Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

  1. #1
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    VIP Room
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 77 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    After being out of dancing for 3 yrs, I've recently returned. When I danced before I wasn't in a relationship and wasn't sober, so not having a sex drive didn't occur to me. I've noticed since I've been back to dancing I've no desire whatsoever. My boyfriend who's working really hard on being ok with me dancing said to me last night "I'm mad other men get to see you naked but I don't". I guess I can understand where he's coming from, but it's not against him. The desire just hasn't been there! Can anyone relate? How have you worked through it?
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    I only get horny when I've tucked a few benjamins in my thong; it's a money fetish.."

  2. #2
    Veteran Member LexyNYC's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    615
    Thanks
    911
    Thanked 822 Times in 295 Posts
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    Say you work at a burger place. You started working there cause you love burgers. At first, you're eating the burgers, everythings great, you're loving this job. After like 3 months of eating burgers all the time, you never want to see another fucking burger again. Just the smell of ground beef would make you want to turn vegetarian.

    Working in a strip club, all you do all shift is deal with men trying to get in your pants one way or another. Eventually, you're going to get tired of that just like you would get tired of burgers at the burger joint. Even though he's your boyfriend, he's still just a man.. trying to get in your pants. Say you work 30 hours a week, that's 30 hours that you're spending being sexy, doing sexy things, talking about shit related to sex, etc.. maybe your sex quota is just filled. Like, if you were a mechanic, you wouldn't want to come home and have to pop the hood on another car right? Maybe you would, but it would feel like a chore.

    Honestly, and I'm probably not the best person to give advice on this because I'm far from normal in the way that I deal with men... I deal with this by 1. not having a boyfriend 2. I'm naturally horny around my period and that's it 3. if I'm not horny, marijuana or alcohol helps get me in the mood 4. doing something with the guy that makes me see him as not just trying to get in my pants.. orrr doing something with him that makes him look impressive and worthy of getting in my pants would also help get me in the mood.

    If a guy asked to take me on a date to the zoo or aquarium or something, I would probably propose to him. But since I started dancing, it's like every guy I've met in the club or out is the same old same old so I don't blame myself for not wanting to do them, I blame them for being lame and doing/saying shit that reminds me of work (none of this is directed at your boyfriend, sure he's a great guy).

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to LexyNYC For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    686
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 276 Times in 120 Posts

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    My sex drive is super high & I'm a lesbian soo the guys really don't affect how I view the girls I hookup with or date, but there are days usually mondays after a bz money making weekend when I don't want people around me, looking at me, touching me, bothering 4 shyt. Monday is my me day just cuz I get anti socail & very turned off & drained by having to deal with so many people giving you or asking from you way more attention then any1 really wants. After mondays when I detoxic from every1 else I can go back to being me again & then get back into stripper mode by the weekend. Still if I didn't take mondays for myself I would end up hurting people seriously.

    Anyhow my pet peeves when socailizing otc is when people treat me like I'm working which includes compliment that focus on how hott I look (which trust me I already know) grabbing my boobs just cuz they know I'm a stripper & think it's all good (no I feel like then they owe me dinner or a twenty at least) or bringing in yr friends to my club to see me onstage & get props or anything on that level of what treatment I get or I hear all day at work. I'll give my girl a sexy lapdance tease sure, but don't expect me to entertain you unless you really are treating me right & not like yr stripper gf. Any1 I date has got to deal with the non stripper me that is off the clock that wants nothing to do with work till I'm there doing my thing.
    "Happiness does not depend on material things, but on having others pay for them"
    "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition"

    Add Me To Your MySpace Friend's List

  5. #4
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    VIP Room
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 77 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    Well he didn't score any points with me yesterday when he grabbed both of my breasts which happen to get very tender since I've been on this new birth control pill. Secondly, I have a mild form of bipolar depression so I go through periods of crankiness & lethargy. I suppose too that when I worked Fri night I came home with $5! That certainly hasn't helped my mood any and that I need money for next semesters tuition and have finals this week. Now I'm thinking he's acting selfish and should be more understanding.

    I had broken up with him for a little while and when we started talking again I told him I was going back to dancing with or without him. I gave him the opportunity to walk away and he decided it was more important to be with me than allowing his feelings towards dancing break us up. Ughh, I'm always so much better off being single!!! I'm definitely very stressed out right now to say the least!
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    I only get horny when I've tucked a few benjamins in my thong; it's a money fetish.."

