Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Annastasi's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    secret headquarters
    Posts
    173
    Thanks
    139
    Thanked 148 Times in 65 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    So last week my bf cheated on me with an old flame, in our own house, while I was upstairs sleeping. When I asked him about the marks on his neck as he came to bed he didn't remember anything because he was blackout drunk. Wonderful.

    I feel like I've lost all my faith in people, in particular men. Work is definitely not helping. Every time I dance for some asshole wearing a wedding ring I want to punch him. I keep hiding in the bathroom and crying mid-shift. The only good thing is that I'm drinking less at work than I ever did -- partly because I tend to go on crying jags when I'm tipsy, partly because I don't want to be like the b/f and do something stupid.

    I think I'm depressed. I've lost all my confidence, and all my interest in sex. I just sit in my room and stare. I used to be able to talk to the men at work easily, and now I can't approach anyone but my regulars. Even with them, it's exhausting just to be around them.

    I know I should take time off, but I'm also losing a roommate at the end of the month and need to save money. I also have a BA scheduled (finally!) next month, and need to save up money to take that time off for recovery.

    How can I hang in there and cope until the end of the month? I feel like I'm losing my mind.

  2. #2
    Featured Member Spinnerette's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,033
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1,379 Times in 535 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    Power through it. I know it may seem hard, but don't project your feelings about your (ex) boyfriend on to every customer you meet. They were there before he cheated and they'll continue to be there even if you're not. Their actions have nothing to do with you as long as they're paying. You'll drive yourself crazy (and broke) worrying about how their SO's feel.

    I would say if you can afford to take a few days off to get through the bulk of the grieving process, do that. Meditate, take nice hot bubble baths, breathe deep. Pamper yourself. Get centered and back to your hustle mindset at least long enough to get what money you need for your BA break.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Spinnerette For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2012
    Location
    SF
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    128
    Thanked 128 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    I say take a bit of time off of work to pamper yourself physically and mentally. Go shopping, go to the park and meditate, smoke weed, watch shitty movies until the break of dawn, eat a tub of ice cream, whatever makes you realize that yes, you can enjoy life without your ex. I'm not saying you need to get over him, because you obviously had very real feeling, but realizing there are other things that make you happy can be great.
    Also, maybe try to dance just for younger guys for a bit. You probably won't make as much money, but it's a good change to improve your young guy hustle.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to zola For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Veteran Member BabyLove1981's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    207
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked 201 Times in 80 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    I'm am soooooo incredibly sorry this happened to you. =( My hubby and I started camming just this past October of last year. Well in August his friend decided to spill the beans about how he has SEVERAL online dating accounts and was meeting girls AND their Husbands for sex. Like swinger accounts. This was NO match.com type of thing. We had been married for 5 years. He eventually admitted to meeting with a couple and I made him pull up the account to show me who they were, which was ac ouple froma nearby city. I just wanted to see. I made him delete the account. And after many months (which we are still dealing with) I stayed with him. We have FIVE boys. I guess I stayed becuase I dont know what else to do. Being a "stay at home" mom is all I've known for a while now.

    THEN, all the sudden, I got pissed. And ANGRY. MAinly cause the bitch he was meeting didn't even compare to me. And I'm not talking about just looks. She actually looked a ALOT like me. It was kind of scary. So then I figured...well, maybe I wasn't giving him what he needed. Uh, duh. I take care of FIVE BOYS. Sorry, if I don't look porn star ready and willing to suck your dick on a whim when I have to take boys to ball games in the afternoon and cook you fucking dinner. So to get him back in a way and slightly tip into his sexuality I opened these cam accounts. At first it was to piss him off or to show him...I am sexual too bitch. lol It was so crazy becuase he NEVER expressed being swingers to me. Or anything like that. Hell, when he cheated I thought our sex life was wonderful! Needless to say I stayed with him. We started camming and he actually saw that I can be sexual and he still to this day gets a little jealous when I skype or men pay me soooo much attention.

    DONT let it get you down! Yes, I stayed, and I felt like shit for a few months. I felt I was ugly, un worthy, not sexy enough and all that. If you stay, do something to make you feel soooo damn sexy. Beat his as at least once, (and the gal). If you don't stay, STILL do something that makes you what you are BEAUTIFUL!. Men are stupid! Most times they dont even cheat on GF with ppl that look better. Its usually just a hoe that was willing to suck their dick. And, sorry for being blunt, but most men will let them.

    And they are not worth it anyway






  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BabyLove1981 For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    I went through something with someone I was seeing and it was hell for me too. I would eat once a day and slept lots of crazy hours. Didn't have the energy and forced myself to work too, bc like you...couldn't afford to take time off at that time. Needed the money. That's the fkn worst. I hope you feel better soon. I know the feeling.


    Read a positive/self help book. It helps. I like "The Power".

    I also love to meditate. It helps me greatly.

    When you go to work, think about money goals. At work, money targets should be the only thing on your mind. Don't even look at the customers like human beings, such as looking at their rings. When they bitch and moan about their S.O., let it go from one ear out the other. Don't focus on their personal lives. Their flaws is not our problem, it's what's in their wallet.

    Remember, we're like actresses who pretend to give two fucks about most of their fucked up lives. Strippers, our life is fabulous bc we're about that life...hehe Just smile and agree to almost everything. Look at them like robotic ATMs that they are(hey, we're "sex objects"), and your hustling is your "pin code" to access cash. Actually, all of us should always be like this at all times.

