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Thread: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

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    Default How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    So I am kind of new to dancing and I have met this one guy who I have danced for a couple of times. There is this other girl who he knows from before I started but it is very clear he prefers me. My problem is she is all over him the instant he sits down, so if I am chatting with someone I don't get the chance to leave them before she is in his lap. I can tell by how he looks that he was hoping she wouldn't see him, but once she is there he is too polite to send her away. He is clearly not having a good time, but then he also leaves the club as soon as he has spent his money on her, but I know it is because he doesn't want to make her feel bad, not because he is out of money So my question is, how do I get him to tell her no?

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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    i wouldn't mess with that, especially if you are new to dancing. veteran dancers will fuck you up (in one way or another). Let him decide on his own. if he really didn't want to sit with her that bad, he would get up and walk away and go sit with you. From a customer standpoint, he probably knows the other dancer is desperate to keep him as a custy and that she will sit with him longer for free to keep him away from you, so he's going to capitalize on that. Once she gets sick of his games of free sitting she will give up and you can scoop him up.

    but please, DONT DO ANYTHING YOURSELF to make him stop talking to her. Just dance really well on stage so he sees you and "misses" you and make him feel special the times that he DOES sit with you. Don't put yourself in a situation where someone could say you were in the wrong and get your ass kicked, get your shit stolen, or possibly even get fired if managers are against the "stealing customers" deal.

    don't make the decision for him. just make it an easy decision for him by showing him how much fun you are.


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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Wait til he grows a set of balls.


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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    ^^ +1

    If he wants you that badly and wants to get away from her so desperately, he'll have to man up and do it himself. You, being a new dancer, swooping in and attempting to steal away a regular from a veteran who is clearly not willing to let that happen is only going to end in drama. In a perfect world, customers wouldn't be pussies and dancers wouldn't guard them like rabid dogs. But you make do with the world we live in. There's plenty of other customers - don't obsess over trying to get this one guy who can't find his testicles and tell another dancer he doesn't want to spend money on her anymore. That's his battle to fight - not yours. Your job is to make money, off multiple guys if you have to - not stir shit up by trying to "save" some ball-less guy from being "trapped" by another dancer. Focus on your own regulars, and let him man up on his own if he really wants to.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Ok, I see a pattern I will say I am not trying to save him from anything. I am trying to get my greedy little hands on his money! If he didn't have his little pussie issues, it would be such easy money.

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    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    LOL. well go for it and see what happens.

    just saying. we know you are not trying to save him. we're just trying to save YOUR ass.

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    lol, i knew you were just saying, sometimes i take things very literally, so that was kind of my first response, but even after realizing what you meant, i still thought it was funny to say what i did,

    and i do appreciate your concern for my ass !

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    If he is leaving the club immediately after he spends money on her then maybe he likes her more than you imagine. I'm sure if he wanted to spend money on you as well he would find a way to do so, lol.

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Quote Originally Posted by MyButter View Post
    If he is leaving the club immediately after he spends money on her then maybe he likes her more than you imagine. I'm sure if he wanted to spend money on you as well he would find a way to do so, lol.
    not necessarily, i see it happen all the time. theres a breed of men who is too weak to say no and end up coughing up a good amount of money.

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    You're going to invite a whole world of drama in your work life if you try and steal that customer away from the other girl. In her eyes, he's a devoted regular, not one who is wishing he was getting dances from another girl. Tread carefully!

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    You're not his mom, let him get tired of paying for someone he doesn't want. Running out once he spends on a dancer he doesn't even like? lol The guy sounds like a fool that can't say no. If he really wanted to deal with just you, he would call in and find out when you're on and find out when she isn't. Simple. Since he hasn't figured that out then just let him get tired.

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    not necessarily, i see it happen all the time. theres a breed of men who is too weak to say no and end up coughing up a good amount of money.
    Dude. We are hearing this story through the pov of the girl who wants to steal somebody else's regular, lol. Of course she thinks he likes her more while he is spending money on his favorite, lmao you're telling me you've never seen -this- happen? O.o

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Thank you to all those who offered advise in a helpful, friendy, and caring way.

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Customers play as many (or more) games then we do. The table dances are not the only entertainment for them. Some will start drama just for the fun of it.

    I've had similiar situations where a customer will tell me "I really like you, but she'll get really mad if I dance with you", or "I came in on her one day off so I could see you", or "I hate that she grabs me the minute I walk through the door". These guys acted like they didn't have balls and that they didn't like this girl, but when she moved to another club, guess what? They followed her!

    Don't take what alot of these men say at face value when you don't know them. Maybe the customer you're talking to is trying to start drama between you and the other dancer. Don't fall for it.

    I would advise you to look for new customers to the club and make them your own.

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Do you work with me?

    I have a guy who comes in to see me and whenever he's there, I'm at his table rather promptly and I remain there until he leaves. There's a new girl I work with who comes by every so often, he'll buy her drinks (as he does with anyone who cares to sit), but he never gives her any money. She's the happy, bubbly type and I'm the sarcastic bitchy type. He's nice (read: polite) to everyone else but mean (in a funny way) to me because that's the kind of relationship we have.

    I'll tell you what I wanna tell her every time I see her trying to catch his eye:

    FUCK OFF.


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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Shit Addison you just made my night
    Quote Originally Posted by Addison View Post
    Do you work with me?

    I have a guy who comes in to see me and whenever he's there, I'm at his table rather promptly and I remain there until he leaves. There's a new girl I work with who comes by every so often, he'll buy her drinks (as he does with anyone who cares to sit), but he never gives her any money. She's the happy, bubbly type and I'm the sarcastic bitchy type. He's nice (read: polite) to everyone else but mean (in a funny way) to me because that's the kind of relationship we have.

