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Thread: Moving out on my own

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Su Su's Avatar
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    Default Moving out on my own

    This is gonna be a bit of a rant here, but I just want to know if I am wrong...
    So I have this problem with my sister that I'm currently living with. I don't want to live with her any more because I prefer to live on my own, but the problem is that 6 months ago I went to live at her place for a short while because I was dealing with my relationship with my partner, which I decided to split up with at the time (we are still married). After living with her for about a month or so, we decided to move in together because I had all my things from when I lived with my partner.
    I thought I was 100% sure that we weren't gonna be together again, and that living with her was gonna be fine.
    She quitted her full time job for a silly reason, and so I wasn't in any rush to move because we were still finding places that were in our budget, but she wanted to move as soon as possible because she didn't like her landlord for quite a few reasons, and my stuff took up space.

    My partner and I eventually got our relationship sorted again, but my sister and I already started to move to our new apartment. Things eventually got a little out of hand because my partner and my sister weren't ever fond of each other. There was an incident that happened where my sister and I were sorting out our split expenses on a piece of paper, and my partner wondered why I'm splitting my money for some things that are for her and not me. I didn't think it was right either, so talked to her about how I shouldn't be paying for things that are not mine, and she started getting angry about how he is getting me to turn against HER, and that I'm his "mindless puppet". (Okay, so there were times while my partner and I were fighting, there were certain things my partner had said about her, that I shouldn't have told) When I wanted my partner to stay the night in my room, she verbally threw him out telling him he isn't welcome here, how she HATES him, and that he is never allowed to come here. He was leaving the country either way for a while because of work reasons, and since we patched things up, I wanted to spend much time as I can with him before he left. But I have the same rights as her for who brings who over right? Not like I'm gonna bring him out and cause havoc to the place, but it's OKAY for her to bring her boyfriend over and straight out tell me they had sex on the couch in the living room... Now that disgusts me. I wouldn't ever do that.
    .
    Fast forward to 2 months left on our contract for this apartment, I decide I'm not really happy living with her because I get no privacy because she constantly comes into my room. Rent is expensive, she also guilt trips me (it's like I'm not allowed to lie in bed, be on my computer all day if I wanted to) she'll start doing cleaning around the place without saying anything to me. & When we get into an argument she'll say that I'm useless and that she does everything around the place. But neglects to remember that I clean TOO. From then on I get uncomfortable that she always does things for me (such as bring food to me in my room), because I know she'll just use it against me when we fight.

    I made up an excuse that my partner is coming back for a long while, and that I'm gonna live with him again. But he really is just staying for 1-2 weeks. (obviously she won't want him to stay with us). She got pretty upset telling me she was happy where she lived before and that I'm fucking her over. But we're gonna move out from here either way because the rent is increasing to an extra $25 after our contract finishes. She said she can't afford a place by herself, but I tell her neither can I. & I'll definitely wouldn't want to stay if the rent is going to increase. I'll just be apartment sharing, and suggest that she can do that too. But she doesn't want to share with anyone.

    My partner is gonna come back, and I prefer he doesn't spend hundreds to a grand in hotels. I decided living with her wasn't really what I wanted. Is it still wrong that I want my independence and just live out on my own?

  2. #2
    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving out on my own

    She cant force you to keep living with her...and it anyway seems shes turning into a wreck living with you. Beyond the convenience of shared expenses, I dont see a lot of good things coming out of this. Your lease is up in 2 months, let her know you are moving, start looking for a place..whatever she does at that point is up to her. But you cant adjust your life and set aside your peace and happiness just because she doesnt feel like having a roomate or getting a less expensive place.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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  4. #3
    Veteran Member Su Su's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving out on my own

    Thanks! That's what I thought!

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    Default Re: Moving out on my own

    Good advice. I was in the same boat recently... not fun times!

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