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Thread: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

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    Member hardnfast's Avatar
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    Default How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Hi ladies,

    How do I politely let you know that I'm not interested in you and don't want you to sit with me? I'm very friendly and polite person and when I go to a club I like hanging out with girls and talking but I also spend money on dances. There are some girls that I really just don't want to talk to or waste my time or theirs. This might be because of looks, attitude, race or just the vibe I get from them.

    If I'm asked if it's ok to sit with me I usually just say I'm waiting for somebody or I'm about to leave but I feel stupid lying. It really annoys me when a pushy girl just sits down and starts her hustle. Some girls try with the chit chat forever before even asking for a dance. How do I get rid of these girls? Sometimes in these situations I just say I'm only came for a beer and not getting any dances but then again I feel stupid when the see me a few minutes later with another girl.

    What I really want to say is hey your just not my type and I would prefer not to hang out with you but don't want them telling other girls I'm an ass hole or anything.

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    There are about a half dozen recent threads on this very topic, which is probably why nobody has responded to this one.

    I usually say something to the effect of, "I'm not really looking for company at the moment, but thank you.", in a calm and polite manner. 19 times out of 20 this is enough to get the job done without too much fuss. And in the other 1 time out of 20 where she is persistent and doesn't seem to get it, I'll usually be a bit more direct and let her know that I'm really looking for something else. Again, I'll do so calmly and politely and, in most cases, this will move things along. Even most persistent girls do not want to waste their time if they have no shot of closing a sale.

    And in those very rare cases where a girl will just not stop even when I have told her that I'm not interested in her, then it becomes time to be less polite and even more direct. I don't see this too often, but it can happen, particularly with girls who have aggressive hustles or are simply desperate.

    Anyway, good luck.

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    Member hardnfast's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Thanks for the reply. I'm reading up on some of the other discussions and searching (should have done that before posting)

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    IMO, you should be upfront. i appreciate guys who are up front because time is money. you dont like me, someone else will and we will have a great time. theres nothing wrong with being honest- as long as youre not disrespectful or mean about it. every dancer should have thick skin because this is a sales job, if they dont like rejection- they should find another job because rejection is something they should of accepted when they decided to dance.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    I'd rather be told this upfront than waste my time and yours. The best thing is when a dancer stops to talk just be blunt and say I don't want company. That way it's nothing personal. The worst was when a guy wasn't interested and told me upfront which was needed. He could have just said no thanks and I'd be on my way.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Yep... Just tell me. The side effect of all this money is my thick skin.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    "I'm not interested in company right now. Thank you anyway! *smile*"
    "I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them"
    - Mae West

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Being cheap or not paying at all is a good way to get us to leave.. that always works!!!

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    ^ Not always...there is a dancer I work with who will just sit with a guy and stay there indefinitely. Just...sitting. No talking. No dancing. It looks like the most awkward thing in the world, and if the guy doesn't get up and move, no one else can go over to him because she's still technically sitting with him. Drives me crazy. The only time she'll leave is when she goes on stage, and then I make a beeline over to the guy, and nine times out of ten he'll buy a dance and seem very relieved to have different company. But then when I go on stage, she'll go back and plop herself down next to him, and the cycle starts all over again. I truly do not understand why she does it. She's obviously not making money off of him, and what's more, she's not even trying...she's just preventing the rest of us from making money off of him. I find myself getting very excited when I'm working a shift she isn't.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    as others have said, ill usually tell them im not trying to waste their time and say no thank you but I appreciate the offer, or just finishing my drink, etc etc. I respect the dancers who come back and say no problem honey, my name is xxx if you change your mind. some dancers will storm off like 3 year olds......I tend to lol and am glad I didnt get a dance at that point.

    and ladies...just because I do say no, doesnt mean im not interested at all. so try and be polite because I can very well take you up on an offer later.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    ^ Not always...there is a dancer I work with who will just sit with a guy and stay there indefinitely. Just...sitting. No talking. No dancing. It looks like the most awkward thing in the world, and if the guy doesn't get up and move, no one else can go over to him because she's still technically sitting with him. Drives me crazy.
    Exactly. There are some girls who will sit there forever if you let them, hoping that you will eventually get drunk or bored enough to break down and buy dances. Unfortunately, there are guys who reward this bad behavior, which just reinforces the approach for these girls.

