...LOL

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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    This thread made me think of this video clip.


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    Default Re: Dancer gave me her phone number? motivations

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I'm so surprised that guys still fall for this tactic.
    The players change, but the game remains the same.

    I am sure that all of us have seen this play out over and over in clubs far and wide. Heck, just in the past year, I saw two funny instances of this: (1) one guy was sobbing "please don't break up with me" while he was getting what would be his last lapdances from his intended bride; and (2) a guy that spent everything he had, including his credit card limits, chasing one girl's affections until he could spend no more, at which point he actually took a job at the same club as a bar back!

    IDK, but I believe that as long as there continue to be fresh batches of young and lonely guys with money to spend and dancers able and willing to run seduction hustles, that this will be an ever present part of the club scene.

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