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Thread: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

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    Default Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    I've been to a couple of local clubs here in the Cincinnati/NKY/Indiana area a few times. I'm not a frequent visitor anywhere but enough to enjoy some good times and find a couple of women who really stood out and were well worth every dollar.

    My question is, what's the etiquette on asking a dancer if they'd be interested in dancing privately on the side outside of the club? Is that pretty much frowned upon because the club wouldn't appreciate it? Or would most dancers not appreciate that either?

    I guess my concern would be not wanting to make it seem like I'm asking for anything illegal or whatever and offending anyone.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Usually, the whole "do you offer private parties" translates into "let's go to my house/hotel and have sex" despite that sometimes many customers are legit about their offer. Also, many clubs do not like when dancers do that. There are ways, though. The best way is to tell that dancer exactly what you want so you won't appear as LE, or as a "John". Also, try to offer her a good hourly amount (depending on the area, a good price might be 150-350 the hour plus tips) I can understand this approach being used in a club that does not offer any sort of lapdances, VIP/CR; I do not recommend this approach being used in a club that have private dances within. When I was dancing, I had a separate business number that I used exclusively for private dances since I wasn't dancing in a club that had any sort of private dances.





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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    I did these shows though never for someone I just met. To me that usually means sex and I would never offer that. Once I got to know a guy sometimes they booked me for a party, and I always brought a bouncer.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Don't ask. It never comes across well, even if you're genuinely asking for only dancing.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    Usually, the whole "do you offer private parties" translates into "let's go to my house/hotel and have sex" despite that sometimes many customers are legit about their offer. Also, many clubs do not like when dancers do that. There are ways, though. The best way is to tell that dancer exactly what you want so you won't appear as LE, or as a "John". Also, try to offer her a good hourly amount (depending on the area, a good price might be 150-350 the hour plus tips) I can understand this approach being used in a club that does not offer any sort of lapdances, VIP/CR; I do not recommend this approach being used in a club that have private dances within. When I was dancing, I had a separate business number that I used exclusively for private dances since I wasn't dancing in a club that had any sort of private dances.
    I have called escorts before and asked if they just do heavy contact LDs. Usually what happens is they laugh me right off the phone, or accuse me of being LE and THEN laugh me right off the phone. The only reason I would want a private incall/outcall dance is to save the hourly fee for a VIP booth/room at the club. That's extra money that could be given to the dancer, and it would be like VIP to boot. But I haven't had any luck with OTC dances.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by jordancage View Post
    My question is, what's the etiquette on asking a dancer if they'd be interested in dancing privately on the side outside of the club? Is that pretty much frowned upon because the club wouldn't appreciate it? Or would most dancers not appreciate that either?

    I guess my concern would be not wanting to make it seem like I'm asking for anything illegal or whatever and offending anyone.
    Why do you need to take it OTC if you are just looking for dances? Are you just trying to get more dancing bang for the buck? I just don't get it and, IMHO, neither will many dancers. You're going to have a hard time convincing a dancer that you want her alone in your hotel room so that you can get...dances.

    Idk, but if you are really looking for nothing more than dances then you would probably be better off just getting them in the club rather than wasting a lot of time and effort trying to get them OTC.

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    I have called escorts before and asked if they just do heavy contact LDs. Usually what happens is they laugh me right off the phone, or accuse me of being LE and THEN laugh me right off the phone.
    No doubt.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Lol, You young guys crack me up. Believe it or not, there are some guys who just like lap dances. It doesn't mean we don't like sex but we also enjoy lap dances. Dancers doing private dances outside of the club is also not nearly as unusual as some may think. More so in the past but even now not all clubs offer private dances. When I first started clubbing many dancers offered private dances OTC-with security along for the ride. It wasn't paid sex, it was private dancing. Granted in 2012 it may not be as common as it once was but it's not unheard of either.

    For my money it's the singer not the song. There are a lot of dancers I've known over the years that I would have gladly paid for OTC sex. You know what? They weren't interested in that but I enjoy their company enough that paying for dances and talk time is just fine with me. I know where to go when I want to get laid...
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    ^LOL. Very few around here have your time and experience in this Yoda, but I've been frequenting clubs for some time now and I have to say that I've never once seen this animal or had it offered, but I suppose that this could be as much a function of the fact that I have never pursued it as anything else.

    Now I understand that you and many others greatly enjoy lapdances, but OTC? In this day and age, almost every club offers LDs and I have to admit that I'm struggling to get my arms around why someone would go through the time and trouble to do that when dances are so readily available ITC. And when I imagine sitting on my hotel bed and getting a LD while some other guy sits in the room watching it all, the whole scene just seems ridiculous. Different strokes for different folks I suppose...

    Now you would know better than I how common it was prior to the turn of the century, but I suspect that it is not very common now. Most dancers currently filling the clubs are not the long-standing, seasoned vets that comprise your current stable of favorites and I suspect that most girls that started dancing in this century haven't had much experience in private, non-sexual OTC dances. For this reason, I suspect that guys like jordan and reject are going to have a bit of trouble finding what they are looking for. For the most part, when a girl hears "private dance at my hotel room", it is a euphemism for OTC sex.

    Anyway, just my
    Last edited by rickdugan; 04-02-2012 at 07:33 AM.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    What happens outside of clubs is, in large part, driven by what goes on inside the clubs and, as we all know, that varies greatly by region. Boston is a good example. If you are in the city it's mostly dancers offering either nothing at all or paid sex OTC. If you go south or west the dances get a lot more up close so, as you say rick, it wouldn't make much sense to pay for OTC dances. If you go north of Boston the clubs are all still strictly no contact and even the ones that offer private dances ITC are lame. Many of the girls who work those clubs offer OTC private dancing either privately or through an agency. Of course, if you drive the 50 miles to Providence something like an OTC private dance is pretty much unheard of. Most of the OTC girls are simply street walkers who have taken their game from the street corner to the strip club. Providence strip clubs are so inundated with extras and OTC that most self-respecting escorts don't even bother to tour the city...

    Honestly rick, I would not pay for OTC dances either but I don't feel puzzled or confused by guys who would. Some guys simply want a different level of intimacy than others for whatever reason. Different strokes for different folks and all. I don't know anything at all about clubs in the Cinci area but perhaps the OP feels that it's a worthwhile pursuit.
    Last edited by yoda57us; 04-02-2012 at 09:53 AM.
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    ^LOL. Very few around here have your time and experience in this Yoda, but I've been frequenting clubs for some time now and I have to say that I've never once seen this animal or had it offered, but I suppose that this could be as much a function of the fact that I have never pursued it as anything else.

    Now I understand that you and many others greatly enjoy lapdances, but OTC? In this day and age, almost every club offers LDs and I have to admit that I'm struggling to get my arms around why someone would go through the time and trouble to do that when dances are so readily available ITC. And when I imagine sitting on my hotel bed and getting a LD while some other guy sits in the room watching it all, the whole scene just seems ridiculous. Different strokes for different folks I suppose...

    Now you would know better than I how common it was prior to the turn of the century, but I suspect that it is not very common now. Most dancers currently filling the clubs are not the long-standing, seasoned vets that comprise your current stable of favorites and I suspect that most girls that started dancing in this century haven't had much experience in private, non-sexual OTC dances. For this reason, I suspect that guys like jordan and reject are going to have a bit of trouble finding what they are looking for. For the most part, when a girl hears "private dance at my hotel room", it is a euphemism for OTC sex.

