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Thread: What should I do

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    Member Demonia's Avatar
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    Lightbulb What should I do

    I have a boyfriend that I kept away from my family. I live with him, and he bought a cell phone plan (without asking me... just did it). He's also 3 decades older than me, but that's not why I want to dump him, but I want to relocate to a better state for stripping. I pay him $40 a month for it, and I now I want to dump him (8 months later) to pursue the adult entertainment career. I am not sure if I should pay him back the phone contract cancellation even though my name is not anywhere. I don't know if he'll come back for the money, and I don't want the phone. He may also call my family and tell them everything I did like being with him (I called them on the phone). I don't want him to call the police saying I owe this and that....should I record him talking about the phone as if it were a gift, to save myself?

    So that's a big fear of mine.

    If I pay him $250 for cancellation, I don't think he will call my family and spew crap about me. But I need every dollar for the move.

    Or should I keep him? Not as a boyfriend, but more like a friend who I pay for the phone usage? I told him I had interest in the porn industry (more than once), and he said he's cool with that. I could tell him the truth that I want to do the adult industry, and I can't stay in my homestate. He will probably be "okay" with that, and not go crazy on me. And the phone is unlimited mins.

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    God/dess Nikki_Fox's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Regardless of the boyfriend telling or not - if you are in the adult industry especially porn - you run the risk of your family finding out sooner or later - I always prefer to leave relationships on good terms - unless he has mistreated you why would you not want him as a friend?

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki_Fox View Post
    Regardless of the boyfriend telling or not - if you are in the adult industry especially porn - you run the risk of your family finding out sooner or later - I always prefer to leave relationships on good terms - unless he has mistreated you why would you not want him as a friend?
    I guess I'm use to dumping men, and completely ignoring them. He's the first real relationship, so he deserves better than that... I just have an unrealistic fear of him coming back and hurting me... even though he won't I bet. He won't hurt me if I pay him my phone service and keep it until the contract ends, which is probably the best bet. He told me he's okay whenever I decide to leave him, he won't hold it against me, but I don't know.... I don't want to hurt him, but I have to go forward with my life. It's not him, it's me and my dreams.

    I plan on telling my family when I win my first AVN award, than I have proof I made it a career. But I'm not asking advice on that lol. That's my first goal, is that AVN award since it means I did something with my life. AVN 2014 new comer.

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    ...my god.

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Holy shit... Thread of the year!
    Just tell him you want to move for the industry. If he's dumb enough to get you a phone without asking... He's probably dumb enough to move with you and finance the move...no need to break up with him at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    If you're already paying him $40/month for the plan, surely that means you can afford to pay $40/month to get the same plan yourself. Unlimited minutes are easy to find, girl. The contract isn't in your name, so you don't owe him shit and he has no leg to stand on when it comes to claiming back the money.

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    Member Demonia's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    We need more information on the phone plan. You said it's unlimited minutes. This is a good start. Does this include data? International usage? How will your reception be in your new state? When are you next eligible for an upgrade? These are all very important factors to consider when deciding whether or not it's worth it.
    Top of line phone, free internet, good cam, lots of apps, not sure it's international, but I know it can go across states can hear people well...

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    Default Re: What should I do

    ^ I'm fairly sure BOTM was being sarcastic.

    I think you would agree that when you are making major life choices like a career or where to live, or even whether to keep a boyfriend or ditch him, etc., it's a bit unusual to have a cell phone plan be the main factor in all these decisions.

    This is especially true if you are making all three choices at once.

    I would suggest that you may want to make each of these decisions on their own merits and just leave the phone out of it. I mean, it's a phone. I'm quite sure that in six months or a year when your life is in a completely different place you will have forgotten all about the phone.

    It's odd, the things we sometimes choose to care about.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by Demonia View Post
    Top of line phone, free internet, good cam, lots of apps, not sure it's international, but I know it can go across states can hear people well...
    Quote Originally Posted by All Good Things View Post
    ^ I'm fairly sure BOTM was being sarcastic.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Not to be mean but ,if you feel your parents would not approve of you being in the adult/porn industry, I dont think an award for it would soften the blow.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Based on all your posts, I think what you should do is forget about all this for just a moment to grow up & mature a little bit before you go forward with any rash decisions. You need more of a well thought out plan, one that is realistic, & to also figure out what your priorities REALLY are and should be. Worrying this much over a cell phone when you're trying to make it big in the adult industry is not worth this much thought. You also said it is an unrealistic fear of him coming back to mess with you, he probably won't & hes okay with you wanting to do this though you haven't officially told him yet?...so...you acknowledge you're overreacting. If you wanna dump him & start your career, just do it, he doesn't need to know because he won't be your bf anymore. He probably won't call the cops for a phone plan in HIS name and if you give the phone back to him since you said you don't want it anyway. If you're worried about him calling your family and telling them all your secrets and about being with him, who is 30 yrs your senior, when you're going to strip and be in porn some day soon around all kinds of men of all ages, then.....like I said, please take some time to figure out your priorities. Not being mean, just sayin'

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    Tell him you want to move and why. If he reacts well keep the phone if not dump the phone.

    That said, worrying over a phone? Really? Lol based on everything else you should be worrying over (moving, entering porn), a phone should be a very low priority.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: What should I do


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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki_Fox View Post
    Not to be mean but ,if you feel your parents would not approve of you being in the adult/porn industry, I dont think an award for it would soften the blow.
    This reminds me of that MTV True Life episode about the people that worked in porn, and the girl was DETERMINED to win an AVN award because then her parents would be proud of it. And she mentioned it to her sister, how she'd like to win, and her sister started sobbing lol

    ETA: There was a huge thing pretty recently right, the wikiporn thing or something, where a ton of porn girls got outed with their real names and info and a bunch of horrible stuff about them? OP, your parents are going to find out you're doing porn, very likely before you (if ever) win an AVN award


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    Default Re: What should I do

    Thanks for the concern, but if they find out, they find out. They reject me, then that's on them, it's my career choice. I have to do it no matter what for my happiness, but it would be nice to tell them with the AVN award. If I don't get an AVN award, then at least I did my best.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Guys, stop being so judgmental. You know how hard it is to get a phone these days. I mean, she's found someone willing to go out on a limb for her to have access to a VALUABLE RESOURCE. It's not like any of us would be able to get a phone by ourselves. Quit being jealous and give her some REAL advice.

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Mediocrity is right you guys. We're being too harsh here.
    I mean... This guy could tell her FAMILY... Can you imagine how that could impact her emotionally? It could seriously jeopardize her shot at fulfilling her dream and winning a porno award!! Could you imagine how upset her family would be if they found out their daughter had sex on video for a living and want even God enough to win an award for it?
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post

    Army, do you just have a stockpile of these pictures/memes? lmao
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    Is this... real? He didn't even ask you if you wanted the phone but you're still paying him for it? You don't owe him anything and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any legal ground here if you didn't sign anything. I just... I hope you find happiness.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by Electrum View Post
    Is this... real? He didn't even ask you if you wanted the phone but you're still paying him for it? You don't owe him anything and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any legal ground here if you didn't sign anything. I just... I hope you find happiness.
    That's the weirdest post on here (on the last line)! You're saying that like I'm going down doomsville as if I am going to live a life of craziness.

    Anyways, yes it's real, but he did it because I was using a trakfone, and he pick me up from work every other day, so it was using minutes. I was broke poor when I came to his life, but now I have enough saved were I think I am financially secure. $40 isn't a lot I think... a month for unlimited mins?

    I thought it over, and this is my solution, I am going to use his dream about being a musician and not going for it to my porn dream. Then he will be like, "you have to do this if you really want too, but I will always love you".... and then I keep the phone, and send him checks over western union (in case he uses me for my money and not what I request).

    So he will let me go from his life slowly, but I will forge on. He won't ruin me if I keep this phone, and deal with this situation with much thought.

    And everyone thinks, "the phone isn't that serious!". It's serious when the guy you're dealing with will hurt when anger, not that he hurt me, but he might seek revenge. He might call my family up and tell them, "yes she did this this and that... and she lie to you all this, she was in love with me, and I'm 50 yrs old! She told me everything you guys did.."

    Then I will have to deal with them, when I am trying to make a career for myself. When I am finally living my life, and my goals... then they will be like, "You're _------,,, you need help." And I will be like, "OMG! Why did he do that!"

    ---
    so yes the phone has more importance than my porno dream, because my porno dream is my happiness, and my phone is the symbol of destruction of my mental clarity. Porno is easy, dealing with my family is hardcore (for example, what is harder shaving your hair or seducing men with lies night after night? doing what you love is much easier!)

    My family is really Christian, but I built this wall of lies to make them think, "Oh she's just going to college and working". I need this AVN award not only for myself, but because without it, I didn't do what i set out for myself.

    ---
    Thank you everyone, really cleared my situation up, I was too focus on one aspect and didn't look at the BIG picture.

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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    I'm sorry it's just hard to tell if someone is trolling sometimes. But regardless your boyfriend sounds controling and possibly abusive so I would dump him asap and fuck the phone he's using it to try and control you.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    Army, do you just have a stockpile of these pictures/memes? lmao

    <----------------- Me?

    Maybe.

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    Default Re: What should I do

    Erm, maybe wipe the phone so it has no numbers/last calls/messages etc on it (factory settings) on it...if he hasnt been involved in your family then i highly doubt that he would be memorising their phone numbers anyway to snitch on you. If he does snitch, he was a shit boyfriend, but you dont seem TOO concerned about your family finding out anyway so thats a side issue. If the phone isnt in your name, wipe it, return it, move, strip. If you have never signed a contract for it, its not your problem. Feeling or emotion dont seem to factor much in here so i wouldnt worry too much if he gets all upset about being $40 out of pocket a month, after all, he's lucky to have been sleeping with a future porn star 30 years his junior, most men would pay much more than $250 for that.
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    Default Re: What should I do

    God, i don't even know where to start on this

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    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do

    I personally think it would be a shitty move to stick him with the bill after dumping him.....but I am a lot older than you and views change as you age. I also believe in karma and would not want to risk the repercusions of being evil to someone I loved.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

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