Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28

Thread: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

  1. #1
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Okay, heres the situation. I met my ex husband when I was 19 and already pregnant... We got married when I was 20, and were married for 4 years so we were together a total of 5 years. We've been divorced 11 years now. We got divorced because he had cheated on me...we worked our way through that, we went to counseling and he really did work with me to try and get our marriage back on track, but then when he was assigned a hardship tour for a year (meaning family cannot live with him) I moved back to my home state. During this time, he met someone, and this time we went ahead and filed for a divorce.

    It wasnt a bad divorce...when he told me he'd met someone, we hadnt seen each other in about 8 months. After our divorce was final, my ex and I didnt talk again until 3 years ago when he emailed me... Told me that he wanted to apologize for everything, that he was an idiot etc...and that I was the best woman hed ever had in his life and he made a huge mistake. He was still married to the woman he had met during his hardship tour, and I was with someone so I didnt really say much except to tell him I appreciate him telling me that. Every few months or so, hed ask how I was doing and check up on kiddo, but nothing too deep.

    Well, we've been in more contact lately, found out that him and his wife have divorced. Over the past year, hes always updating me on his job, things hes doing etc...and telling me that hes nothing like the guy he was that didnt take anything seriously and he has his life on track now. Yesterday he asked me a bunch of questions because he needs it for a security clearance, and needed info about our wedding/divorce dates and my bday info and stuff like that, and we got to reminiscing about our relationship. Last he said was that maybe all of that isnt over for us, and that hed like to come and visit me soon... I really dont even know how to respond to that, and have been turning it around in my mind all day...

    I guess that I would just like some outsider views about this. ...I dont know what to think or if I should see him or if I should leave it in the past, but then that would have me wondering what if... its been 11 years afterall, and for the past 3 years, hes been telling me all sorts of things to try and show me hes not like all the things that I was upset about when we were together. Anyway...thoughts anyone?
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  2. #2
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    deleted.
    Last edited by mediocrity; 06-17-2012 at 05:06 AM.

  3. #3
    Featured Member Jessica1001's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    931
    Thanks
    1,245
    Thanked 2,276 Times in 580 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Oh snap.

    Tread carefully.

    And be mindful of the child. This is his/her FATHER, and reintroducing this relationship will affect him/her in a major way, even if it's not apparent initially.

    I hope this is a positive thing, but pls guard your heart! :-/

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Jessica1001 For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    I was already pregnant when we met and started dating... She knows he is not her father, but still has a lot of good memories about him and when we were all together, neither of us harbor any bad feelings towards him. Still, I have a 4 year plan in place and anyway want to take that time to focus on getting my degree and my career started. So mostly, its just a matter of...if I do get involved with someone, they have to understand for the next few years my main priority is taking care of kiddo, and my own career goals. If I can help it, I wont be getting married or living with anyone until kiddo is off on her own. But still open to meeting and dating someone who understands this is where I am at this point in life.

    But yeah, definitely threading carefully with him, really dont even know what to think. The backup plan thing does play into my mind, but Im very guarded and usually err on the side of avoiding anything where I might end up getting hurt. But I also consider that if he wanted to be with someone else, he could easily pick and be with someone who he actually sees and spends time with, in comparison, I make a pretty bad backup plan lol I dont know if its hopeful thinking that I really did make that much of an impact that he truly does regret what he did, that after so many years, he seems intent on showing me hes a changed man. Or if a few years from now Ill be cursing myself out for falling for it.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  6. #5
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    USA, northeast
    Posts
    7,317
    Thanks
    30,600
    Thanked 17,691 Times in 5,185 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    wow this is a tough one.

    Best thing I can suggest is listen to your gut. Whenever I've made major mistakes it's always been because I didn't listen to that little voice. Doesn't make any difference what anyone else thinks, though it's interesting to see other's viewpoints. Nobody knows all the ins and outs of it except you.

    I think you will instinctively know which way to go in time, especially now with all the experiences in life you have behind you!

