One of the things I really hate about having a job in the adult industry is telling people what I do for a living. Sometimes I make-up a job, sometimes I say I'm a student, or just say what's appropriate for the situation. Only 5-6 people really know what I do, and those are the ONLY people who get to know. One of the social situations I cannot handle is going to the bank.
Does anyone else have nosy tellers asking you what you do for a living? One time I came in for a "evaluation of my account" and the mother-of-three 30-something asked me what I did for living as she saw my fairly hefty direct deposit checks (worked a lot that month) which just list it as being from MFCXY. I hate to say it, but I was to afraid of being judged so I said I bought things at thrift stores and re-sold them on eBay. Then, she kept asking me more questions about it and hinting that maybe I could show her how to do it. The whole time I'm making crap up. Incredibly awkward.
So my issue is, I wanted a preliminary evaluation for a mortgage and the lady handed me some papers asking about my job, income, copies of paystubs, W2 from the past two years and some others. First, I want to know how to explain what I do for a living; I want to avoid saying I work for a porn site. Second, my income from the past few months has been very sporadic. One month I took off work, the next I worked constantly, this month not very much, etc. I suspect that will look very bad to a lender. Before anyone asks, I plan on putting 50% down because I recognize this job is very roller-coast-like.
tl;dr- What to write as my job on mortgage application, and does anyone have something snappy to say to people who ask you what you for a living (and you don't want to tell them the truth).



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