    I'll tell you what I wanna tell her every time I see her trying to catch his eye:

    FUCK OFF.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Quote Originally Posted by MyButter View Post
    Dude. We are hearing this story through the pov of the girl who wants to steal somebody else's regular, lol. Of course she thinks he likes her more while he is spending money on his favorite, lmao you're telling me you've never seen -this- happen? O.o
    lol true story

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Omfg I need to compose myself courtesy of Addison. Lmao to the OP. Just let it go. You are asking for trouble fucking with a veteran strippers money. You can't force someone to leave. If he wanted you he would have dropped her already. I think you were a nice appetizer but thats about it. He has his preferences and you can't change them.

    I remember dancing at a club in Moriarty NM called club 203. It was a shithole but we made good $$$$ cause of the truck drivers. One little n00b decided to try to "steal" a reg away from one of the vets. Long story short all the dancers took turns pissing in her dance bag. Retribution may not be this extreme where you are at but it will happen especially with times being this lean. (I didn't join in the community piss a thon since I was at home sick at the time)
    Last edited by tempest666; 07-01-2012 at 01:16 PM. Reason: added funny story
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Reminder Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    how do I get him to tell her no?
    Be a better hustler.

    Other than that just drop it.

    How would you like it if antother dancer tried to weasel in on your money? Seems rather cut throat to me.

    Just move on. It's not worth your time and effort to fight over customers.

    If they spending $500 or more and you saw them first, sure. If they're spending a couple hundred, just drop it.

    Actions speak louder than words. He obviously wants to spend money on her otherwise he would not do it.

    I've had dancers try to steal my regulars.

    It's a losing battle for them.




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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkMinx View Post
    Customers play as many (or more) games then we do.
    This x 100.

    I have seen soooo many customers play games with the girls. My best friend and I dance at the same club, and I've seen guys who will tell me they can't stand her and wish she would go away and they don't want to spend money on her, and then they will turn around and tell her the exact same thing about me as soon as she's around. But they'll get dances from the both of us, often in uneven amounts--i.e., they'll get five from her and none from me one night, then the next night they'll get six from me and one from her, etc. There are lots of guys like this out there, and you have to decide--is it worth putting up with his bullshit in order to make an uncertain amount of money, or are you better off leaving him on his own and getting dances from other guys? Cause I'll tell you, with customers who play games like this where they try to waste your time and play you against other dancers, there's no better cure than making sure he sees you working your ass off giving dance after dance with every guy BUT him. Cause then he realizes that your time is valuable, and if he wants ANY time with you he's got to shut the fuck up and pay up. Oftentimes, the best recipe for success is being seen to be successful.

    The other possibility is the obvious--that he's too polite to turn her away, or he's being a pussy. There is absolutely diddly squat you can do about this. There's no rule saying that he has to get dances from the same girl every time he comes in--the customer is 100% in charge of picking his dancer for the evening. A lot of customers are VERY easily intimidated by the dancers, and thank god this is the case, cause otherwise we would have a very difficult job to do. He's just going to have to learn to man up. And under absolutely NO circumstances should you mess with their situation. Your job is to give him a wonderful time whenever he's enjoying your company, and keep your mouth shut about the other girl. If he brings her up, just express some type of bland sympathy, then change the subject. Any customer worth having is not going to try to cause drama at YOUR workplace. Plus, no offense, but you realize that as a new girl, you've got the shiny new toy thing going on--customers are going to be interested in you until the newness wears off, and then they may well go back to their ATF. Enjoy the attention you get from your newness and take this valuable time to perfect your dancing, conversation, and entertainment skills, because once you're no longer "the new girl," it's either sink or swim, and a totally different approach is required.

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    omfg i need to compose myself courtesy of addison. Lmao to the op. Just let it go. You are asking for trouble fucking with a veteran strippers money. You can't force someone to leave. If he wanted you he would have dropped her already. I think you were a nice appetizer but thats about it. He has his preferences and you can't change them.

    I remember dancing at a club in moriarty nm called club 203. It was a shithole but we made good $$$$ cause of the truck drivers. One little n00b decided to try to "steal" a reg away from one of the vets. Long story short all the dancers took turns pissing in her dance bag. Retribution may not be this extreme where you are at but it will happen especially with times being this lean. (i didn't join in the community piss a thon since i was at home sick at the time)
    brb dying!!

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    ha, oxys and roxys took over my county and ninety percent of the dancers in the clubs are addicts. their way of stealing is to offer oral/fs for fifty dollars. or less. thats how i lost customers i had had for several years

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    Customers are fucking weird about this stuff. I've got a regular that comes in and always acts miserable around me, like I'm horribly inconveniencing him, but then almost always spends about $200 on me. I never pressure him to spend, he asks ME for dances, so he could clearly spend less or nothing on me if he wanted at which point I'd obviously leave him alone. But he spends, and acts grumpy. Whatever. (meanwhile he seems to have a more fun time talking to other girls, but doesn't spend much if at all on them)

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    So I guess what I'm saying, OP, is that there's a difference between which dancers a guy likes to look at/talk to, and which dancers a guy likes to actually spend on, and there's not always a method to the madness. Plus guys always think the "grass is greener" on the other side. If you were dancing for him more often he'd probably be staring at some other girl from across the room and acting like you were old news after a lil' bit too

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    Default Re: How do I get a guy to dump a regular

    OP, you ever watch Animal Planet? I was watching a documentary the other day about wolves. Wolf packs have a strict hierarchy and if a junior member of the pack violates that, retribution is swift and severe. You are violating the hierarchy by messing with the senior pack member's kill.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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