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Thread: Toxic Person in my life

  1. #1
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Toxic Person in my life

    Before I got a place here, I'd fly back and forth cross country for work. I met this girl at work, she was cool and offered me to stay with her and split the rent rather than blowing money on hotels. She provided transportation which was extra awesome. Turns out, she's very needy- always need money, never works, spends money on drugs instead of paying her bills, she gets evicted or kicked out by someone from every place she lives in, full of drama, kinda delusional- which explains why she was so nice to me. She needed me and she helped me from living in hotels and was A LOT cheaper so I stuck with it. We helped eachother.

    She never stays in one place and always has a falling out with the owner of the place and since I'm the one shacking up with her everywhere we go, I'm involved. She lies just about everything- but I honestly believe she believes her own lies. She claims that she's dating TIESTO. She used my credit card while I was at work one day to pay her phone bill without my permission.

    She's batshit crazy- she kicked the door in and trashed her room mates room- broken mirrors everything. She is extremely embarrassing and gets into fights with people everywhere, she's always calling the police on people..

    She drives a really old Honda and my boyfriend offered to fill her gas tank up and she insisted that he should use PREMIUM GAS because "the car runs better on it." She even asked my boyfriend after a day of meeting him to borrow $300. He was so DISGUSTED with her that he packed up our things and took us to a hotel.

    The girl has zero class- one night we were sitting with a group of guys at work and she goes- "Do you want a bump?" IN FRONT OF THE GUYS- who were older gentlemen on a business trip. I didn't even know she had blow in her purse. I was so embarrassed that I walked away even after making a deal with one of the guys.

    I can go on and on with many stories of her craziness, her lying, stealing, irresponsibility, always asking me for money, always broke and hungry etc. The reason why she remained in my life is because she did help me out a lot by giving me a good name in the club and saving me thousands of dollars. Plus I feel sorry for her because she's nuts and has no real friends at all. I honestly believe she doesn't know any better. I believe she has some personality disorder that she can't help. I felt so bad for her, and I cared about her. I cared for her well being because I believe she can't help it I even try to help her realize what she's doing but she's so delusional and thinks she's awesome.

    When I was in between cars, she happily took me to and from work, ran my errands etc- because she needed the money and tries to over welcome her stay. She would come over to my place early so she can eat all my food. She REFUSE that I take a cab- even if I was done with with work HOURS after she was done- she would sit in the locker room and wait for me...for HOURS. She would even sometimes follow me around the club, even when I'm working on a guy, she would be right next to me playing with her phone or something.

    Even though she always gave it back the same night, she never had money for her house fee and I always pay it. I paid for a lot of her things. She is a leech. I understand people go through hard times but she was doing nothing about it. She would take off work just because she got her period or something stupid. She would be late for her phone bill but she would buy drugs instead. She would have no food but buy a $400 pair of shoes. One time, she put $2 of gas in her tank so she can go to yoga class. Yes, she really did.

    The final straw was when one of my expensive dresses went missing, I asked her about it and she swore on her life I said she can borrow it, which was untrue. I went NUTS on the girl, I've had enough. She was gonna leave the dress in a temporary locker at work. They cut temporary lockers after a certain amount of time and dispose the items inside, I demanded that she come over and give it to me- this is when I did not have a car so I could not get it fast enough- she said no and if they threw the dress out, its my problem not hers. I called her room mate at the time- who was way more rational than her to talk some sense into her. The room mate ended up giving it back to me. I then stooped to her level and called the guy she was dating(leeching) at the time and told him she had some other guy give her money for her fake abortion while they were dating and forward him the text she sent to me about it.

    So ever since she's been out of my site, my life has been wonderful. I took cabs to and from work and the peace was worth every dime, saved up and bought a 2012 Chevy, everything was going great....

    Then I run into her at work. She tells me she misses me and she is not mad about the fake abortion thing. I'm like, OK- whatever, I do not hate her and since I will run into her at work, made peace with her. I can really tell she misses me. Yeah, I'm sure she will start depending on me again financially but I can really tell she misses me. We use to share rooms and despite all the bullshit, we had movie nights weekly, talk for hours etc- kinda like sisters. But I want nothing to do with her.

    She started texting and calling me again, trying to initiate friendly conversations- telling me how her day went without me even asking etc...started to see her at work more and more, always grabs the spot next to me in the dressing room....

    How do I tell her without being mean to her that I don't want anything to do with her and stay away from me at work? Keep in mind that she is irrational, so I have to be careful how I handle this..

    Sorry for the long post, but GOD it felt soooo good to FINALLY vent about this.
    Last edited by JoJoX; 05-13-2012 at 06:10 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Toxic Person in my life

    This is hard because on some level toxic people like that KNOW they are fucked up so the insinuate themselves into your life and try to become essential and you being a normal emotive person will develop feelings of concern for them.
    I have had 2 past friends in the sex industry and both were like this in different ways,unfortunately the industry lends itself to craziness in a way no other line of work would... Best to stay kinda of vague and friendly unless she really backs you into something and you have to say,you know what? I am just not comfortable with that right now. She is likely very intelligent (emotionally at least) and after awhile of not getting what she wants from you she will look for an easier victim. Good Luck

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  4. #3
    Veteran Member missykrissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toxic Person in my life

    JoJo,
    Your post is funny, I felt bad laughing. I can see how you got sucked in, but the truth is everything she did for you (like giving you a ride) was stuff you were gonna take care of on your own.
    Really I would just not answer her texts or calls. I wouldn't get into a conversation w/ her about things, I don't think she'll see the light.

    eta: I didn't mean laughing at you, I just meant all the stuff like putting $2 in gas in her car to go to yoga class, that's like one of those truth is stranger than fiction things
    Last edited by missykrissy; 05-22-2012 at 12:22 AM.

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  6. #4
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toxic Person in my life

    Well, you said it, she's toxic. Dump the toxic bitch. I dragged one around for three years and the parasitic behaviour never stops and just becomes more draining over time as you invest more and more in the relationship. Quit now while you still have your sanity.

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toxic Person in my life

    thanks guys, youre right

  9. #6
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toxic Person in my life

    Quote Originally Posted by missykrissy View Post
    JoJo,
    .... I just meant all the stuff like putting $2 in gas in her car to go to yoga class, that's like one of those truth is stranger than fiction things
    LOL IKR!
    she has done a lot of stranger than fiction type stuff, she is just crazy.

    i just feel so bad for her.

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Toxic Person in my life

    deleted
    Last edited by Kisca; 11-18-2012 at 08:13 AM.

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