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Thread: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

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    Dizzy Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    i dont feel like this belongs in this section coz its so insignificant to all the other problems posted here but its really bothering me and i dont know where else to post.......

    so i get really bad anxiety whenever i am in a situation where i have to talk on the phone to someone who isnt my mother. I dont answer private numbers and rarely answer the phone even if i know who is calling. I would rather walk half and hour or travel an hr by bus than get on the phone and call up regardless whether its school, work, the doctors or pizza.

    i feel really stupid typing it all out. I just have an irrational fear of being on the phone, calling people, answering it etc and its been like that for awhile... but considering ive started my business with a friend and we have to make calls and receive them [she is just as bad as me with this actually] its time to... i dont know.... confront my fears of being on the phone????

    so stupid.
    seriously.
    help me coz you feel sorry for me?
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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Dude...I am the saaaaame way. It's like I expect to be attacked when I'm on the phone or something. The biggest issue for me is making "stressful" calls...like calling clubs to ask when I can audition and stuff. But I have anxiety calling to order sushi, too, and all sorts of other ridiculous situations.

    The only thing that's making me get over this is being in a day job where I have to make / answer calls probably 20x a day.

    Seriously though, if you can find someone else who spends as little time on the phone as I, that'd be impressive. I'm a texter.

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    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    me too lol
    my friends know i communicate via txt only and if i call they usually assume something must be wrong... however when i was at film school and i constantly had to be on the phone arranging locations and actors and shit i was fine and really professional.... but if i dont call people after awhile its a disaster

    and its embarassing. who has a fear of being on the phone??
    im kinda like that with skype too.
    i finally found a way to be socially awkward digitally as well as in real life go me
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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    You'll just get the hang of it with practice. I used to hate it too until I became a recruitment consultant and had to cold call all morning and call candidates all afternoon... I was so scared at first. But the only way to overcome it is with practice.

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    I have that issue too... its not fun and its not a small problem cause it can cause bigger problems. But Im in the same boat so I cant offer up any advice on how to kick it. When my phone rings I already get panicked...even if its someone I really want to talk to I have a hard time bringing myself to answer the phone. And if I do get on the phone, especially if its a long conversation, I need a long while to regroup before I went to even look at my phone again.

    Ive lost friendships over it cause people think Im avoiding them, Ive lost work, especially when I did web design and people were calling me all the time for one thing or another. Ive changed my number, then not given it to anyone and for months will tell them I think something is wrong with my phone if I come across them. Im horrible.

    Nothing throws me into a full blown panic attack like someone knocking on my door though..even if I invited someone over and I know they are coming. I usually will just leave the door open, or tell them before they come over to just walk in.

    Thing is, I dont have social anxiety, I can be around people in small or large groups just fine, I handle myself no issues, can network and make contacts and meet people Id love to get to know...love to meet up and all of that. But the phone thing sucks. Im okay with texting most of the time, but email is really my most comfortable way of keeping in touch with anyone.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    I hate checking voicemail, too...which is totally ridiculous, since they aren't even live phonecalls!

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I hate checking voicemail, too...which is totally ridiculous, since they aren't even live phonecalls!
    Same here but I have a way around that... I have my phone linked up to my Google voice, and so all calls whether to my cell phone or to my GV number are routed to GV voicemail.. I have the setting enabled to transcribe my voicemail and have it sent to me by text message.

    90% of the time it comes through close to perfect. Sometimes the message makes no sense or can't be transcribed at all... But I wouldn't have listened to it anyway and used to just do a mass delete of my voicemail before I started doing this, so 90% is better than 0%.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    God/dess sammii's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    I hate checking voicemail, too...which is totally ridiculous, since they aren't even live phonecalls!
    Same. I don't mind talking on the phone, but voicemails give me anxiety for some reason.

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Oh my god, I have this too!! And I think the worst part of it is that people really can't wrap their heads around it, so they presume you must be making it up to avoid them. I've lost regulars at the club because they were old guys that couldn't text, and I was too scared to answer the phone. I'd rather walk to get take-out than have it delivered, I used to drive 45 mins one-way to make/change/cancel appointments at my therapists office to avoid calling. My sister lives a flight hours-long away from me, and I think she feels like I don't care to speak to her because I only text/email, but I can't even call HER without panicking. Even my phone ringing sends me into half an anxiety attack, and if there's a knock on the door it's even worse. If I'm not expecting someone, I'll freeze and wait for them to leave rather than answering... I've missed so many package deliveries that way. Recently I locked myself out of my bank account online and calling TD made me freak out even though it was all automated.