    Anyway, just my
    If I want a private LD in a VIP booth/room (which that is the only way to be private ITC) then that costs extra money that could otherwise be spent on dances. Now, take that same amount of money OTC, and what happens? Not only does the customer get more dances, but the dancer also does NOT have to tip out to management. They never have to know about it.
    If dancers take it the wrong way, I could always try explaining it like I did here. Nothing to lose but a few minutes.
    Last edited by socialreject; 04-02-2012 at 10:36 AM.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    If I want a private LD in a VIP booth/room (which that is the only way to be private ITC) then that costs extra money that could otherwise be spent on dances. Now, take that same amount of money OTC, and what happens? Not only does the customer get more dances, but the dancer also does NOT have to tip out to management. They never have to know about it.
    If dancers take it the wrong way, I could always try explaining it like I did here. Nothing to lose but a few minutes.
    The two big problems are most clubs forbid such outside contact for 2 reasons...First it appears to be prostitution whether it is or not. Second, you're cutting them out of the equation. Also, a lot of girls would be reluctant to do this because of safety issues and in all likelihood would want to have security with them when meeting you and that might cost the same as the club's cut. I would think only time would even begin to alleviate their initial safety concerns.
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    If I want a private LD in a VIP booth/room (which that is the only way to be private ITC) then that costs extra money that could otherwise be spent on dances. Now, take that same amount of money OTC, and what happens? Not only does the customer get more dances, but the dancer also does NOT have to tip out to management. They never have to know about it.
    If dancers take it the wrong way, I could always try explaining it like I did here. Nothing to lose but a few minutes.
    What Bem said. In the club the dancer is on her home turf, she is relatively safe. OTC she is not. Escorts, at least the smart ones, have means of screening customers and take other safety precautions since it's their job to be alone in a room with their customers. Dancers do not.
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    What Bem said. In the club the dancer is on her home turf, she is relatively safe. OTC she is not. Escorts, at least the smart ones, have means of screening customers and take other safety precautions since it's their job to be alone in a room with their customers. Dancers do not.
    Well, I'll play the numbers game then. The more dancers I ask, the better the chance of finding the "one that will". Of course I won't do it at my club, I'll try it at a club I never go to first (no repercussions).
    So I suppose the only thing left to worry about are dancers going straight to the bouncers and having me thrown out for "propositioning".

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    If I want a private LD in a VIP booth/room (which that is the only way to be private ITC) then that costs extra money that could otherwise be spent on dances. Now, take that same amount of money OTC, and what happens? Not only does the customer get more dances, but the dancer also does NOT have to tip out to management. They never have to know about it.
    Idk how the economics work where you are, but in most places I go to there isn't much of a value-added proposition in bringing a dancer out for dances. Whether you pay the girl directly or the club, there is a cost involved in taking up a girl's time. And if she has to go through the trouble of seeing you OTC, you can bet she's going to want sufficient recompense for her time.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 04-03-2012 at 03:50 AM.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    My experience with private outcall dancing was with one dancer who said after I had seen her in the club once a week for about 3 weeks was, I will see you outside the club for about the same amount of $$$ for VIP dances in the club, only in the nude.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    How much are you willing to pay? It doesn't matter if all you're getting is dances, nobody will go with you if you think you're just going to pay $20/song or whatever. You will need to start in the four figures and expect to pay a deposit upfront.
    ....okay, I can pay an escort for 3 digits an hour. I would think no more than 400 to 500 for an hour. For Austin, as far as dancing goes, that's mad cash. Escorts around here charge from 250 to 350 an hour and that's for full-on SEX. So I think my offer is more than reasonable.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    ....okay, I can pay an escort for 3 digits an hour. I would think no more than 400 to 500 for an hour. For Austin, as far as dancing goes, that's mad cash. Escorts around here charge from 250 to 350 an hour and that's for full-on SEX. So I think my offer is more than reasonable.
    I think that you could eventually get it done for $400-500 per hour, at least once you convince a potentially willing dancer that you are not looking for sex.

    But you need to stop comparing the value of a dancer's time and effort to the cost of an escort. It is an apples to oranges comparison. The fact that she is just dancing for you does not diminish the fact that she is a club dancer whose time holds a certain value, particularly if she is doing something as unusual as traveling to your hotel room to give you an hour of non-stop private dances.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    ....okay, I can pay an escort for 3 digits an hour. I would think no more than 400 to 500 for an hour. For Austin, as far as dancing goes, that's mad cash. Escorts around here charge from 250 to 350 an hour and that's for full-on SEX. So I think my offer is more than reasonable.
    You've made the point yourself very nicely here.

    No dancer is going to believe that you're interested in dances only if you offer $400 an hour to go to your hotel room. So offering less -- as you've suggested here, based on what escorts charge for sex -- gets you absolutely nowhere.

    I believe BOTM's point is that if you're entirely honest and upfront about your intentions, you'll have to pay a significant premium for a dancer to overcome all the natural instincts screaming in her head that some nut-job wants to take her to his hotel room "just for dances."

    That scenario usually does not play out well for the dancer, so you get to be the guy who pays the huge differential to make it come true.

    BTW, I agree with the others that it's just a bad idea on its face. I understand that you could "play the odds" in new clubs and see if anybody takes you up on the offer, but no matter how you want to parse it in your own head, the realities of the club overrule all internal self-justifications.

