After a little over 6 years I think I'm hanging my heels up for good. I had been thinking about it for a while and although I hadn't planned on quitting, it's time.
Why?
I have been making good money. I returned from my last trip from Vegas, which was very successful and took a couple weeks off. During that time my recurring migraine attacks flared up. Probably due to the fact I was drinking and working like crazy in Vegas (alcohol being a trigger.) My week off turned into two then three, etc. During this time, not working late exhausting nights at the club, I still did work for my families business mostly from home as most days I was too sick to leave the house. Some days I was "ok" enough to do things around the house but just quiet activities. Other than the trips to the grocery store, bank and doctors I had to find things to occupy myself.
I started reading again for the first time in years, something I used to relish, when my head could take it. Then, I started gardening. Just planting some things around the house which led to a book about gardening and then one on sewing and crocheting and more.
I used to love these things.
When I was young my mum fed us fresh veggies and fruit, spring through fall, from the garden. I remember her making pies from fresh berries she picked from the woods and that was our dessert. And fresh canned jam. Oh. My. God. How delish! And she sewed us everything and anything our hearts desired. And she made and sold these beautiful dreamcatchers and beaded jewelry. And she taught all of us. I used to love doing these things.
I had forgotten. How to do these things and how much I enjoyed it. How did I lose myself? I had completely forgotten WHO I was and I didn't even realize it. I was so consumed by the glamazon, money hungry hustler I had become, I completely destroyed my true self and spirit.
It's only been about a month and a half. It feels like decades though, since I've been in the club.
I'm not going back. I can't even see myself working in any club. Luckily my truck will be paid in two months. I have a plan to sell it, pay off my debt, then buy a nice sensible hybrid and just have a small car payment. NO more credit cards. If my truck wasn't paid for I probably wouldn't be able to quit so I'd say my spiritual revelation came just when it needed to.
As suggested by my neurologist and chiropractor I started yoga. (It's amazing and I highly recommend it to anyone.) I like it so much I may become an instructor in the future. I'm taking this time to get to know myself and I'm really enjoying it. I just finished a dreamcatcher and I've got a few sewing projects in the works and a million other on the table. I will open up a little Etsy store and hopefully make a little extra money. My other job doesn't pay much but will take care of my bills. Simple and happy life.
I feel so utterly free and happy I can't explain it. I'm a nicer person. Seriously. I've always been a sweet heart but my disposition has literally changed.
My sister tells me stories about going out with the girls from work or stories from the club and I laugh with her, but I don't feel like I'm missing out. I'm just grateful I am only hearing about it and not living it. I don't feel a part of that "world" any more. I remember how much better I like myself without makeup and nail polish and wasting all that time on it. I'm not the materialistic person I had become.
I'm slowly reorienting myself back into the "normal" world. My sister and I used to joke about this when I was still dancing but, you really do need to do this! Life is different socially when your in the normal world as a stripper. I'm getting to spend more time with my mom and I've been to see some friends. Who knew I LIKED going out and being social...don't even want to get paid for it. I feel like I can have a boyfriend maybe now. I can even be up by 8am and make it to appointments. I really feel like I'm rejoining society.
So just to wrap it up...I'm not saying I regret my time on the pole. I had some great times, met some great people and it let me lead a life style that was very comfortable and let me go when and where I pleased. I suppose I'm very lucky. I was able to get out AND get back to who I was. Well I'm still working on that. I hope the newbies will think about that as they are entering the sex worker world. And to the veterans reading about my experience....hopefully it's inspiring or, at the very least, insightful!
I'll still be poking around from time to time but you probably won't see much of me anymore. Good luck to everyone!![]()




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