    I'd love to get over it too, I just don't know how


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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Wow Im so glad this thread started up, and to know Im not alone.
    I always felt like such a freak, seriously. Like this whole thing has had a really negtive impact, and I cant help it or stop being this way.
    Yet another thing to bring up when I start therapy soon here If I get any answers, Ill be sure to let y'all know...
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    yeah thank fuck im not alone hey i felt stupid just typing it. its such a random thing to be afraid of. plus even though i lived in aus for 10 years, sometimes i find it really hard to understand people on the phone which makes it even more difficult for me to sound less awkward.
    my phone is broken and it has been for awhile and im in no hurry to get it fixed so when i tell people i cant answer or call coz its broken i can show them and they believe me lol.

    i find when i need to work up the balls to absolutely have to make a phone call i just wear a stupid hat like a sombrero or sit around naked in heels or something. but usually i crack up and cant hold a conversation half the time coz im laughing so hard. so disregard that advice if you would find it more difficult to call people naked in a mexican hat....
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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Actually...I think that imagining everyone that Im talking on the phone to is sitting there naked in a sombrero and heels might actually help me relax a little bit
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    I thought I was the only one! LOL! My husband gets soo mad at me because I make him call for everything. He literally screams at me and calls me a baby Asshole. Anyway, when I have to call I end up stuttering or fucking up words. Most of the time I'm in such a rush to get off the phone that I continue to interrupt people :/ I actually get butterflies in my stomach and have to take some breaths before dialing. I've even written down what I'm going to say on more than one occasion. I think that technology like texting, skyping, FB chat, etc... has made talking on the phone that much harder for people.. Something that would take a 5 min phone call turns into 40 pages of texts, lol..

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Here's a funny story:
    I was a telemarketer for Kirby vaccuums back in '01 and so of course we'd have to call random people up until 8pm. Needless to say people were very rude. So by Day 2 I was just pretending to call people. I'd sit there and talk to the fucking dial tone!! LOL! So after a week of mysteriously not selling any kirby's or free cleaning trials I was cut from the job.

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    That sounds like something I would do

    I once had to telemarket when I worked for Public Broadcasting...even though I worked in membership, I stopped taking calls cause this one woman repeatedly would call my desk and berate me cause she hadnt received her Lawrence Welk or whatever it was boxset. She had me in tears almost every day, and my boss finally had enough and said I didnt have to do phones anymore. Because of my computer experience, I finagled my way into mostly doing up reports and managing orders etc, while the other girl did all the phone calls. Well, we started this thing where everyone had to get on the phones and call up people who hadnt renewed their membership over x amount of years, to try and get them to be members again.

    I begged not to do it, but they said I had to...then I had one guy ask me to repeat my name, and when I did, he threatened to come down to the tv station, with his shot gun, and blow me away if I ever call his home again. I freaked out so hard I burst into tears and no one could get me to say what this guy told me, I was so freaked out and was stuttering and this huge mess. I was the only person after that that didnt have to make phone calls anymore, for that or in my office and had my calls rerouted to someone else. Even when my husband called, hed have to call someone else in the office and leave a message for me...
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    ^ people are fucking crazy when it comes to telemarketers! I'm sorry some asshole went as far as he did.

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Yeah...I mean no one likes telemarketers, but after that, all I can say its a job and Id never treat anyone like that. We thought it would be different cause it was public broadcasting, and we were talkign to former members, not cold calling. But lots of people screamed at, cursed out, horns blown in thier ears over the phone. Some funny ones too though, like asking for someone and after they say its them, they turn around and said not to call back cause they died "but Im talking to you", "yeah, Im haunting my phone" and some other crazy stuffs.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    LOL... I've heard of people giving their phones to their toddlers or even farting into the phone. Yeah, real mature people!

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    Featured Member smeca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    I'm the same way! More mild though, like I don't mind answering too much now.

    I hate hate hate making 'official' calls, the only reason I've tried a new club lately is because i knew a staff member there and arranged it by text. I still haven't called another place i want to try in weeeeks.

    I think a lot of people have this but I've never heard of any structured ways to get over it.
    Last edited by smeca; 04-18-2012 at 12:24 PM.

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Just thinking out loud here. Could it be something to do with rejection?

    Thinking about it I only put off/freak out over calls where I want something from someone. Like calling about a job, appointment or recently to check we could pay less than the bill that was posted due to tenancy dates. Things like calling a department for advice, taxi are ok for me, things they WILL give cos they are a service.

    Also maybe because you can't see the person?
    I would rather travel to an office to speak face to face about something than call the helpline. I think I used to think the person on the phone would be very cold, formal and pissed off if i didn't speak in some script. I have felt huge relief when the person on the other end made a joke or mentioned how they would take a minute because everything was going wrong for them that day.

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    I moved four months ago and haven't turned off my cable service for this reason. It is prettty bad.

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    This sounds really cliche but this is what my dad always says: "The phone is there for my convenience, not everyone else's." If you don't like who is calling, don't answer. If they are rude to you, just hang up. Really, you have all the control in this situation. I hang up on people all the time.

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    If it's an important call-you can try to kill the nerves by writing out a brief outline of what you want to say and simply reading it out when speaking on the phone. It's not uncommon to feel uncomfortable taking calls from unknown numbers! Make sure you have message bank set up so that, if you don't know who's calling/don't feel like picking up the phone, you don't miss any business opportunities! Also, a website/email for your business will give other's another way of getting in touch with you.

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    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    I had the same problem BUT things have gotten better .
    Forcing myself to talk on the phone, it helped me get over that. I would always write out EXACTLY what I was going to say though, and rehearse it. Seriously :p
    At work (my vanilla job), I make probably 20-30 phone calls a day.
    I'm always kinda nervous about it, but not nearly as bad as I was like a year ago.
    InnesX

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    Default Re: Severe Phone Anxiety. Yup. Embarrassing.

    Im like this too! LOL, i have been my whole life... I always just ignore the call and text the person right back, im sure its annoying but oh well

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