Results 1 to 23 of 23

Thread: How to get your SO on board?

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    May 2012
    Posts
    24
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default How to get your SO on board?

    I have lived with my SO for almost 2 years. I just recently started taking pole classes, and I really want to become a dancer. We both work full time and will be going back to school this fall. I know I can't handle full time work and school, especially since I work at 6 am, and my classes don't end until 10pm on some days with the schedule I have to have. I want to get him on board with me dancing so that we can both work part time and have more time for school and each other. He gets jealous very easily is the problem. Please help!

  2. #2
    Banned
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    in the middle of a cornfield
    Posts
    5,119
    Thanks
    2,693
    Thanked 2,988 Times in 1,098 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    I will be blunt and tell you right now that if you're with him, you're not going to be able to be a dancer. If he has jealousy issues now he's def not going to be cool with you grinding on another guy's hard dick while the customer may be able to touch you. (Depending on the club) Have you thought about cocktailing at a club? Or doing body shots? Maybe if you ease into the industry, he may be able to handle it better.

  3. #3
    Member
    Joined
    May 2012
    Posts
    24
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    In my area you do air dances and wear latex over the nipples though. I'm hoping this wwill help

  4. #4
    Banned
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    in the middle of a cornfield
    Posts
    5,119
    Thanks
    2,693
    Thanked 2,988 Times in 1,098 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Have you talked to him about it yet? If he says he's not cool with it now, he won't be cool with it later. Trust me. I have danced for almost 10 years and have been on this board for 6. I have seen this topic at least once a week, every week and the ending result is always the same. In the end you will either have to choose him or the job. Always take into consideration that you may not even make that much at a club where they do airdances and cover their nipples. Especially nowadays with all the extras going on :/ Check out the club together and let him get a feel for it. Buy him a dance. That way he can see for himself how things work.

  5. #5
    Senior Member playboymegan's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    146
    Thanks
    337
    Thanked 507 Times in 96 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    If you love him, nothing should be worth him feeling uncomfortable.
    www.twitter.com/meganmedellin
    megan-medellin.tumblr.com

  6. #6
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Bring home the $$$$$$$$$, They usually STFU after that
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


  8. #7
    Senior Member Marley13's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    87
    Thanks
    65
    Thanked 47 Times in 24 Posts
    My Mood
    Bashful

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    I eased into the industry. A year and a half ago I started cocktail waitressing and doing lapdances on the side for extra cash. He was okay with it because of the extra amount of $$$$ it brought in. I gave the industry a break and came back to dancing a week ago. I basically laid it out to my BF saying "This is what I want to do. This is the amount of potential income I can make. This is how it will benefit us......" I compromised with him and told him to give it a month or two. If he still wasnt liking it, I would stop.

    Im only a week in and he's loving the money. Like someone said before, greed will eventually win anyone over.
    Visit Eden Fantasys to get 15% off all sexy adult products on every order!


  9. #8
    Member
    Joined
    May 2012
    Posts
    24
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by Marley13 View Post
    I eased into the industry. A year and a half ago I started cocktail waitressing and doing lapdances on the side for extra cash. He was okay with it because of the extra amount of $$$$ it brought in. I gave the industry a break and came back to dancing a week ago. I basically laid it out to my BF saying "This is what I want to do. This is the amount of potential income I can make. This is how it will benefit us......" I compromised with him and told him to give it a month or two. If he still wasnt liking it, I would stop.

    Im only a week in and he's loving the money. Like someone said before, greed will eventually win anyone over.
    Thank you! This was very helpful!

  10. #9
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Wales, UK
    Posts
    876
    Thanks
    180
    Thanked 453 Times in 206 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Be aware that boyfriends who don't handle the idea of dancing well often want something from you in return for "allowing"" you to dance. At least, that has been my experience, first it was presents, then expensive presents, then it was paying for everything, then it was i want a percentage of what i made..."beacuse you can afford it...slut" ...Depends on the boyfriend, but ones with jealousy issues never work well with a dancer, they dont make you feel good about your job, which in turn, will make you feel like you are doing something wrong, it quickly goes sour. Jealousy stems from insecurity, so you need to address his issues if you want to dance and be happy in your relationship.
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to GlitterBexie For This Useful Post:


  12. #10
    Senior Member jgolden83's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    118
    Thanks
    264
    Thanked 66 Times in 20 Posts
    My Mood
    Bored

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterBexie View Post
    Be aware that boyfriends who don't handle the idea of dancing well often want something from you in return for "allowing"" you to dance. At least, that has been my experience, first it was presents, then expensive presents, then it was paying for everything, then it was i want a percentage of what i made..."beacuse you can afford it...slut" ...Depends on the boyfriend, but ones with jealousy issues never work well with a dancer, they dont make you feel good about your job, which in turn, will make you feel like you are doing something wrong, it quickly goes sour. Jealousy stems from insecurity, so you need to address his issues if you want to dance and be happy in your relationship.
    He wanted a PERCENTAGE of what you made?!?! O_o

    I hope you kicked his sorry ass to the curb!

