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Thread: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

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    Question Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    _Avery_ has a thread regarding a customer wanting her to do a double with a dancer she'd prefer not to.

    I just had a somewhat related experience. I'm getting ready to leave a club and bump into Jessie who I hadn't seen in a year, easily. We sit down and get caught up and talk about how much we're looking forward to getting reacquainted. Then she gets called up to stage. I promise to wait for her.

    My favorite shot girl comes by and we do a couple of shots. Fun time and she's very effective stripper repellent, so I don't have to fend any strippers off while waiting for Jessie.

    4-5 songs later I'm paying the shot girl and Jessie is done with her stage but she's got another girl in tow. Jessie is this college aged, small brunette with bangs. This other girl was new to me a much more veteran blond and not my type. I'm introduced and now they're both chatting me up. Awkward!

    Then it's lets go have fun. I don't even like doubles dances. Been there done that several times. I'm a one on one guy, like to devote my entire attention. Now there's a 3rd wheel I'm not even attracted to.

    Gals: Why do you think Jessie would do this?

    Guys/gals: How should I have reacted?

    I felt very uncomfortable, swallowed my tongue, and headed with them to the lap dance room. They wanted to go to the champagne court - no way. Ok, this will be a "warm up" they said. Right.

    About what I expected. Fun at times but very distracting with (feeling like) having to pay attention to two at the same time. Overstimulating at times. Overall not my style and pricey in my opinion (twice the expense, more like half the fun of a single dance with Jessie alone). Apparently they were looking for a gratuity on top as they seemed disappointed when I paid them. It was 3 songs, I hadn't budgeted for it, and I literally had to give the other girl a $10, a $5, and five $1's as it literally emptied my wallet. Might have been a fun time if I was a little short.

    Jessie dropped several notches in my mental scorecard. Won't be going out of the way to catch up with her anytime soon.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    I've noticed that dancers seem to do this when they've got a shy friend at the club who, if left on her own, would sit at the bar and not make any money. The dancers who try to pull this are usually faves or are especially hot and so the customer often goes along with it because he wants the dance from the original dancer. Though I agree that it's basically like getting half the dance for twice the price. I'm never sure how to go about turning them down either, especially if I want to still get a dance from the original dancer that caught my eye. Might be best just to turn both of them down that night and find another girl.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    You could've easily told Jessie that you wanted her company only. That simple. :-P

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Maybe the blonde was new and a friend of hers. Maybe she had helped out Jessie some other night and she owed her one.

    It would've been best to just say what you said on here. "I'm really more of a one on one guy," or "I didn't budget to do double dances tonight" or even both. Tipped the blonde a little for her time, thanked her, and asked Jessie for some private time:

    "Sorry, ladies, I didn't budget to do doubles tonight. I'm more of a one on one guy anyway. It was really nice meeting you *other dancer.* -insert tip for her time- Jessie, would you like to go do some dances?" Yeah, the other dancer would've felt a little sting to her ego, but as long as you were polite, it shouldn't have been a problem.
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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jean Valjean View Post
    Might be best just to turn both of them down that night and find another girl.

    That would have been difficult. As I said I was literally taking the last couple sips of my drink and planning to head out when Jessie showed. And I'd told Jessie I was going to do some dances with her. I'm a man of my word so going back on that would have been very challenging to me. So I was committed to one and all of a sudden had a leech I didn't know how to get rid of.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    "Sorry, ladies, I didn't budget to do doubles tonight. I'm more of a one on one guy anyway. It was really nice meeting you *other dancer.* -insert tip for her time- Jessie, would you like to go do some dances?" Yeah, the other dancer would've felt a little sting to her ego, but as long as you were polite, it shouldn't have been a problem.

    I really like this approach Aurora. Let's "other dancer" down gently and accomplishes what I'd like. I'll have to remember this. Thanks.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    I would definitely lead with a compliment of the other dancer (the one who isn't Jessie). "____, you are a stunner! I bet you'll kill it tonight. I'm really more in the mood for my regular routine with Jessie. Do you mind if she and I dance alone tonight?"

    There's no way the second girl would be enough of an ass to say "Well actually I do mind." It'll make her feel a bit in control since you're 'asking' for her permission, which is always good. And you're removing control from the more dominant one in the situation (Jessie) by asking the second dancer, but gently. It also makes you sound like the boring one--you're insulting yourself slightly by saying that you're not in the mood for anything too exciting--which is a compliment to the show they imagine they could give you but also gives them the mental room to give you that space.

    Then, when you're going to the rooms alone with Jessie, I'd say something like "I really hope I didn't offend your friend. I just love my one-on-one time with you, and I've been looking forward to this all week!" Turn the conversation towards the positive by complimenting her.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    As for why she did it, I'm not sure. As someone else mentioned, it's usually when a more dominant / successful dancer takes pity on another dancer, or when another dancer has asked her if she'd mind showing her the ropes, or when the dancers just enjoy dancing together because it's easier / they don't want to get close to the customer. Sounds like the latter case probably isn't true for your situation. Maybe Jessie just wanted to mix it up a bit because she's sick of watching herself do the same dance 100x/night?

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Thanks Kisca and Charlie. Some good insight and advice. Appreciate it.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    ^ Yeah, I feel for ya...because it's a sensitive situation. You don't want to insult the other girl because you'd end up with two angry girls. And as much as some of us might recommend that you just be blunt about what you're looking for, let's be honest...that probably wouldn't work out. Stripping is a hard job, and even nice rejection is still rejection. Many girls would react angrily just as a self-defense mechanism, even if they understood where you were coming from.

    Just don't give off any submissive vibes when you deliver your lines, because the girls will pick up on it and will be more likely to keep pressuring you ("oh, come on...it'll be fun!"). Be very clear about your stance. And if Jessie gives you any weirdness about it, then she isn't being a professional. It's your money, and you should spend it how you want to spend it (as long as you're cordial and communicate well).

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    How I've dealt with this is to tell both girls that I simply cannot handle both of them at the same time since they are so hot that it would probably kill me outright. When they scoff and laugh, I look at them very dead-pan and act like a double dance really could kill me. Usually works.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    It's happened to me a couple of times. I handle it by leaving, going to another club and spending my money on a dancer who isn't dumb enough to try and get me to do something I don't want to do for the sake of trying to help a broke-ass friend make some money.
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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    I agree 100% with Yoda. This has happened to me a couple of times and I made it clear I was not a happy camper. The dancer I was with at the time got the message real quick and shooed off the interloper. I didn't have to say anything to her.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    How I've dealt with this is to tell both girls that I simply cannot handle both of them at the same time since they are so hot that it would probably kill me outright. When they scoff and laugh, I look at them very dead-pan and act like a double dance really could kill me. Usually works.

    Lopaw, I like this approach. Could have used this and said to Jessie just me and you babe (or neither of them).

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR View Post
    I agree 100% with Yoda. This has happened to me a couple of times and I made it clear I was not a happy camper. The dancer I was with at the time got the message real quick and shooed off the interloper. I didn't have to say anything to her.

    FBR

    Not my style but thanks guys for weighing in. Was beginning to wonder why the guys weren't contributing. I figured it was either:

    A. Grow a set of balls 59
    B. Dude, been there and didn't know how to handle it either

    Sounds like it's A.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    I have always declined when approached with this. Tell them they can split the dance fee if they want. That'll get her the message.
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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    I personally think that this girl Jessie misjudged you. I dont think she realized how happy you were to see her again! I very very rarely bring another girl along but if I would have done what Jessie did here it would have been for one of the following reasons:
    1. If I thought you werent really that into me and that another girl was needed to get anywhere with you at all.
    2. If I remembered you from the past as someone who likes to have a party in VIP rather than a private one on one dance. Some men spend more that way. (Were you that kind of costumer when you met her a year ago? If you were she probably thought that she would get more out of you bringing another girl along...)
    3. If I knew you were a BIG spender who wouldnt care and I wanted to help a friend.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Quote Originally Posted by cairalis View Post
    I personally think that this girl Jessie misjudged you. I dont think she realized how happy you were to see her again! I very very rarely bring another girl along but if I would have done what Jessie did here it would have been for one of the following reasons:
    1. If I thought you werent really that into me and that another girl was needed to get anywhere with you at all.
    2. If I remembered you from the past as someone who likes to have a party in VIP rather than a private one on one dance. Some men spend more that way. (Were you that kind of costumer when you met her a year ago? If you were she probably thought that she would get more out of you bringing another girl along...)
    3. If I knew you were a BIG spender who wouldnt care and I wanted to help a friend.

    Cairalis, thanks for your input. Some good thoughts but none apply in this case.

    We were talking, snuggling, and cuddling for probably 15 minutes catching up prior to her being called up on stage. My parting comments were along the lines of "as soon as you get back let's do some dances, we've got some catching up to do."

    Jessie and the shot girl I mentioned are good friends. So I don't think she felt threatened and felt she needed another girl to split us up or something.

    Regarding VIP I'm only there once in awhile and very selective with girls I've had a long time club relationship with. Jessie doesn't fall into this category, never been back with her. Could it have happened in the future? Possibly. As I mentioned she's now way down the list.

    Not a BIG spender by any means. Typical total spend might be $200-$300 over 2-3 hours.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    I think it's more likely along the lines of what Aurora said. Perhaps a new girl and perhaps Jessie owed the new girl a favor.

    Don't know how new this girl is but possibly to this club. Quite a bit older than Jessie and not my type so unlikely for me to take notice at a club like this with dozens and dozens of girls a night. Unless she had a very remarkable name when introduced on stage. Whatever this girl's name is it wasn't remarkable, I have no clue what it was.

    Jessie may also have thought that "I hardly see this guy, so what's the risk if he's pissed off?". That's plausible, she started off as many do as a day shift and early evening girl. I'm for the most part a 5-8, 6-9 guy at this club. Get to see both day shift and the early night shift girls. She's graduated to the later night shift, starting 9-10. In fact she was teasing me that it was past my bed time.

    Actually I have been popping in later more and more. Partly because many of the girls I know have done the same, come in 9 or later. And the ones working the happy hour time frame today are less appealing than they used to be and often less in numbers.

    So there's a decent chance we'll both be there in the future but I won't go out of my way to catch her stage show or anything. When and if we eventually do bump into each other when neither is occupied you can bet I will be asking some questions about what went down!
    Last edited by 59; 06-21-2012 at 04:59 AM. Reason: typo - Jessie is most definitely not a guy! lol

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    I'd put serious money on the bet that Jessie was TOTALLY clueless that you wouldn't be cool with that. A lot of guys think having two girls in the back makes them look pimp-ish. I just think it makes them look poor.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Quote Originally Posted by 59 View Post
    Cairalis, thanks for your input. Some good thoughts but none apply in this case.

    We were talking, snuggling, and cuddling for probably 15 minutes catching up prior to her being called up on stage. My parting comments were along the lines of "as soon as you get back let's do some dances, we've got some catching up to do."

    Jessie and the shot girl I mentioned are good friends. So I don't think she felt threatened and felt she needed another girl to split us up or something.

    Regarding VIP I'm only there once in awhile and very selective with girls I've had a long time club relationship with. Jessie doesn't fall into this category, never been back with her. Could it have happened in the future? Possibly. As I mentioned she's now way down the list.

    Not a BIG spender by any means. Typical total spend might be $200-$300 over 2-3 hours.
    I see...then it doesn't really make much sense to me!

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    There were several reasons I used to do this:

    A) Friend who hooked me up with doubles with one of her customers, and I know my customer is a pushover.
    B) Customer who is a PITA that I don't really like and don't want to spend 1 on 1 time with for whatever reason.
    C) New girl and management asked me to show her how to sell a dance (happened more than once).
    D) High spending customer that I know is actually into doubles and will spend more in a more expedient fashion.

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    Default Re: Why does a dancer unexpectedly double-up and how to decline?

    Mediocrity, thanks for the insight. Those make sense.

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