    I don't mean this as a personal criticism at all, BTW. What I'm saying is that you're looking for furniture in a candy store. So you're going to have to jump through some major hoops not to come off as a bit of a whack-job, no matter how honest your intentions.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    How much are you willing to pay? It doesn't matter if all you're getting is dances, nobody will go with you if you think you're just going to pay $20/song or whatever. You will need to start in the four figures and expect to pay a deposit upfront.
    Never pay a "deposit" up front. It will almost guarantee that the dancer will be a no-show.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    BOTM obviously has her idea of what she thinks it would take to get the job done and she's certainly entitled to her opinion and her standards. In my experience, if you are so inclined, you can get a private session for significantly less than four figures. Of course, there are various price points available in all branches of the sex industry. You can pay $300 an hour for an escort or a grand if you want. Same goes for cam girls and even lap dances ITC...

    It's free enterprise after all...
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by socialreject View Post
    ....okay, I can pay an escort for 3 digits an hour. I would think no more than 400 to 500 for an hour. For Austin, as far as dancing goes, that's mad cash. Escorts around here charge from 250 to 350 an hour and that's for full-on SEX. So I think my offer is more than reasonable.
    Why don't you just pay an escort to do dances as opposed to paying a dancer to essentially be an escort (supposedly sans the sex)? Just don't tell the escort all you want are dances till she gets there.

    I'm also going to say that having a girl get you all worked up in a club and restraining yourself is one thing. I would expect it to be a lot harder to restrain yourself if the two of you are alone in a hotel room and you get all worked up. My guess is most dancers would see it the same way.
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    I wouldn't assume that an escort would automatically be good at doing lap dances. While there are similarities there are also differences. Some may be good at it, others may be lousy at it and many may think you are a whack-job for asking. In any event, I would say that if you can find an escort who provides good GFE service and perhaps has been a dancer in the past then it would be a good approach. Otherwise you are just rolling the dice and may not be happy with the results.

    Also, in my experience, guys who want to pay strippers to do anything OTC-dances or the full monty- seem to somehow think that what they are asking for is not illegal because they are hiring a stripper and not an escort. I've never quite understood this school of thought but, because of it, a lot of guys who will try to hire a dancer would never dream of calling an escort to do anything.
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    I really don't think it would be that difficult to contact escorts and ask if they've had any dancing experience. I know a bunch of girls who do both, and I have even seen ads that highlight their dancing. Why don't you do a search for "stripper" "dancer" and club names in your area in whatever review site you're on?
    Great advice. I would add that if you know how to use the internet it's pretty easy to find what you are looking for. The guys who think that escorts are all cold and mechanical are generally the ones who log onto Back Page and call the girl with the best picture-not realizing that it may be fake...
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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    All very sound responses. I am getting some impressions here. First impression I get is the assumption that it would take place in a hotel room. Obviously I haven't thought this through nearly enough. Of course it's going to be in a hotel room lol. I've been posting under the idea that it would be my place/her place (again, because there are escorts who do it this way).
    Okay, so the main issue is: because what I'm requesting is so unusual, no dancer worth her salt would be willing to do it for standard rates. So far, the best idea I've heard is what bem said: just get an escort and wait until she physically shows up at the door to let her know that I just want dances. Might be a good idea to start taking my clothes off to let her know I'm not wired, too (or LE).
    All I can hope for (I guess) is that sometime in the future escorts and/or dancers will be more open to the idea of no-sex OTC activities. I did a search here in Austin and there seems to be one (that's right, 1) escort who exclusively does lap dances and has an incall location. Unfortunately she does not fit my type of dancer, but I still consider this good news, FWIW.
    I also realized that the dancers here, according to the mods, are not typical. They are several cuts above the rest. So perhaps I am making a mistake asking about it here, as it seems that this type of thing is "beneath" them.
    Thank you all for your input.
    Last edited by socialreject; 04-06-2012 at 05:17 PM.

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    Default Re: Etiquette on asking about outcall dancing?

    If we got along well, shared a great connection dancing for you, and you popped that question, I simply will not.
    & I've met some genuinely real gentlemen before that we're fun to talk to, and got along sooooo well! It's a shame...
    But I just simply do not go out with people that's seen be naked, let alone meet someone I know NOTHING about!

  33. The Following User Says Thank You to Su Su For This Useful Post:


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