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Thread: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

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    Default Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    About 15 years ago, I was a dancer at a few topless clubs in my city. I did this to make ends meet. I had tried to get a career going during the recession of the early 90s, and it was hard, so eventually I started dancing, I was 27, almost 28 when I started. Within a few months, my Dad had walked in to the club one evening to have a beer, and I saw him sitting there. It was nightmarish and I have tried to push it back in my memory. A while later, I went to work at a different club. I looked out one day when I was on stage and there were 3 guys I went to high school with, sitting there at a table, having drinks. I freaked out and ran off the stage, and back into the dressing room. I tried to control myself and then went out to their table, and sat down. I just burst out crying right in front of them. To be honest, I was sort of an under-achiever in high school and I'm sure they were thinking "yeah, figures she'd wind up here". My feeling was "okay, whatever, you got me, yeah I'm working here so what". They were nice and even offered to leave the club, though, if it would make me feel better. I kept dancing because the money was good, but eventually, guys that I used to date would come in and see me, ex-boyfriends of my female friends would come in......now 15 years later I realize they probably remember I was a topless dancer. I don't know how to cope. In some ways I am ashamed, but I still do not feel there is anything wrong with topless dancing, its perfectly legal where I live, and I was working and supporting myself. I just wonder if anyone else has dealt with this situation - people you know coming into your club, when you weren't expecting it.

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    Default Re: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    I've only encountered people I know in the club a few times, but I've never been embarrassed or ashamed. Why would I be? I'm not at all uncomfortable with what I do for a living. I admit that running into my dad at work would be pretty weird, but my dad knows what I do, and he doesn't go to strip clubs. I've run into guys from high school a couple of times, and their reaction is usually, "Wow, you were that blonde Goth chick! You're soooo hot, can I get a dance?" I also ran into an ex, who spent mad money on me and started trying to ask me out again, until the bouncer told him he was being creepy and to knock it off.

    If you had such a breakdown just cause some people saw you at the club and you can't get over it after 15 years, that says to me that you were dancing for the wrong reasons. You should NEVER feel violated or uncomfortable with what you do for a living. But still, it was 15 years ago. Why dwell over it? You can't change it. You're just subjecting yourself to some completely unnecessary stress. I sincerely doubt that those three high school guys were looking at you like you were a loser--though I'm sure your randomly bursting into tears in front of them probably freaked them out.

    For me, stripping is something I'll be able to look back on when I'm older and be like, "damn straight!" It saddens me that your experience was so traumatizing for you--and it saddens me even more that even though you KNEW you had issues with it, you continued to do it. No amount of money is worth your mental or emotional health, and if you're still so damaged by dancing 15 years after the fact, it sounds like your mental and emotional health took a serious beating.

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    Default Re: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    Thanks for your reply.
    Sometimes, as you get older, things from the past run through your mind. Most of the time I had no problem w/what I did for a living.

    But many of my friends criticized me for it. So that got to me after a while. I am still glad that I danced during that time, because it got me through rough financial times.

    Seeing the men from my high school in the club was traumatizing for me, because one of them was a guy who had bullied me in school.

    My mother tried hard to get me out of stripping, and she insisted I talk to her church preacher. She told me I would go to hell. I agreed to talk to the preacher, and met him a local restaurant. But then he started asking me weird questions and it made me uncomfortable. I just explained to him why I was doing this for a living, and how I'd been through difficult times. He was incredibly judgmental and said "wow, aren't you ashamed to be doing that? you should be embarassed". Then he asked me out of the blue, "how many men have you slept with?". This creeped me out. Seriously, made my skin crawl. I told him it was entirely none of his business, and I walked away from him.

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    Veteran Member Su Su's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    Sounds like you were just surrounded by the wrong people, and perhaps you're feeling down because everyone around you advises against it? (And of course a preacher would be judgemental!)
    Don't be too hard on yourself, being a dancer rules! Screw whoever put you down in high school, you did what you had to do.

    Someone that I used to go to school with was in the year above me, came in recently. Didn't recognise me at all. I barely run into anyone I know because I don't talk to a lot of people or know much people, so it was lucky for me.

    & It's so ridiculous that people would quickly come to the conclusion that being a dancer = sleeping with a lot of people. People are so narrow minded, you did the right thing by walking away.

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    Default Re: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Su Su View Post
    It's so ridiculous that people would quickly come to the conclusion that being a dancer = sleeping with a lot of people.

    Sadly, my dad really thinks this is true





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    Default Re: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    Sadly, my dad really thinks this is true
    Parents will be parents (but I'm pretty sure there are some pretty cool parents out there). What can you do? Fight for the right! Ignore the haters!

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    Default Re: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    I would be a little nervous and embarrassed if it was family. But old friends or whatever seems like a nice way to make some extra money right?

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    Default Re: Ever see people you know in the club where you work?

    The first club I worked at was the only one in my town so I ran into people I knew allll the time. Fortunately my family doesn't live anywhere nearby, but yes, I had to deal with slightly embarrassing situations - like running into classmates, coworkers from my other job at the time, and even the people who worked at the center where I donate plasma - that was awkward as hell lol But in the end, you just have to remember - someone who walks into a SC can't judge someone who works in a SC.... Well, I mean, they do, a lot, but they really have no right to. If you think about it, they may have been just as embarrassed that you saw them in the club as you were that they saw you.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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