Just a little vent here. This has been going on for so long that I have ran out of people to talk to about it, even my family.
My brother suffers from mental disorders (bi-polar, scizo, ect) as well as an extreme addiction to drugs and alcohol. He hears voices, suffers from constant withdrawls, paranoia ect ect. He lives on the streets and travels around simply aimlessly. He has been in and out of rehab, jail, aa, ect ect. He has been suffering from extreme drug abuse since he was 11. He is almost 24 now. He has a 2nd grade education. My mother kept him out of school. And that is a whole nother story.
He simply showed up on my front porch on sunday (I am posting this on Friday) out of no where. No call, no email, no fb, no nothing. He lives out of state, so him being here was a surprise. I gave him some food, about $10 in change and a bottle of water. Then this afternoon while working on my homework, he creeps up to my window. He looked tired and he smelled SOOOOOOOOO bad. I have smelt homeless BO but nothin like that before. Now seeing him like this absolutely breaks my heart. He is such a good man. He has had moments of sobriety and when he is on his meds and his is one of the best men I have ever known.
So to the part with the cops.... I would not give him any money. I will now be an enabler, I felt guilty for helping him out when he first stopped by. He ended up getting angry with me and saying crazy stuff about the "mofia" "CIA" "FBI" blah blah. And then he ended up leaving. About an hour later he showed back up. Saying he needed help but he will not go to treatment. And that is the ONLY help I will give him. He refused to leave, started to get angry (he has been physically violent in the past with both my mom and me). I threaten over and over again that I was going to call the cops if he didn't leave. Of course I didn't want to call the cops. Not only for his sake, but also my own with my neighbors (that and I have never met a good cop). I ended up calling the cops and they took him away, didn't arrest him but removed him from my property and told him not to come back.
I know that I made the right choice by not enabling him. I know that I will do whatever I have to to get him into treatment. But it is extremely hard to call 911 have have the Heat in your home regarding your only sibling's behavior. I want him better. And I want my Bro back. I love him so much. I had to do what I had to do. I made the right choice by calling and having him removed. I can only hope he gets help and realizes the consequences of his actions and we can one day be Bro and Sissy again. But after all these years I am losing hope.
If you read this thank you. If not, that's great too. I just had to get this out cause it eats me up.



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