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Thread: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Reminder Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    I followed up on a Craigslist post for an apartment. The guy replied saying it was rented, but he has a nearby apartment available in July. The rent, location, and move-in date are ideal for me, so I told him I was definitely interested. I asked him what I would need in order to apply for the place. He replied: "Need lawful source of income sufficient for rent not to exceed 33 percent of income, positive rental references, etc."

    He seems pretty easygoing, but I'm completely stuck on whether I should tell him that I cam, or say something like Internet Marketing Affiliate or Independent Contractor. Since March I've been receiving paper checks from SM, and I still have all the stubs. Should I just copy them, present these to him and hope he doesn't ask any questions? Should I be upfront about camming? I've read a lot of past posts on what to do about apartment applications, but I've learned that you really have to gauge how much you reveal by the individual and how they come off.


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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    I'm very upfront about what I do for a living, but I have not told my leasing office that I'm a cam model. In my opinion, your landlord doesn't need to know. Easy going or not, you never know if he will try to hold it against you if you ever have a dispute with him. All he needs to know is the amount on your pay stubs and that you have an earning history that proves you can pay your rent on time. If I were you, I'd tell him I'm an independent contractor if he asks. Usually people don't tend to pry once you put it that way. If he really starts probing for details tell him, "Oh, I do a lot of different things with that company." Not exactly a lie, as I'm sure you do a lot of different types of shows on there, right? In situations where something as important as housing is involved I feel it's better to be safe than sorry.

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    u do affiliate marketing , if anyone asks... it does not say on the 1099 W-9 what we do, exactly
    we could be doing ANYTHING!
    we could be answering phone calls aka costumer support.......

    I recently had to write on an official paper what I do exactly..
    I found a happy medium.. not really a lie. but not really 100 % the truth
    I wrote " Chathost Services" lool

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Given that it's male? I say no, at least not until you guys have an established relationship. A guy can sound cool and all, but a lot will try and take liberties if they hear you're openminded sexually, and they don't really seem to care how far your open mind goes.

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    In hindsight, the best way to address the ( increasing ) problem of these new income verification requirements is to have set up a dedicated 'business' bank account - into which you only deposit dancing / webcam earnings, and from which you transfer 'payments to yourself' after estimated taxes and business expenses are taken care of. This way you can show a prospective landlord / loan officer your business account bank statement without allowing them to see details about exactly who you're receiving payments from.

    If you must now show the prospective landlord StreaMates check stubs, he doesn't need to be a brain surgeon to figure out that you're working as a camgirl. As such, there's not much point in 'lying' about your occupation. And that can be problematic at both extremes ... a conservative landlord not wanting 'adult' work being done from his property, to an overly aggressive landlord seeking a 'barter' arrangement for future rent payments !

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    Featured Member Jessica1001's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Maybe I am just super conservative with this sort of thing (but then again, that's how I manage to keep drama away), but I would advise you NOT to disclose this information to him.

    Not now, not ever.

    ESPECIALLY while he is "in a position of authority" over you. Maybe one day, when he's not your landlord, and youve nurtured a mutually respectful, genuine friendship, then... Sure... Tell him if you feel comfortable.

    But while he is your landlord? No fucking way. He does not need to know anything beyond the fact that you can afford to pay your rent, on time, every month.

    Always evaluate costs vs benefits. What are the benefits of disclosure, in this case? Telling him would do nothing to HELP you, and it might do a lot to HURT you, in this scenario. What on earth would your motivation be to tell him? Do you need a friend that you can yak to about the weirdos you entertain at work? Find one elsewhere.

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    Featured Member HaydenBlue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    In general:

    Men in who look at a woman adult industry think: "Wow, she is a whore, slut, etc - and she'll fuck me. I should come onto her!"
    Women who look at another woman in the adult industry think: "She is a DIRTY whore - I don't want her around the children."

    But seriously out of maybe the 3 close male friends I've told - and mind you, I've only told them that I was an online Dominatrix - NOT that I fuck myself and get naked. They have ALL seen it as a new sudden unspoken invitation to get a freebie and/or fuck me! Needless to say most aren't my friend anymore. That is how we are viewed in anything related to sex "Well she's a "whore" for that guy Bob - she'll WANT to do it with me too!" Like 98% of the time. Part falls on how we're marketed and perceived in the media and movies. But anyways...

    Sure you could tell the landlord - but how can you be sure he'll shut his mouth? You do not know this man - at all. Let's say he's cool about it but he tells Bob in apartment A10, and then it slowly circulates around the complex and now everyone is whispering about you, and you get unwanted advances from the gardener man.

    You don't know what he's saying or the picture he's painting of you - he could be telling everyone you're an easy, sleasy hoe who fucks herself for money - just because that's how he wants you perceived - even though you are doing this as a job, and are professional about it. Does Mr. Landlord give a shit? Nope. Cuz you a hoe!

    Putting your real job out there sets you up for the possibility of being harassed (sexually, verbally), raped, slut-shamed and in some cases (someone correct me if I'm wrong) they could even vote/kick you out? Because I don't believe profession falls under the equal housing act?

    Regardless, - the point is, people are still very conservative and in general are not ready to accept what we do as jobs. They cling to the stigmas and have a very set view of us.


    So, no - I would NOT tell the landlord about you being a cammodel. You have no relationship with this guy. You don't know him as a person or if he is trustworthy or professional in the sense that he wouldn't just tell every person he knows about your job. He is in a position of power over you - involving money and your ability to live in the complex. That is never good to throw "Oh yeah, I fuck myself for a living." Ha!

    Tell him you do websites, affiliate marketing, internet sales, tele-work-at-home jobs, etc

    If you want to out yourself to friends and family - do so. But I wouldn't do that with a landlord/landlady. Ever.








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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    The check stubs from streamate does not have their name on it, so you can use those, but you would still have to make up what you do for a living.

    Edit to add you probably already knew what I wrote above. My friend told a private landlord that she was an independent contractor who did model shoots (she's really an escort). I just tell everyone I'm an independent contractor for a private company. If they keep asking I say telemarketer

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by idgaf_luvr View Post
    The check stubs from streamate does not have their name on it, so you can use those, but you would still have to make up what you do for a living.

    Edit to add you probably already knew what I wrote above. My friend told a private landlord that she was an independent contractor who did model shoots (she's really an escort). I just tell everyone I'm an independent contractor for a private company. If they keep asking I say telemarketer
    This is true, if you receive paper checks then the stubs do not have any business name on them. I've used them before just fine for income purposes.
    xoxo ~ Sarah




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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fridays View Post
    I wrote " Chathost Services" lool



    I say "chatroom host."
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Hayden, it's like you've read my mind. I was thinking the very same thing about how the landlord may try to use it to make sexual advances towards her. Plus he could be curious and decide to check her out on cam one day, and then end up greeting her by her real name and revealing something personal about her.

    I actually lost a male friend of mine because I wouldn't tell him the name of a cam site I'm on. *rolls eyes*
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    I would just say you work online from home, and then let him run a credit report!

    Bear in mind that you DO have to tell him you are working from home, as not declaring it can cause legal issues.

    And I have one nice story about being honest! A friend of mine isn't a camgirl, but she is a dom working (mostly) out of a dungeon. However, in recent years, she has moved more and more into porn, and has now been signed by a studio (yay her!) and does really well on C4S as well. She films for the studio all over the world (as well as private work) but does most of her C4S videos at home - most of which DO include slaves, and/or other dommes. She moved to a nice new complex, loves her building, and was totally honest to the landlord about her work, explaining that she was an adult actress, and would be travelling a lot, and doing some work from home. Then, one of her new neighbors found out what she does (via her blog, of all things), searched her clips, and so discovered that she films at home. Neighbor threw a FIT, and has now started a lovely little hate campaign, trying to convince other tenants to sign petitions etc to get her evicted, because they don't want to live next to a dirty porn star. (Lovely and open-minded, right?) Her awesome landlord basically told them to fuck off. He said that he KNEW what she did before she moved in, so even if he wanted to evict her now, he had no legal right to. He also told them that that doesn't matter, because she is a good tenant, and he doesn't want to evict her. And when the neighbors complained that they felt their safety was at risk because she was letting these nasty deviant men into the complex to film, he told them that she could invite whoever she wanted, just the same as they could.
    GO AWESOME LANDLORD-MAN!
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    When I get my new place, I am only going to show bank statements (they don't ever say what the check name is). Also, I'm going to only apply to places that only go by credit score. That way, I won't have to deal with these nosy types wanting to know all of my info. I will NEVER tell anyone what I do for a living. It comes with a lot of negative energy from males especially. If anyone bothers to ask me what I do for a living, I'm only going to go with "independent contractor" because that's what we really are. That's what I write on my taxes.

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    Veteran Member housewench's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    I'd also like to add that I'm in this position nonconsensually. That is, my landlord knew who I was (from Fetlife, of all places) and even knowing I'm in a dedicated relationship where I don't play with others, I've had to deal with him telling me things like he'd like to electrocute my nipple piercings, wanted to install a hook so he could tie me to my bedroom ceiling, etc

    and the worst part?

    HE'S NOT A SKEEVY GUY, just a.... perverted one. I'm lucky he's such a nice guy, but I would have been totally fucked if the average person found out about me!

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by housewench View Post
    HE'S NOT A SKEEVY GUY, just a.... perverted one. I'm lucky he's such a nice guy, but I would have been totally fucked if the average person found out about me!
    He knows that you don't want to hear it, and that you are in a closed relationship, but he tells you that he would like to do sexual things to you?

    I would love to hear what you DO consider skeevy, if this doesn't make the list!! LOL
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    I would just say you work online from home, and then let him run a credit report!

    Bear in mind that you DO have to tell him you are working from home, as not declaring it can cause legal issues.

    And I have one nice story about being honest! A friend of mine isn't a camgirl, but she is a dom working (mostly) out of a dungeon. However, in recent years, she has moved more and more into porn, and has now been signed by a studio (yay her!) and does really well on C4S as well. She films for the studio all over the world (as well as private work) but does most of her C4S videos at home - most of which DO include slaves, and/or other dommes. She moved to a nice new complex, loves her building, and was totally honest to the landlord about her work, explaining that she was an adult actress, and would be travelling a lot, and doing some work from home. Then, one of her new neighbors found out what she does (via her blog, of all things), searched her clips, and so discovered that she films at home. Neighbor threw a FIT, and has now started a lovely little hate campaign, trying to convince other tenants to sign petitions etc to get her evicted, because they don't want to live next to a dirty porn star. (Lovely and open-minded, right?) Her awesome landlord basically told them to fuck off. He said that he KNEW what she did before she moved in, so even if he wanted to evict her now, he had no legal right to. He also told them that that doesn't matter, because she is a good tenant, and he doesn't want to evict her. And when the neighbors complained that they felt their safety was at risk because she was letting these nasty deviant men into the complex to film, he told them that she could invite whoever she wanted, just the same as they could.
    GO AWESOME LANDLORD-MAN!
    That's a nice story. And that landlord seems like an awesome guy but 9 times out of 10 they would rather tell the root of the problem (camgirl) to leave rather than having to deal with a mob of angry anti-sex workers. And now she lives in a complex with a bunch of complainers and people who discriminate against her? Sounds like a not-so-fun situation.







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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    That's a nice story. And that landlord seems like an awesome guy but 9 times out of 10 they would rather tell the root of the problem (camgirl) to leave rather than having to deal with a mob of angry anti-sex workers. And now she lives in a complex with a bunch of complainers and people who discriminate against her? Sounds like a not-so-fun situation.
    Yeah - although legally, if you tell them what you do before signing the lease, they CANNOT evict you simply for your job, landlords can still make it really, really difficult to live there.

    It really does suck that some of her neighbors have decided to go on a little crusade, but that is just one of the hazards of the job - someone said it on another thread (can't remember who...dern!) we get paid so much because it can really make your life hard. Luckily, its not every single neighbor, and there are some who have openly supported her. She's hoping that most of the people just went along with the main instigator (pack mentality) and now that they know that the landlord is on her side, will basically get over it and move on. She IS going to have to continue to live with at least one neighbor who actively discriminates against her, but that's a risk we all take, wherever we live. It has nothing to do with her being upfront with the landlord, and everything to do with some nosy meddlesome person....
    Luckily, she is a very good neighbor herself, which helps! And she is a very strong woman who has been in the industry a long time, and who was always aware that this is a risk we take.

    So I guess that this is a happy AND a sad story. Happy - there ARE landlords out there who truly don't care what you do, as long as you are honest and pay the bills. Yay for not hiding! Sad - there is always a risk that someone in your life (neighbor, day-job colleague, kids teacher) will find out what you do and judge you for it.
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    I've had some problems with landlords excepting bank statements as proof of income and they won't except my SM check stubs because there are no year-to-date earnings or any other information besides amount and date.

    I bought a car no problem---I didn't even need to show check stubs---but I was also working part time at a bar.

    Some rental companies just use a 3rd party to perform a background check and get your income info that way. So if you haven't filed taxes yet as a cam girl, it doesn't show you have any income.
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    That's a nice story. And that landlord seems like an awesome guy but 9 times out of 10 they would rather tell the root of the problem (camgirl) to leave rather than having to deal with a mob of angry anti-sex workers. And now she lives in a complex with a bunch of complainers and people who discriminate against her? Sounds like a not-so-fun situation.
    That sounds like my situation. I have a bunch of "concerned neighbours" that tell my landlord that their plans are to run me off the block. FYI I do what I do without inviting men in to my home. I do see clients on occasion and film fetish stuff in a dungeon, which is located an hour away from my home, other then that it is just me camming from my place. I don't bring anyone home, heck even my mother has only been here once, yet these people seem to want to make my life a living hell. It's quite interesting the stories these people make up about me and the fact that they can get away with making up point blank lies and not be held accountable for their behaviour. Yes I say that because one lady has called animal control on me so many times over things that never happened (and when AC investigated they found the complaints to be false and have no basis every single time), yet the city does not want to seem to hold this person accountable for making false complaints. Furthermore this person has threatened to have my animals taken away from me and that "you will be sorry you even moved on to this block".

