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Thread: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

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    Veteran Member fallyn_love's Avatar
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    Thumbs down i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    im not afraid to admit (in my eyes) ive never been pretty. probably because of things that ive been thru in my life, certain things that have happened that have molded my mind, and convinced me to think this way. i have always struggled with my weight also. im not fat but im not where i wanna be. i just wanna be comfortable with myself, and know who i am without letting others comments and judgements effect me.
    and plzzzzz dont think that im getting into this business to fell better about myself, thats damn sure not it.
    i just want to know how do you feel and project sexy? how do i become comfortable with myself?
    low self esteem is reeeeaaaally annoying! its just really hard when youve had all these harsh words in your ears since you were young, bullying takes a toll, and things that have really scarred you. im just tired of that being the catalyst in the way i think.
    ive been thinking like this,and feeling like this or so long its so hard to break.

    i wanna be beautiful, and mostly feel it and know it. im also tired of just being a fat ass and small waist to guys. im tired of being judged just by my body. its just sad that i feel like ive never been looked in my face, just body scanned.
    help!!!

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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    You kind of answered your own question there.... its all about how you feel on the inside. No one can make you feel good on the inside - except yourself! So have a word with yourself and start smiling at yourself when you look in the mirror.

    You're right, customers won't make you feel good about yourself. Some are sweet and will pay you compliments. But many will just say shit to bring you down. You have to believe in yourself. I'm sure you're prettier than you think. You're also lucky to have a small waist. Try to focus on the things you have. Not on the things you don't have.

    x Nat

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie Acer View Post
    You kind of answered your own question there.... its all about how you feel on the inside. No one can make you feel good on the inside - except yourself! So have a word with yourself and start smiling at yourself when you look in the mirror.

    You're right, customers won't make you feel good about yourself. Some are sweet and will pay you compliments. But many will just say shit to bring you down. You have to believe in yourself. I'm sure you're prettier than you think. You're also lucky to have a small waist. Try to focus on the things you have. Not on the things you don't have.

    x Nat
    Ouch, dude, strippping/camming is not for emotionally fragile people- it's not, really! Please consider counselling before you consider this as a career,.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    I hve to agree, I was in my mid-20's before I stopped feeling like I wasnt all that... I constantly compared myself to other women, and if a guy was checking me out Id think jeez, they really will fuck anything...or if someone complimented me I thought they were full of it, liars and cant be trusted. But something changed, I dont know what, but after my divorce, my mindset changed about myself...thats also when I first got into the industry. And when guys told me I was hot I was like, yeah I know...now pay me for letting you look at me (I started as a fin domme)

    Ive gained a lot of weight since then, am older, theres a lot of stuff about myself Im trying to change (in the midst of a self makeover at the moment) and I still think Im pretty darn good looking. In the adult industry, guys are going to be looking at your body, they are going to be completly sexualizing you, they arent interested in your mind but how you can get them off...and when you have low self esteem, whether its a compliment or a put down, anything these guys say will just make it worse.

    After my breakup with my ex, my self esteem plummetted, and I felt like, if he doesnt want me, then what guy would pay to see me? Even though it was my livlihood, I stopped doing cam, the few times I tried everything these guys said made me feel like crap, I went totally broke, ended up in a shit world of hurt financially...all cause of how I felt about myself. I snapped out of it, but that was the worst.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    strippping/camming is not for emotionally fragile people- it's not, really!,.
    true that

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    Veteran Member _natasha's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    However much of a boost a good night dancing will give you, if you haven't got the gusto and self confidence to shake the bad nights then you will crash and burn very quickly.

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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie Acer View Post
    You kind of answered your own question there.... its all about how you feel on the inside. No one can make you feel good on the inside - except yourself! So have a word with yourself and start smiling at yourself when you look in the mirror.

    You're right, customers won't make you feel good about yourself. Some are sweet and will pay you compliments. But many will just say shit to bring you down. You have to believe in yourself. I'm sure you're prettier than you think. You're also lucky to have a small waist. Try to focus on the things you have. Not on the things you don't have.

    x Nat
    This.^ I'm in the same place, what helps me is reading Newbie/Hustle Hut/Stripping threads. And, like Tempest666 says, "fake it til you make it". Charlie61 has some awesome threads/posts, as does Laurisa. Good Luck.

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    Veteran Member fallyn_love's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Quote Originally Posted by _natasha View Post
    However much of a boost a good night dancing will give you, if you haven't got the gusto and self confidence to shake the bad nights then you will crash and burn very quickly.
    true true true! this post has really motivated me
    everyword i read on SW ups my gut to just go and do it

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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Quote Originally Posted by _natasha View Post
    However much of a boost a good night dancing will give you, if you haven't got the gusto and self confidence to shake the bad nights then you will crash and burn very quickly.
    Precisely this! A SC is not the place to go if you're tired of being judged solely on looks. A night of compliments can all come crashing down with one shitty douchebag who's made it his night's goal to bring you to tears. Your self confidence needs to come from you - thinking "yeah, I know" when a guy says you're hot - not from external praises that can just as easily unravel from external criticisms.

    Do things to transform yourself into the person you want to be - working out, new hairstyle, new wardrobe, etc - and get yourself to the point where you want to be a stripper because you think "fuck yeah, I'm so hot I should be getting paid for it!" not "I should do this to up my self-esteem." Fake it til you make it only goes so far if your self-esteem is truly in the gutter.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    I've never felt sexy a day in my life. BUT- I did (and still do) enjoy getting people to bend to my will, especially customers. So if you're having trouble feeling sexy or whatever, just feel confident in the fact that you're smart and can manipulate these guys into doing what you want.

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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie Acer View Post
    You kind of answered your own question there.... its all about how you feel on the inside. No one can make you feel good on the inside - except yourself! So have a word with yourself and start smiling at yourself when you look in the mirror.

    You're right, customers won't make you feel good about yourself. Some are sweet and will pay you compliments. But many will just say shit to bring you down. You have to believe in yourself. I'm sure you're prettier than you think. You're also lucky to have a small waist. Try to focus on the things you have. Not on the things you don't have.

    x Nat
    This answers it 100%!!

    And I agree with Flickdreams, this line of work is not for the emotionally fragile. There are people out there that aim to crush you no matter how pretty or ugly you are, for some that is what turns them on, being a**holes to anyone.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Mediocrity tackles it another way which could work for you. I agree with Aurora- getting youreself as hot as you can be is going to make you feel strong, don't let it stop you know if you're not at that point BUT impeccable grooming is achievable for everyone.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  20. #13
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Wow it's scary how similar I felt before I started dancing. I didn't have terrible self esteem but was also bullied a lot as a child, it really does affect you, but it won't stop until you learn to move past it. When you've had it tough it can be easy to get down but as an adult you no longer have to feel shitty because of how other people treat you. In fact you will learn fast in this business that you need to stand up for yourself and tell other people off when they give you shit, you will get a lot of shit dealt to you as a stripper and learning how to deal with it appropriately is one of the most satisfying aspects of the job: learning to demand to be paid when jerks try to short you, telling guys off for smart remarks, etc.

    Stripping always appealed to me more in the way mediocrity described...I still to this day just see myself as a pretty average looking girl who's pretty good at hair and make-up...and knows how to dress myself. A lot of dancers are just that, I don't need to delude myself into thinking im the hottest shit around because I know I wasn't born looking like fucking jessica alba, but hey I'm a cute girl and can compete and make money so why bother? Once you cross over the not-a-troll-threshold, your sales skills matter a lot more. Only place those extra pounds or anything appearance related will matter is getting hired, but it's good you're vigilant, I'm sure you know generally the better shape you get into the better you do. All clubs are a market though, you can make money at any one, even though, yes, some might be better than others, judging by your post you're not going to be crushed if you're not raking in 500 a night right from the get-go. So GO! Just get ready one day and hit the cubs one after another until you get hired! Have fun good luck

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    Member iammisshoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need help with being sexy SHIT!

    Quote Originally Posted by Odette View Post
    Wow it's scary how similar I felt before I started dancing. I didn't have terrible self esteem but was also bullied a lot as a child, it really does affect you, but it won't stop until you learn to move past it. When you've had it tough it can be easy to get down but as an adult you no longer have to feel shitty because of how other people treat you. In fact you will learn fast in this business that you need to stand up for yourself and tell other people off when they give you shit, you will get a lot of shit dealt to you as a stripper and learning how to deal with it appropriately is one of the most satisfying aspects of the job: learning to demand to be paid when jerks try to short you, telling guys off for smart remarks, etc.

    Stripping always appealed to me more in the way mediocrity described...I still to this day just see myself as a pretty average looking girl who's pretty good at hair and make-up...and knows how to dress myself. A lot of dancers are just that, I don't need to delude myself into thinking im the hottest shit around because I know I wasn't born looking like fucking jessica alba, but hey I'm a cute girl and can compete and make money so why bother? Once you cross over the not-a-troll-threshold, your sales skills matter a lot more. Only place those extra pounds or anything appearance related will matter is getting hired, but it's good you're vigilant, I'm sure you know generally the better shape you get into the better you do. All clubs are a market though, you can make money at any one, even though, yes, some might be better than others, judging by your post you're not going to be crushed if you're not raking in 500 a night right from the get-go. So GO! Just get ready one day and hit the cubs one after another until you get hired! Have fun good luck


    This^ i'm starting out in this industry and i was bullied for my looks when i was younger BUT! im 22 & i remember the day i started playing with weaves & now im dabbling in makeup. I havent looked back. I tell MYSELF im beautiful regardless what anyone says. I do little things like getting my nails done & eyelashes. I cant wait to get a bikini wax. Just those little things and it makes me feel better. I KNOW i look good, great even. Once you get in the mind frame where you're telling yourself that youre beautiful, what anyone says is immaterial. & i joined the gym & curves as well. I know im not where i want to be weight wise. Im not fat (from what people say) but im not skinny either. But anyway, youre beautiful. IM saying you are!. Off topic: i hate telling some people im going to start dancing. I havent had a job in 4 months, yet i went to a SC & the owner said to get a permit. I want to try it out but people seem to think im better than that. I respect dancers to the fullest and understand why some do it. It just seems that dancers get a bad rep because some perform extras. I will NOT be an extras girl.
    - follow me on twitter! @ihateCocoa & on instagram! Welcome2Hollywood

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