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Thread: Dating the DJ

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    Default Dating the DJ

    Hi! I've been dancing for a month and loving it. Everyone who works at my club is pretty nice. There is this DJ who I work with maybe once or twice a week and I have the biggest crush on him, & he may feel similarly because he invited me for a drink. If we hung out more or hooked up, would other dancers have a problem with it, in your opinion? I'm mature and wouldn't bring drama, but I'm not sure if this sort of thing could cause problems (since I'm new to stripping and all). Thanks!

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    Moderator Miss_McKenna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    I dated the DJ and it didn't bring around any drama, except for a few bitchy dancers who told custies on purpose that I was dating him. I just dealt with that by laughing and being like "omg no way, those girls will say anything!! That dj hits on everyone lol!". But listening to him whine about hating his job, and never getting tipped enough, and girls never showing up for stage etc got old REALLY quick. It was like all the bad parts of the job came with us OTC, without any good parts. Like, we'd be having dinner during the week and I'd tune out while he spent literally hours being like "...and then Sparkle only gave me $9 and I know she was in the VIP for 3hrs, and then Sarah owed me $16 from last week but then she left without paying me and then I didn't know so I was calling her for stage and she never showed and then I asked Baby to go up instead, and she wouldn't, and that's so unfair to me, because...." OMG it was like a broken fucking record, and the worst part was that he was mid-forties and projecting his life's failures on everyone else instead lol. He was making shit money while all us young girls made bank right in front of him, and it became a HUGE issue between us.

    Sorry, kinda went on a tangent there, but yeah... if you do date him, keep it professional at work, and don't bring work into outside life at all!!!
    Last edited by Miss_McKenna; 05-30-2012 at 09:30 PM.


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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    One of our dancers actually married our DJ. They are actually a great couple and I bet it is fun to complain to each other about what happens at work.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Noooooooo don't do it! I have yet to meet a man who worked at the club that wasn't trying to sleep with any of the dancers who would have him. They especially love to prey on the newbies. They're predators. I'm saying this even knowing that I love some of the guys I work with, have a great time goofing off with them, etc...but I also hear them talk among themselves regarding the dancers that *do* go out with the staff. It's not pretty.

    Seriously, give it a very, very long time. If you're still crushing on him in six months (and I'll be shocked if this is the case), maybe go get a drink together. But I guarantee you that once you get to know the ropes at your club, you'll keep your distance.

    edit: And yes, it will probably bring drama. If you date and it doesn't work out, will you still want to work with him? You could lose out on good shifts if it ends badly. What about if/when he hooks up with another dancer and you have to watch them flirt, etc?

    Even if it works out for the two of you, the other dancers will accuse you of getting special privileges. Sorry if I sound cynical, I've just seen it happen. And happen. And happen...

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Oh good god, please don't do this. It NEVER works. NEVER. This is such a horrible mistake to make. DO NOT shit where you eat. Especially as a newbie. Go to work make your money and go home and DO NOT let the two mix.
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    I think the most problematic is dealing with him if you guys break up.
    It'll be awkward, uncomfortable, and you constantly need to talk to him about being on stage etc when you just wanna shoot him etc.

    I'd hate that. But yes, what JayaTee said... don't shit where you eat!
    That's my motto at work.
    Last edited by Su Su; 05-21-2012 at 05:42 AM.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Might want to check your contract. One of mine stated that stripper/club employee relationships were grounds for termination. It also had a bit in there about how if your boyfriend showed up, you were fired. Besides, 99% of the time, guys are way better before you date them. It's that "what if" flirty stage. It's fun, but it's probably not worthwhile as anything else. Don't fuck up your money and at-work mentality for a crush.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    Oh good god, please don't do this. It NEVER works. NEVER. This is such a horrible mistake to make. DO NOT shit where you eat. Especially as a newbie. Go to work make your money and go home and DO NOT let the two mix.
    Amen..

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    I once dated a DJ I worked at and it was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. How could it be? turns out he was a con artist who was working at clubs to try to get dancers to date him, then he was trying to pimp them out. I stupidly moved in with him and when I wouldn't trick (I was working at the same club and doing parties)he kicked me out. He stole from me and drained my checking account too. It caused a lot of drama too with other dancers. Many liked him because they didn't know his true intentions (he could be a charmer)or others felt while we were dating he favored me. I ended up leaving the club once we broke up because the stories about me were not worth the money.

    Trust me when I say most of the guys at clubs are there for the girls. Yes there are many who treat it as a job, but generally speaking they aren't the ones asking out the dancers. Interestingly I also dated a bouncer at another club and that wasn't dramatic and when we broke up we stayed as friends (and he's a good guy).

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Thank you, everyone! All of your advice was very helpful and I decided to listen and not let things go any further with him. I'd rather deal with him professionally and be friendly to him still of course, but I don't want to screw things up at work, especially since I'm brand spankin' new and not even successful with it yet! I can't afford to get distracted! :-)

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    ^Good for you.

    DJ's that hit on new girls are the type of guy who literally tries to fuck every new girl who walks in the door.
    Not only that... but it's typically just SO MUCH DRAMA it's mind blowing.
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Ahhh that's crazy, I can't believe I was acting so totally niave about this! For all I know, he could be flirting with everyone. I just have to remember that the strip club world isn't the "real world" I suppose.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    I've dated three DJ's and married one of them (getting divorced now). The potential for problems is way too much. I wouldn't do it. If you feel like there is something there worth exploring, one of you go to another club. Working together with someone you date, no matter what the job usually nev er works out.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    My main club has a few couples and I'm dating an ex-security guard and at this particular establishment we're more mature than some places and have less drama so we don't care if people are dating but Dj's flirt with everyone who's not a bitch to them. It's fun and I have nothing against it but I wouldn't take it seriously. If you want to have a good time go for it and wrap it up but we all know how to play the game and I wouldn't expect to have a long term relationship with him.

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Speaking of dating the bouncer...

    At my club a girl was dating one of the bouncers, then behind his back she started sleeping with the manager. It was such a shame because the bouncer was such a nice guy, and everyone knew about it but him - he'd be working the door and she'd be fucking the manager in his office. Then he found out so they broke up and she continued to date the manager openly. Then, behind the managers back, she started sleeping with a different bouncer! When that all came out, the manager dumped her, and she moved in with that bouncer a few weeks later. Talk about no shame in your game *shakes head*


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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Always remember that while men who work in strip clubs can be professional, if you *a hot girl* offer him *a man* he will most likely take it. As a newbie, be very careful about dating anyone else involved in the industry. While it can make life easier when the going is good, if it turns sour, it can be horrific having to work together and remain civil. Strip clubs are a hot bed of gossip and rumour, its almost impossible for it not to be, so maintaining a good relationship can be hard if you even get that far. Give it six months, wait till youve got to know what you are doing, what he is like from his actions/know more of his history, and then see if you still want to date him.
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    when has this ever not gone wrong for new dancers?

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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    Ahh! I haven't even read all these posts but I have a rule against dating the dj's. When I was new to dancing I used to mess with them and they hook up with all the girls. I know cuz he would talk about all the other girls all the time and the crazy sex they were having.. My stripper friends and I would all deny it to eachother's faces but we all knew what was up. I never dated that guy though. It was all in fun, but I decided early on that if I wanted to stay disease free that the dj's were not for me!!!

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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating the DJ

    No. Just No. At least not if you want to continue working there in a drama-free manner. You might not bring the drama but trust me, someone will. If you choose to do this EVER, at any point in time, make sure you have back-up option for somewhere else to work, but even then, this industry is small and shit gets around. You've been warned.

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