  13. #11
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Wales, UK
    Posts
    876
    Thanks
    180
    Thanked 453 Times in 206 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by jgolden83 View Post
    He wanted a PERCENTAGE of what you made?!?! O_o

    I hope you kicked his sorry ass to the curb!

    lol yep, he was a complete joke of a man, expected me to cough up 50% of my nightly earnings at the end of every shift! I am most definitely better out of that relationship haha,
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to GlitterBexie For This Useful Post:


  15. #12
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,427
    Thanks
    19,841
    Thanked 18,503 Times in 4,918 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    I'm gonna have to agree with Kaia. If he's not cool with it from the get-go, he won't be cool with it later. Even if the extra income makes him happy for awhile, if he has severe jealousy issues, those will win out in the end. He'll either tell you to quit, or, like GlitterBexie said, he'll want something out of you. He will most assuredly throw being a stripper in your face every time you have an argument. I don't think air dances and pasties will help anything. You're still getting mostly naked for, and flirting with, other men. If he wouldn't be cool with you stripping down to pasties and a g-string and dancing around for his best friend, he won't be cool with you doing it for god knows how many strangers a night. In a jealous guy's mind, there is no difference. And for all you know, he's already the kind of guy who assumes that no stripper goes back to VIP unless she's having sex. You really can't truly change the mind of a guy who looks down on sex workers.

    It would be a beautiful world if logic could change everybody's hearts and make even the most jealous of men understand that dancing is just a job so they have nothing to be upset about... but that's just not the case. A jealous person and a stripper do not make a good couple. You need to decide what's more important to you - flexibility and money or your guy. He feels how he feels and you knew that about him when you signed up for this relationship. I'm all for avoiding jealous guys in the first place, but if you've already accepted him, it's unfair to try to change him now. You'll only frustrate yourself with wondering why you can't change his lifetime of jealous habits.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  16. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  17. #13
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Is he willing to pay your bills and support you? If not then I'd take a hard look at your relationship.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


  19. #14
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    In your nightmares...
    Posts
    4,861
    Thanks
    1,334
    Thanked 2,291 Times in 1,133 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    How to get him on board? Honestly, this question is asked a million fucking times on this site. TBH, the answer is, you don't. Either he's ok with it, or he's not. I don't think there is anything you can do to ever make it ok with him if he falls into the latter category. He may "let" you do it, but that doesn't mean he's ever going to be alright with it. Some guys just are, and some guys never are. If that's the case, and you're seriously serious about doing this, it's time to assess the relationship. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but IMO, those are just the facts. Your question should honestly be, am I willing to let this man dictate what I am and am not allowed to do in my life AND should he be allowed to have such power over me?

    A side note: You do realize that pole dancing is a miniscule part of this job, right? If you decide your relationship is not worth it, and you want to dance, what happens when/if you then find out dancing isn't at all what you expected and not what you want to do? Will you still be alright with what it's done to your relationship?
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  20. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to JayATee For This Useful Post:


  21. #15
    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Posts
    675
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked 447 Times in 229 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Taking a pole dance class and thinking oh I would like to dance I can handle it is kinda illogical. Pole classes can't compare to the reality of hustling for five hours trying to get dances and maintain your boundaries. Just something to think about so that you don't lose your relationship for nothing, if you can't hack it as a dancer.

    Also if a man is dead set against you dancing and then changes his tune when you are bringing home money ... he is a douche leave him.

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to Kat w For This Useful Post:


  23. #16
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    When I got with mine he had never even had a lapdance in his life. The way I eased him into it was bringing home $700 and another stripper we had a 3some with. ever since then no objections, ever. (minus the occasional complaints of 'stripper drama')
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  24. #17
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Wales, UK
    Posts
    876
    Thanks
    180
    Thanked 453 Times in 206 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Just as a side note, i left my ex 3 months ago and he is still telling everyone he knows that i "chose being a stripper whore over him and his love" LOL I didnt leave to be a stripper, i left him cause he was a controlling arsehole, but the only way he can get back at me is to try and make me sound evil, to all those who knew the both of us when we were together i have not yet had someone say they are sorry i left him and that he was a good person lol.
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

  25. #18
    Member melany's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    50
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 23 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterBexie View Post
    Be aware that boyfriends who don't handle the idea of dancing well often want something from you in return for "allowing"" you to dance. At least, that has been my experience, first it was presents, then expensive presents, then it was paying for everything, then it was i want a percentage of what i made..."beacuse you can afford it...slut" ...Depends on the boyfriend, but ones with jealousy issues never work well with a dancer, they dont make you feel good about your job, which in turn, will make you feel like you are doing something wrong, it quickly goes sour. Jealousy stems from insecurity, so you need to address his issues if you want to dance and be happy in your relationship.
    Sorry to say this but this more like a pimp not a boyfriend. being jealous can be sweet, but asking for a cut is not cool at all.

  26. The Following User Says Thank You to melany For This Useful Post:


  27. #19
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Wales, UK
    Posts
    876
    Thanks
    180
    Thanked 453 Times in 206 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by melany View Post
    Sorry to say this but this more like a pimp not a boyfriend. being jealous can be sweet, but asking for a cut is not cool at all.
    you're telling me honestly, he was a controlling abusive nightmare, the demanding money like it was normal at the end of every shift was child's play compared to what i let him put me through. But i know quite a few girls who have to give their partner "hush money" so they can work. Not good at all, scary in fact that so many girls allow themselves to be bullied like this.
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

  28. #20
    Member melany's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    50
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 23 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterBexie View Post
    you're telling me honestly, he was a controlling abusive nightmare, the demanding money like it was normal at the end of every shift was child's play compared to what i let him put me through.
    I am glad to see was in the post. Glad you got rid of the jerk.

  29. #21
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    3,244
    Thanks
    2,454
    Thanked 4,800 Times in 1,707 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Is he willing to pay your bills and support you? If not then I'd take a hard look at your relationship.
    This is exactly my view. Sorry I can't see bringing home grinding money to share with a man. If he's a man then he should be providing. If he can't do that well then he's a "friend" without the "boy" part attached.

    I will also say it's not something I feel he is wrong for not wanting. I mean most people don't want to share the most intimate parts with a person outside of the relationship. Now a male stripper is probably going to get girls giggling and laughing in a shy manner than a female stripper that's going to be asked for bj's and all other kinds of extras. So I would suggest to really think about is it really for the money if if so what does he actually provide currently.

    His jealousy will probably come from how you're able to make money in this manner by men that want you. Now think about the flip side if he had to have dinner with a successful woman that was paying his bills yet he said " no I don't sleep with her". Would you believe that? It's not so much that he fears you'll cheat but the right offer may be hard to refuse. Also these men are doing more for you than he can and how will that make him feel as a man?

    Some customers give gifts, will he be happy to see you come home with a bunch of roses when he hasn't bought you any in months? Or maybe a brand new purse that he couldn't afford to get you. That may tear away at his self esteem.

    Now some guys don't care and will say "cool, I don't have to do any shit for her because these men are" and "ooh she's bringing all this money home for me to spend". "She's buying me gifts to appease me" but really that "bf" really just becomes a "pimp".

  30. #22
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    3,244
    Thanks
    2,454
    Thanked 4,800 Times in 1,707 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Is he willing to pay your bills and support you? If not then I'd take a hard look at your relationship.
    This is exactly my view. Sorry I can't see bringing home grinding money to share with a man. If he's a man then he should be providing. If he can't do that well then he's a "friend" without the "boy" part attached.

    I will also say it's not something I feel he is wrong for not wanting. I mean most people don't want to share the most intimate parts with a person outside of the relationship. Now a male stripper is probably going to get girls giggling and laughing in a shy manner than a female stripper that's going to be asked for bj's and all other kinds of extras. So I would suggest to really think about is it really for the money if if so what does he actually provide currently.

    His jealousy will probably come from how you're able to make money in this manner by men that want you. Now think about the flip side if he had to have dinner with a successful woman that was paying his bills yet he said " no I don't sleep with her". Would you believe that? It's not so much that he fears you'll cheat but the right offer may be hard to
    refuse. Also these men are doing more for you than he can and how will that make him feel as a man?

    Some customers give gifts, will he be happy to see you come home with a bunch of roses when he hasn't bought you any in months? Or maybe a brand new purse that he couldn't afford to get you. That may tear away at his self esteem.

    Now some guys don't care and will say "cool, I don't have to do any shit for her because these men are" and "ooh she's bringing all this money home for me to spend". "She's buying me gifts to appease me" but that "bf" really just becomes a "pimp".

    Also after a night of being grabbed on by strangers and swatting hands away will you want to get home and have hot sex? Or will you need to be left alone? That can take it's toll on your self life with a partner. Or even coming home and talking about your "job". Will he be able to sit and listen to how some guy got kicked out because he tried to finger you?

    Some guys are nice in the club and then there are the other twisted sort.

  31. #23
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Wales, UK
    Posts
    876
    Thanks
    180
    Thanked 453 Times in 206 Posts

    Default Re: How to get your SO on board?

    My new boy said to me last night *serious face* "If i asked you to stop dancing, would you?..." i looked at him and went "NOPE!" and he replied *big smile*"GOOD, i wouldn't want you to quit for me! You're good at your job and i like that you have independence and can treat yourself, now lets go home and have a cwtch!" :-D What a complete turnaround from the ex! (*cwtch is the welsh word for snuggle!)
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

Similar Threads

  1. Using the Board
    By justifymylove in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-17-2007, 02:39 PM
  2. New to the board
    By marbles in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-17-2006, 12:31 PM
  3. Just saying hi, new to the board
    By Rockette in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-14-2006, 05:29 PM
  4. New to the board!
    By Julez in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-04-2006, 11:57 AM
  5. Hello To The Board. I Am New...
    By Callan in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-20-2006, 12:17 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •