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Thread: BDSM. Switching your Role, fully.

  1. #1
    Veteran Member pink_bunny's Avatar
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    Default BDSM. Switching your Role, fully.

    Hey ladies.
    I guess this is a question to you all out there with an interest in BDSM. I have been in a relationship for a long time in which I have been a 100% submissive in every possible way. Now, I get genuinely turned ON by a relationship with a less attractive( even ugly) man or woman, when I feel totally in control with. For example, I feel like they literally worship me- kissing my feet, begging me for sex, attention, my time, etc. I like playing the game, occasionally inflicting pain, and then giving them a bit of attention. The irony is that Im not a bitter or angry person. Im happy and dont like to be tied down, literally. I want to be a great domme, in every aspect.

    Whether professionaly, or personally, have you enjoyed changing your roles?
    Are you flexible as a top or bottom? and Was it a natural switch for you? Did you ever feel like a fraud? or, was it liberating and maybe a release for pent up emotions? Please share you experiences.... THANKS! Peace and love

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    Veteran Member Warped's Avatar
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    Default Re: BDSM. Switching your Role, fully.

    I started as a sub but definitely embraced my current role as domme. Most of the best dommes started out as subs so they understand everything from a subs point of view. I do switch it up every now and then but more into bottoming then subbing

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    Default Re: BDSM. Switching your Role, fully.

    I started more as a bottom than submissive and I've never been very good at subbing. Usually it's a power play & I'm into the roughness of it more than the idea of submitting. Topping from the bottom is kinda what usually happens for me. I've been feeling similar, (especially hate being tied down literally & figuratively!) And I've been less and less able to play the submissive role and usually end up topping. Partly out of mischief and when they can't keep up with me. Definitely has to do with being more creative than my partner, and always feels like a game, in a fun way. But it is a nice release too.

    I've just started offering sensual domination to clients, and sometimes I get pangs of anxiety that I don't know what I'm doing. Or it's hard to cultivate a creative session with someone I actually dislike (which isn't often but money trumps personality in this instance). It feels natural in some moments, and then I start to think too much and get stuck in my head, second guessing my ability. I'm soft spoken and not very strong so sometimes I get self-conscious that I'm not aggressive/convincing enough. I think after a few months I'll start to feel like a "real" domme. There's so much to learn and so many angles to think about.
    If I'm doing a lot of domme sessions for work then I tend to want to be topped. As long as my partner knows exactly what to do...

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    Default

    Quick question: explain the difference between subbing and bottom? And Topping and Domme?

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    Default Re: BDSM. Switching your Role, fully.

    OP - May I point out , I have noticed little correlation between attractiveness and self esteem ! While it would make sense that an uglier guy/girl would worship the ground you walk on , and find you 'extra' attractive , I don't find this to be the case in life at all .... In fact often ugly guys are the first to nit pick any little flaw on a beautiful woman. In the same respect , often men with great bodies , carry a low self esteem .... Body builder in particular are well known for having low self esteem ----- ( obviously that's a generalization, but it makes a bit of sense that the guy shy guy got pumped to have something other than his personality to hide behind ) ..... Anyway , of course generalisations are just that , but what I am saying is , there is really small link between what people consider beautiful and how they look themself !! Believe me when I say , a conventionally ugly guy with a big ego , is no more likely to worship your beauty than a conventionally attractive guy with a small ego ....... While it would make sense for the trend to exist , it really doesn't , same for the other way round ------ How many truly ugly bitches do you know who walk around thinking they're the most beautiful thing to grace the planet...I can tell you , I know literally 100s.... and On the same level, I know many beautiful girls who consider themselves less than shit on the beauty dar - Beauty is of course in the eye of the beholder - it's an interpretation, a criticism even - and generally in life - beauty does not pair up ------- Most couples are not on the same level , in general, financially yes, professionally yes , but beauty ---- I don't believe so .
    I understand this wasn't your question , but I just wanted to add that in .

    As for switching - I am dominant by nature , and lead a lifestyle which relfects that - I can't switch , not even for a customer - I physically can't do it , I feel like I'm violating my sexuality - I would sooner dominate a woman ( I am straight ) , than submit to anyone - I know many girls who switch for work , I know many insta dommes/subs who play only a role on cam --- and while many lifestylers have a problem with it , I couldn't give a hoot .... In fact , Lifestyle Dom/subs who have the ability to switch for cam , probably deserve more respect than me who won't/can't. It's not because I feel like a fraudster acting sub , It's because I feel like I'm being raped , and I won't do anything I hugely dislike, even for money - I almost wish I could

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    Default Re: BDSM. Switching your Role, fully.

    Quote Originally Posted by ukmissy View Post
    As for switching - I am dominant by nature , and lead a lifestyle which relfects that - I can't switch , not even for a customer - I physically can't do it , I feel like I'm violating my sexuality - I would sooner dominate a woman ( I am straight ) , than submit to anyone - I know many girls who switch for work , I know many insta dommes/subs who play only a role on cam --- and while many lifestylers have a problem with it , I couldn't give a hoot .... In fact , Lifestyle Dom/subs who have the ability to switch for cam , probably deserve more respect than me who won't/can't. It's not because I feel like a fraudster acting sub , It's because I feel like I'm being raped , and I won't do anything I hugely dislike, even for money - I almost wish I could
    That is exactly like me!

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    Default Re: BDSM. Switching your Role, fully.

    Quote Originally Posted by ukmissy View Post
    OP - May I point out , I have noticed little correlation between attractiveness and self esteem ! While it would make sense that an uglier guy/girl would worship the ground you walk on , and find you 'extra' attractive , I don't find this to be the case in life at all .... In fact often ugly guys are the first to nit pick any little flaw on a beautiful woman. In the same respect , often men with great bodies , carry a low self esteem .... Body builder in particular are well known for having low self esteem ----- ( obviously that's a generalization, but it makes a bit of sense that the guy shy guy got pumped to have something other than his personality to hide behind ) ..... Anyway , of course generalisations are just that , but what I am saying is , there is really small link between what people consider beautiful and how they look themself !! Believe me when I say , a conventionally ugly guy with a big ego , is no more likely to worship your beauty than a conventionally attractive guy with a small ego ....... While it would make sense for the trend to exist , it really doesn't , same for the other way round ------ How many truly ugly bitches do you know who walk around thinking they're the most beautiful thing to grace the planet...I can tell you , I know literally 100s.... and On the same level, I know many beautiful girls who consider themselves less than shit on the beauty dar - Beauty is of course in the eye of the beholder - it's an interpretation, a criticism even - and generally in life - beauty does not pair up ------- Most couples are not on the same level , in general, financially yes, professionally yes , but beauty ---- I don't believe so .
    I understand this wasn't your question , but I just wanted to add that in .

    As for switching - I am dominant by nature , and lead a lifestyle which relfects that - I can't switch , not even for a customer - I physically can't do it , I feel like I'm violating my sexuality - I would sooner dominate a woman ( I am straight ) , than submit to anyone - I know many girls who switch for work , I know many insta dommes/subs who play only a role on cam --- and while many lifestylers have a problem with it , I couldn't give a hoot .... In fact , Lifestyle Dom/subs who have the ability to switch for cam , probably deserve more respect than me who won't/can't. It's not because I feel like a fraudster acting sub , It's because I feel like I'm being raped , and I won't do anything I hugely dislike, even for money - I almost wish I could
    Thank you. Being a sub is not something I can ever do. I've had guys try to come in and try it on me and it makes me want to find them and cut their dick off. I also don't like dominating women either. It makes me feel like a serious perv when a woman has approached me. Like watching a parent breast feed an obvious walking talking tween.

    I will agree with the generalization since In my experience all the attractive men I've met have all had self esteem issues. Even approaching someone they were attracted to came with a charming move that seemed to almost not appear as a come on at all. You almost had to wait until their lips were pressed against yours to know for certain they were interested. Not that I'm complaining about that "revelation" at all lol but it's quite interesting. Uglier men seemed to be more boastful or in your face and do seem to nitpick over shit that you don't even realize.

    Personally I can't get turned on by the ugly sub. Yes the money is great but when the sub is a good looking man it just takes my pleasure to a whole new height. Plus the uglier ones don't seem as dedicated, seriously seem needy to a ridiculous level and require the attention of as many women money can buy. It's just too much of a turn off but not bad enough to refuse their money.

    I've noticed the good looking ones seem to stay around longer and they can see that smirk you get when you see their name pop up. I like that tortured feeling of desiring them and watching them drop to their knees. Ohh and the begging. This is probably one time in camming where begging is a turn on.

    Ohh and what's up with the sub trying to dominate? That annoys me. I feel like I need to pull out Gandalf's staff and yell " you shall not pass" !!

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