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Thread: don't know what to do :(

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    Sad don't know what to do :(

    So tonight was my 3rd time dancing and by far the worst. I'm at a loss as to what to do, I try to be assertive and make guys stop touching me but it only seems to encourage them (I don't mind a lil contact but when they try to get in my underwear it makes me sick) and I can't just quit because I need the money. Even the girls think i'm stuck up or something for not being a prostitute, but I refuse to live like that. I feel terrible everytime I leave there because I know i'm not in a good club but the other clubs are just as bad from what I hear. Sorry to get on here and mope, i'm just feeling really down today
    Any advice for a scared beginner?

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    Default Re: don't know what to do :(

    I think many of us have been where you are. I started at a HORRIBLE club here in town - when I asked the newbiest newbie question of all time, "How do I give a lapdance?" I was told by the other dancers to take him in back, and then what to do to keep from getting caught sucking his dick. For $20. I worked there 3 weeks - I would dance on stage, and then hide in the dressing room. If we had customers, I didn't come out of the bathroom. It was AWFUL.

    I'm in a better place today - literally, I work at two MUCH better clubs. I would start by going to clubs in your area as a CUSTOMER - before you decide to work there, look around. Meet a couple waitresses, see a couple dancers do their thing on stage. WATCH a lapdance being performed. Ask a bouncer/host for a tour of VIP if they have it. Keep your eyes and ears open - you'll be better off knowing if there's shady/nasty shit going on BEFORE you decide to work there.

    I don't mind a little contact in my dances either - but I have the rule "No mouth, no pussy." Do NOT put your mouth on me, and do NOT try to stick your hands ANYWHERE near my underwear. There will be problems. I have a 3-strikes rule that I ENFORCE. First time, they get a gentle warning: "Oops, honey! Can't have you putting your hands there! *giggle*" Second time, I get firm: "Look, I explained to you at the start of the dance and already had to remind you once. DO NOT TOUCH ME LIKE THAT. If you do it again, I am going to stop dancing." Third time, I do exactly that. I take my money and I walk away.

    You have to remember - you're tiny, cute, and half naked. Guys are not going to take you seriously unless you REALLY put your foot down. I, however, would much rather be overly assertive and BITCHY than uncomfortable, scared, or worse.

    Fuck what the other girls think. Seems like you need to start looking at other clubs in your area - head over to Club Chat and search for your area/town and find a couple better clubs.
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
    ...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."

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    Default Re: don't know what to do :(

    Thank you so much I appreciate the advice and i'm going to have to learn the three strike rule (or how to enforce it) and i'm definitely going to start looking for a new club. I'm glad to hear from another dancer that actually respects herself than from veteran prostitutes who's only advice is, you don't suck or Fuck now but you will, you get used to it : /

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    Default Re: don't know what to do :(

    is this really how houston is?
    this is difficult, and i feel for dancers who have these experiences because i had my hand held by every dancer in the club when i started working. and the idea of working in a club where sexual assault is the norm...you need to do what you need to do to protect yourself.

    yes, finding a better club is ideal, but also, be observant. there must be one dancer (i hope) who does not permit touch without her consent or has cute ways of hand-dodging or sexy dominant ways of limiting contact. sometimes, seeing someone else do it will help you learn how to do it.

    best

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