  6. #5
    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Doesn't Matter
    Posts
    1,969
    Thanks
    649
    Thanked 1,823 Times in 587 Posts
    My Mood
    Confused

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    Well after a while of dancing you'll find yourself pretty sick of men and their antics with regard to getting laid. I know I do, and most other dancers I've met are the same way. Healthy sexual relations in a romantic relationship is important, don't let dancing rob you of that.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Laurisa For This Useful Post:


  8. #6
    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Location
    On your regular's lap.
    Posts
    779
    Thanks
    1,156
    Thanked 758 Times in 304 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    I have a friend who was doing peep shows and she was constantly hooking up with guys for sex, even a 3-sum with two customers from work. I don't get that at all.. The last thing I want after stripping is sex. I can see myself in a relationship but I am certainly not driven by any need for sex and honestly I can't envision myself working as a stripper and being in a relationship at the same time. And any guy who was comfortable with me working as a stripper would loose my respect quickly.

  9. #7
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    13,467
    Thanks
    10,869
    Thanked 20,995 Times in 6,795 Posts

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    I also have to say that this issue is NOT unique to the sex industry. My mom is a specialized doctor and works probably 90+ hours a week...do you think she has any desire for sex after working hard days, and after witnessing so much pain and suffering? What about high-stress lawyers? Any job that involves emotional labor (as opposed to physical labor) is bound to produce similar effects. The sex industry definitely carries an intense strain of that issue, since the job involves some degree of sexuality, but it can't be blamed for everything!

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to charlie61 For This Useful Post:


  11. #8
    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Posts
    675
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked 447 Times in 229 Posts

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    I think that what Charlie posted above me is spot on and is something you should share with your boyfriend. It might help if you framed the situation that you are just stressed out and not in the mood, sort of glossing over the fact that you are tired from work since it is sort of irrelevant if you are at work at a strip club or a Starbucks.

    If you can afford to do so, "schedule" sexy times for you and your boyfriend. For example, if you can work Wednesday and Thursday, you might be able to unwind on Friday and then you might be more in the mood for intimacy with your boyfriend on Saturday. I only work one or two days a week and I am not sure if that would be viable for you but it's something to think about.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Kat w For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    I know for me personally yes I got tired of men and wasn't dating at all at times. I dealt with the jerks at work who treated me either as sex toys or the men who treated me like crap, then while dating met the same type of guys. I would go on dates with these guys through friends or other places (not through stripping itself)and they found out I was a stripper and they treated me like the guys at the clubs. These guys would be either getting handsy or flat out ask for sex and when I refused I got the usual "you're a stripper you like sex". Meanwhile the decent guys would avoid me for this reason. I was really turned off by men for a long time. Eventually my drive returned. What I noticed was that those dancers in relationships with men were able to separate the men in the clubs from their man and it worked for them.

  14. #10
    Veteran Member LexyNYC's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    615
    Thanks
    911
    Thanked 822 Times in 295 Posts
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    The sex industry definitely carries an intense strain of that issue, since the job involves some degree of sexuality, but it can't be blamed for everything!
    That is the understatement of the century. Having a stressful job is one thing, having a stressful job in which men try to slip their finger inside of you a few times a night is another. Your mother has never gone to work as a doctor and thought "Oh shit, I didn't shave my vagina! Gotta run home!"

    We're not blaming our jobs for everyyything but it has a HUGE effect on how most of us view and interact with men since we see the worst in a lot of them every day.

    The example you gave of your mom doesn't really apply. There are only 168 hours in a week. Assuming she works 90 and sleeps 8 hours after every shift, that leaves her with 22 hours of the week of being awake and not at work. She probably has to run errands, eat, do laundry, talk to you and your siblings, etc and that could easilyyy take up the entire 22 hours. I don't know too many strippers working 90 hours a week. We have plenty of spare time and still as a lot of responses here show, are not in the mood. It's apples and oranges.

    I'm sure someone is going to respond to this about how I'm being negative and should stop stripping but I'm not being negative, I'm being honest. I like stripping and I wouldn't trade the money I've made for any amount of amazing sex or intimacy in the world. I've got my whole life to find a good man and be with him and have sex all the time, but while I'm stripping, it's a bit of a conflict of interest. At this stage in my life, I'd rather not get touched if I'm not getting paid.

  15. #11
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    13,467
    Thanks
    10,869
    Thanked 20,995 Times in 6,795 Posts

    Default Re: Dancing and loss of sex drive!

    ^ My only point is that other jobs carry a risk of decreasing sex drive.

    Also, keep in mind that I'm asexual...so for me, the job involves no sexuality.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to charlie61 For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. NO sex drive after dancing
    By blueyedmiss18 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 05-06-2009, 10:12 PM
  2. Replies: 27
    Last Post: 11-19-2007, 08:37 PM
  3. Where, oh where did my sex drive go?
    By Nina in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-08-2005, 07:35 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •