Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member missplayful's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    489
    Thanks
    127
    Thanked 214 Times in 101 Posts
    My Mood
    Cold

    Default Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    Hi ladies, i just moved to another state PA state .My bf is about to attend school this AUGUST.He just got out of Army,we have been both applying for countless day jobs but no luck. I got 2 interviews however i did not hear anything after all.Before i got a day job and i had no problem about hiring procoess.Same for my bf too. It's been 3 weeks there are jobs posted on websites like, snaga-job,indeed, craiglist etc... I applied some places online and i received stupid answer at 3 am! which i am not qualified for job. Same thing happened my bf too. After couple min he received an e mail says he is not qualified.A lot of places did not even call a simple interview! Why getting job is so hard in this town? Is it town or r we both unlucky people?

    I danced last 1,5 year Wisconsin in NC and WI. I have made good money but could not save.I averaged 5 grand a month although i divorced my ex i needed that money for moving expenses, new furniture , rent , living also i sent money to home... I have a family overseas.I traveled to Europe , i shoped etc... Last month before i moved PA i saved 4300 $ after i paid my rent. My bf had some money from his paycheck too.Even though we saved money when we moved another place money s gone! The place we rented wanted to charge double security deposit due to our job status. It was 1600$, military did not pay for our moving expenses, we have to claim our expenses and we can get some money back.rent is 865$ , after u haul , gas etc... all money we had s gone almost...Only 600$ left ! My bf got some money from military , also qualified for unemployment every month 2280$.Also his GI bill will start after August 1480every month.... I do not know how r we gonna make a liiving this amount of money. He definatly does not want me to work at strip club. He seemed ok before now we moved another state , he keeps sayin he was ok for a while because he thought i was gonna do that job for only limited time. I always said yes i ll quit one day however i cant even find one simple day job! I realized this place suffers lack of employment! I cant buy a car or do saving with little paycheck i will make. I m having major depression due to quitted my well payin job... I averaged 5 grand now i am broke... I love my boyfriend i dont wanna break up but cant take it anymore. I feel like he retains me from life i wanna live. If he could not exist in my life i could have more money, i could send my family money, i could go more vacations whenever i want, taking day of from work would not be problem... I could save money but now its impossible. He tells me he will pay bills whatever i make from dayjob will be mine... I dont wanna work forever for such a small amount of money.Actually i cant even find this job...I wanna dance i m so depressed, i love dancing,i burnt out and ranted him little bit before. Now my feelings has changed i even see myself dancing in my dreams. I miss the money i have made.

    What should i do? I need a job , he doesnt want me to dancing.He SAID his friends doesnt respect me and emberrased. He wants to marry me in future and dont want me to be his kids mom who used to dance forever.He said he was ok for a while but not anymore. Yes i told him i wanna get out now i realized feelings has changed again.I dont wanna leave him however i do not wanna stop dancing...He wants me to go school.I wanna go school but i cant. I have many concerns. With such a small paycheck how the fuck am i going to pay my school ?I am foreigner price of school will be even more for me...I am so scared i would go school than cant even afford anything else. Also i do not know what degree i should go for anyways??? I want something i can make decent living in future.Thank God at least i can get financial aid because of my immegration status still it doesnt cover school expenses?
    Last edited by missplayful; 06-03-2012 at 11:26 AM.

  2. #2
    Member HarleyQ's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2012
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 19 Times in 13 Posts
    My Mood
    Crappy

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    He gets $2280 from unemployment ? and will be getting $1480 from the GI bill ? Thats not enough for the two of you ?

  3. #3
    Veteran Member missplayful's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    489
    Thanks
    127
    Thanked 214 Times in 101 Posts
    My Mood
    Cold

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by HarleyQ View Post
    He gets $2280 from unemployment ? and will be getting $1480 from the GI bill ? Thats not enough for the two of you ?
    Do u think is it enough???I m so confused an scared! Also i am not used to asking money from a man... Ugh i do not know how can i do it.. Also i guess unemployment last only 6 months? What r we gonna do after all? Our rent is 840$ i do not have any bills than GOD. We only will have house bills, food, his car bills.I dont wanna be bitch but having 4-5000$ every month all belongs to me was nice now i feel poor.

  4. #4
    Member HarleyQ's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2012
    Posts
    62
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 19 Times in 13 Posts
    My Mood
    Crappy

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    It's not what you're used to but it'll be enough till you get a job, unemployment lasts way longer than 6 months i think more than two years actually. The total income with neither of you working would be $3760, if your rent is only $840 thats great (lower than mine and i make nowhere near $3760 with my 9-5) then you consider $1500 for bills and food. You've got around $1400 left. Then it's time to budget.

  5. #5
    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    904
    Thanks
    1,484
    Thanked 1,166 Times in 427 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    I think since you know him better than any of us you probably have a better idea of how to convince him, but if it was me I'd try stressing the money factor and how much easier it will be for you both if you are dancing and making money.

    Quote Originally Posted by missplayful View Post
    I m having major depression due to quitted my well payin job... I averaged 5 grand now i am broke... I love my boyfriend i dont wanna break up but cant take it anymore. I feel like he retains me from life i wanna live. If he could not exist in my life i could have more money, i could send my family money, i could go more vacations whenever i want, taking day of from work would not be problem... I could save money but now its impossible. He tells me he will pay bills whatever i make from dayjob will be mine... I dont wanna work forever for such a small amount of money.Actually i cant even find this job...I wanna dance i m so depressed, i love dancing,i burnt out and ranted him little bit before. Now my feelings has changed i even see myself dancing in my dreams. I miss the money i have made.
    If you haven't already, maybe try talking to him about how important dancing is to you right now, the opportunities it gives you (to save, travel, send money to family), and how you are feeling depressed.

    Could you just tell him you are going to do it with or without his approval, or would that go over too badly?
    If you really feel like he is holding you back, you'll likely just end up resenting him for it later which could be really damaging to the relationship. If you love dancing and give it up to keep this guy you could very well end up "losing" him anyway due to the strain it will put on your relationship.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sierra. For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    904
    Thanks
    1,484
    Thanked 1,166 Times in 427 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    At the very least, he should be understanding enough to be okay with you dancing until you find another job. Expecting you to just quit before you have another source of income seems pretty uncool.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sierra. For This Useful Post:


  9. #7
    Veteran Member missplayful's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    489
    Thanks
    127
    Thanked 214 Times in 101 Posts
    My Mood
    Cold

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by HarleyQ View Post
    It's not what you're used to but it'll be enough till you get a job, unemployment lasts way longer than 6 months i think more than two years actually. The total income with neither of you working would be $3760, if your rent is only $840 thats great (lower than mine and i make nowhere near $3760 with my 9-5) then you consider $1500 for bills and food. You've got around $1400 left. Then it's time to budget.
    Also we dont have health insurance i m so afraid being able to sick ... i know cant even afford doctor anymore. idk how much insurance would cost. I need to search.
    Last edited by missplayful; 06-03-2012 at 12:04 PM.

  10. #8
    Veteran Member missplayful's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    489
    Thanks
    127
    Thanked 214 Times in 101 Posts
    My Mood
    Cold

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by sierra. View Post
    I think since you know him better than any of us you probably have a better idea of how to convince him, but if it was me I'd try stressing the money factor and how much easier it will be for you both if you are dancing and making money.



    If you haven't already, maybe try talking to him about how important dancing is to you right now, the opportunities it gives you (to save, travel, send money to family), and how you are feeling depressed.

    Could you just tell him you are going to do it with or without his approval, or would that go over too badly?
    If you really feel like he is holding you back, you'll likely just end up resenting him for it later which could be really damaging to the relationship. If you love dancing and give it up to keep this guy you could very well end up "losing" him anyway due to the strain it will put on your relationship.
    I m so mixed up with feelings. Before i moved in this place PA i really felt like i should quit this job. I was burnt out.Also i was so hopeful about gettin a job quickly. Somehow this town is cursed. It IS a college town very close to Penn state UNIVERSITY. i CANT BELIEVE we both can even get a one simple stupid part time job! He knows to opportunity's of my job.However the place i have danced was high contact they could touch anywhere except kitty. Some days i would come home in a bad mood because i was either late to dodge a man they who tried to stick their finger on me... or someone tried again those 1 second quick licks. I even remembered i smacked someone on face not porpusely ! It was reaction. So he doesnt care about money... he keeps sayin he wants a clean paycheck. I understand i agree, but it doesnt work that way. There is only one strip club in this town , he is so scared someone could find out that i am dancing also club is nude.... He is freaking out... I even told him at least its nude nobody is gonna touch me, club is very strict about rules. No touching anywhere just nude dances.... One day i feel like i will ge t a day job and willl be fine, next day i realized there is no mail on my e mail box or no calls on my phone the jobs i applied from... i feel dissaopinted and tired...another day i find myself arguing with my bf... every other day i talk with him anyways... it doesnt go anywhere. He is such a nice guy, helps me and loves me for everything.. But he doesnt want me to dancing anymore. He tried for 1 year with me... I guess he could not take it in deep.

    I told him i love dancing , he told me dance at home lol.. He tells me we can buy a pole to home, i told him wanna go overseas and see my family but i dont have job or money. He offered me to buy a ticket... He always come with somethin and tells me he is ok any job doesnt involve gettin my clothes off. dont know what to do...

  11. #9
    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    904
    Thanks
    1,484
    Thanked 1,166 Times in 427 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    I can definitely relate to the emotional toll of high contact dancing. I work in high contact places myself, and while I don't mind that kind of touching I know what you mean about being late to dodge a guy. It really can fuck with your head sometimes.

    What it sounds like to me is you are stressed about money and stressed about the change of going from dancing to a straight job. That seems pretty normal and understandable.
    You guys have the unemployment for now, maybe you won't be taking any vacations on it but it sounds like it will be enough to live off of. So keep looking for a job and try not to stress too much about the money. If a few months down the road things aren't looking any better you can always reevaluate and dancing will still be there as an option if you need it. Don't worry about your boyfriend for now, you can deal with that when the time comes. Just focus on finding another job. Things might be tight for a little bit until you get one but that's okay because it is only temporary.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


  12. The Following User Says Thank You to sierra. For This Useful Post:


  13. #10
    Veteran Member missplayful's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    489
    Thanks
    127
    Thanked 214 Times in 101 Posts
    My Mood
    Cold

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    Quote Originally Posted by sierra. View Post
    I can definitely relate to the emotional toll of high contact dancing. I work in high contact places myself, and while I don't mind that kind of touching I know what you mean about being late to dodge a guy. It really can fuck with your head sometimes.

    What it sounds like to me is you are stressed about money and stressed about the change of going from dancing to a straight job. That seems pretty normal and understandable.
    You guys have the unemployment for now, maybe you won't be taking any vacations on it but it sounds like it will be enough to live off of. So keep looking for a job and try not to stress too much about the money. If a few months down the road things aren't looking any better you can always reevaluate and dancing will still be there as an option if you need it. Don't worry about your boyfriend for now, you can deal with that when the time comes. Just focus on finding another job. Things might be tight for a little bit until you get one but that's okay because it is only temporary.
    Thank u so much. I consider camming i have chickened out. I dont wanna be recored it would be horrible for me! There is a chance they can record my shows and spray them internet.Also i cant really put pictures or videos on me on my webcam profile page.I see a lot of girls have nude or sexy pictures on their webcam profile.I cant do this i have to be very low profile. Also there are tons of pretty girl on cam websited i wonder if anyone would notice me at all without advertisin myself, no pictures or videos? I guess camming doesnt bring me any income...?

  14. #11
    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    904
    Thanks
    1,484
    Thanked 1,166 Times in 427 Posts

    Default Re: Boyfriend doesnt want me to dance?

    I looked into camming also about a year ago, but I chickened out also, mostly because of the being recorded factor. The way I understand it is if you're not OK with your shows being recorded then it probably isn't for you. And from the research I did it seemed like advertising and building a following was important to making money, which seems hard to do if you aren't going to be posting pictures or videos. And if you're worried about pictures and videos then it really doesn't seem like it would be for you, since you're going to be on webcam anyway.

    Although I know many sites let you block certain regions, so if you blocked your region I guess the chance of anyone finding you out would be lessened, but of course it could still happen and images of you will still make their way onto the internet.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


  15. The Following User Says Thank You to sierra. For This Useful Post:


  16. #12
    Veteran Member miamia4me's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Location
    PA, USA
    Posts
    292
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 269 Times in 108 Posts

    Default

    I sent you a message OP.

Similar Threads

  1. Wont get a dance from a girl that doesnt get naked
    By zeke in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 94
    Last Post: 08-18-2012, 09:35 PM
  2. boyfriend doesnt call back
    By yogibear179 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-08-2010, 07:49 PM
  3. boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!
    By meggie18xox in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 12-26-2008, 11:04 AM
  4. My boyfriend won't let me dance!
    By KinkySyd in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 09-05-2006, 06:10 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •