Hi im a webcam girl living in Ireland, just feeling down lately and I think I have a right to be down . Im living at home with my mother and my two sisters and 1 brother . I was living in london with my bf and my mother made me feel guilty by ket asking me to come home im 21 anyways btw. Im home the last 3 months and feeling so useless my mother keeps threatening to throw me out , shes unmentally stable and very cruel , Im mixed race and so is my 2 other sisters I come from a family of 5, so my mam always has called us cruel racist names regarding the asian race u u name it shes said it, since i can remember while my two other brother and sister aged 11 and 7 who are fully white in her eyes just get called names also fat,handicap,retarded etc... and our fathers play no part in this they are wasters btw
I try escape by webcamming but shes found out what i do so this adds to more name calling whore slut... then she's gone and got the internet cut out so i went and got my own little internet dongle that u just plug into the usb so now shes gone and taken the laptop away and my modem which i pay for , I can never make enough hours online because she roars and screams constantly small house. I feel very down and depressed over this , I dont even feel like camming i feel like a child all over again.
I cant move in with my bf as his mother isnt the best either, and friends i cant even trust them i ve been betrayed by them so much . I now have to move out in 3 weeks time or she says i can move into a homeless shelter, and i have to pay off her old internet bill of 250 that she says i ran up .so thats about 1000-1200 euro needed in three weeks time and I really don't know if im that popular of a cam model to make that , otherwise im in trouble. shes nice sometimes just very crude and well kinda selfish always talking about suicide and stuff all day long ''her mother and brother committed suicide in the last 4 years ''. I understand shes depressed /bipolar but i hate that she hates us deep down and says it daily . I feel so bad writing this i just want i dunno help and advice on how to fix my life and my families



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