    What's even more ironic is that these people claim to be good church going Christians.



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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Yea don't say anything. I had a real estate agent who was a man. I felt like I needed to open and honest about what I did for a living so I could buy a house. All I ever heard about was hey i'll pay you $200 bucks for a lap dance .. ( from my real estate agent) I am thinking GAWD isn't our real estate commission enough .. You work for me. So after I bought my house, he drove by alot to check up on me and to see if i would give him a lap dance yet.. and finally I had to put it to an end. Told him he will NEVER be my real estate agent again, You are fired and if you keep up with this harrassment I will tell your wife. So that shut him up. But I had to go through all of that just because of what I do for a living. Every person who I have paid for services from have reacted the same way. Several, real estate agent, computer repair man, water filtration man, cable guy.. ALL of them sleazy reactions and trying to get something for free. So I suggest you only do business with women or be quiet.

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    Featured Member Charlotteslut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    I don't think there's much effort involved in hiding this profession. People make this out to be harder than it really is. Just say you are self employed doing online sales/affiliate marketing/customer service/etc. etc.

    And I think, for the reasons listed, you should absolutely hide sexual jobs in professional situations like this. Also saying chathost is basically saying camgirl, lol. Most people will make that connection.

    There is a time and a place for activism, but we all need a safe and secure place to live.

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Yea I think when I rented an APT before I bought this house.. I just told them I was self employed .. I may or may not have told them I was a Model.. and that's all i said. They verified my income by bank statements.. but it was a big corporation that I rented from.

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlotteslut View Post
    I don't think there's much effort involved in hiding this profession. People make this out to be harder than it really is. Just say you are self employed doing online sales/affiliate marketing/customer service/etc. etc.

    And I think, for the reasons listed, you should absolutely hide sexual jobs in professional situations like this. Also saying chathost is basically saying camgirl, lol. Most people will make that connection.

    There is a time and a place for activism, but we all need a safe and secure place to live.

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous camgirl View Post
    So I suggest you only do business with women or be quiet.
    i agree with all of what u said except for this part. for a woman who also holds a position of power over you and for them to know what you do, is a bad mix for the most part. there was a woman who was the head manager of the office at a very nice apartment complex that i was living at. i told this story in other theads, so i just don't feel like repeating it all over again but let's just say that she did some underhanded things to get me removed from my apartment complex. she had it out for me because she knew that i was a stripper. i suggest you just don't tell anyone what you really do for a living whom you doing business with in the vanilla world. shit can just blow up in ur face no matter who they are. yes i understand shit can get real complicated sometimes when they deeply probe into how u make ur income, esp if you make alot but in the end all they need to know is that u are making enough money to pay ur bills.

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Yea well it is also good to start other kinda sources of income even if you just make 2 bucks at it.. so you can show that you make an income.. I am not talking about verifying for apts and what not .. just nosy people who wont stop bothering you about what you do for a living... for instance you can start a thing selling on ebay then if someone asks to see your listing you got proof.. then they shut up...lol
    but good to have back up other than cam, that way you have something to tell everyone. I had even had a vending machine business at one point... I didn't make any money doing it .. but i had business cards so i told people that's what i do.. no need for them to know my main source of income.. this year i plan to go into real estate so who knows if i'll make money.. but as far as anyone is concerned thats how i make a living.


    Quote Originally Posted by bubblegumbitch View Post
    i agree with all of what u said except for this part. for a woman who also holds a position of power over you and for them to know what you do, is a bad mix for the most part. there was a woman who was the head manager of the office at a very nice apartment complex that i was living at. i told this story in other theads, so i just don't feel like repeating it all over again but let's just say that she did some underhanded things to get me removed from my apartment complex. she had it out for me because she knew that i was a stripper. i suggest you just don't tell anyone what you really do for a living whom you doing business with in the vanilla world. shit can just blow up in ur face no matter who they are. yes i understand shit can get real complicated sometimes when they deeply probe into how u make ur income, esp if you make alot but in the end all they need to know is that u are making enough money to pay ur bills.

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    Default Re: Does this landlord sound like someone I can be honest with about my profession?

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    He knows that you don't want to hear it, and that you are in a closed relationship, but he tells you that he would like to do sexual things to you?

    I would love to hear what you DO consider skeevy, if this doesn't make the list!! LOL
    For me, it would have been if he didn't stop when I asked, but it's still pretty side-eye worthy, I'll admit! He just tries to be pally-er than I would really like. I am not a pal-y person.

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