    I have very little patience for girls who do this and I send them away pretty quickly, usually by telling them that I'd just like to chill out/be by myself for a while, with a smile of course but also with a firm look. But there are plenty of guys who cannot bring themselves to do this, which leads exactly to what you were talking about.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 04-15-2012 at 06:12 AM.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalllia View Post
    "I'm not interested in company right now. Thank you anyway! *smile*"
    This line worked for me seven or eight times last night before the dancer I was at the club to see made it over to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Last time I was at a club, a month or two ago, a strange girl approached me and asked for a dance. I very politely said "no thanks, I'm here with some friends (including a former dancer) visiting our bartender friend". The girl sat down anyway. I considered offering her a drink but she started bitching at me, so I told her "look, if you want a dance, you better get your ass up and moving because I already tried to tell you I wasn't interested". At that point, I just turned my back and joined the conversation with my friends. She left 30 seconds or so later. My friends later joked that I hadn't "had words" with a dancer in years since one of my dancer friends at the club and I used to go at it every few months or so. While it generally works,sometimes politeness isn't effective enough.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    I think the best point here to make is the faster you get them to move along, the faster she can go to another customer and not waste time with you. Maybe a bit more terseness and/or uptight attitude on the customer part will insure a hasty departure? OTOH word can travel fast about customers, so unless you are already a regular, I suppose politeness is best at first.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Just ask if shes available OTC.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    Thanks for all the suggestions. Went to a club last night and no time was wasted. If anyone just sat down without asking I was going to say "Do you have change for a 5 so I can tip you" but never had the chance.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    The other night I was at a club with a couple of friends and 2 dancers decided to approach 2 of us. The one who sat with me asked if I wanted a dance. I replied politely sorry but I was good. She asked why not and in a sudden rush of honesty I said she wasn't my type. My exact words. That did the trick and she rushed off. The other girl while still sitting on my friend asked what set her off. I told her what happened and she then asked me if she was my type. I said honestly I'm sorry but no. Well she took off like a bat out of hell. I wasn't trying to be mean and in my defence both girls caught me a bit off guard. I actually kind of felt bad when it went down but in the end there was no click.

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    Default Re: How do I keep you from sitting with me If I'm not interested?

    I'm as annoyed as the next customer when it comes to persistent dancers that can't take a hint or "no" for an answer but I'll admit, I've uncovered a few diamonds in the rough in these situations.

    On one trip, a dancer walked up to me with the usual hustle. She was smoking like a train, had some teeth missing, flat chested, really short hair, no curves. I was repulsed and trying to brush her off for a good 20 minutes! I ingnored her, said I wanted to be alone, looked away a lot and gave her 1 word answers to her endless questions. I couldn't have looked more annoyed. I walked away - she followed. I don't have it in me to tell a woman to fuck off, which is what it would've taken with this dancer. A couple attractive dancers even took notice as they passed and I gave them that "help me" look but they didn't seem to want to get involved. At about that 20 minute mark I cracked, like a hostage being tortured to give up information. I was really losing it. She wouldn't leave me alone! I was starting to laugh like a mental patient and get glossy eyed. I finally told her, "FINE, let's do this dance but then I have to go!" Turned out to be a damn hot PD! Her skin was like silk. Despite the smoking, her perfume smelled amazing. She really knew how to move - sexy as all hell. After putting down the wall I initially put up, she was actually really interesting and smart. What sounded like nothing but "wha, wha, wha" during that 20 minues of hell, turned into a good convesation after 4 or so PD's.

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