
Originally Posted by
Vederal
So it finally happened.
After having a very successful time working at a club, making money, paying off my debts, having the opportunities to grow personally and actually make plans for my future- my mother found out.
I grew confident, happy about my body and life, had money to hire a tutor to learn an instrument, participate in a sport, learn to draw. I was giving myself a life that I did not have because i grew up very poor, with my parents always working.
I was saving money to travel, and for law school.
In the end my mother being the little Sherlock Holmes that she is found out.
She became very suspicious, and did not believe anything that I told her- that I was a personal trainer (which i actually was part time)
So for the past 3 months she has been hounding me telling me she knows, is suspicious, wants me to come clean. I refused, telling her she was wrong. I did not want to be viewed poorly in my mothers eyes (even though nothing in this world satisfies her except to show off what I have achieved)
We are currently on a family vacation and she finally confronted me. Told me my stage name and said how she paid somebody to follow me and to take pictures of me at the club. How I need to stop or I lose her.
She kept saying I need to be normal and not a prostitute (even though I am a clean dancer) that no man will ever want me, and I will never go and finish my education.
I fessed up, told her that I have no regrets. That I am very happy with the life that this job made me. That i got to know some very incredible men, but also learned to stop being so green and innocent. I learned what men and the world were really like, and how to analyze and judge people. Also that I was not a prostitute but just a dancer.
Her retort to that was that all dancers become prostitutes and that I am disgusting. That all the men who go to these clubs are perverse, especially the ones that go to the private rooms.
She gave me an ultimatum, saying that I either quit or I lose her.
I chose not to quit. I dont doubt that I made the right choice. She doesnt even try to understand, and as much as I understand her view of the job due to society, stigma, dirty dancers, the movies, and double standards I dont agree.
She always puts me down and is unhappy because I am a bit of a rebel, always have been. That i am not like her friends robotic children who went to Ivy League schools, never talk back, and do what they are told when they are told.
My whole entire childhood she read my diaries, mentally assaulted me into thinking I need to be one way to be happy. When I just needed to be myself and I would not have had such confidence problems which lead to more serious life choices in my youth.
I am very happy. But I still feel very shitty because she is my mother, and I love her. But a woman who hires a private investigator? Really?
This job made my dreams into more of a reality. I am going for my third degree, and will be going onto law school in the next two years, after I travel a bit. I have passions and I am going after them. Not being tempted to be a dancer my whole life because the money is so good. Its great but its a job, not a career.
She told me to come back to her after I stopped doing this line of work.
Has anybody made the choice of themselves over their own mother?
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