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Thread: Stripper Fails

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    Veteran Member Cammi's Avatar
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    Default Stripper Fails

    I had the best worst stripper moment ever tonight. I’m halfway through my new and improved stage show and I slide my dress down my legs so I can step out of it. But when I try to wiggle out of it I realise my dress ain’t going anywhere. I look down and the sequins are caught in my fishnets. Here’s what went through my brain:
    “Huh. Ok, no worries, I’ll just sort this out and get back into it.”
    “…This isn’t working.”
    “Fine, my dress is stuck in my stockings, no biggy. I love a challenge, I’m just gonna keep going and make this work.”
    “Yeah, there’s no way I dance properly like this.”
    “Maybe if I sit down I can fix this?”
    “Nope.”
    “Welp, guess I’m just gonna stand here and wiggle my butt till the song ends.”
    It was fucking hilarious. At the end the DJ gave his standard “another fantastic dance” spiel and I was like “shut up, that suuuuuuuuuucked”. So ladies, anyone else got an embarrassing stripper moment to share? It can't be just me who's a total dork, right?



  2. #2
    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Hysterical! Lol!

    My best stripper fail moment was when I was on stage & pulled my breakaway panties off all awesome & shit only to get the hook piece tangled in my dreads and not be able to untangle it. I wound up having to finish my set w/ a cream colored thong hanging from my head before running off at the end to be able to cut it out. Super sexy, right?!
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
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  3. #3
    Veteran Member neliana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    I bent down to pull my skirt off and got my nipple piercings caught on the thigh-high fishnets I was wearing. I then tried to stand up (I didn't realize my piercings were caught!) and pulled my nipple rings so hard they almost ripped off! I was bleeding and I had to stand there awkwardly bent over and trying to untangle the nipple rings from my fishnets for the whole rest of my 2 song set. My poor nipples were bleeding the rest of the night and hurt so bad! After about an hour, I thought they were healed and went to do a lap dance, and started bleeding again in the middle of the dance..awkward! Haha! It hurt like fuck and was embarrassing back then, but now it cracks me up! That's one of the big reasons I took those piercings out...

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    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    i think ive been lucky so far * touch wood*
    i had a lot of near misses of being really drunk on a violently spinning pole and almost peeled off coz i couldnt get grip in stockings, or get down. i somehow weirdly half peeled off then grabbed onto the pole again.

    whats embarassing is my constantly clicking knees! everytime im in a show and try to slide down all sexy theres this really loud CRACK that just ruins the moment everytime.

    fishnets and sequins are lethal. i spent a good 10 mins bent over untangling a sequined bikini from my thighs.

    i also constantly kick drinks in guys laps. mostly by accident.

    reading this im starting to realise im a clumsy drunk?
    FUCK YEAH finally retired after 6 years dancing!!
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Tonight I hit my head on the stage while leaning over into someone's chair that was pressed up against the stage. I just shouted "whateves I'm drunk!" and kept on going Luckily they were drunk too, laughed, and everyone moved on. I think dancer disasters are in everyone's career. I'm glad we can laugh about them now.

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    Veteran Member _natasha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Quote Originally Posted by neliana View Post
    I bent down to pull my skirt off and got my nipple piercings caught on the thigh-high fishnets I was wearing. I then tried to stand up (I didn't realize my piercings were caught!) and pulled my nipple rings so hard they almost ripped off! I was bleeding and I had to stand there awkwardly bent over and trying to untangle the nipple rings from my fishnets for the whole rest of my 2 song set. My poor nipples were bleeding the rest of the night and hurt so bad! After about an hour, I thought they were healed and went to do a lap dance, and started bleeding again in the middle of the dance..awkward! Haha! It hurt like fuck and was embarrassing back then, but now it cracks me up! That's one of the big reasons I took those piercings out...

    I have SO done this!!! OUCH!

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    Veteran Member aperfectseal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    EEEK! Fishnets+Jewelry = trouble! One of my very first lapdances ever I was wearing a ring that got stuck to my fishnets and I panicked cause I was freaked out that things weren't going perfectly and so I just awkwardly ripped my fishnets in the middle of the dance lol

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    Senior Member Dorien's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    This happened in one day a little over a week ago: I was spinning on the stage (not on pole) and I spin into the pole to grab it and I MISS IT!! I ended up falling flat on my back instead. This is a topless bar that has a 6 ft rule on stage. When I fell, my boobs were on the illegal part of the stage.

    Later that day, I was doing a sideways knee hold. Even though I had wiped the pole, it was greasy. I slid off, still in sideways knee hold position and really hurt my forearm. I got a bruise and a ping pong ball size bump.
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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    It didn't happen at work, but in a regular nightclub. After demonstrating some tres cool pole tricks at my place with some girlfriends, we went out and the bar we went to had a pole...my drunk ass hops on it only to realise muuuuuch too late that it's a spinning pole and gets flung off the stage and accross the dancefloor!

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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    I went to do a pole trick once and my shoe flew over the stage onto the floor. A customer had to get up and throw it back for me..

    Also once when I was on stage taking my bottoms off they somehow got caught on my shoe and catapulted straight into a guy's face.

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    Veteran Member Cammi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Quote Originally Posted by kleptomaniac View Post
    Also once when I was on stage taking my bottoms off they somehow got caught on my shoe and catapulted straight into a guy's face.
    Beautiful.



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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    I was on stage and a guy came up to tip me, and as I'm doing my little shimmy for him we are belly to belly for a second and my fishnet top gets caught on one of his buttons on his shirt!!! We both fumbled awkwardly and possibly drunkenly to free ourselves. It seemed like hours and finally I just yanked away, sending his button flying across the stage. I imagined him later getting home or the next day doing his laundry, sober and muttering under his breath "Stupid stripper."

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    Veteran Member Su Su's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Tripping over on stage is a killer for me.

    Not actually tripping over, but the few seconds of heart attack when you're in between falling over and gaining balance.
    People lol, and I lol pretending that I'm all cool with it but in fact I'm dying inside!!

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Oooh, this is gonna be fun! Let's see....

    I have gotten stuck in gowns and corsets on stage.

    I've failed at countless pole tricks.

    I attempted to do a headstand in a bachelor's lap during a burn, but my core muscles failed me and I just kinda toppled over. Then the dancer next to me did it flawlessly.

    Just the other night, i queefed about an inch away from someone's face. And I heard it, so I know he did too.

    I can't even begin to describe my drunken antics.

    One of the bouncers made me laugh so hard, I peed myself.

    The whole time period of not knowing how to booty pop.

    My favorite: I knocked over a drink with my ass. Just to be nice, I bought him a replacement drink....and knocked that one over too.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Veteran Member neliana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Just remembered another fail lol, I was doing a bachelor party and sliding down the pole (guy had a pole in his house..pretty random). The plan was for me to slide down the pole and right on to the bachelor's lap since he was sitting up against the pole, while my friend shook her ass on the side of him.

    I slid down wrong and landed awkwardly in the side of the chair, and fell off, right on to my friend. Kinda hard to explain now that I'm trying to type it out lol, but it was super embarrassing. The guys were all laughing hysterically! Another time I got so drunk at a bachelor party I passed out on the bathroom floor and my wig fell off. Yeah I don't do parties anymore...Lol. I seem to have better self control camming or at a club!

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    Featured Member smeca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Shoe FLYING off during a pole spin narrowly missing a guy's face.
    Headbutting another dancer while suddenly flicking back my head in a dance (didn't get her head but i had a bump)
    Smashing glass of champagne as soon as I got it
    Having to run to dressing room without knickers cos I threw them on the floor and they caught on the boy's shoe when he left the dance, and I berated him for stealing them cos a girl had hers taken by a perv recently!
    Realising I am wearing my THONG inside out AND back to front... I was thinking, I'm showing a lot of side-fanny??

    Most of how people take it is how you act about it. I've never really been embarrassed or had people be mean about it cos I laugh and don't really give a s. A girl I worked with seemed to attract negative comments when she had any moments, I think because she thought it was such a big thing.

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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Recently I changed clubs (from a wannabe strip club previously was just a bar) to a known strip club closer to home. I forgot my shoes at my old club and didn't realize until I got to my new club for my first night getting ready to change.
    They have a boutique and was forced to buy new shoes... eh ok - but they didn't have short thicker heels like I'm used to (pleaser, 6 inch, thicker heel). I also am used to walking on tiled floors through the club. Also was griding lap dances on couches only.

    New club: there is all carpet (except stage), new shoes (pleaser with padded in the shoes, 7 inches, true stilettos). Dances are in normal strip club rounded arm chairs, and only air dances....

    Also different dress code (but I wore a nice outfit I've danced in before)

    BUT my most awesome part of the night was I crashed and burned walking in front of the bar - and skinned my knee. Was a slow night but everyone saw. I played it off as the family guy peter griffin joke of when he feel and hurt his knee. I gained some great points for that....

    Thankfully I got MY shoes back... but my knee still is screwed up - and this was a week ago. ACK! hahahahaha

    best moment ever. Regulars are still asking how my knee is.

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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Oh one that's even closer to recent.

    3 days ago I fell down the stairs (in my better shoes) but that was the back stairs and caught myself before I reached an area that customers could see.

    Then 2 days ago there was like to many girls and a crap ton of horrible guys (ex. Show my your best hand job on this bottle... -_-. To the girls that have implants "you're boobs aren't big enough", when she has size F! ... etc). So many of us were upstairs venting it out to each other and the floor guy came up and me and Megan busted ass out of there (we have stairs we walk down right next to the entrance door to get from the dressing room to the floor)... and I was 2 steps away from being safe and my ankle gave out. Whatever - but I fell graceful. And stop up like right away. At least 5 people saw. They were proud at how fast I stood up. But it was awesome... again. haha

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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    I literally knocked somebody out unconcious once when I fell off the pole mid-trick[totally mortal kombat KO backflip style too--I mean, it was an accident but the guys sitting on the other side were hollering and clapping saying 'that was awesome!!' because it looked so cool, then we all realized that there was a girl on the floor =( ]. I'm talking, the ambulance-was-called-immidiately-because-she-was-absolutely-unresponsive(but still breathing, thank god!) unconscious. Half of her entire face was black. Not blue, not some shade of grey or pinkish--black. People at that club *still* talk about that day, lol. I felt so bad x.X

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    Veteran Member girlundressed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    One of the first clubs I ever worked at there were some real asshole custies. I was running onto my stage after having missed half of the first song getting out of VIP. The girl before me was a bit of a druggie and some jerk had thrown change at her on her stage. I run past her on the stage in 8" heels only to land one of my heels on a quarter and fall, feet flying over my head, flat on my back on stage. I took like half a second to process that it really hurt my tail bone before whipping out my tits. Crowd stares at tits and tips me, whole thing is forgotten.

    I also worked at a club with super steep thin stairs with a comically short railing for a tall girl in stripper heels. They were right off of the second stage too so just when you were exhausted after a 7 hour shift and multiple songs in a row you had to face them. I feel down those damn things like half a dozen times, I'm still shocked I never broke an ankle.

    I used to do a bunch of tricks on a swing too. Once I leaned to far on my one of the tricks and flipped over the swing and smacked my head on the stage in front of a full club. All of my regulars freaked out and one ran up to the stage to see if I was okay. I was just like, "fuck this, I'm going to go sit in the dressing room now" and walked off stage. Luckily manager was fine with it, I think he just wanted to make sure I wouldn't sue.
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Quote Originally Posted by MyButter View Post
    I literally knocked somebody out unconcious once when I fell off the pole mid-trick[totally mortal kombat KO backflip style too--I mean, it was an accident but the guys sitting on the other side were hollering and clapping saying 'that was awesome!!' because it looked so cool, then we all realized that there was a girl on the floor =( ]. I'm talking, the ambulance-was-called-immidiately-because-she-was-absolutely-unresponsive(but still breathing, thank god!) unconscious. Half of her entire face was black. Not blue, not some shade of grey or pinkish--black. People at that club *still* talk about that day, lol. I felt so bad x.X
    Oh my god I would have loved to see that - because it sounds so horrible AND awesome! I haven't had any real bad things happen yet. My first day though, the whole day went ridiculously smooth and during our last 'house dance' (or cattle call if you will) I walked, literally WALKED around the pole and somehow tripped and sprained my ankle. N00b. I just started laughing but I couldn't work the next day because I couldn't walk :/
    Other then the occasional thong stuck on shoestraps nothing bad. Now I'm gonna get ready to go to work and hope I didn't jinx myself writing that!

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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Oh I've had a few Fails...lol

    * I was talking to these guys while I was onstage and one of them said something funny so I threw my head back and laughed and came down with my forehead right onto the mouth of his beer bottle. I lifted my head up only to have the bottle stuck in my head for a second before it unstuck from my forehead and spilled all over the guy. To make matters worse, I asked HIM if HE was alright and he looks at me all confused and says "Are YOU alright?!" I tried to play it off and was like "Yeah, why??" He then told me I had blood running down my face. So I take my hand and rub it all down my face and see it's covered in blood. I got up and ran off stage. I look in the mirror and I looked like fucking Carrie. My whole face was covered in blood! I still have a crescent shaped scar above my eyebrow

    * Toilet paper stuck to my vagina and a guy thought it was a piercing.

    * I took my breakaway thongs off and tried to be sexy by pulling them off and sliding them up my stomach only to have a huge glob of discharge smeared all over my stomach. Yuck!

    * I've fallen on my ass on the floor many times..

    * Didn't happen to me but there was this girl years ago that came in and she got wasted and climbed to the top of the pole on a side stage that is like 6 feet above the ground floor. She was at the top and just fell, hit the platform and then fell on to the table below. It was fucking nuts!! The floor guys ran over to try and help her and she's swearing at them telling them to get the fuck away from her. She got right back up, got dressed and left.

  25. #23
    Veteran Member kinkydirtybitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Girls thank you SO much for sharing! It's truly awesome to know that whatever you have done, someone else has done it and more too!

    I was so nervous for a pole dancing competition I got so shit faced I couldn't even stand up without leaning on something/someone.

    During the blur of a show I was upsiide down on the pole with the ground hurtling towards me quicker than my alcohol soaked reactions could respond & smashed my chin off the hard marble floor, not noticing that I had lacerated my chin really quite badly & was bleeding.

    I wondered why I was getting odd looks as I stumbled around then one guy asked me if I'd been eating chocolate & pointed to the congealed blood dribbling down my chest.

    Attractive!

    PS: I don't drink anymore....

  26. #24
    Veteran Member Warped's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    I was tipping another dancer while she was on stage and before she saw me she went into a spin. I got full on kicked in the face with a 6 inch heel. Spent the next hour in the dressing room with ice. I had a black eye for a week and everyone kept asking me who hit me :/

  27. #25
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Fails

    Being put on a temporary drinking ban after three glasses of wine because you dont usually drink and therefore "got a bit lairy and excitable.

    Buttheading (yep, not headbutting, my butt, his head) a customer during a lap dance cause he moved forward as i did a move, cracked his bead with my arse, his head flew back and he nutted the back of the dance booth fairly hard. (I saw it as just deserts for trying to lick/sniff/whatever my bum...)

    Losing balance on the pole and slipping off my shoe and going "oof" cause i winded myself as i fell.

    Going back to the drinking in work episode...crying (and i mean *Crying* on the floor because the boy i like/see was being a dick and upset me lol) Not being allowed to go on the pole "for my own safety" ...then "not being allowed to do upside down tricks" by management.
    ''I love fake boobs''
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