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Thread: Upset...

  1. #1
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    Default Upset...

    I know I have been posting quite a lot here lately, but I really just need somewhere to vent. I just had a huge blow out over my camming with my boyfriend of 3 years. I started camming in November 2010 and before I even started I discussed it with him to make sure he was ok with it. I was just really tired of working in restaurants and being taken advantage of. Now at this point I really don't have any other options but to cam because I couldn't possibly work a job where I have to be on my feet all day. I have several reasons as to why. I have anxiety which makes dealing with people face to face very difficult on certain days. I also get migraines quite frequently and I get severe knee/hip pain to the point where I can't even walk at times. To me camming has been a god send because it's made working possible when otherwise I would have lost my job due to absences by now. I was planning on starting school next year sometime I really wanted to get into laser aesthetics. So, I do have goals and I don't plan on doing this forever if any way possible. A week or so ago my boy agreed to take some naked pics of me so that I could sell them. As you ladies know it's hard to take pics of yourself doing certain things or even getting full body shots in. I have more guy friends than girl friends so my options on other people are limited. I asked him today when he would take them and he went off to say that he wanted nothing to do with it and didn't agree with it, etc etc etc. I just don't understand what happened? He also said that he just wants me to keep it to myself. ok.. that's fine and dandy, but honestly right now I haven't even been getting out of the house and I have little else to talk about with him. Before today he was ok with it, I just don't know what happened. We never usually have arguments so this just came out of nowhere. No, I don't want to lose him but what else am I supposed to do? I just can't give up camming right now. I'm doing the best I can to get in better health. I have yet another doctor appointment on tuesday with a specialist for my knees/hips. I just feel that he should be more supportive, especially right now with all I'm going through. Any words of advice or encouragement would be beyond appreciated.

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    Senior Member DollEyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Upset...

    Maybe what put him off was actually seeing you in that situation and thinking of other people seeing you naked and such. You should definitely talk it over with him but personally i wouldn't quit camming especially in your situation if other jobs are too hard on your body. If he's not willing to accept what you do then that's up to you to decide whether you quit for him or keep supporting yourself. I think it's selfish of him to want you to quit camming unless he plans of supporting you financially.

    Keep your head up and just do whatever you feel is best for YOU. Goodluck

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    Default Re: Upset...

    So?? so far in 10 yrs all the naysayers have yet to chip in to help pay my bills... and I do mean everyone knows what I do.. so i continue to cam til i don't want to or have to.. where are all these people who were not supportive of me to do cam?.. I should be getting at least 10% of their pay at least.. from each one..lol So that I don't have to do cam anymore? damn.. and trust me i would be glad to quit if someone paid me to..lol

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    Default Re: Upset...

    I went through this with my ex... I didnt cam in front of him, but every so often I would talk about something crazy or funny or whatever that happened. I mean dang, he can talk about and complain about his job all day every day, and he was a-okay with what I did (I told him as soon as we were getting serious what it was I did..and at that time I was a full-timer) and I only brought my job up once a month or so at the most, but one day out of the blue, he just went off...told me to stop talking about it, he doesnt want to hear about it, and he doesnt want it in his face that his girl gets naked for other men.

    I was like...wtf did that come from? I mean dude, youve dated strippers! all of a sudden its a problem? and he flat out said yes, case closed, didnt wannt talk about it anymore. Once the air cleared a little bit, he said that it wasnt what I did or how I did it, he just hated knowing that if there were guys who gave me money, that if he could, he would rather be the one to take care of me, but instead its all these other guys. I was still totally perplexed...like thats what a job is..you work and someone gives you money. These guys arent my bfs, my friends, my anything...its just a job. But he was still bent out of shape.

    After that, whenever we got into a tiff over something, hed throw the cam thing in my face to shut me up...saying that he cant even be openly proud of anything I do, he cant tell his friends or his family, and for all he knows, his pals all have seen me on cam and talking about him behind his back blah blah blah. Anyway...eventually he started apologizing, offering to let me use his place to cam when hes out of town or working wierd hours if it helps me when kiddo is on school break, stuff like that. And always trying to reassure me that it was his own insecurities, that he is proud of me for being able to do this and make money to take care of myself blah blah blah.

    Things were okay for awhile, til in some tiff over the girl he was seeing, and he said at least she has a real job. Ill cut out the gory details of what happened after he said that Suffice it to say, he hasnt said anything negative about me camming ever since then. So yeah, Id say its a personal issue, not you or what you do, but him trying to be supportive, but having some kind of moment where his own insecurities start boiling over.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: Upset...

    I have severe migraines too and this is the perfect profession for me due to the flexibility.

    For some guys, asking him to actually be involved may just be too much for them.

    I only film my own vids and pics. My vids sell fine. Maybe invest in a self timer camera if you are really wanting to get into pics. I find photos don't even sell and guys like my webcam shots for my cam site pics anyway, so i stick with self-shot videos.


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    Default Re: Upset...

    You know? I have heard from several men who didn't know I cammed or anything.. Or maybe i think they didn't know.. but they said to me they could never date a girl like that who is having sex or playing with other men for them to see.. They tell me it does something to their mind .. that every man can have the girl there with.. men are kinda you know like dogs in that they like to mark their territory and no one else can have them.. but they sure aren't loyal.... Sorry but most men are NOT ok with this at all.. they say they are but in the end they aren't .. that's why i have been single for 12 yrs now... I have dated and had a few short term relationships.. but they purposely told me they wouldn't take me seriously if i continued to do this job... sad but true. so I have to always choose camming.. I just can't quit without a back up plan.. unless they will always pay all the bills so i can follow my real dreams/..lol

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    Default Re: Upset...

    Well I dont know...there are women who are strippers and porn stars who are in good relationships, married, etc etc. It just takes a really good guy who is totally secure within himself to be handle being in a relationship with a woman in this industry.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: Upset...

    My husband knows what I do, but pretty much my biggest fear is that one day I'll get recorded, and he'll find it and leave me. I mean, it's easy to say that he's okay with what I'm doing... but I just have this feeling that if he SAW it... he'd never see me the same way again... you know? but... I mean. bills gotta be paid. He just doesn't make enough money to cover rent AND debt.. and we need ONE of us to have good credit if we want a good, cushy life together. Right?

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    Default Re: Upset...

    Quote Originally Posted by BlkSharpie View Post
    I went through this with my ex... I didnt cam in front of him, but every so often I would talk about something crazy or funny or whatever that happened. I mean dang, he can talk about and complain about his job all day every day, and he was a-okay with what I did (I told him as soon as we were getting serious what it was I did..and at that time I was a full-timer) and I only brought my job up once a month or so at the most, but one day out of the blue, he just went off...told me to stop talking about it, he doesnt want to hear about it, and he doesnt want it in his face that his girl gets naked for other men.

    I was like...wtf did that come from? I mean dude, youve dated strippers! all of a sudden its a problem? and he flat out said yes, case closed, didnt wannt talk about it anymore. Once the air cleared a little bit, he said that it wasnt what I did or how I did it, he just hated knowing that if there were guys who gave me money, that if he could, he would rather be the one to take care of me, but instead its all these other guys. I was still totally perplexed...like thats what a job is..you work and someone gives you money. These guys arent my bfs, my friends, my anything...its just a job. But he was still bent out of shape.

    After that, whenever we got into a tiff over something, hed throw the cam thing in my face to shut me up...saying that he cant even be openly proud of anything I do, he cant tell his friends or his family, and for all he knows, his pals all have seen me on cam and talking about him behind his back blah blah blah. Anyway...eventually he started apologizing, offering to let me use his place to cam when hes out of town or working wierd hours if it helps me when kiddo is on school break, stuff like that. And always trying to reassure me that it was his own insecurities, that he is proud of me for being able to do this and make money to take care of myself blah blah blah.

    Things were okay for awhile, til in some tiff over the girl he was seeing, and he said at least she has a real job. Ill cut out the gory details of what happened after he said that Suffice it to say, he hasnt said anything negative about me camming ever since then. So yeah, Id say its a personal issue, not you or what you do, but him trying to be supportive, but having some kind of moment where his own insecurities start boiling over.
    The funny thing is he mentioned last week that he wanted to watch me cam(I didn't let him).. So it's really awesome that after this much time he finally decides that he has a problem with it. It really makes no sense to me. He's not religious at all and has no beliefs when it comes to that aspect of things. After we had it out a bit more he did say that he thinks it's "wrong" that we are all covered up out in public for a reason. I of course, in return, brought up the time he told me about how he showed our personal video to some of his work buddies without asking me first... I asked him is that "wrong" too? If so, why'd you do it. He just answered with he was being immature. I pretty much laid down the law and told him I have zero other options at the moment so either he can deal with or not. I really just don't care right now. I have to do what I have to do.

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    Default Re: Upset...

    Quote Originally Posted by WhatNOW View Post
    The funny thing is he mentioned last week that he wanted to watch me cam(I didn't let him).. So it's really awesome that after this much time he finally decides that he has a problem with it. It really makes no sense to me. He's not religious at all and has no beliefs when it comes to that aspect of things. After we had it out a bit more he did say that he thinks it's "wrong" that we are all covered up out in public for a reason. I of course, in return, brought up the time he told me about how he showed our personal video to some of his work buddies without asking me first... I asked him is that "wrong" too? If so, why'd you do it. He just answered with he was being immature. I pretty much laid down the law and told him I have zero other options at the moment so either he can deal with or not. I really just don't care right now. I have to do what I have to do.
    Jeez....did we date the same guy?!!! Cause yeah, he showed his friends racy pics and even movies of me. So when he told me that about what his friends must think, I told him...his friends saw moreof me in those pics he has on his phone, than any guy ever pays to see of me. He was so confused...but he just disnt get it...he showed off a private and genuine moment..Im acting on cam, and most times all the guys want to see anyway is a view of my ass!

    To top it off...when we were looking for a place together, he was all mindful saying we need a 3bd, so that I have my own private space to work out of...I mean, by all appearances, he was totally supportive..and then he got all stoopit Ah well.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: Upset...

    This may be a bit off-topic, and I understand that the real issue is your relationship, etc. and not how to take pictures of yourself. However, I did want to mention that if you can get apps on your phone, you can download a program that will allow you to use it as a mouse, or you can use a wireless mouse. Then you place the cursor over the "shoot" button on your webcam's software. That's how I get pictures of myself.

    I'm not trying to make light of/ignore your situation. I just thought I'd mention that because it might help to know that you don't have to rely on anyone else.

    Good luck with everything.

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  22. #12
    Veteran Member TM1975's Avatar
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    Default Re: Upset...

    I'm not going to go into a huge reply, but I'm thinking maybe he is only upset at the fact that you're going to sell pictures to guys, and they can have pictures of HIS girl forever.

    This is quite a bit different than camming! Maybe ask him if this is the situation, I know i've had long talks with my hub as to if I should start doing clips or selling pictures. It's a lot bigger deal (to us) for a guy to have things that he can save on his computer. Maybe he feels that it's taking away a part of you from him?

    Good luck with him!

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    Default Re: Upset...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cam_Model_Jess View Post
    This may be a bit off-topic, and I understand that the real issue is your relationship, etc. and not how to take pictures of yourself. However, I did want to mention that if you can get apps on your phone, you can download a program that will allow you to use it as a mouse, or you can use a wireless mouse. Then you place the cursor over the "shoot" button on your webcam's software. That's how I get pictures of myself.

    I'm not trying to make light of/ignore your situation. I just thought I'd mention that because it might help to know that you don't have to rely on anyone else.

    Good luck with everything.
    I know all about all of that.. I don't have a cell any longer. I am just trying to save money wherever I can and I do have a house phone so I just found it to be an unnecessary expense. I have a wireless mouse but I just don't feel the quality is as good as what I could have with my cybershot 14.1 megapixel camera. I do appreciate the input most definitely though

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    Default Re: Upset...

    Quote Originally Posted by TM1975 View Post
    I'm not going to go into a huge reply, but I'm thinking maybe he is only upset at the fact that you're going to sell pictures to guys, and they can have pictures of HIS girl forever.

    This is quite a bit different than camming! Maybe ask him if this is the situation, I know i've had long talks with my hub as to if I should start doing clips or selling pictures. It's a lot bigger deal (to us) for a guy to have things that he can save on his computer. Maybe he feels that it's taking away a part of you from him?

    Good luck with him!
    I did ask him about that, he's known that I've been doing that. Honestly I think he's being moody because he's withdrawing from a couple month binge of taking pain pills. It's really stupid, but I think that's the issue not what I've been doing. I just think that his logic makes no sense. Also, I've agreed to some things for our relationship I just can't let this go right now and if he can't respect that then I will just have to let him go. I'm hoping with time he will just let it go, but who knows really. I just gotta roll with punches for now.

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    Default Re: Upset...

    THATS IT!! bingo.. pain pills withdrawal.. when people withdrawal from substances they are irritated and will pick at anyone and anything... i would just let it blow over then.. and try to understand.. its a bitch to withdrawal from any addiction.

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    Default Re: Upset...

    i totally understand how you feel...up until i started camming i had one full time and one part time job...i still have the fulltime job and i love it but working that many hours for crap pay wore me down after almost two years. i have endometriosis and sometimes i just need to sleep it off when it hurts you know? this job affords me the flexibility of working when i am up to it and not when i feel like shit. i think the ladies make fantastic points about insecurity. my bf and i have fights and continue to fight about it but now 3 months into camming they are becoming less frequent and intense. i think maybe once he sees how you are making money he will feel better about it. i remember the best night for me to date i showed him how much i made on Mygirlfund and it seemed like a little light bulb lit up in his eyes. i hope that things get better for you

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    Default Re: Upset...

    Quote Originally Posted by sillykitty View Post
    My husband knows what I do, but pretty much my biggest fear is that one day I'll get recorded, and he'll find it and leave me. I mean, it's easy to say that he's okay with what I'm doing... but I just have this feeling that if he SAW it... he'd never see me the same way again... you know? but... I mean. bills gotta be paid. He just doesn't make enough money to cover rent AND debt.. and we need ONE of us to have good credit if we want a good, cushy life together. Right?

    Money or love? Pick one.

    The ones who don't pick money are often very happy and very broke with men they love very much, and who love them just as much.

    Can't have everything in life.

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    Default Re: Upset...

    the things that make you go HMMMM??? I had a best friend.. her mother is very attractive even in her sixties.. spent 30 + year being single never finding her match again.. she had some very wise advice.. why marry a poor asshole when you can marry a rich asshole.. now that i am approaching 40.. I see what she is saying!!!...she told me this when i was 27

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    Default Re: Upset...

    Lmfao!! Thats what my ex-bfs mom told me when we broke up....
    She was like...listen, all men are assholes..youre young, youre hot, now go land yourself a rich asshole.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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