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Thread: Question for customers...

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    Default Question for customers...

    I'm really not trying to be rude by asking this, but I have to because it still seems like a mystery to me. I get there are some customers who enjoy wasting time on purpose, which is kind of psychotic and bizarre and sad, but this happens too often to be the case all the time.

    I sit with a customer, I ask if he would like company first. He says 'sure!' we talk. Everything's cool. But he says no to a dance. Ok, fair enough. Honestly, as long as a customer is friendly and nice and polite I appreciate them, even if they don't spend a lot. And there are also custies who are just fun to talk to at the bar who I understand just want to chill, but are there some of you who do this on purpose or what? Do you decide whether you are going to get a dance right away or after conversation? Is it the conversation that puts you off or do you know right when you see the girl whether or not you will get a dance? Just curious.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    I've often wondered this too. They are a minority, but I've definitely encountered customers whose primary goal seemed to be fucking with the dancers and their money. Of course, there are customers--mainly young ones--who think that by doing this, they are somehow proving how desirable or smart they are--we've all heard guys bragging about how THEY can go to a strip club and get all sorts of attention and not pay any money.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    No.... Maybe a very very small percentage get a kick out of wasting a dancers time......


    Unless someone here admits to it here. I guess it's possible.
    The country has been looted.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    I think crowds tend to do this more...I've had crowds of youngish guys on weekends who won't pay any money around their buddies, but as soon as I isolated one of the individuals, he'd suddenly start buying dances and tipping well. I figured this was some weird male dynamic about not appearing like you need to pay for attention in front of your friends.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    I know before you approach if I am not going to get a dance from you and will not waste your time if you do approach. That being said, it is possible for you to change an anticipated 'yes' to a 'no'. Cigarette breath ......subject of conversation......obviously fake attraction...unfortunately any number of things can change the initial attraction for me.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    I know before the girl even comes over whether I'd get a dance from her or not, though it is possible in rare occasions to change my mind. Some guys just want your attention without having to pay for a dance, so they're not going to say no when you try to sit down next to them. But honestly, a lot of us decent regulars still have trouble saying what amounts to "go away" when a girl asks us if we want some company. Telling someone to scram would be rude in every other area of life and so it just seems odd to reject a girl's offer for "company," even though we know what they mean. I know that what we're supposed to do is explain to the girl that we're not planning on buying any dances from her, but that's easier said than done, especially when a good portion of girls will act offended or just plop down anyway and claim you as her own, meaning the other girls won't come near you.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    90% of the time i know right away if ill get a dance especially since i really have a thing just for blondes.

    10% of the time though the conversation can sway me from no to yes or even vice versa.

    & on the timewasters yea there are some jerks cause some guys are jerks.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    The conversation will rarely sway me either way. I typically go with my gut, if I like a girls look and the way she carries herself it's on.

    Now if I really can't click at all conversationally then I'll change my mind and decline. No sense wasting each other's time. Conversation is important to me and I won't be giving any repeat business.

    And once in awhile the conversation will be real interesting and I'll accept a dance from someone my initial thought was to decline.

    I too have difficulty with declining the offer for company. I'm much more assertive than years ago. Still, when I say no thanks, too often for my taste it's awkward and the girl turns on her heel in a huff. So when I accept an offer for company I'll chat, buy a drink, but it's no guarentee of any dances.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by KeithDoxen View Post
    But honestly, a lot of us decent regulars still have trouble saying what amounts to "go away" when a girl asks us if we want some company. Telling someone to scram would be rude in every other area of life and so it just seems odd to reject a girl's offer for "company," even though we know what they mean. I know that what we're supposed to do is explain to the girl that we're not planning on buying any dances from her, but that's easier said than done, especially when a good portion of girls will act offended or just plop down anyway and claim you as her own, meaning the other girls won't come near you.
    Quote Originally Posted by 59 View Post
    I too have difficulty with declining the offer for company. I'm much more assertive than years ago. Still, when I say no thanks, too often for my taste it's awkward and the girl turns on her heel in a huff. So when I accept an offer for company I'll chat, buy a drink, but it's no guarentee of any dances.
    Not to sound like I'm lecturing here, but declining company is an important skill to learn if you want to maximize your time in the clubs. If you don't learn to control your space, you will spend an awful lot of time being bored and/or hustled by girls that you don't really want. And some girls will sit there forever if they think that they smell weakness or hesitation.

    I'm long past the point of even remotely caring if a girl gets mad just because I say no thank you, but I do minimize the drama by always being calm and kind about it. I'll usually say something like, "Thank you honey, but I'm really not looking for company at the moment." If a girl is persistent, I will tell her "Honestly, I don't want to burn your time and I have other preferences for the types of girls that I like." I've even heard a couple of thank yous recently from girls who appreciated the fact that I didn't waste their time, but every once in a while a not so great reaction will come. C'est la vie.

    Anyway, my MO is to always be kind but also always be firm about what I do and do not want. IMHO this approach saves a lot of time and grief, but there it is.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by Raider View Post
    I know before you approach if I am not going to get a dance from you and will not waste your time if you do approach. That being said, it is possible for you to change an anticipated 'yes' to a 'no'. Cigarette breath ......subject of conversation......obviously fake attraction...unfortunately any number of things can change the initial attraction for me.
    I agree with a lot of this. I will know instantly if I am not interested due purely to her physical attributes, but even with one that attracts me I need to be sold a little before I start spending. If she doesn't have any conversation skills, the odds that my wallet will open up for anything other than a thank you tip are low.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by ShayBaby View Post
    I'm really not trying to be rude by asking this, but I have to because it still seems like a mystery to me. I get there are some customers who enjoy wasting time on purpose, which is kind of psychotic and bizarre and sad, but this happens too often to be the case all the time.

    I sit with a customer, I ask if he would like company first. He says 'sure!' we talk. Everything's cool. But he says no to a dance. Ok, fair enough. Honestly, as long as a customer is friendly and nice and polite I appreciate them, even if they don't spend a lot. And there are also custies who are just fun to talk to at the bar who I understand just want to chill, but are there some of you who do this on purpose or what? Do you decide whether you are going to get a dance right away or after conversation? Is it the conversation that puts you off or do you know right when you see the girl whether or not you will get a dance? Just curious.
    I think what the strip clubs should do is provide a table-card for customers when they walk through the front door for them to take to their seat. The card would simply say "not interested in a lap dance". If the customer is not interested, simply place the card on the table.

    Would this suffice?

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    the convo can definitely persuade me if the right things are said. and no not referring to extras or anything like that. eww. but anyways, Generally I would like the company, but as soon as I get into the club I want to relax and watch the dancers, and see who I might like first. if you want to sit and chill with me, maybe throw some tips on stage or have a drink, even better. What does drive me nuts is the constant asking over and over, generally if I saw the 1st time, it's going to be no the 4th time. In my opinion, it also has to do with the transfer of power. in the real world, beautiful women like most dancers have the power over men, however for the hour or so Im in a club, I have the power, im the one pursued, not pursuing. so if some guys want to string you along and fuck with you than that might be their intentions. Can't say that I totally blame them, but I guess it's part of the business. same thing with people in any sort of competitive high pressure sales. if you don't want to buy the car then why ask me 100 questions and waste my time. just my 2 cents.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Thanks for all the input guys! It's very helpful A couple of you mentioned that some gals walk off in a huff when you say no thanks right away. I used to do this on bad nights when I first started dancing, but now I always say 'thanks, have a great night'. I even say thanks have a great night if the customer was cool but still said no. I guess for me it's a little strange because I've never been the 'girly-girl' type. I'm very very down to earth and I've never strung guys or other people along in my personal life or anything like that, so when people do it to me I'm always a little surprised. I'm sure there are a lot of dancers who are like me and a lot who are not too. But I can see where some people have been hurt and have it in for others, taking it out on dancers or guys or retail workers or waiters or whoever they can. And this goes for males and females. I guess it's a human condition.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by kristy11 View Post
    I think what the strip clubs should do is provide a table-card for customers when they walk through the front door for them to take to their seat. The card would simply say "not interested in a lap dance". If the customer is not interested, simply place the card on the table.

    Would this suffice?
    I think this is a great idea. If you've eaten at a Brazilian Buffet, they have a similar concept where you flip a little token to green for "Bring meat!" and flip it to red to mean stop. Color coding might not work in clubs, but having something so guys can opt out of company without having to say no might be beneficial for both dancer and customer.

    Regarding the original post, I think there are guys who get off on wasting time and getting as much as they can without spending anything. Strip clubs are like opposite land, where attractive women fawn over these guys who have no chance out in the real world. I'm sure part of the mentality is getting back at all those girls who never gave that kind of guy a chance.

    I don't really have my mind made up until I talk to a girl. I do know that if a girl sits and talks to me for a bit and winds up on stage later, I pay more attention to her and will go out of my way to tip her. I'd say I usually wind up buying a few dances later, especially if she handles a no the first time well.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    To be honest, yes, sometimes the conversation can make me change my mind about getting a dance. If I get a dancer who spends our first conversation, her sales pitch, yapping about her bills, her kids, her BF or dissing the other girls in the club I'm immediately not interested in her. Looks are clearly important but attitude is key to getting my money. If I see potential for drama or if I sense boredom I'm not really interested in going any further.
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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    To be honest, yes, sometimes the conversation can make me change my mind about getting a dance. If I get a dancer who spends our first conversation, her sales pitch, yapping about her bills, her kids, her BF or dissing the other girls in the club I'm immediately not interested in her. Looks are clearly important but attitude is key to getting my money. If I see potential for drama or if I sense boredom I'm not really interested in going any further.
    I can't believe there are girls who actually talk about this stuff to custies! What a drag. One thing working in customer service, food service and for government in the past taught me is that you leave your baggage at home, lol

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by ShayBaby View Post
    I can't believe there are girls who actually talk about this stuff to custies! What a drag. One thing working in customer service, food service and for government in the past taught me is that you leave your baggage at home, lol
    I get told that I'm a good listener. That means I'm too polite I think. It never ceases to amaze me the personal issues a brand new dancer (to me) will decide to share with me.

    For crying out loud I'm there to get away from my real world problems, I don't want to hear hers!

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by Calbear View Post
    I think this is a great idea. If you've eaten at a Brazilian Buffet, they have a similar concept where you flip a little token to green for "Bring meat!" and flip it to red to mean stop. Color coding might not work in clubs, but having something so guys can opt out of company without having to say no might be beneficial for both dancer and customer.
    There used to be a restaurant where you raised a flag, and they brought more tamalies, Enchiladas or whatever it was you were eating. Maybe an appropriate flag could be designed.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by 59 View Post
    I get told that I'm a good listener. That means I'm too polite I think. It never ceases to amaze me the personal issues a brand new dancer (to me) will decide to share with me.

    For crying out loud I'm there to get away from my real world problems, I don't want to hear hers!
    The problem is that they don't know what to talk about. If they talk about the men, the guy might get turned off because he starts thinking about his wife and kids at home, creating feelings of guilt. If the girls talk about themselves, they might let it slip that they also work at the local Outback, and then some idiot shows up to propose the next time she's on shift serving steak and potatoes. The dancers who really understand seduction and sensuality (very rare these days) understand that as long as they put on their sensual personality, it doesn't matter what they say, and that very few words will even be exchanged in that event, because so much of the conversation will be about creating chemistry and attraction. As I've said in other threads, Slavic girls are great at this.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    The flag idea is pretty funny, but the thing is it wouldn't work in reality. The customers who enjoy wasting a dancer's time would still want to be approached, the flags wouldn't change this at all.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Quote Originally Posted by ShayBaby View Post
    I can't believe there are girls who actually talk about this stuff to custies! What a drag. One thing working in customer service, food service and for government in the past taught me is that you leave your baggage at home, lol
    Shay, there are some girls out there who will talk about anything - criminal records, heinous baby daddy drama, childhood trauma, favorite drugs...you name it. I tend to hang more in the mid-tier clubs rather than the more elegant variety, so I think the dynamic is a bit different, particularly in some of the small clubs that I enjoy down south. If I could remember them all, I could probably fill a book with some of the more interesting stories that I have heard over the past 10 years.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 05-10-2012 at 05:13 AM.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    I am like most of the others; I would never knowingly waste a lady's time or my own. I know as soon as a lady approaches if I am NOT interested. If they ask me to join me and I know that I am not interested, I will politely decline. If I accept, I fully expect to get at least one dance. Our conversation typically gets me to thinking that I am interested in multiple dances or I am not interested at all. If the latter, I politely decline and usually tip them for their time.

    One exception is that if I go to a club to see a specific dancer and am waiting (she is with someone else or the dressing room), I may accept "company" from someone that I may be interested in later, but will quickly inform them of my situation so that I don't waste their time and tip them for the effort. After all, I only do it because I am thinking that I may come back and get some dances from them.

    FWIW, I have had some rather dramatic (and negative) responses to a polite "Thanks for offering, but I am not interested." I don't like it, but I don't sweat over it either.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    I would never waste a dancer's time on purpose. But it would not surprise me that there are some who would do that.

    When I sold cars, there was a type of "customer" that loved to waste your time, take several test drives in several cars, dicker on the price for hours, then walk to "think about it for awhile." We called them "strokers." The more experienced salesman could tell a stroker and would let the inexperienced salesman take them.

    I guess it's a cheap way to have an evening's entertainment.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    Chances are I know before you sit down. For instance, if there are 10 girls in the club, by sight, I'll want to dance with 3 of them. 4 or 5 won't be my type right off the bat - nothing personal, just not what attracts me. And the rest are "maybe, though probably not." But of those 2-3 girls that are "maybes" - if they sit down and are cool as the Fonz, that "maybe" turns into a "hell yes". If they don't approach, that "maybe" is automatically a "no."

    And yes, time-wasters do exist. TONS of them. And they're ALWAYS there - like barnacles on a ship. Useless hangers-on that take up space.

    A few weeks ago, I saw a guy walk up to a dancer, introduce himself, talk for a few minutes, but didn't want a dance - never had any intention of getting one. Why he introduced himself, I have no idea. Neither did the dancer who was rather miffed. Last week, another guy did the same thing, took out his phone and tried a PUA routine - didn't spend a dime. Barnacles, I say, the lot of them.

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    Default Re: Question for customers...

    How do guys know about the private dances? Before I became a dancer I didn't know they existed. There are no signs or menus that I know of. I often assume the guys just think the club is a place to drink and watch and maybe they don't know about the private dances? At one of the clubs where I worked it was against the law to ask for a private dance. O_o
    Last edited by yoda57us; 03-28-2012 at 03:15 PM.

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