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Thread: WOC - How do you disarm them?

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    Veteran Member la petite sexy's Avatar
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    Default WOC - How do you disarm them?

    So I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread specifically for women of color that work in clubs/areas that aren't as diverse or friendly towards us. I know this is a sensitive topic so I really hope this thread turns into something useful and not into a bunch of arguing.

    I'm working at this club in the mid-west that is beautiful. Like, this type of club is the reason why I started dancing. The dances are expensive and the earning potential is high but I'm having a hard time. I've danced in clubs with 'tense atmospheres' but it's been a loooooong time. At this point in my life I don't really have the energy for it and I would typically move on to a place where I felt more comfortable but I'm in love with this club and don't want to give up.

    Here are some examples of what I've been dealing with:

    I was sitting in VIP with a bachelor party with a couple of other girls. One of the girls gets on the podium and dances. They tipped her WELL. When she was done she had a pile of cash...lots of singles, some 5's at least one 20. One of the guys was like 'Oh I think it's your turn! Get up there. Your next.' So I get up there, the bachelor goes off to the bathroom, everyone acts dis-interested and the ones who did tip me tipped like $1 at a time. I think I made $10 or $15 :/

    Some guy last night told me his name was 'Digger'. I didn't think about it until later but based on how he said it and how he was acting I'm pretty sure he was fucking with me.

    I got on stage to dance and tried to engage this couple sitting (I could tell they had a chocolate aversion so I tried to be extra sweet) and they stared at my feet for the entire 1st song and looked all around the room for the last 2 songs. (come on, you can at least look me in the face and smile back)

    I went on stage another time and tried to engage this guy (again I could smell his 'aversion' from a mile away so I tried to be extra sweet and engaging) and before I even get on the stage good he starts to get up, says 'I have a prior engagement or I'd stay. I promise.' (he knew I knew what was up, and who says that in a strip club?) and wanders around the room.

    Guys going for a dance until their friend sees them and they wander off, tell me never mind, or ask me to just meet them in vip

    And other times when everyone leaves when I get on stage, guys acting like they don't want me to touch them, completely ignoring me when I speak to them or getting up and walking away or both...

    Most of the situations that I'm experiencing aren't new but usually when these things happen I brush it off because it's not as frequent and either a) I'm already making/have made my money or b) I know the ratio of assholes to the ratio of guys that love me in the room is balanced enough that I will still make money.

    I don't know. I'm just determined. I did some research and there was another WOC that posted that she worked at this place and banked and there are a couple of other ladies that work there now that seem to be doing ok. It's only been a few days so I'm not ready to give up and move on.

    So my question is do you ladies have any things you do or lines you use to disarm them when you know they typically aren't attracted to WOC?

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    Veteran Member la petite sexy's Avatar
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    Default Re: WOC - How do you disarm them?

    Quote Originally Posted by la petite sexy View Post
    I've danced in clubs with 'tense atmospheres' but it's been a loooooong time. At this point in my life I don't really have the energy for it and I would typically move on to a place where I felt more comfortable but I'm in love with this club and don't want to give up.



    Most of the situations that I'm experiencing aren't new but usually when these things happen I brush it off because it's not as frequent and either a) I'm already making/have made my money or b) I know the ratio of assholes to the ratio of guys that love me in the room is balanced enough that I will still make money.
    This^

    As I said before I usually don't waste my time but it's kind of difficult when that's the atmosphere of the entire club and not just a few assholes.

    Things have actually gotten much better. I don't know if things were slower customer wise and I didn't have many to choose from or if I changed my attitude and mindset but I'm making money now and the assholes aren't getting to me.

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    Veteran Member goddesskali's Avatar
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    Default Re: WOC - How do you disarm them?

    Wow, that is really crappy. Eventually, I had to stop dancing because I lost patience for that sort of stuff. But anyways...

    Sometimes you really have to go out on a limb and try something new.
    Maybe you can try to be silly. When dancing in clubs that were difficult I always went for humor; once I wore a sign reading "save the strippers - a thong is a terrible thing to waste." Even the sour puss types got a laugh out of it.

    When one club I worked at had nothing but "I don't buy dances" guys. I brought tarot cards to work, dressed up gypsy-ish and offered readings for $20. I made $250 the first night and didn't sell a single dance. Everyone else left owing the house.

    Another time I walked around wearing fairy wings & a magic wand. I looked like a complete dork but it was a conversation starter.

    Everyone likes to laugh.
    It's not about what you do for a living, it's about who you want to be.

    www.saucybrandconsulting.com | www.twitter.com/saucymktg

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    Default Re: WOC - How do you disarm them?

    I wear a Superwoman costume and tell people I'm going to "save their night." It works. But as far as WOC-- this may sound terrible but maybe find a white friend an use her to help you approach groups? Or maybe just call them on it by saying something like "you never know until you try it." I'm white and haven't gone through this, so I'm sorry if this is way off base.

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    Default Re: WOC - How do you disarm them?

    Quote Originally Posted by onalark View Post
    I wear a Superwoman costume and tell people I'm going to "save their night." It works. But as far as WOC-- this may sound terrible but maybe find a white friend an use her to help you approach groups? Or maybe just call them on it by saying something like "you never know until you try it." I'm white and haven't gone through this, so I'm sorry if this is way off base.
    That is brilliant!
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: WOC - How do you disarm them?

    Quote Originally Posted by la petite sexy View Post
    Some guy last night told me his name was 'Digger'.
    I got little to add to this thread hun but, Ill say cant tell you how many times I used hear "my names is DiggLer".. aka boogie nights.. I was like whatever.
    don't hate the player hate the game......

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    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
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    Default Re: WOC - How do you disarm them?

    Hey there, sorry to hear you've had to endure so many morons in your club. If you expect to be turned down custies will smell it a mile off making them more likely to do it so keep your confidence and your attitude. In my opinion it's going to be difficult to change the re-action of the guys in groups, if they care that much about being judged by their friends not much you can say can change that so perhaps its best to ignore them. Go for the guys on their own and draw them in with your personality. If a guy on his own is at first intimidated by you because you're a WOC I don't think you need to say a specific thing to disarm him, just stroke his ego, make good conversation and make him feel as though he has a bond with you. In my opinion you should completely ignore the men who act like they don't want you to touch them/ walk away from you etc.. they are ignorant racists and not deserving of your time.

    If i were you I would change my selling tactic. Rather than trying to sell lots of dances to lots of different people be selective and focus on selling VIPs to a couple of guys. One of the top earners at my club doesn't sell many dances because she isn't the conventionally pretty girl next door type but she sells long periods of time in the VIP room to a couple of custies. She concentrates on older business men. She will draw them in with her personality, make them feel really special and she will spend ages with them in the champagne room. This could especially work for you because you are a unique beauty in the club, like a rare tropical bird, some men will find you particularly desirable because you stand out so focus on the men that appreciate your beauty rather than trying to convince the ones that don't.

    Let us know how it goes.

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