    Edited to add - I'm being deliberately vague here because I can see pluses and minuses and I really think the only person who can really see the whole picture here and get a good feel for what will make you happiest is you


  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to laurielegs For This Useful Post:


  8. #6
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    LoL! Oh Laurie! If I werent me, Id give the exact same advice My gut really isnt saying anything...like I dont have a bad feeling, but I dont feel all excited either. More like...hrmm..okay...this is interesting....let's seeeeeee

    Yeah, there are plus' and minus'...the biggest negative I see really is going back to a relationship that didnt work. But on the plus, its been 11 years and we have both changed since then, and have been getting along pretty well these past few years. I dont know, I guess that the least I could do is say sure, come on over At least see him and see how that goes. He would be the one making the trip, not me...so why not I guess.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  9. #7
    God/dess Nikki_Fox's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,292
    Thanks
    7,542
    Thanked 4,306 Times in 1,672 Posts
    My Mood
    Inspired

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Did I understand correctly that he was calling/contacting you while he was still married? If yes that's not a very good sign of a changed man. And if he has changed what about the changes you have made in the last 11 years? You are not the 20 year old he had before . You are a strong independent woman with goals who has taken care of herself and a child. You are also only hearing one side of the story of what he has been up to. It is easy to paint a nice picture from a long distance. It is much easier to say that when you are not emotionally involved in the situation. But as said above only you know all of your situation so trust your gut and proceed with caution.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Nikki_Fox For This Useful Post:


  11. #8
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    3,244
    Thanks
    2,454
    Thanked 4,800 Times in 1,707 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    You are getting played like a harp from hell.

    All of a sudden he's now divorced and calling you to provide information for his security clearance. Security clearances can take anywhere from 65-294 days, that's about 2 months to just under a year. Whatever happened between his last wife and him could have put some negative information out there about him. Now he's looking for you to paint him as this wonderful man and maybe get some sex and a few home cooked meals out of it while he plays daddy.

    I do believe he's a different man than who you knew, in other words he's worse. I would ignore his bullshit come on about how he "messed up". A mistake generally happens in an instant not 3 years. Seriously you are his fall back option.

    If you really want to know who he's been for the last 3 years go contact his last ex wife. Bet she has the same "he fucked around on me story" and didn't he meet her when he was supposedly working things out with you?

    Treading carefully is not needed. Just help him out with what he's after for security blah and go back to what you've been doing. Just say " we HAD a great time in the past" this is of course before you cheated on me ha right? Smile and remember again that while things were supposed to be worked out he found another woman to fuck and marry. If that's not enough to stay your current course I don't know what is.

    I'm generally blunt anyways but I'm trying to be more blunt here. "If it stings that means it's working". lol ( usually used when putting rubbing alcohol on a wound".)

    Also " Fool me once shame on you , fool me twice shame on me". He got two shots already. Now he's looking to fuck you over a third time? Just say no thanks.

    I just read" give him a chance" and " see where things go"? He's just a lazy guy that doesn't want to lie to someone knew all over again and go through hunting , dating , courting etc. That's not really that easy with a new person. But someone you have history with? Practically in the bag if you know how to tug on some old beat up emotional strings. This guy is good to be able to figure out the shortest distance between two points.

    Now I know my posts come across like "man hating posts" but how many people are putting up posts about wonderful men and how great they are? Generally when things are good there's nothing to talk about but to enjoy it. It's when someone feels something is off or they aren't being treated right that makes someone desire outside input. Instincts generally don't lie. If you feel something is off best stick with that inner voice because the first person that will say " I told you so" will be YOU!

  12. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to cherryblossomsinspring For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Newport Beach/Austin
    Posts
    218
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 156 Times in 72 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    There's a reason why you two broke up years ago.

    There's also a reason why you rarely hear people getting back together years down the line and it works out.

    People who apologize over actions they took years ago, especially over email are usually for selfish motives like baiting.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to The_Adict For This Useful Post:


  15. #10
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki_Fox View Post
    Did I understand correctly that he was calling/contacting you while he was still married? If yes that's not a very good sign of a changed man. And if he has changed what about the changes you have made in the last 11 years? You are not the 20 year old he had before . You are a strong independent woman with goals who has taken care of herself and a child. You are also only hearing one side of the story of what he has been up to. It is easy to paint a nice picture from a long distance. It is much easier to say that when you are not emotionally involved in the situation. But as said above only you know all of your situation so trust your gut and proceed with caution.
    Yup...though when he contacted me the first time he wasnt laying on any charm or being any kind of way, just apologizing for what he did, asked about how kiddo and I were doing, etc. I didnt really read much into it, I mean I let the past go, I dont harber stuff like that, and it was good to hear how he was doing. It never went further than that cause yeah, he was married and I was with someone when we first got in touch...he knows that guy and I broke up 2yrs ago, and about a year ago is when he said his marriage wasnt doing well, but it still was casual between us. Yesterday was the first he said anything about wanting to see me or anything like that.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to BlkSharpie For This Useful Post:


  17. #11
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    3,026
    Thanked 3,426 Times in 1,229 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    I kind of feel like people who already had damn good chances (two of them, in his case) aren't really worth another investment. Your other recent posts seem very positive, like you're ready for the future. I'd be wary of bringing an ex-husband back, because it just doesn't seem like a good prospect. Sure, being on friendly terms is quite pleasant, but you already know this guy and had your times with him. If it's long lost true love or whatever, that's badass. But you don't seem particularly thrilled about his advances--and wtf to him starting all this while still married? Instead of spending time/effort on him, you could spend it on your daughter and yourself, and have the option of meeting someone new who doesn't have all this baggage or any shitty reasons he has to "prove himself" to you. Having history with someone can be great, but idk if someone who became an ex for the reasons you listed is a good candidate for trust...

  18. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tuesdaymarie For This Useful Post:


  19. #12
    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,361
    Thanks
    4,895
    Thanked 1,926 Times in 738 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    I think things will become clearer to you once you hang out irl. From your posts it sounds like you're progressing..working towards a new career, possibly moving to a new city..and he just sounds like old baggage. This isn't the guy you helped with his business is it?

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to LaurenAus For This Useful Post:


  21. #13
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Oh Cherry! Well... its not all of a sudden...we have been in contact for 3 years now. I dont think he's lying about the info he needs...he already has one level of security clearance, and I guess he's going for another level because of a new position hes applying for...Im sure he had to provide the same info about this ex too, so I cant really say hes using my info instead of hers to look good. But wow the whole wifey role you described...lol I think hed freak out if thats what I turned into Ive always been guarded and independent (or in my own little world, for the most part lol)

    I dont know though, I wouldnt say hes full of bullshit and has no remorse. I do believe that it is possible for people to learn from their mistakes, and that it does happen where people feel regret for things they have done in their past. I wouldnt shoot him down and assume theres no way that he could be sorry, and angrily cut him out of my life for asking to see me? Nah, well, I woudlnt go that far or be harsh towards him...ts been 11 years, Ive gotten over my anger. Besides, its already been 3 years since I told him I appreciate his apology..I didnt thank him for it, or tell him it was okay, cause well, Im not grateful and it wasnt okay...but I did appreciate that he let me know. So Im not going to turn around now and take it back and say I dont believe it as if Im still angry with him. And yeah..Im not going to contact his ex wife.

    Yeah, like I said, my gut isnt telling me anything. I only know him very well, as he was 11 years ago. Who he is today? Only what he tells me, since its like we're getting to know each other all over again, but he hasnt said or done anything to spark up bad feelings or make me hate him or anything... At the same time, regardless of that, even if he is being totally genuine, do I *really* want to try again. And to take it further...I really have to laugh at myself cause its not even like we're even to that point where thats the decision Im making.

    For all I know, we will see each other, and Im not attracted, theres no spark, no interest between us, all or any of that. Im not just a puppet who needs my strings pulled a certain way...so Im not "in the bag" ...he was never controlling or manipulative like that. Its not so much that Im asking about his character, if hes lazy or a jerk or anything like that. I just wanted thoughts about reuniting with an ex after 11 years.

    Its not going to happen tomorrow So I have time to say yay, nay, of course, no way, and whatever else I can think of until the time comes if ever... I guess, Im just not sure how I feel about it at all, so its cool to get thoughts about how you all would feel in the same situation.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  22. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BlkSharpie For This Useful Post:


  23. #14
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    I kind of feel like people who already had damn good chances (two of them, in his case) aren't really worth another investment. Your other recent posts seem very positive, like you're ready for the future. I'd be wary of bringing an ex-husband back, because it just doesn't seem like a good prospect. Sure, being on friendly terms is quite pleasant, but you already know this guy and had your times with him. If it's long lost true love or whatever, that's badass. But you don't seem particularly thrilled about his advances--and wtf to him starting all this while still married? Instead of spending time/effort on him, you could spend it on your daughter and yourself, and have the option of meeting someone new who doesn't have all this baggage or any shitty reasons he has to "prove himself" to you. Having history with someone can be great, but idk if someone who became an ex for the reasons you listed is a good candidate for trust...
    Yeah, its totally true that I am looking forward to the future, and have been looking forward to a fresh start once kiddo is out and Ive moved and getting started in a new career. Integrating him back into my life, considering our history, no matter how cool things are between us now, is such a downer on its most basic level. You know what....I think you are right, that I am so apathetic towards this is a sign in itself that the whole prospect isnt that exciting.

    Quote Originally Posted by LaurenAus View Post
    I think things will become clearer to you once you hang out irl. From your posts it sounds like you're progressing..working towards a new career, possibly moving to a new city..and he just sounds like old baggage. This isn't the guy you helped with his business is it?
    Yeah, youre thinking about my most recent ex...or the ex before that maybe lol! They were both pretty supportive with my business. I was with my ex husband before I started freelancing, but we were together when I started teaching myself web design, and he was all for it. Thats one area with men Ive been lucky I guess...I always end up with guys who totally back up whatever it is I want to do But yeah, I do have my sights set on moving forward, I dont see anything wrong at all with remaining friends, but being with him again would be going backwards.

    It would be nice to see him though, I mean, would it be bad for me to want to see him after so many years...hes much older, and from the one picture he sent me of himself, he is no where near the shape he was back when he was active duty. And Im still hot. And that would make him feel even more sorry hehehe! Oh what a horrible reason. But Id totally do it
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  24. #15
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    This seems like a bad idea, and hopefully wont put you backawards into a negative path. You;re doing great for yourself and are a great mom. Think if its a good idea to introduce this man again into your life and your kids life.

    The fact that he was cheated you is number one mistake, then went on tour and met someone else and filed for dirvoce. While he was with this other woman, he contacted you, saying sorry and how he is a great guy and your the best person in the world and how he shouldnt have left you. He is guilty, isnt happy, looking for another paths but while he still had her and you both in contact. Thats not right. Him cheating, seems like a circle to go about. If at best, stay distant friends, but a relationship or anything close to that would just seem like a painful history. There are plently of men, he seems slick about his actions, like an ex-bf running back to his orginal gf after cheating and being all sweet and gentle. Thats what he is doing, he is being his best and putting on an act... If you want him in your life keep a distant friendship, but make sure to know him know he fucked up and he isnt going to do that again to you. Dont let your future get ruined because of his life actions.

  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kisca For This Useful Post:


  26. #16
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Im really glad I talked to you all before I said anything to him Helped a lot really...gave me time to think and stuff first...

    In the meantime, I got an email from my recent ex, hes on tour and was telling me how it was going. He has been calling me by my first name since well, it doesnt take much for me to go off on him, so hes been walking on eggshells around me. In his email he called me by his pet name for me and was being all sweet. Blah.

    Well earlier today, I had a work call with a guy I met last week...real cutie! I met him while out to see a friends band play, and he was the guys brother and was sitting in ...another friend told him I do web design and he said he needed his site redone, so I gave him my card to call me. So, were on the phone and hes like, so I knew you looked familiar, I asked my brother about you and he said youre D's gf! I totally remember you, we met like 2 yrs ago! And me Im like...*nervous laugh* yeah...thats me, well, kind of me, D and I broke up. And hes like..oh really? wow sorry, must have been recent didnt mean to bring that up. And Im like no....about 2 and a half years ago... *awkward silence* His brother plays in my ex's band and knows, whyd he tell him I was D's gf?!

    Anyway yeah, thinking about that...how this recent ex has started calling me by his pet name again, how this other ex is trying to get back into my life, I know that I need to keep moving forward and away from all of that entirely. Emotionally, Ive made way too much progress to fall back like that.

    ETA: And I really do hate that most of the people I know...still think that D and I are together!! We dont go out together, I never talk about him, Ive erased every trace of him from my FB and havnt mentioned him since our breakup. Very annoying...! My sister has laughed saying that not everyone around here knows D, but it feels like it...all the time people are stopping me and saying, hey arent you D's girl? Just last week at taco bell even seriously...and always totally shocked when I say we broke up years ago. I cant wait to move....
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  27. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BlkSharpie For This Useful Post:


  28. #17
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    1,529
    Thanks
    2,260
    Thanked 2,276 Times in 730 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    I dont believe that people really change. They just find new ways to lie to you.
    Last edited by lokikola; 11-12-2012 at 06:32 PM.

  29. #18
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Well, I wont give up hope.. I mean, yeah Ive had bad experiences in my relationships, and I know others have too... But I cant take from it that thats how all people are, otherwise there would be no point in trying with anyone.

    But yeah, this is more about where I am in life and what I want out of it, than whether he may or may not have changed, or what he did or didnt do...just that, Id like a fresh start in all aspects of my life, have a plan in place, and the reminder about that kind of helped me decide. There are so many other people in the world, and I would like to be with one who has treated me right from day one.

    And...I really dont want to end up forever alone So Ive got faith that there is a great guy out there for me.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  30. The Following User Says Thank You to BlkSharpie For This Useful Post:


  31. #19
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    I would tread with caution. If things work out, great.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  32. #20
    Banned
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    928
    Thanks
    320
    Thanked 816 Times in 358 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I'd meet up with him to catch up, but honestly it sounds like you're the back up plan.
    Took the words right out of my mouth. Good luck.

  33. #21
    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,338
    Thanks
    247
    Thanked 1,580 Times in 667 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    I dont believe that people really change. They just find new ways to lie to you.

    Sorry to be such a downer but I married and divorced the same man twice, and from that experience I have learned A LOT.

    Oh...I think people can change.......But it sounds like this one hasnt changed a bit:

    Cheated on BlkS once she forgave him...they worked it out...he cheated on her AGAIN and left her for another woman....then about 5 years into THAT relationship....he is looking to cheat on her contacting his ex...then divorced several years later(my guess is that he got caught once again cheating, and probably not for the 1st time)

    If you want someone who you can trust, you are going to have to look to someone who CAN be trusted and that isnt your ex.

    He sounds like he can apoligize and be sincere and believable with the best of them...It would probably be great for a while...but then in 2,3 5 years....you will be back to where you were when you were 25, feeling stupid for falling for it again.

    Keep the progress you have made, dont give it away.

  34. The Following User Says Thank You to lemiwinks31 For This Useful Post:


  35. #22
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    To be fair, I dont believe he contacted me 3 yrs ago looking to cheat, only because he never made any mention of anything like that. When he sent that email a couple days ago, it was the first time he said anything beyond asking me how I doing, talking about work and casual convo. Now, I do think he started thinking of me again because he wasnt happy, and he was sort of idealizing what our marriage was like and wanted to get back in touch. But he didnt make any moves and I wasnt giving him any green lights to.

    I totally agree though about being with someone I can trust...like I said, I want a fresh start in all areas of my life, and rather be with someone who has been good to me since day one. I dont want any nagging feelings, or to start reading between the lines and being paranoid or possessive looking for stuff cause of what he did to me and what hes capable of. Thats no way to live...
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  36. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BlkSharpie For This Useful Post:


  37. #23
    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,338
    Thanks
    247
    Thanked 1,580 Times in 667 Posts

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    Quote Originally Posted by BlkSharpie View Post
    To be fair, I dont believe he contacted me 3 yrs ago looking to cheat, only because he never made any mention of anything like that.

    Like I said....he sounds like he is good at it.


    Trust me...that was the groundwork. It your conversations would have continued back then, it would have progressed to that end.

  38. #24
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    3,076
    Thanks
    1,977
    Thanked 4,430 Times in 1,702 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    But our conversations did continue...we've been in touch since the first time he contacted me 3yrs ago. Thats why I dont understand the insistence that he has been saying things to come on to me and cheat on his wife with me... I know that I did not encourage or lead into that with any of our conversations and if he had, I would have cut him off cause Ive been cheated on way too many times to turn around and be the other woman. Over the past 3 years, we did not have any sort of inappropriate conversations...I dont have to prove myself here, but I am not at all like that and wouldn't have maintained contact with him if he even hinted at it.

    The conundrum was really just that he is now saying things like that he would like to see me etc. Hes divorced, so Im not questioning whether I should cheat with him behind his wifes back... Just that, considering he is a part of my past, and how long its been since we've seen each other, thoughts on the situation as it is right now.

    But yeah, like I said, Ive already decided to leave the past in the past. I dont mind continuing being friends, but I will leave it at that.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

  39. The Following User Says Thank You to BlkSharpie For This Useful Post:


  40. #25
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Ex-husband back in my life after 11 years

    The guy was obviously trying to get back with you before his marriage was over, and he already cheated on you twice. He hasn't changed, don't waste a single minute.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Going back at 30, after 4 years off
    By poleforfun in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 11-30-2013, 05:11 PM
  2. I'm back....after 2 years!
    By Hello_Kitty27 in forum Coming Out
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-19-2011, 06:55 PM
  3. Husband back from Iraq
    By papillonluvr in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-11-2011, 10:09 AM
  4. Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?
    By ShellyConnors in forum Life Support
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 01-27-2011, 04:05 PM
  5. First night back in 2 years
    By got2havespunk in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-17-2010, 02:42 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •