Ive posted about my situation before, but so long ago and I dont really talk much about my personal life so Ill do a quick recap...well quick as possible.
My ex and I were together almost 3 years, in the end we were looking for a place to move in together and talking marriage. We got into our first fight when he said he wanted to keep his apt when we moved in together and I hated the idea...we decided to hold off on moving in together but still talked marriage. I brought him to CA to meet family, then he met the rest of my family on Thanksgiving and had every reason to believe he was going to propose really soon. Two days later he said he wanted to take a break, 3 days later I found out he'd been dating another girl behind my back for 6 months...
Over the next two years, he was telling me he didnt know what he wanted, wasnt sure if he was ready for marriage, still loved and wanted to be with me though. But also still seeing this other girl. It would be back and forth of him saying they werent together or talking, and getting nasty emails from her saying to back off and telling me about all the trips he takes her on and things they do together. Came to a point where I blew up at him, told him to never mention marriage or that he loves me, cause all that was off the table, we'd still talk but over the past year havnt had sex or spent much time together..
Over the past 6 months, he'd started getting more and more distant...any arguments was me upset over something this other girl was saying or doing to me and telling him to get a handle on his situation. But he'd still always tell me he cared about me, he did help me out with a lot of things in this time always saying he feels guilty over how everything happened and its the least he could do etc etc. Okay so for what just happened now...
He traveled for work a couple of weeks ago, and we stayed in touch emailing each other nearly every day...the day before he came back he sent me an email saying how much he missed me and my daughter. Then I didnt hear from him again...I wrote him a couple times no reply, and then for his bday I called, and texted him..wasnt til late nite he replied saying thanks, and that hes sorry he didnt get back to me, hes just been busy with stuff since he got back. Then his sister calls me and tells me he met a girl when he was on his trip that he wants to marry, he brought her back home with him, introduced her to the family, theyve found an apartment, and in two weeks shes moving down here for good.
I was floored...like I dont know just, numb and floored. I mean, the biggest thing for me I guess was just happy hes not marrying this other girl he cheated on me with, considering how horrible she is. But so confused that he emailed me every day, said he missed me... Anyway, I called and left him vm saying I heard the news, that I wish he had told me but that it seems hes really happy, and so Im happy for him and hope for the best. That night he called me and we talked, he said thanks, that he really appreciates my reaction to this, but that its kind of blown out of proportion..they arent getting married but that yeah, he met this girl and he wants to see wehre things go.
Then he totally flipped out on me...like he went on this rant saying he cant stand that his family has to talk about everything, that he has no privacy and he wishes everyone would just shut up about him... and I was like, but its not anything negative, like no one is being negative just really surprised and curious about this girl, but totally open to it, and Im just reaching out and telling you Im happy for you...at which point he says patronizingly...yeah yeah yeah happy for me I get it now shut up about it. And Im really like, wait...wtf happened cause we were having a good conversation and everything was find and now this? And said i dont get it, whats his problem, and he screams at me to do him a favour and just shut up already. At that point I hung up on him.
This morning I woke up to a text from him apologizing for what he said, and for being distant these past few months, saying that I am a beautiful and great person, that Im really special and he really does care about me, and hopes that Im okay etc. To be honest, his reaction towards me floors me more than the news that hes planning to bring a girl from another country that he met 2 weeks ago and marry her. I dont even really know how to react to anything, its more like a bad movie plot than real life. I mean, who does that... I mean, did he expect, or want me to get mad and fall apart at the news or something? I just dont get it.
And Ive been spinning around my home all morning, Ive already deleted all the texts we'd ever sent each other from my phone, about to delete all our emails, throw away our photos, and just finally put him and all this behind me. Cause the way he talked to me....the way he messes with my head, its just too much for me. I cant function or live like this anymore, its been over 2 years now. And that hed get pissed off at me cause I say that Im happy for him, I just....I dont know. Im babbling now.



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)... And yeah, if someone were living this and talked to me about it, I would tell her to drop him....like the minute it turned out he was dating someone else living this double life, I would have been like, thats a no go. And I have ditched guys for a lot less...but for whatever reason, telling myself this, following through has been so hard.


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