Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted here; I've been taking a break from dancing (6 mos) and I finally, after catching myself thinking about dancing more often, doing some prepping through these helpful forums, and the encouragement of my boyfriend, decided to return last night to dance. I was pretty nervous, but I would just chalk that up to being a "re-newbie" and my tendency for anxiety.
I set these boundaries for me before I got in the club tonight, and will tweak them as I get back into the swing of things: 1. Not getting fully "nude" (topless club) on the floor 2. no touching on the floor unless they buy 3+ dances consecutively, and then only my thighs, hips, and perhaps a caress of the ass if they are generous. 3. remove myself from situations where I feel my integrity is being compromised. I was hoping the "less is more method" would help me land some VIPs, but I did not get any VIPs tonight. I did however, have one guy spend $160 on me just in lapdances on the floor so I can't complain. Another guy told me that I was a "tease" in a good way (is that possible?) so I believe I was applying myself correctly.
My biggest problem has always been crowds. If there are too many club patrons, I tend to shy away and not do what I know I should do, which is talk to EVERYONE or at least, 80-90% of the room (more chance for a yes, right?); however, for tonight I decided to take it easy, apply myself but don't force it. I didn't do great but I also didn't come home empty-handed, I made $203 after house fees ($95) on a 6 hour shift working from 2AM to 8AM (after 5-6am the club is near empty...not that that's a valid excuse not to make money!) on a Wednesday night without going on stage (please don't laugh at me =/). I know I am worth much more and I can do better than this!
My boyfriend picks me up from the club in the morning, and after some small talk about my night, he proceeds to "critique" the way I work. Turns out he had dropped by some time during the night and watched me do my thang. First he said I'm "moving kind slow" in there, meaning I didn't look very gung-ho about getting dances and I was talking too much with staff. At the time I was talking to some managers, I had already done my rounds on the floor and was taking a break. I don't want to be the girl on the cell-phone and the locker room is boring so I decided to chat it up with them for a bit. Then he said I needed to "work the floor more/flirt more", I should sit in the customer's laps while I talk to them and "entice them", and also "throw my titties in their face". Then he adds, "also when you grind, you look like you're twitching."
I can take constructive criticism well, I've being doing it all my life. I also tend to be irrational which is why I am making this post because I would like your point of view, ladies. Is it wrong of me to be slightly offended though?
Tonight I had armed myself with the help of the "psychological well-being thread", especially the point to leave my work at the club and setting boundaries. It's just a job and I am more than my job (you ladies are platform-heeled saviors!). I was ready to apply this since I made these mistakes during my first attempt at dancing and it ruined me. BUT IT IS SO HARD NOT TO GO OVER EVERY LITTLE THING I DID TONIGHT BECAUSE OF HIS "ADVICE" AND I CAN'T EVEN SLEEP.
Of course, I would appreciate comments on whether he was being appropriate and I am just being a little bitch which I can be sometimes especially after busting my ass in plastic heels I haven't worn in 6 months at ungodly hours in extreme hunger...or is my gut-feeling right that it wasn't very nice of him to tell me how to do my job? I know he was trying to be helpful and I can appreciate that. Other than that just one last question:
Does the lap-sitting thing really make a difference? I don't do it or rarely do it because I find it uncomfortable, but definitely will if it get me dances/VIP/$$$. I tend to either sit next to them or across from them but scoot in close and stroke their thighs/arms, rub their back, and caress the backs of their necks. I think that's enough contact where lap-sitting shouldn't be needed. I also do eye-contact, lots of conversation, laughing, smiling, and snuggling up close to the crook of the neck and shoulder if I can't hear them well over the music.
Apologies for the lengthy post and thank you for taking your time out to read this.



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I would have a talk with him. I would tell him never to give me unsolicited advice about work. I would tell him to be supportive by listening and encouraging. Things like saying, "I'm sure you'll make even more next time, honey!" That's more helpful then his way of handling things.
I'd rather videotape myself lap dancing a teddy bear! Time to dive into hustle hut!
Seriously, he should don a wig, skirt, and some heels and go ahead and get "all the money" since he's so into my job 
You know, male strippers exist... if he thinks it's such "easy money," he can go try it out himself. I had a roommate like that once - talking all the time about how if he was a girl, he'd capitalize on it so hard, I don't even appreciate what I've got, he has to come up with "business ventures" to make tons of money because he wasn't blessed as a female who could just use her hot body, blah blah blah... Of course, this guy would scarf down 1000 calorie meals and only shower once a week. He wasn't "fat" or even necessarily disgusting most of the time - he was actually attractive aside from an ever increasing belly and the end-of-the-week greasy hair and B.O. And he had no problem picking up ladies. If he took better care of himself and actually groomed, he'd be super hot and could totally be a male stripper or escort and point that flirting energy toward money-making ventures instead of drunk chicks at parties. Oh, but why do that when you can just use the excuse that you weren't born with a vajay so you wouldn't make as much money - but you totally would put in that effort and make that money IF you were a woman... mmmhmmm... I always wanted to tell him that even if he was a girl, he'd probably have the same dietary and hygiene habits and would never be hired to do what I do.

Luscious Sadie I think that's pretty much, slowly but surely what is happening anyway. This tension and negativity from our fight gravitated towards other parts of our lives today and things are just bad. He's tired of my tears and emotions, and I am tired of his disregard and controlling ways. I realized he will never see or appreciate all that I do for us and that freakin' sucks.
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