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Thread: Family and stuff

  1. #1
    Senior Member camgirl's Avatar
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    Dizzy Family and stuff

    I want to tell my mother what I do. She has lupus. If any of you deal with that sort of thing or have parents with the same you probably can relate. She gets sick every time she gets stressed, is a full time uni teacher, mother, etc. I once told her I was applying to an adult store and she had a total break down, was sick for a week or two, crying about how I couldn't do that.

    I'm in financial straits. trying to get my shit together. SAHM. This works for me. I like it. I get calls from her all the time saying I saw x and x job opening, you should apply for this, your bf qualifies for this ( who is on unemp.) and I have to lie and say I applied, and say I desperately want x and x job, i have dreamed of this, I hope I get it. I so badly want to tell her about what I do, limit the risk of her finding it out from someone else, and so one. But I am so worried that I am going to make her terribly sick and stressed from the information - again, lupus, it hits her hard. Joints failing, nausea, vomiting, circulatory problems (loss of feeling in extremities) and such. I want to be honest but it feels like I either will make my sweet mother desperately ill or lie to her.

    I truly do not know what to do and it nags at me. I want to be the open and honest daughter but I don't want to take away from her job and my siblings bc she gets so utterly sick from stress/finding me out. what to do?!

  2. #2
    Featured Member HaydenBlue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family and stuff

    If I was in your situation, I'd lie through my teeth.

    If she is having stress over you being in adult - and it hits her in a bad cycle (stress, negativity, sickness) then it isn't worth telling her and risking her health. I doubt she is going to change her mind (being stressed + sick can keep a person in a negative head-space).

    She's already made it clear that she can't handle your truths. Some people will never accept what we do.

    So ask yourself what is more important, your moral compass of being honest? Or your mothers mental and physical health?







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  4. #3
    Veteran Member amberose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family and stuff

    ^I think it's also partially dependent on how much of a risk you believe that she may actually find out by other means. For example, does she spend a lot of time online, does she post pictures of you online, does she have many men who are close to her, do you have a website you promote a lot, are you/do you think you'll be a top model, things of that nature?

    None of these are guarantees that she would find out, just things to consider. Even if you are at a moderate risk of being "exposed" it may still be worth the risk to not tell her for the sake of her health. You could tell her and be guaranteed that she would get sick, or you could not tell her and only risk her getting sick in the future.

    I wish I could say that maybe there could be a way for you to ease her into the idea. But that sounds like it's not really an option. But you may need to reassure her that you are safe, happy and taking care of yourself regardless of what you decide.

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    Veteran Member AngeXx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family and stuff

    I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I can relate to the Lupus aspect....I've been going through years of back and forth with doctors with them thinking that Lupus is what I have. Ughh...the joy it's so hard to diagnose a lot of times, and just takes time. Anyways.........if there isn't a huge risk for her to find out I wouldn't tell her. I'd be vague and say I work from home.

    Heck.......I'd never tell my mom what I'm doing now. I wouldn't even bring it up even if she found out! Granted she's the most negative person I've met........and we aren't speak at all because I'm pregnant (granted it's not my first child, I'm married, have my own home, financial stable, etc.). Oh the joys.

    I do think you should do whatever is best for you. If you think she will be really distraught over I personally wouldn't tell. Maybe that's just me though.

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  8. #5
    Veteran Member naughtycamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family and stuff

    I wouldn't tell here if I was you ( you can just tell here that you are working for a call center from home).
    You are sure 100% that she will be very sad if she knows about it, but chances to be discovered from her or someone else reporting it to her are very minimal.

  9. #6
    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family and stuff

    This is a tough situation. It's like you're damn if you do and damn if you don't. I doubt she would find out on her own so I wouldn't volunteer the infos.
    I know she's your mother but by doing so, you'll just open yourself up to unfair judgement and the stress it'll put on her and you! Sometimes it's wise to keep just your mouth close!
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



  10. #7
    God/dess CourtneyRaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family and stuff

    I usually advocate being honest with the people who are close to you because it's easier to hear it straight from you than from some asshat who may decide to out you down the line. However, if you're really concerned that your mom would become ill over it I would just keep it on the DL for a while.

    If you don't want to lie about applying for and wanting the jobs she tells you about, why not tell her you've found a job doing data entry or call center work from home? This way she won't have to worry about you being "unemployed," because I'm sure if she think you're not making any income right now that might worry her a little, too.

    You could also bring up the idea of camming to her to gauge her reaction by telling her you have a "friend" who does it. Try telling her your "friend" gets paid to reply to emails from guys and send them pictures and chat with them. Make it seem really softcore and see how she reacts. If you expose her to the idea now, if and when you decide to tell her down the line she may have an easier time adjusting to it, especially if you paint the picture that it's not as extreme as she thinks. I hope it works out for you

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  12. #8
    Veteran Member AngeXx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Family and stuff

    Why don't you just say you do affiliate marketing, or make clips............then actually do it. You won't be lying if you do it. Granted you won't be going into the full extent.

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