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Thread: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

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    Default Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    Just a little vent here. This has been going on for so long that I have ran out of people to talk to about it, even my family.

    My brother suffers from mental disorders (bi-polar, scizo, ect) as well as an extreme addiction to drugs and alcohol. He hears voices, suffers from constant withdrawls, paranoia ect ect. He lives on the streets and travels around simply aimlessly. He has been in and out of rehab, jail, aa, ect ect. He has been suffering from extreme drug abuse since he was 11. He is almost 24 now. He has a 2nd grade education. My mother kept him out of school. And that is a whole nother story.

    He simply showed up on my front porch on sunday (I am posting this on Friday) out of no where. No call, no email, no fb, no nothing. He lives out of state, so him being here was a surprise. I gave him some food, about $10 in change and a bottle of water. Then this afternoon while working on my homework, he creeps up to my window. He looked tired and he smelled SOOOOOOOOO bad. I have smelt homeless BO but nothin like that before. Now seeing him like this absolutely breaks my heart. He is such a good man. He has had moments of sobriety and when he is on his meds and his is one of the best men I have ever known.

    So to the part with the cops.... I would not give him any money. I will now be an enabler, I felt guilty for helping him out when he first stopped by. He ended up getting angry with me and saying crazy stuff about the "mofia" "CIA" "FBI" blah blah. And then he ended up leaving. About an hour later he showed back up. Saying he needed help but he will not go to treatment. And that is the ONLY help I will give him. He refused to leave, started to get angry (he has been physically violent in the past with both my mom and me). I threaten over and over again that I was going to call the cops if he didn't leave. Of course I didn't want to call the cops. Not only for his sake, but also my own with my neighbors (that and I have never met a good cop). I ended up calling the cops and they took him away, didn't arrest him but removed him from my property and told him not to come back.

    I know that I made the right choice by not enabling him. I know that I will do whatever I have to to get him into treatment. But it is extremely hard to call 911 have have the Heat in your home regarding your only sibling's behavior. I want him better. And I want my Bro back. I love him so much. I had to do what I had to do. I made the right choice by calling and having him removed. I can only hope he gets help and realizes the consequences of his actions and we can one day be Bro and Sissy again. But after all these years I am losing hope.

    If you read this thank you. If not, that's great too. I just had to get this out cause it eats me up.

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    wow, that's really rough, hon.

    Unfortunately, with mental illness, no matter how much you want the "real" person to come out...sometimes the cards are just too stacked against some people with the genetic cards they were dealt, and how they grew up. Life's really unfair and that absolutely sucks because he probably could be a really awesome person

    I'm sorry that there's not really a "fix" of any kind. You did the right thing. You need to protect yourself and maybe at some point in the future, he'll have treatment and be able to have a better life with you in it.
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    Default Re: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    ^^Thank you for your support. I know there isn't anything I can do for him until he is ready to help himself. I had nightmares about him all night, which isn't entirely unusual. There is no getting through to him when he is like this. I just hope he doesn't die out there alone. I hope that by me saying "you need treatment" that it stuck somewhere in his mind and he gets a moment of clarity.

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    Default Re: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    The only thing I can suggest is that since he's probably going to pop in and catch you by surprise, to have a pack of things ready to give him so that you're not caught by surprise and have to go against your desire not to give him money.

    Perhaps a backpack with a blanket or a thrift store sleeping bag tied to it. Babywipes. Traveling toothbrush and toothpaste. Canned goods with the pop top, and dry ready to eat goods. And maybe some item like a favorite book, or something so that you show him you remember him. If you're worried about him dying, could you get a medical bracelet and engrave your phone number on it with the words In Case of Emergency? No guarantee he'll wear it, but if he did, and ended up in a hospital, they'd call? That's a lot of maybes but the only thing I can think of.

    That's not to say that he won't try to trade the stuff, but maybe it will help him for a night or two the next time he surprises you. Though, you definitely should call the cops again if he starts acting up again.

    You don't think he'd return and be immediately violent right off the bat, do you?
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    Default Re: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    I haven't heard from him this entire week. In fact no one has heard from him. He came down to my area in February last year. At that time I bought him all kinds of supplies, ie toothbrush, food, backpack, clean clothes, ect. I set him up with a bank account, shower, hair cut, po box, state health care. I set up a rehab place and a bed at the detox center.

    Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

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    Default Re: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    ^^^It sounds like this is a place you're very much familiar with, given your last post....

    All I can really say is you also sound like you are in a very healthy place, realizing the negative impact "enabling" can have. I have experience with family and exes with substance abuse issues and understanding how to identify and resist codependent behavior TRULY saved my life.

    I can only imagine how hard this is, but stay strong chica, you're on the right track.

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    Default Re: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    I'm in the SAME situation with my Mom, almost identical. Mental illness, alcohol addiction, abusive relationships, transient living, in and out of jail, emergency rooms, rehab, and psychiatric wards, refusing help, showing up randomly, always wanting something.

    Family members and I have had to get the police involved many times. We are refusing to help her now. This is still going on. You made the right choice by calling the police.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Had to call cops on Bro, again..

    Have you looked into involuntary commitment? Maybe he can be kept for a bit based on his psych issues and stabilized.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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