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Thread: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

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    Default My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    My daughter is 72lbs and according to doctors, the average weight for a 7 year old is around 52lbs. So she's 20lbs overweight. She is in a size 10/12 pants. I feel like a horrible person for saying this but I'm disgusted. I try not to feed her junk food but she sneaks it. Or when I'm at work my husband gives her whatever she wants. Same with his dad, her grandpa. All she wants to do when she's home is EAT. I can't take it anymore. I kind of flipped out a few minutes ago. I don't want to say what I said to her because it was wrong and very harsh. We went grocery shopping today and I bought celery, carrots, cucumbers, bananas, grapes, strawberries, etc... That's all snack-ish food though. What can I feed her as a meal that's healthy? And that she'll want to eat?

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    "All she wants to do when she's home is EAT." It sounds like boredom to me? Like, "I'm bored, so I'll use food to pass the time."

    Is she active outside with neighborhood friends or keep busy when she's home? Keeping the mind active and focused can help fight against those false cravings for food.

    Chicken and Fish are healthy. Are there any kind of vegetables she likes? Cook those and give her a good sized portions of veggies, then smaller portions of whatever else you're having for dinner.

    Green smoothies are healthy and tasty. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/groovy-green-smoothie/

    But I think maybe the root of the problem is that you could be doing a lot to help and guide her to healthy eating choices but if the rest of the family won't be firm alongside you then you're fighting an uphill battle - ie instead of coming to you for something to eat she'd rather go ask hubby for McDonalds or cookies, knowing that he'll give in and give it to her.

    Maybe sit down with them and try and talk to them about this and see where you get?
    Last edited by HaydenBlue; 08-09-2012 at 02:15 AM.







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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    how tall is she? does she seem overweight to you (i mean when you look at her)?

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Portion control. Physical exercise.

    It's not always what a child eats but how much. Easy way is to maintain a calorie count dairy and a routine of scheduled meals. Have an idea of how much calories she intakes compared to burning daily. Genetics is always a factor as well.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    First you need a united front. Talk to your man, do what you need to, to get him on board.

    Also try getting her active, either dance classes, sports. stuff she thinks is fun but can burn off the extra weight. Then you can start selling her on how healthy food can make her even better at it. You might have to go out for walks or bike rides, swimming to get the ball rolling.

    Try getting the junkier drinks out of the house, things like soda and even fruit juice can have a ton of sugar and other bad chemicals
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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Does she play any sports? Is there a soccer league for girls near you?

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    My 2cents-I don't know what you've said to her already but please, from experience-hide your concerns and do not make this a personal issue for her. Make healthy food for the whole household if you're cooking. Set a good example-don't tell her your concerns or that you think she's fat or have any body else mention her weight to her. Making a child aware that her weight/the way she looks matters to other people is a recipe for insecurities and low self esteem. Sneak her thinner! Sure some folk may disagree and I speak only from personal experience. My anorexia began with my being so so upset that I was judged as an overweight child, my last words before I went into a downward spiral, to my Mother were 'I will lose this weight if it kills me' (and it almost did). I also said to my mother that she should love me no matter what I looked like-I am sure she did!But children think a lot more 'Black and White' than adults. It never does others any harm to eat healthier-try to make it fun, rather than emphasise weight or even health, tell her you're wanting the whole family to try some new foods out.
    Exercise is a good thing to do as a family or make friends with some Mums whose kids do classes/dancing/other things that she may enjoy, borrow a dog and go for walks-also valuable mother and daughter time if you can fit it in, is that.If you need healthy recipe ideas message me what kind of stuff you may normally feed her and I will pm with a healthier version-apologies if I am 'teaching my gran to suck eggs' !

    Good luck! x

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    72lbs is big for a 7 year old, I weighed that much in 7th grade (12yrs old). You're right to be concerned. I agree about the united front. And just stop buying junk altogether. She will eat what she sees you eat. I'm super involved in making healthy meals right now because the Dr told me I needed to clean up my husband's diet. I even made homemade yoghurt last night- SO SIMPLE and no sugar at all. If you want any recipes or anything I would be more than happy to share!

    A dance class would be awesome for her. I agree it sounds like she's bored. Kids these days just don't seem to play outside or anything as much as we did. Summer is coming too, maybe a swim class? All the kids I know love playing in the water!

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Adict View Post
    Portion control. Physical exercise.

    It's not always what a child eats but how much. Easy way is to maintain a calorie count dairy and a routine of scheduled meals. Have an idea of how much calories she intakes compared to burning daily. Genetics is always a factor as well.
    I agree with this. But I wouldn't come at her and say she's going on a diet and needs to add her calories, etc, etc.

    I'd eyeball what she eats. But I think getting her up and moving (dance class, swimming are good ideas) and healthy eating choices and she'd burn it off. She's young. Kids have fast metabolisms.







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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    I don't have kids, but this seriously reminds me of an article in April's Vogue. The woman did restrict her daughter's calories, and made sure she ate healthy, and was careful about snacks. The same people who gave her shit for her daughter being overweight gave her shit for putting her on a diet.
    Really, don't let anyone tell you what to do or don't. It's your daughters health, not their's. I really think it might be a good idea to explain why you're doing it all. I'm sure she does know she is overweight compared to other kids, and you can say you just want her healthy and happy. I'd take control of your family and just say if they bring that into the house and endanger your daughter's health, it's going out.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Quote Originally Posted by zola View Post
    I don't have kids, but this seriously reminds me of an article in April's Vogue. The woman did restrict her daughter's calories, and made sure she ate healthy, and was careful about snacks. The same people who gave her shit for her daughter being overweight gave her shit for putting her on a diet.
    Really, don't let anyone tell you what to do or don't. It's your daughters health, not their's. I really think it might be a good idea to explain why you're doing it all. I'm sure she does know she is overweight compared to other kids, and you can say you just want her healthy and happy. I'd take control of your family and just say if they bring that into the house and endanger your daughter's health, it's going out.
    Your right, anyone's free to do/teach their kid what they want.

    But kids don't understand what a diet is. Like another poster said 'very black-and-white' - and if they fail they feel awful and take it very personally, go into obsessions and often come out with eating disorders. It's putting a bigger burden on a 7 year old then there needs to be.

    She's 7. Not 17. 20lbs - she could swim and play and burn that right off in a summer. I wouldn't go as drastic as putting a girl on a diet. Give her healthy things to eat and encourage her to exercise more (in the form of play/sports) and then see. If it's not working then it could be something genetic. Until you try some things, you just don't know.

    That's IMO of course.







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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Oh! And if she's a non-veggie person like Hayden described but likes carbs- you can hide them. I often make mashed potatoes with 50% parsnips, cauliflower or celery root. Once you mash it all up, no one is the wiser and it doesn't taste different. Carrots or spinach are easy to puree and add to tomato sauce for pasta. Use spinach pasta or whole wheat- kids like colourful stuff. Stuff like tacos and burritos are also super easy to modify. You could also do lettuce wraps. Zucchini muffins are delicious and good for you!

    Basically what I'm saying is this should end up being very easy and loads of fun.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    You can make tasty pasta/noodle/quinoa dishes with your own home made sauces with loads of blended veggies. If she likes burgers/pizza, make them healthier and with less cheese-make your own burgers using lean meat or beans (I'm a vegan but I know not everybody is so am being realistic!) Make your own chips at home, teach her how to cook as a good recreational mother/daughter activity as well as a valuable tool for later life-make it fun and a nice journey together

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    I agree with this. But I wouldn't come at her and say she's going on a diet and needs to add her calories, etc, etc.
    Kaia keeps the journal. It's pretty easy to calculate a general idea of her daughters daily routine. Obvious she can't catch everything but the meals she prepares or takes her out are simple enough to count. No drastic diets. Just little daily adjustments.
    Last edited by The_Adict; 05-10-2012 at 06:55 PM.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    I've recently have been getting healthier with my kids too....after finding out about Gage's cavities!

    It actually helped when he heard it from someone else that he can't have anymore soda and he only gets one sweet a day. The dentist told him that and he listened.

    I know this is kind of a different situation, but maybe any of what I've been doing, might help.

    I've had him start helping picking out healthy snacks and drinks.
    We play treasure hunt in the grocery store. Like in the juice aisle, whoever finds the 100% first (100% fruit juice) wins!
    and what they win IS a juice. I know it might be kinda corny, but it works for me lol

    One more thing is I've been playing other games...there's even sites with games that teach you what foods are healthy and about portion control:



    I just found it helps (for me at least) to make eating healthy fun.
    He actually gets excited about it.
    (and when I picked up those peanut butter M&M's earlier, even my 4 year old told me..."nooo..Mommy, that has toooo much sugar!")
    lol, so it's helping me too!

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    ^while 100% juice is better than some HFCS crap keep in mindthe juice, unless massively watered down
    Is still going to rot the teeth out of his head andgive him a sugar rush.

    My friend always gave his son 100% juice and
    His baby teeth ALL had to have massive dental work. Thank goodness his adult teeth is coming in soon. But his grandparents feed him nothing but sugar when babysitting him
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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    ^while 100% juice is better than some HFCS crap keep in mindthe juice, unless massively watered down
    Is still going to rot the teeth out of his head andgive him a sugar rush.

    My friend always gave his son 100% juice and
    His baby teeth ALL had to have massive dental work. Thank goodness his adult teeth is coming in soon. But his grandparents feed him nothing but sugar when babysitting him
    It's fine sparingly. I was given 100% juice as a child and never had a cavity in my baby teeth. I have one cavity in my adult teeth. It has more to do with the time of day the juice is given, how frequently, and how vigilant parents are about brushing.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    oh yeah, I forgot to add that this kid drinks like he's dying in the desert of thirst. He just drinks all the time. His dad was the same time.
    So a lot of fruit juice went through him before his teeth got like that.
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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    I don't have any children by birth but I do have a 9 year old step daughter who stays with us all year except the summer (when her evil mother spoils her rotten, lol).

    The rule in our house is no television except for on the weekend after dinner.
    It has been like that a long time so she's used to not watching a lot of TV so she's used to playing outdoors with her friends.
    For her birthday we buy her things to use outside like bikes, skates, etc.
    We keep her going in physical activities and we all go swimming, running, biking, etc together
    The majority of the meals I prepare are healthy (my hubby loves junk too much so sometimes he wins)

    My point? Today's children spend majority of their time sitting around the tube eating junk. We buy them DVDs and videogames instead of a new bike or scooter like the good ol' days.
    Instead of doing outside activities with our children we watch movies or play video games.

    We have to change our lifestyles in order to change theirs.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    Your right, anyone's free to do/teach their kid what they want.

    But kids don't understand what a diet is. Like another poster said 'very black-and-white' - and if they fail they feel awful and take it very personally, go into obsessions and often come out with eating disorders. It's putting a bigger burden on a 7 year old then there needs to be.

    She's 7. Not 17. 20lbs - she could swim and play and burn that right off in a summer. I wouldn't go as drastic as putting a girl on a diet. Give her healthy things to eat and encourage her to exercise more (in the form of play/sports) and then see. If it's not working then it could be something genetic. Until you try some things, you just don't know.

    That's IMO of course.
    Yeah, I agree, it is a very sensitive topic. I guess though, and I don't know the OP's kid so I can't say for sure, if your kid had a problem with over eating (not just eating unhealthy food), I would be concerned. Child obesity just makes me so sad, and I guess at the rate of obesity (not chubbiness of course), vs eating disorders, I'd be more scared about that. But I agree, starting off small (more exercise), and getting tested at the doctor is the right way to go.
    Maybe the doctor could even recommend a diet plan. (not diet as in restricting, just diet as in what you put in your body. )

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    But kids don't understand what a diet is. Like another poster said 'very black-and-white' - and if they fail they feel awful and take it very personally, go into obsessions and often come out with eating disorders. It's putting a bigger burden on a 7 year old then there needs to be.

    She's 7. Not 17. 20lbs - she could swim and play and burn that right off in a summer. I wouldn't go as drastic as putting a girl on a diet. Give her healthy things to eat and encourage her to exercise more (in the form of play/sports) and then see. If it's not working then it could be something genetic. Until you try some things, you just don't know.
    I wish I could thank Hayden 100 times. IMHO she is right on the money.

    The kid is 7. Of course she'll eat all the junk that she can. It is not her fault, but rather that of her caregivers. IMHO all you'll do by coming down heavy on her is mess her up in the head.

    I agree with hayden that this problem would probably work itself out simply through getting her more active and by natural growth, so long as the adults stop giving her junk. Overtly putting a 7 year old child on a diet is a little extreme and not only could give her a life long complex, but could also deprive her of important nutrients that she needs to keep fueling her growth.

    In terms of feeding her what she wants, IMHO if you get rid of the so-called "kids foods" (chicken nuggets, pizza bites, etc.) and move her to adult meals, and remove the sweets from the house and keep a fruit bowl (apples, oranges, bananas, pears), then I think that half the battle will be won right there. My kids, including my 6 year old, eat steak, meatloaf, homemade soups, a variety of chicken dishes, stews, roasts, pasta with homemade meatballs and sauce, etc., and they are well fed and well proportioned. They don't always like everything that we give them, but if they are hungry enough they will eat it. And when they are between meals and get hungry, they will hit the fruit bowl when they are not given other options.

    IMHO your husband and father are really making this much harder and it is not like they cannot see that she is getting big. Next time she wants something yummy for dinner, instead of taking her to McD's maybe one of them could throw a steak on the grill. Cooking helps a tremendous amount, as does having set meal times.

    Anyway, just my and good luck!
    Last edited by rickdugan; 05-11-2012 at 04:02 AM.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Thanks everyone
    She's a really active kid which really confuses me. Maybe it is just baby fat, IDK.. There's alot of really great suggestions in here and food ideas that I'm excited to try! And alot of you are right... I do need to get everyone on the same page when it comes to feeding her healthy things. I KNOW I shouldn't be hard on her and I'm usually not. I guess yesterday when she wanted to wear shorts and all of her size 8's were too small and I had to put her in 10/12's, I kind of freaked out :/ I feel horrible about it now She's still young so I have a chance to fix things..

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    From:
    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vau...77/2/index.htm

    Girls who compete in sports get better grades, graduate at higher rates and have more confidence. The vast majority avoid unplanned pregnancies, drugs, obesity, depression and suicide.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Causes of overweight: http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/what-is-obesity
    It focus on the many facets of overweight. Physical, psychological, etc. what causes it.
    and like everyone says, don't come out and tell her to lose weight because lets just say I had a MOMMY dearest, which led to me rebelling and and just being fat to piss her off, then later after high school eating disorders.-yay- fun!! So, sometimes food issues are the tip of an iceburg.

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    Default Re: My 7 year old is overweight.. help!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    Thanks everyone She's a really active kid which really confuses me.
    Yes, I'm sure her current diet is completely overwhelming any weight-moderating effects of her exercise.

    Exercise is obviously crucial to her development and well-being, and along the margins it can help with weight control. But if a child has a huge daily calorie intake that includes a ton of junk, there are not enough hours in the day or sports in the world for her to burn them off.

    Many of the posters on this site have terrific insight on diet and exercise, and you've had some excellent advice as a result.

    Here are some suggestions on how to handle the interaction with your daughter when you get the push-back from her. This is just based on my experience with my own daughter, so you can take or leave any of this.

    Go crazy with fresh fruits and vegetables -- stock up the house in a way that they are always visible (my kitchen counter looks like a farmer's market). It sounds like you've already started down this path, and that's perfect.

    When I would propose fresh fruit to my daughter as a snack she would say "But I don't want an (apple, banana, pear, peach, etc.), I want this 'Fresh and Fruity Juicy Snack Drink'" (translation: Hyper-Sugar-Infused-Zero-Real-Fruit-Massive-Calorie-Injection Device.)

    Even if you've dumped all the junk food out the back door, there are the innocent-sounding foods like this, which are similar to the "fat-free muffins," which as you know are the food producers' version of "clean coal." So it's important to dump "healthy sounding" snacks like "fresh fruit bars" or "healthy nut crunch bars," and other processed foods that look healthy on the surface, but whose sugar and calorie content could fuel an aircraft carrier for a month.

    Fresh-fruit smoothies can get you over the obstacles she throws up to fruit, and get her excited enough to ask regularly for them. The smoothies I make consist of:

    Frozen bananas, on the riper side, usually 2 or 3
    Fresh strawberries, about 25 or so
    Fresh pear (1)
    1 cup soy milk
    3 cups ice
    2 tablespoons honey (you can also 2 tbsp. brown sugar instead)

    If you mix these up just right and run them through the blender, you will come up with something that is sweet and smooth and satisfying and with a mouth feel very close to that of a milk shake.

    You may also need to deal with the Great McDonalds Hijacking of My Child's Brain, which I believe starts at conception, but that's another post.

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