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Thread: Head Games or Static in the Attic

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Head Games or Static in the Attic

    I have a habit of getting up in my head and stressing out. For example.. at work stripping, like when I am on stage.. sometimes it will look like the guys at the stage want to axe murder me so I will think to myself, "OMG they hate me." And then I will think.. "Well that guy is younger, maybe he just isn't into me because I am older or maybe the way I did my makeup I look like a freak." And then he will ask me for a private dance after I get off stage and I am like, "Okay.. if they look like they want to murder you then it is because they are turned on or something."

    And as soon as a woman or especially a couple comes to my stage I automatically think, "Oh shit she wants to pick me apart and I better avoid her or she will get weird on me and then reluctantly I will dance for them and they will be okay or maybe the woman will ask about my boobs, wanting to know if they are "fake" or whatever. I always say they are real !

    And last night there were a bunch of baller looking guys in the VIP and I walked by them and the one is telling me to do a dance for his friend and his friend is like, "No!" and laughing and my first thought is they are making fun of me and like it is some kind of joke that one of them would want to even do a dance with me and then I take the guy back and he goes zones out into my boob space like a little baby and sprouts a huge boner.

    Are there threads on this? It is like my thoughts are trying to defeat me and I just need self confidence. To my credit though I worked in a horrible little dive where all the girls did was talk shit about anyone who was there to make money, there was no cover and some of the guys were real dicks because they were just there to hang out with their lazy girlfriends. That and the worst stripper drama ever. So I guess I keep expecting the kind of stuff from my old club and maybe I need to begin to realize it doesn't have to be the way it was at the old club?

    Anyone else have these kinds of struggles?

    Did you find a good way to overcome them?

    I just try to meditate when I can to clear the noise out of my head. The noise that keeps telling me I will be rejected if I approach someone for a dance.

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    Default Re: Head Games or Static in the Attic

    Quote Originally Posted by lifetravelergirl View Post

    It is like my thoughts are trying to defeat me and I just need self confidence.
    THIS is the problem. You already know that this is the problem so you on the way to fixing it Yes I have had struggles like this when dancing too. You're not alone babe. It is ALL in your head, and you are psyching yourself out and your lack of confidence is showing to the custys and affecting your sales in a bad way. I do this too sometimes at work and have a bad night cos of it!
    How to work thru it? TRY and think positive thoughts, put yourself in a good mindset, get confidence. Think about great nights or custys you had, great money you made, make sure you are done up to your very best when you hit the floor. That way if they say no, you know its not your fault they just dont have taste
    I will be working on this tonight myself. I have had lack of confidence issues at work and I know a lot of girls do if not most of them. One thing i do when i get in this way is remind myself in my head of all the times when i was a top earner and that Im always in the top 3 earners at the clubs I work. That helps build my confidence to make sales.

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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Head Games or Static in the Attic

    I don't actually believe it's a lack of self confidence. I have this same problem, but in different environments. My mind will get carried away, one simple thing I notice about someone/something, one thought, will evolve into a huge complex assumption about that person/place/thing, and I will get so wrapped up into it and believe it. I feel like it's super high intuition bordering on paranoia. It can be something like what you described, or me watching a movie or commercial on t.v. and get so in tune and empathizing with the characters that I start feeling deep intense emotions, like abnormal. My mind sometimes is processing information so fast, one thought leading to another, leading to another, etc. and it happens so fast, within seconds. Usually the people around me will be like, "WTF, how did you jump to that topic?" I do this so subconsciously and automatically too. Usually, a scenario like how you are describing, it is a precursor to massive anxiety or a full blown panic attack either then, or surfacing at a later time. Do you have nightmares, or really fucked up dreams? I do. My doctor says this is related. When you sleep, any repressed emotions/thoughts surface and are released.

    This energy/repetitive pattern/habit/power manifests itself in different ways. You can channel it in a very positive way with practice. You just have to be aware of it, and kind of snap yourself back to reality when you feel yourself getting carried away. Just take a step back and try to look at yourself from an outer perspective, and tell yourself that your assumptions are ridiculous, then try to prove yourself wrong as far as whatever you were originally thinking about the person. Flip it around and talk yourself into the other direction so it becomes something positive. Remember, perception is reality.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Head Games or Static in the Attic

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    You can channel it in a very positive way with practice. You just have to be aware of it, and kind of snap yourself back to reality when you feel yourself getting carried away. Just take a step back and try to look at yourself from an outer perspective, and tell yourself that your assumptions are ridiculous, then try to prove yourself wrong as far as whatever you were originally thinking about the person. Flip it around and talk yourself into the other direction so it becomes something positive. Remember, perception is reality.

    Thank you so much ^_^ ! I thought more people would have something to contribute but maybe we are unique? I did read that this sort of thing tends to be true with Geminis though I know nothing about star signs and have no reason to put any faith into them. I think as long as I am practicing meditation I can overcome these thoughts and yes, I have been having very vivid, very colorful dreams lately, the kind that wake me up and I think it is because I am stressed out, job, financial, bills... I am on the edge of surviving and I really want to make sure things don't unravel because I need to save up a $ecurity cu$hion. I am so worried I will get fired or something bad will happen.

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