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Thread: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

  1. #1
    Member Bunnygirl's Avatar
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    Default The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    My shows aren't exactly sex shows. Most of the time, I am in underwear and a top and I just chat all night. Which sounds great but, because all I do is talk, guys talk to me about everything and get very personal etc.
    The problem I have is them trying to meet me, get my phone number etc, I'm finding it hard to keep up the rapport, but still kind of remind them this is a business! I sell my number, but a lot of my regulars seem to think they should get it for free!
    I even had a guy get all teary eyed last night that he couldn't meet me!
    Any tips??? xxxx

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    I have this problem on the tip-based site I work on. I literally only do one 10-15 minute show per night, the other three hours or so I'm on cam I'm just talking in a shirt and panties with the occasional tip for tits. Guys say they love that we are able to just "hang out" but a couple of them are trying to get Really personal. I usually try to redirect the conversation or focus on what another customer is saying and pretend like I didn't read that this guy wants to know me on a personal level. Then I get PMs saying how they wish we could be friends in "real life" and I should move to their state so we can hang out and it's just, really uncomfortable.

    I wouldn't say anything along the lines that you are there to work and not make friends, because then they'll feel like you're just there for the money and "taking advantage" of them and will probably stop spending on you. What (kind of) works for me is when I remind guys that there are some crazy people online and as a female, after reading so many horror stories about people meeting people from the internet and getting raped/killed/whatever, I really can't take any risks and I am super paranoid about meeting ANYone from the internet. I've only had to say something this extreme a couple of times, and guys seem to respect it. They will still say things like how they wish we could date but now it's more like they are just fantasizing and not actually asking for it or pressuring me into it. I'm not sure if this strategy will work for you, as you are already selling your phone number, so you can't really make the excuse that you don't feel comfortable interacting with them outside of the site.

    Tbh, I'm not judging or anything like that, I don't even know you so I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but by offering your phone number I can see how a guy would interpret that as you being open to/wanting a relationship with them offline. A phone number is a very personal thing (even if it's just a prepaid one that you got specificially for this purpose, the guys don't know that). If you are giving them access to a part of your off-cam life, it's not surprising that a guy would interpret that to mean he has a chance of developing a close and "real" relationship with you. Maybe tell your regs who want your number for free that you are asking everyone to pay for it so that you can be sure they really want it and aren't going to abuse the privilege of texting you. Or maybe consider not offering your phone number at all if some of these guys are getting too "real" and it's making you uncomfortable.

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  5. #3
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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    my phone number is done as a package, so 3 texts a day and one pic for a week, so it should be obvious it isn't going to be free!
    I know that they spend a lot of money talking to me, and I make hundreds every night. But a lot of them start mentioning the money and how they can't keep it up and I get bombarded with emails from them through the site.
    I try to only answer a couple of them but then I get a load of "why are u ignoring me?" type emails.
    I realise its lots of money to be spending just to talk to me , but no one is forcing them! Sometimes I think Im too friendly....I mean it makes me a lot of money, but a lot of them go on like they actually have feelings for me.
    I put up a couple of clips on the site of me with a guy, and I got loads of emails asking who he was and getting all jealous!! Everyone else seems to have clips like that on their pages.
    I just dont know how to keep up the rapport with them yet keep them at bay lol!!

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    Change the subject, if he keeps on, act coy... aww hunni really? and why do you want to meet me?, then use something in what he says to start a new conversation.... mirror him and keep him chatting. Usually this gets them back around to talking/ sexy talk. If he insists and just won't change the subject, tell him sorry baby i don't meet ever... but i love to fantasize about what would happen if we did... got any ideas?

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    I used to have this problem. A big part of my show is just chatting and relying on tips. I used to consider and treat these guys more like friends but it never ends up good and ends up annoy the fuck out of me. When you treat these guys like friends that gives them an excuse to stay in your chat all day with out adequately paying for your time/services, think they should get everything you offer for free, and of course eventually try to push things further. This used to drive me crazy and I decided I needed to turn my chat into more of a business. Yeah i still keep it fun and am friendly but these guys know from the minute they log in my room i mean business. Stick to your guns, no questions asked. If someone is freeloading, ignore them kick them. If they ask you for hook ups, say NO. Don't explain it, just no. That's just your policy. If they go on and on about all your care about is money and are using them etc etc, ignore them/ban them they're delusional and just trying to get more out of you than they should. I found the more you stick your policies and keep it professional when it comes to sales, the more the guys will follow suit. When I tried to bend over backwards for guys who didn't deserve it, I end up hating camming. Too much drama knowing when you log on someones going to be asking for something you're uncomfortable with. I have no problem tellings guy now that this is my job, my business, and all though I love actually conversing and having a good time with my customers, if you aint paying or are doing something that's bugging me, you're not gonna get shit from me.

    If they're pestering to give you your number for free:
    Guy: hey can i get your number too
    Me: Of course, that's umm...XXXX tokens..
    Guy: Really? I just kinda thought we were cool, i'm not going to text or call you for sexual reasons, just to say hey.
    Me: Okay that sounds like fun. I charge XXXX tokens.

    He should either tip it or shut the fuck up about it there. Stick to your guns. You may think you're losing a good regular but usually when regulars start asking for hook ups, they're over trying to spend lots of money to impress you and are tryna get what they think they deserve for all the money already spent.


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    Featured Member Jessica1001's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    It sounds to me like you are doing everything right. :-)

    Setting boundaries will have to be up to YOU. You're answering 25% of the emails you get? Start answering 10%. (Unless it's a potential $ - generating lead...I'm sure you can differentiate.)

    The "why are you ignoring meeeee?" emails? Ignore them. Or redirect them into paid chat: "Awwwww.. Kevin! I am sooo not ignoring you! It's just that my inbox is blowing up... lol... it's sooo hard to keep up! But I would love to hear what's new with you.... I'll be online at 6pm tonight, hope to see ya! MUAH!" After that, stop the free attention.

    Just train them like you train a puppy. Money = attention.

    It also sounds to me like a price change (in the UPward direction) is in your future. :-)

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    Member Bunnygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    Just train them like you train a puppy. Money = attention.
    This needs to be my mantra!!!

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnygirl View Post
    my phone number is done as a package, so 3 texts a day and one pic for a week, so it should be obvious it isn't going to be free!
    Girl, of course it would be obvious to any model on here, or any rational thinking person, for that matter. You are providing a service to them, of course you are entitled to be compensated for that service. Nothing more and nothing less. BUT, you have to remember that some of these guys who claim they're in love with you and are clearly getting emotionally involved with your cam persona are NOT rational. I'm not trying to customer bash in any way, in fact I would say that MOST customers are not like this, but really, what emotionally stable and healthy guy would spend hundreds of dollars a day just to chat with an a girl? It's one thing if they are paying for a show and they are just looking for a visual aid to help them masturbate, but the guys who tip "just because they like you so much" and start feeling possessive have some Serious issues. So you've got to throw rational expectations out the window when dealing with these guys.

    I've had guys try to pull the line that it's getting expensive and why can't we just talk and email for free? It's hard to reply without offending them and potentially losing their business. I've told one guy in particular (who was never a big spender in the first place) that I can try to email him when I can but I've got to give my attention to the paying customers as it's only fair to them. A lot of times I just don't have the time/energy to engage in long conversations because my paying customers keep me busy and I need to make sure I am keeping them happy. At that point the guy will either take the hint and continue tipping, or will keep it moving. Every regular, no matter how loyal, has a shelf life, and even if you do everything right there comes a point where a guy just drifts away. Other that trying to remain diplomatic, there's really not much you can do to prevent it from happening.

    A little off topic, but I was also thinking of getting a prepaid phone and selling the number to custies for texting only. Of course I'd have to set some boundaries like I will only reply between certain hours, there's a limit to how much I will text every day, etc. Do you find that guys who buy your number tend to abuse it and blow up your phone, or do they generally observe the limits you've set?

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    They are actually nice and have observed the limits....surprisingly!! But the guys who bought it were not the guys who haggled! One guy in particular keeps asking for it, I tell him he'll have to pay, he gets annnoyed, then apologises. Next day, he asks for it for free again!!! Aaaargh!!!

    Thing is, it is hard when they have spent hundreds each night, then they start saying they can't keep affording it. They just can't comprehend that I don't want to talk for free lol!
    I will try and cut my emails down because I reply to most of them which is probably silly!

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    You have to stop viewing them as friends in any way shape or form.. remember (and some might disagree with me here), these guys are NOT the sort you would be friends with in real life. They are NOT trying to get your number or meet you because they like you, but because they see you as someone they have the right to fuck, because you sell yourself on the internet. They see you as worthless. Even if they are telling you oh you're so nice, i wish i could meet someone like you, i wish my girlfriend was like you etc etc etc, they are only seeing the fantasy, the epitome of perfect fuck-buddy-ness.

    Cease seeing them as real people, and start viewing them as money machines (or puppies!). Makes things a lot easier and the guilty feeling when they tell you they can't keep spending so much will disappear They make the choice to come to a cam site and spend money on you. They know what you're there for. They've probably pulled the same thing on countless girls time after time and eventually been told to fuck off, or given up, so they know it will end the same way with you. They are trying to manipulate your emotions. Like a poster above said.. when they reach this point they've usually reached the end of their usefulness anyway x


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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by sexysusie View Post
    You have to stop viewing them as friends in any way shape or form.. remember (and some might disagree with me here), these guys are NOT the sort you would be friends with in real life. They are NOT trying to get your number or meet you because they like you, but because they see you as someone they have the right to fuck, because you sell yourself on the internet. They see you as worthless. Even if they are telling you oh you're so nice, i wish i could meet someone like you, i wish my girlfriend was like you etc etc etc, they are only seeing the fantasy, the epitome of perfect fuck-buddy-ness.

    Cease seeing them as real people, and start viewing them as money machines (or puppies!). Makes things a lot easier and the guilty feeling when they tell you they can't keep spending so much will disappear
    True, I know they are trying to make me feel guilty!

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    I used to feel guilty too... but now i get so incensed that they actually have the audacity to believe I would ever meet them for real, that i string them out as long as i can, get the final few £££'s before they realize it's never gonna happen. The REAL good guys are the ones that come back time and again, never mention how much they're spending, really get into their fantasies with you, and respect what you're both there for x

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    One thing I have learned in my many years camming is that the guys who are in your room claiming to like you so much and want to meet etc are not only doing this routine in YOUR room but in OTHER models rooms! These guys are the type who have a pole in every freaking pond giving the same schpiel to every model hoping ONE will bite and be lonely/desperate or dumb enough to think he wants to be your friend and not that he thinks he can molest you if you meet in person within the first 10 minutes! Trust me, I KNOW and have SEEN these guys for 15 years play this game.

    Just had one of these numbskulls last night. Comes in, says he's a Dr (mind you, it is like 1am where he is when he started visiting me) goes to paid chat, brags about how he owns 7 clinics, then I ask more about his specialty and exactly what he does and then he says how he just "runs" them .. Come on! If you are going to have a story, at least sound like you have it right. Then, he leaves, but comes back like 3 more times over the course of the night. Finally comes back around 3am and I asked why he is still up if he needs to run his "clinics" etc...he says he is "cleaning his pool". Mmmmmm okay, if you are a successful Dr running 7 clinics, I would think you have the $$$ to pay a pool service and NOT be cleaning a pool at 3am. Sorry, but, your story is just bizarre and I have had your type before in video pretending to be something you are not so you can impress me. Yawn. So he then tells me to check my email he sent a message (on SM). Ok, after I log off, I read this ridiculous email about how "we should get to know each other better....here is my phone number, text me anytime...I want to meet you.... here is my email, write to me...I will pay whatever it takes to get you here to visit so we can *get to know each other better* (read: sex)" I just laughed at the gall of the email, and expect him to show up today if I sign on asking if I had time to read it and had an answer. LOL Oh, here's the kicker: This "Dr" didn't even have a webcam so I could see him...seems to me, if he is so successful, he can afford a $30 simple webcam, right? LOL In his email he states he would be glad to send me pics (read: here is my penis pic) LOL At any rate, what I was trying to get at, is that I am sure that the breaks this guy was taking and not in my vid or chat he was probably in another models chat doing the SAME routine and trying to hook up with her. LOL It's funny, because over the years I have gone in other girls rooms and seen my "internet boyfriend who loves me and only me" in another hosts room chatting her up and telling her the same BS he is telling me.. acting like SHE is the one and only he is running this game with.

    I also have to question guys who have never seen you before, and after the FIRST videochat with you, suddenly feel you two should meet. That is just NOT NORMAL behaviour! That is creepy and weird! Any viewers who are reading this: take note, cam girls think this is NOT attractive and does NOT make them feel they are special or want to meet you! LOL

    I was thinking this morning that this guy was probably a janitor, cleaning a Drs office and the pool was the toilet he was scrubbing! LOL

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by JuliAnne333 View Post
    I was thinking this morning that this guy was probably a janitor, cleaning a Drs office and the pool was the toilet he was scrubbing! LOL
    More like he's a jobless waster living in his parents basement!

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by JuliAnne333 View Post
    One thing I have learned in my many years camming is that the guys who are in your room claiming to like you so much and want to meet etc are not only doing this routine in YOUR room but in OTHER models rooms! These guys are the type who have a pole in every freaking pond giving the same schpiel to every model hoping ONE will bite and be lonely/desperate or dumb enough to think he wants to be your friend and not that he thinks he can molest you if you meet in person within the first 10 minutes! Trust me, I KNOW and have SEEN these guys for 15 years play this game.

    Just had one of these numbskulls last night. Comes in, says he's a Dr (mind you, it is like 1am where he is when he started visiting me) goes to paid chat, brags about how he owns 7 clinics, then I ask more about his specialty and exactly what he does and then he says how he just "runs" them .. Come on! If you are going to have a story, at least sound like you have it right. Then, he leaves, but comes back like 3 more times over the course of the night. Finally comes back around 3am and I asked why he is still up if he needs to run his "clinics" etc...he says he is "cleaning his pool". Mmmmmm okay, if you are a successful Dr running 7 clinics, I would think you have the $$$ to pay a pool service and NOT be cleaning a pool at 3am. Sorry, but, your story is just bizarre and I have had your type before in video pretending to be something you are not so you can impress me. Yawn. So he then tells me to check my email he sent a message (on SM). Ok, after I log off, I read this ridiculous email about how "we should get to know each other better....here is my phone number, text me anytime...I want to meet you.... here is my email, write to me...I will pay whatever it takes to get you here to visit so we can *get to know each other better* (read: sex)" I just laughed at the gall of the email, and expect him to show up today if I sign on asking if I had time to read it and had an answer. LOL Oh, here's the kicker: This "Dr" didn't even have a webcam so I could see him...seems to me, if he is so successful, he can afford a $30 simple webcam, right? LOL In his email he states he would be glad to send me pics (read: here is my penis pic) LOL At any rate, what I was trying to get at, is that I am sure that the breaks this guy was taking and not in my vid or chat he was probably in another models chat doing the SAME routine and trying to hook up with her. LOL It's funny, because over the years I have gone in other girls rooms and seen my "internet boyfriend who loves me and only me" in another hosts room chatting her up and telling her the same BS he is telling me.. acting like SHE is the one and only he is running this game with.

    I also have to question guys who have never seen you before, and after the FIRST videochat with you, suddenly feel you two should meet. That is just NOT NORMAL behaviour! That is creepy and weird! Any viewers who are reading this: take note, cam girls think this is NOT attractive and does NOT make them feel they are special or want to meet you! LOL

    I was thinking this morning that this guy was probably a janitor, cleaning a Drs office and the pool was the toilet he was scrubbing! LOL
    This has just made me see it in a whole other light lol!!!!

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by sexysusie View Post
    I used to feel guilty too... but now i get so incensed that they actually have the audacity to believe I would ever meet them for real, that i string them out as long as i can, get the final few £££'s before they realize it's never gonna happen. The REAL good guys are the ones that come back time and again, never mention how much they're spending, really get into their fantasies with you, and respect what you're both there for x
    You know I have to say I am going to change the way I cam. I usually tell them no all the time but HONESTY DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to lie my fucking ass off because no matter how many times I tell them they still keep fucking pushing so what's the point. I'm getting on my lie this weekend fuck being nice. Btw you are so correct. All my privates end with phone numbers and emails. It's like who the fuck are you kidding. I just need to say " sure" can't wait to talk on the phone and bullshit them for more money. I'm usually a bitch to subs but too kind to regs. I need to see them as typing $$$$ and that's it.

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    [QUOTE=cherryblossomsinspring;2367664] HONESTY DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to lie my fucking ass off because no matter how many times I tell them they still keep fucking pushing so what's the point. QUOTE]

    I think the approach that works best for me is when I don't actually "lie," but I don't shoot them down with an "eww you're sick I would never meet you or talk to you unless you pay me!" kind of honesty, either. Lol. I should hope no one phrases it like that! I've had a few customers who clearly wanted to meet me and they were good spenders, I didn't want to lose them. Rather than giving them the *direct* truth (once again) that I never meet or carry on relationships with my customers outside of the site, when I saw their insistance I shifted my vocabulary a bit. I would start telling them that I have never met a customer in real life before, I never met anyone that I trusted enough for that, I guess if a really, really special person came along I might reconsider my rule but I would have to get to know him REALLY well first. None of that is actually a lie, and has resulted in me getting many, many exclusive shows where we just talk. I don't feel bad or that I'm stringing these guys along. I stated my boundaries in a more direct manner many, many times. If they choose to ignore my boundaries and want to live in their own fantasy land I'll be right there with them. If these guys weren't "courting" me they'd be courting another model, guaranteed. Why shouldn't I be the one who benefits from their affection?

    Boundaries. Such a fine line in this business.

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    Default Re: The Fine Line Between Friend and Customer

    rather than sure i can't wait to _____ you, keep them talking round in circles. Never actually say you WILL meet/ ring/ email them, whatever. Just say ooh really, you want to ring me? (wait for answer), aww baby I'm so flattered. why'd you like me so much? (wait for answer) Yeah, you think i'm that nice? (wait for answer) So what would we talk abou baby? (wait for answer). Now in this answer he'll probably say oh i can't wait to her your sexy voice, or I want to find out more about you etc. Use what he says to start down a new route - so "wanna hear your sexy voice" turns into mmm you like my sexy voice, i bet you'd love me to keep talking dirty to you allllll night long.... or "i wanna get to know you" turns into, what do you want to know baby?i'm into so much stuff it's unreal, i like to play sports, bake cakes... (go on and on haha). It's called mirroring and keeps them in your paid chat for ages. And you seem genuinely interested in them in the process. Of course you're playing with your boobs, licking your lips etc in the process so he's so distracted he has no idea he's being played.

    I don't tend to do this with genuinely good custies (because they get pissed off eventually). But when I get the assholes who think i'm ever really going to meet them, i do the above because they're going to give up on you very soon once they reach this point. Might as well eek the last few £££'s out of them x


    Quote Originally Posted by cherryblossomsinspring View Post
    You know I have to say I am going to change the way I cam. I usually tell them no all the time but HONESTY DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to lie my fucking ass off because no matter how many times I tell them they still keep fucking pushing so what's the point. I'm getting on my lie this weekend fuck being nice. Btw you are so correct. All my privates end with phone numbers and emails. It's like who the fuck are you kidding. I just need to say " sure" can't wait to talk on the phone and bullshit them for more money. I'm usually a bitch to subs but too kind to regs. I need to see them as typing $$$$ and that's it.

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