So months and months ago, I created a post about my temptation to cheat on my husband. Long story short, he is the only man I've ever slept with. He, however, has been around the block once or twice. Most of the time, I'm so proud to have only been with him and wouldn't change it for anything. Other times, I'm very bitter and feel deprived and jealous. It's petty, but not much I can do about it.
Several ladies suggested an open relationship. My immediate response was, "No! He'll NEVER go for that!"
Well, I worked up the courage to ask him. My husband and I have always been very open and honest with each other; he is the most empathetic man I've ever met and I feel like I can talk to him about anything. I figured, maybe he's feeling the same way I am and he just hasn't brought it up.
His reaction surprised me a bit. At first, he firmly said no, was a little defensive and had suspicions that i'd already cheated on him. After calming down a bit, he was reluctant and finally, he agreed. I was NOT pressing him...I was trying to reassure him that if this is something he's firmly against, then I respect that. But he insisted he was fine and told me he would sleep on it for a week, then let me know.
I was pretty sure he was only agreeing for my sake and if I slept with anyone else, he'd grow to hate me for it. But last night, he told me that he masturbated while imagining me with another man. Then we talked about me bringing girls home...he seems eager to exercise his end of the bargain and says he's extremely turned on by the idea of me and a guy. (I'm thinking he also might be a little bi-curious.)
So now, I'm wondering, when is it ok to go out and have some fun? I don't wanna just hop in the sack with someone...maybe just the next time the opportunity presents itself? Should I still be worried about my husband's hesitation?
I don't want to seem like I have a problematic marriage or that my husband is lacking in something....it's all me. It's an urge that resurfaces no matter how much I supress it, and I feel like I will ultimately cheat on him if I keep ignoring it.
Also, I have a lot of anxiety about the actual sex...since I've only been with my husband, I feel a little bit bashful and have some fears of not being good enough or whatever. Not that taking a dick is really all that hard. Anyway, thoughts are appreciated!



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