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Thread: Dancer Status ?

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    Default Dancer Status ?

    A while back, I was seeing this guy who I met at work (strip club). He was my Sugar Daddy and I enjoyed going out to dinner with him and then spending quality time together. He seemed classy, different from all the other guys I met at work. It felt like there was something special about him and honestly I was hoping we would get married.

    I worked without any vacations, five days a week for several years and got really burn't out and just quit and went on a vacation that lasted over a year. When I came back to the mainland my Sugar Daddy didn't seem super interested. We went out a couple of times but nothing like before and he got real tight with money.

    I sent him a text today to let him know I have been dancing again (for a while) and he got all excited again and wanted to come in and see me at my new club. I am just trying to juggle the situation in my head. I mean... I was for sure that he decided I wasn't attractive anymore or like there was something wrong with me but now he is all excited like before. I remember a long time ago he said something about telling all his friends about his stripper girlfriend and at the time I was like WTF? Really?

    But it seems to me that this guy is totally about being with someone who is dancing and when I quit dancing he was no longer into me, because all he cares about is being with a girl who is actively stripping so he can feel good about himself and brag to his friends.

    Is this unusual or is it common? Are guys into dating a stripper.. as long as she continues to strip? And does she loose her ability to be a man's status symbol when she quits dancing?

    Just curious, please share your thoughts ^_^ .

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    I guess it could be a status thing for him but it also seems possible that he may just have been involved with another woman when he was acting disinterested in you. You could ask him but I doubt you would get a straight answer.

    I don't know how common this kind of behavior is. We get a lot of guys posting here who want to know if they are "special" to a particular dancer based on her actions in the club but it's hard to tell if they are obsessed with dating a dancer or just in lust with a pretty naked woman that they met in the club.

    For myself it's about the woman, not her occupation. I like strip clubs. I'm comfortable in the environment so it's where I go to hang out. Because of this it's no coincidence that most of the women I've dated since I became single a few years ago have been dancers that I knew from the clubs. Some still dance, some have retired or are taking time off from dancing. Their status doesn't effect my feelings for them. The club just happens to be where I met them. Now, to be fair, I'm no sugar daddy and I'm not looking to get married again so my tendency is to socialize with women who are self-sustaining and also not interested in marriage or kids. I mention this because one's circumstances in life will drive what sort of woman and what sort of relationship he is looking for. The guy you are talking about here may be totally into playing the field and not getting serious.

    Lastly, there is definitely a tendency among some guys not to take dancers seriously as potential mates.
    As more than one dancer friend has told me...

    They will tell you that you are beautiful
    They want to date you.
    They want to have sex with you...

    But they don't want to marry you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post

    They will tell you that you are beautiful
    They want to date you.
    They want to have sex with you...

    But they don't want to marry you.
    Even though I have not dated any customers before, this sounds to be very legit. I've met countless men that's got that sparkle in their eye about spoiling me, give me what I want and all that's under the sun. & Dating me would be their dreams etc.
    You gotta know that 90% of these men are only after you cos you're a "stripper". When men that think "stripper", they think HOT and SEXY woman taking her kit off for money!! That's the hottest thing! Dating a babe that strips for money must be living a high life, she must be GREAT at sex! She must love to be sexy 24/7! But hey she's no marriage material, she's good to have fun and fuck with. But taking these girls serious? Hell no! Cos they get naked for money!

    That's my perception. So I wouldn't be surprised if your sugar daddy is no longer interested, cos it sounds to me he's only interested in your stripper persona. He enjoys that kind of a fantasy.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    I think there's a very good chance there's also an element of liking to have a girl who shows off and enjoying the fact that you have a girl that all the guys want to be with but YOU'RE the one she spends her quality time with.

    One of my best friends used to have a couple of regular "sugar daddy" type clients that she met through escort websites and one of them was always into showing her off at any chance when they were together. They would go out to a club and he'd make sure she dressed super sexy and have her go out and dance with guys, dirty dancing and everything, and then take her home from there. He just really got off on the idea of it.

    I dunno, a little different situation but some of the same elements.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I guess it could be a status thing for him but it also seems possible that he may just have been involved with another woman when he was acting disinterested in you. You could ask him but I doubt you would get a straight answer.

    I don't know how common this kind of behavior is. We get a lot of guys posting here who want to know if they are "special" to a particular dancer based on her actions in the club but it's hard to tell if they are obsessed with dating a dancer or just in lust with a pretty naked woman that they met in the club.

    For myself it's about the woman, not her occupation. I like strip clubs. I'm comfortable in the environment so it's where I go to hang out. Because of this it's no coincidence that most of the women I've dated since I became single a few years ago have been dancers that I knew from the clubs. Some still dance, some have retired or are taking time off from dancing. Their status doesn't effect my feelings for them. The club just happens to be where I met them. Now, to be fair, I'm no sugar daddy and I'm not looking to get married again so my tendency is to socialize with women who are self-sustaining and also not interested in marriage or kids. I mention this because one's circumstances in life will drive what sort of woman and what sort of relationship he is looking for. The guy you are talking about here may be totally into playing the field and not getting serious.

    Lastly, there is definitely a tendency among some guys not to take dancers seriously as potential mates.
    As more than one dancer friend has told me...

    They will tell you that you are beautiful
    They want to date you.
    They want to have sex with you...

    But they don't want to marry you.
    One again Yoda on the mark. My personal experience with this is yes there are men who love the idea of dating (or let's be honest)having sex with a hot stripper. However getting serious and marrying? nope, sorry that is blunt but that's how it was when I danced. I have discussed before but many of the guys I dated had no interest in marrying me because while I was hot girlfriend material I was not (to them)wife material. Now during my peak dancing career I had no interest in marriage so it was a bit different, but once I started to seek marriage many of these men disappeared. I had no interest in marrying any of them but to so many guys the fantasy is just that. I can't help but wonder if the reason my one ex (who I met dancing)got flakey because when we met I was dancing and when we reconnected I was not for the most part. That's why for me and for most dancers the number one rule is to never let your heart rule your head when it comes to customers and look at it as financial.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Thank you for the replies ^_^

    I have a weird feeling about him. There was a lot of drama, backstabbing and gossip at the club where he would come to see me. And I am thinking that maybe I shouldn't tell him where I am working at now. I worry he became one of the "girls" by engaging in the gossip thing. And if he only wants the stripper "persona" then I don't think it is worth the risk of muddying up my new pond with someone from my old club.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by lifetravelergirl View Post
    Thank you for the replies ^_^

    I have a weird feeling about him. There was a lot of drama, backstabbing and gossip at the club where he would come to see me. And I am thinking that maybe I shouldn't tell him where I am working at now. I worry he became one of the "girls" by engaging in the gossip thing. And if he only wants the stripper "persona" then I don't think it is worth the risk of muddying up my new pond with someone from my old club.
    Yeah, sounds like he liked the drama of "dating a stripper." He probably was hoping he could go into the club and get the other girls to become jealous of you because of all the money he was spending on you, maybe hoping that one of them would try and steal him away from you, seeing what they had to offer him, etc. Some guys get off on conflict between women. You know, "catfighting" and all that.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Very interesting perspective Keith O_O !

    Thank you, I never would have put that together but it makes sense.

    It is just so strange, because for a while he kept talking about how he was going to take me to his house, take me on a trip, introduce me to his coworkers... Then as suddenly as that talk began it ended.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    I think a lot of what goes on in the clubs is essentially nothing more than a chess match between customer and dancer, each looking to maximize whatever benefit they are looking to get out of the situation. It comes with the territory.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    As others have said in one way or another, I suppose that it is one thing to have a Sugar Baby who is a stripper, but quite another to be dating a former stripper who may be looking for something serious. It seems pretty clear that he wants the former, but perhaps not the latter.

    While you are stripping, it is safe for him to spend time and money on you as you also have your own independent source of income, which means that he can comfortably deal with you on an NSA basis. But dating you when you are NOT dancing holds a lot of uncertainty in terms of what your expectations of him might be, which I'm guessing is why he was so tight with the money. I'm sure that questions like: "What does she want from me?/Is she expecting me to support her?/Is she looking for a relationship?" were rattling around in his head, which no doubt made him a bit cautious.

    Keep in mind too that you took off for over a year. Even if he had thought of you as a potential long-term option before, that fact alone had to make him think a little. Also, after that long an absence, it is hard to just pick up where one left off. And for all he really knew, you could have decided at any time that you were not going to return, or that you would extend it longer, or, etc., etc. Now I have no doubt that you stayed in contact with him, but that is not the same as ongoing in-person interactions.

    Anyway, good luck with all of this!

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    It's no wonder that dancers generally don't want to have anything to do with dating customers. If it's not guys looking for a trophy GF it's the ones who want to "save" you from dancing...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    You were the "unattainable Girl" bragging rights, elusive, outgoing yet with drawn. When you quit dancing, you were just another beautiful girl at the social event, attractive but, like the others.

    As a Stripper your a Prize worthy of the Chase.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    For some guys the thrill of the hunt is better than the kill.
    I'm not a hunter but I would imagine It's like spending all day in the woods chasing around some poor animal then when you finally kill it you hold it up and take pictures of it and show all your friends. When you chop it up and cook it you realize the meat taste like shit.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    It's no wonder that dancers generally don't want to have anything to do with dating customers. If it's not guys looking for a trophy GF it's the ones who want to "save" you from dancing...

    I wouldn't mind being saved from dancing ^_^ . And this guy had the means to provide the two of us with a fun life. He seemed like a rose among thorns, he was really unique. He made me feel comfortable. Most customers who want to see me outside of the club just give off the rapist vibe or the cheap vibe or the scary vibe.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by hardnfast View Post
    For some guys the thrill of the hunt is better than the kill.
    I'm not a hunter but I would imagine It's like spending all day in the woods chasing around some poor animal then when you finally kill it you hold it up and take pictures of it and show all your friends. When you chop it up and cook it you realize the meat taste like shit.
    I'm a little worried about the last part of that analogy O_O but thank you for the insight ^_^

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by hardnfast View Post
    For some guys the thrill of the hunt is better than the kill.
    I'm not a hunter but I would imagine It's like spending all day in the woods chasing around some poor animal then when you finally kill it you hold it up and take pictures of it and show all your friends. When you chop it up and cook it you realize the meat taste like shit.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I guess it could be a status thing for him but it also seems possible that he may just have been involved with another woman when he was acting disinterested in you. You could ask him but I doubt you would get a straight answer.

    I don't know how common this kind of behavior is. We get a lot of guys posting here who want to know if they are "special" to a particular dancer based on her actions in the club but it's hard to tell if they are obsessed with dating a dancer or just in lust with a pretty naked woman that they met in the club.

    For myself it's about the woman, not her occupation. I like strip clubs. I'm comfortable in the environment so it's where I go to hang out. Because of this it's no coincidence that most of the women I've dated since I became single a few years ago have been dancers that I knew from the clubs. Some still dance, some have retired or are taking time off from dancing. Their status doesn't effect my feelings for them. The club just happens to be where I met them. Now, to be fair, I'm no sugar daddy and I'm not looking to get married again so my tendency is to socialize with women who are self-sustaining and also not interested in marriage or kids. I mention this because one's circumstances in life will drive what sort of woman and what sort of relationship he is looking for. The guy you are talking about here may be totally into playing the field and not getting serious.

    Lastly, there is definitely a tendency among some guys not to take dancers seriously as potential mates.
    As more than one dancer friend has told me...

    They will tell you that you are beautiful
    They want to date you.
    They want to have sex with you...

    But they don't want to marry you.
    I agree, Yoda you are very correct.

    I do want to ad something to this. and I want apologize in advance if i offend anybody.

    What bothers me the most, is that there is to many guys, who thinks that dating a striper is really cool and wanted to brag about it to there friends like some of OP have already said. and I believe like Yoda that this guys only wants to see you or call you his GF/lover as long as you work there. I don’t think this guys is serious. Being that my Gf is a stripper (sorry Unbelievable I had to bring my GF into this..heheh). we want to get married one day, and our plan is that she will stop stripping around Xmass, as long as we have all our finance together witch it looks like we will be able to. I do not go around bragging to my friends that I am dating a stripper, to me she is my GF, that is all that matters, some of them know what she does, but they also respect her and don’t go and see here at the club.

    Guys who thinks that it is cool to date a stripper, and do it just becasue they think it is cool, so they can brag about it, are Assholes in mind, and have no respect for the women, the same with guys who only wants to date a striper and dont want to marry them. if you really care about some one and you love them then it should not mater that they are stripper.

    So I want to apologize on behave of men who have disrespected striper this way, and let you know, a secure and true man will not hold it against you that you work as a stripper, and will respect you for it.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Sorry as a guy, I wanted to chime in. I have been dating a dancer on and off for the past 4 months and I mean on and off only because each of us had other things pop up that we had to take care of. Yes we met where she worked. Maybe I am an exception but I have never tried to change the fact that she dances. I've been around the block and I understand that it is her job and if I feel any jealousy or insecurities then it is my own issue. I have never thought of her as a trophy in spite of the fact that I feel very lucky to be with her. If anything I have been "ripped a new one" from my friends for dating a dancer. Again, my thoughts on that were it's his problem not mine. To top it off, there is an 18 year age gap between us, we are both single parents with very young kids and I was coming out of an abusive relationship. So in the grand scheme of things, most people would think that things are doomed to failure. But who gives a rat's ass what other people think about us. We really enjoy each other's company and we both make each other happy. We don't hide anything from one another and she has an innate gift of making me laugh and smile.
    Coming out of a really crazy situation, my radar is heightened for warning signs. Not only does she not set anything off but she really makes me feel at ease. So my advice to all of you is to trust your own instincts. Protect yourself, yes but don't put up an impenetrable wall. By all means, if you get some really strange vibes then pay attention to them and again, protect yourself. Stranger things have happenned. I'm hearing a lot of cynicism on this thread and maybe that is due to their experiences. I just think have an open mind and let chips fall where they may. By the way, we have not introduced our kids to each other and nor have we had sex yet. The time will be right for all of that in due time.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    ^ I agree with you completely and I am confused why a stripper would be considered a trophy wife just for the virtue of being a stripper.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by eatnow View Post
    I'm hearing a lot of cynicism on this thread and maybe that is due to their experiences. I just think have an open mind and let chips fall where they may. By the way, we have not introduced our kids to each other and nor have we had sex yet. The time will be right for all of that in due time.
    Feel free to get back to us when you actually have a relationship with a dancer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by eatnow View Post
    I'm hearing a lot of cynicism on this thread and maybe that is due to their experiences. I just think have an open mind and let chips fall where they may. By the way, we have not introduced our kids to each other and nor have we had sex yet. The time will be right for all of that in due time.
    Self-delusion is a bitch because of the delusion part. Also, the self- part.

    I will say that if this is real, the girl is really quite good.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    It's no wonder that dancers generally don't want to have anything to do with dating customers. If it's not guys looking for a trophy GF it's the ones who want to "save" you from dancing...
    Agreed. I don't go to stripclubs looking for a girlfriend, my life is fucked up right now. I go for the tits and the fantasy. That being said if I happened to click with and started dating a dancer I wouldn't be treating her as a trophy GF, nor would I act as sugar daddy. If I get married I want to be loved for me and I offer the same deal and occupation doesn't enter into it. Still that is all theoritical as I haven't fallen for dancer, nor one for me.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Quote Originally Posted by eatnow View Post
    Sorry as a guy, I wanted to chime in. I have been dating a dancer on and off for the past 4 months and I mean on and off only because each of us had other things pop up that we had to take care of. Yes we met where she worked. Maybe I am an exception but I have never tried to change the fact that she dances. I've been around the block and I understand that it is her job and if I feel any jealousy or insecurities then it is my own issue. I have never thought of her as a trophy in spite of the fact that I feel very lucky to be with her. If anything I have been "ripped a new one" from my friends for dating a dancer. Again, my thoughts on that were it's his problem not mine. To top it off, there is an 18 year age gap between us, we are both single parents with very young kids and I was coming out of an abusive relationship. So in the grand scheme of things, most people would think that things are doomed to failure. But who gives a rat's ass what other people think about us. We really enjoy each other's company and we both make each other happy. We don't hide anything from one another and she has an innate gift of making me laugh and smile.Coming out of a really crazy situation, my radar is heightened for warning signs. Not only does she not set anything off but she really makes me feel at ease. So my advice to all of you is to trust your own instincts. Protect yourself, yes but don't put up an impenetrable wall. By all means, if you get some really strange vibes then pay attention to them and again, protect yourself. Stranger things have happenned. I'm hearing a lot of cynicism on this thread and maybe that is due to their experiences. I just think have an open mind and let chips fall where they may. By the way, we have not introduced our kids to each other and nor have we had sex yet. The time will be right for all of that in due time.
    "Pessimism is not a survival trait" -Captian Dylon Hunt. Seriously people are judging without knowing any of the people involve. I'm not going to jump any conclusions about people I've never met. Could it be a scam on her part against this guy? Yes. Does she deserve to be pronounced guilty until proven innocent? No.

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    LOL, you can call it "judging" if you want but what we are doing here is participating on a discussion board. Opinions, and that's all they are, will often differ. If they didn't the discussions would be very short...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Dancer Status ?

    Ha, interesting point my goal wasn't to stifle discussing, just to make my point that we don't know the people invovled.
    Last edited by Omegaphallic; 05-15-2012 at 04:26 PM.

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