    At work, don't talk about your personal issues during or before your shift. Wait til you're done if you wanna talk about things. Better yet, do it on a day off.

    If you happen to be working on a slow shift and there isn't anyone to hustle on, chat it up with a staff member. Read something while eating during break.

    Learn to protect yourself from negative energy.

    Hang around ppl who make you feel good and happy. Friends and family that you care about. Whether its someone who always makes you laugh, or a grounded person who always gives the best advice. Be around positive ppl who can help distract your mind. Try not to be alone.

    Hang in there. Time heals wounds. Xoxo
    Last edited by Vyanka; 05-05-2012 at 11:04 AM. Reason: eta

  9. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Vyanka For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    BTW Annastasi, its great that you're not drinking. Alcohol makes you more emotional.

    If you're not eating due to depression, try juicing and protein shakes at least. Take vitamins, esp B12 to boost your appetite. No piece of shit man is worth getting ill over.
    Last edited by Vyanka; 05-05-2012 at 06:06 AM. Reason: eta

  11. #7
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    Quote Originally Posted by Annastasi View Post
    I think I'm depressed. I've lost all my confidence, and all my interest in sex.
    Of course you are depressed--someone you were very close to stabbed you in the back. And the fact that he cheated on you has undermined your self-confidence and thus your sex drive. It's only human to feel this way. However these people have some great advice.

    Bottom line is--never let any one person's affection (or lack thereof) control your sexual confidence and self esteem. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but it's a much better way to live, once you get used to thinking this way.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  12. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Djoser For This Useful Post:


  13. #8
    Veteran Member Tiabambina's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    253
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked 197 Times in 102 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    I've been through this with two different boyfriends. It sounded from your post like you weren't going to leave him....so maybe take yourself away from the situation for a bit would help. I'm sure being in the same place where the cheating occured and having to see his face everyday isn't helping you at all. Maybe stay at a friend's place or something until you decide what you're going to do. I can honestly tell you, I have stayed with a cheater before and you'll never trust or even like them again. Sure you stay together but you just end up hating him.

    If your anything like me, money will ALWAYS make me feel better. Always. After a breakup I used to always take mini strip trips to a club I'd always been wanting to try but didn't want to spend the weekend away from my SO at the time. Being in a new environment and being more motivated to work really made me feel better. I'd get new outfits, go shopping in the day and come back after the weekend a whole new person. I hope you start to feel better soon, I know that pain you're going through and it sucks. The best thing for you at the moment is time. Every day that goes by you'll feel a bit better than the last.

    Ps: And if it helps, look at it as your tiny little revenge on men by taking their money while you work. Maybe that will help you get over the feeling bad part.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tiabambina For This Useful Post:


  15. #9
    Member Buddysmom's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    48
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 104 Times in 33 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    What a total ass hat. If my man had done to me what yours did to you I would probably have the same reaction as you. I feel like it's harder on adult performers to be cheated on because our jobs are to turn men on, and if we get cheated on we feel like "I can give 50 men boners in one night because I'm so sexy, but my own man goes and gets ass on the side."

    Your confidence is shot. The one man you actually cared about broke your heart. If I was you, I would buy a shit ton of weed, and spend a week getting high as fuck and watching TV all day. It'll help get your mind off things and help you sleep. Then after a week I would bet you'd be eager to start working again because you'll be recharged, ready to earn money, and ready to be social.

    As far as being at work goes, we all know the number one thing that deters men from spending money is a sad/mopey girl. If you're sad at work, you won't earn money. If you're not earning money, you're just going to feel even more depressed. It's a blackhole of sadness.

    I don't think people realize how tough our jobs can be. We have to ignore whatever is going on in our personal lives and not let it affect our work. If we have a fight with our SO, had a bad day, get our periods, etc, we can't bring that to work. My trick for getting myself in to the money-making mode is to pretend I'm like a old time Hollywood actress putting my make up on, getting ready for a show. I know it's kind of silly, but putting on some upbeat music, picking out a sexy outfit, applying my false lashes just takes me from regular girl to cam star. Puts me in the mood. You need to find that trick that gets your mind off your real life and in to an earner.

    I genuinely wish you the best. And remember, do have some savings or emergency money. Every girl gets burned out from time to time and we need to take a break. That's when the money you stashed away can come in handy.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to Buddysmom For This Useful Post:


  17. #10
    Senior Member Annastasi's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    secret headquarters
    Posts
    173
    Thanks
    139
    Thanked 148 Times in 65 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Boyfriend cheated on me...can't make money.

    Thank you all for all the great advice. I do think I need to get away for a while.

    I'm staying with him for now; I'm still not 100% sure that I will ever get over this, but I want to try. I believe him when he says it will never happen again...so we're "dating" again for now. No sleeping together. He seems to be trying hard and genuinely regrets what happened. We'll see, I guess.

    Thank you all again. I needed to vent. Love.

Similar Threads

  1. So I don't make money and I've never made money
    By Cammi in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 68
    Last Post: 03-12-2017, 01:28 AM
  2. Spend Money to Make Money
    By girlundressed in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 01-25-2013, 04:40 PM
  3. I make more money than my military boyfriend...
    By sactinydancersf in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-13-2009, 09:04 PM
  4. Crafts your boyfriend won't make...
    By Paris in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-23-2005, 07:28 AM
  5. No Boyfriend=more Money
    By pimpy718 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 12-11-2004, 07:10 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •