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Thread: Interesting change

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Interesting change

    So months and months ago, I created a post about my temptation to cheat on my husband. Long story short, he is the only man I've ever slept with. He, however, has been around the block once or twice. Most of the time, I'm so proud to have only been with him and wouldn't change it for anything. Other times, I'm very bitter and feel deprived and jealous. It's petty, but not much I can do about it.

    Several ladies suggested an open relationship. My immediate response was, "No! He'll NEVER go for that!"

    Well, I worked up the courage to ask him. My husband and I have always been very open and honest with each other; he is the most empathetic man I've ever met and I feel like I can talk to him about anything. I figured, maybe he's feeling the same way I am and he just hasn't brought it up.

    His reaction surprised me a bit. At first, he firmly said no, was a little defensive and had suspicions that i'd already cheated on him. After calming down a bit, he was reluctant and finally, he agreed. I was NOT pressing him...I was trying to reassure him that if this is something he's firmly against, then I respect that. But he insisted he was fine and told me he would sleep on it for a week, then let me know.

    I was pretty sure he was only agreeing for my sake and if I slept with anyone else, he'd grow to hate me for it. But last night, he told me that he masturbated while imagining me with another man. Then we talked about me bringing girls home...he seems eager to exercise his end of the bargain and says he's extremely turned on by the idea of me and a guy. (I'm thinking he also might be a little bi-curious.)

    So now, I'm wondering, when is it ok to go out and have some fun? I don't wanna just hop in the sack with someone...maybe just the next time the opportunity presents itself? Should I still be worried about my husband's hesitation?

    I don't want to seem like I have a problematic marriage or that my husband is lacking in something....it's all me. It's an urge that resurfaces no matter how much I supress it, and I feel like I will ultimately cheat on him if I keep ignoring it.

    Also, I have a lot of anxiety about the actual sex...since I've only been with my husband, I feel a little bit bashful and have some fears of not being good enough or whatever. Not that taking a dick is really all that hard. Anyway, thoughts are appreciated!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

  2. #2
    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Interesting change

    hmmm....

    As an escort, I say you two should hire a couples friendly escort for your first time so she can kind of lead you through.
    Or, you could go the bar or swingers bar route and find a woman who's down with having a threesome with you.

    Also, if you were to sleep with another man, would your husband be watching the first time? Or would you be doing it
    on your own to kind of "settle in" and then engaging in voyeuristic encounters?

    Time-wise, I think you guys still have a bit of time in front of you unless you get lucky right off the bat with finding
    someone who wants a threesome that you both like. It's both easier and harder on the escort front because you both
    can research different reviews and pictures, and find someone you both like. On the other hand, the magical chemistry
    of threesomes is hard to predict unless you've been hanging out with a person all night long and then all three of you
    go back to your place to do the deed.

    I almost think you guys need to come up with something like a once a week policy where he can go sleep with someone,
    and you can go sleep with someone once a week and the other person is able to ask whatever questions they want when
    the spouse comes home. But, if you guys do the threesome first, it's not like jealousy should become an issue (though
    jealousy isn't logical) because you both were there participating.

    I've done both a MMF and a FFM for work and I much prefered the MMF. Less complicated in my opinion. Plus, I'm not
    that into girls. So it might be easier for you both to arrange a MMF than a FFM if you are just going to the bars.
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Interesting change

    Eehhh, I just don't think I could invite a stranger into a threesome. I have a lot of curious female friends who may be interested and whom I am very attracted to. I have trouble being attracted to all strangers, really. The only men I've really been interested in are my friends. (NOT extremely close friends who know my husband.) I feel like there is already an established trust with friends, and sex is something that is often overwhelming for me, so I need to be able to trust them, to an extent.

    My husband and I sat down and really discussed all of our fears aand anxieties about this. For example, he is worried about a physical fling turning into an emotional affair. So, we agreed to establish a firm boundary with our partners beforehand. I am not comfortable with him bringing someone into the house while I'm not there..this is momma bear's den and momma bear's cub is sleeping in the next room. Talking that out with him really did help both of us.

    Since we both run on pretty tight schedules, I promised him a regular night out at the bar and as long as he's home at a decent hour, (he wakes up with our daughter) I won't worry about where he's been. I usually go for breakfast after work, or grocery shop and I don't come home until several hours after my shift. That's probably the timeframe I would have for my fun time.

    A problem we ran into is he wants complete, open honesty about who we've been with and when. I, however, do NOT want to hear about what he does when I'm not around. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know if I could bring myself to tell him. Despite his willingness to participate, I still worry about upsetting him and I still feel a sense of wrong doing. At the very least, he agreed to give me some time before confessing to anything. Meaning he doesn't expect me to come home the same night and tell him all about my adventures.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

  4. #4
    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Interesting change

    I remember reading that threesomes in a marriage require some distance from the third partner.
    Otherwise, one of you is going to worry that the other is too attracted to them and could view them
    in an emotional way that threatens the marriage. Also, if things go bad, are you going to be able
    to look at them the same way as friends?

    However the rest of it sounds good-- communication is going to be the most important thing--
    and you're going to have to KEEP communicating, even if you're just reaffirming the stuff you've
    both said before to make sure everyone is still okay with how things are progressing.
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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