Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 26

Thread: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

  1. #1
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    I don't often frequent clubs but when I do I come to spend and don't have a problem with dances in general but on two occasions I have run into dancers who crossed my comfort level, one just the other day.

    When I mentioned something to the dancer both times they acknowledged my concern but pretty much kept doing what they were doing which was most recently sucking my neck, her bare crotch brushed my lips at one point don't know if it was intentional assumed she wasn't looking and bent over to far, as well as placing her mouth on my erection over my pants, none of this was prolonged and occured in the order listed and i tried to stop her when she was sucking my neck and the other things were brief and she moved on when i didn't offer a positive reaction.

    So I guess the question is how do I really express being uncomfortable with the amount of contact without coming off as an ass hole. I'm guessing I was to passive when I said something.

    side note this was in vip and didn't occur in the regular booth should i just avoid the vip area if it is assumed the customer wants more contact in there?

    thanks for taking the time for reading and responding

  2. #2
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Next time a girl is sucking on your neck, gently pull away and tell her that hickies show up on you very easily, and those would get you in very big trouble. Any smart stripper will realize that equals you not coming back in the club anymore because of an angry SO.

    As for the other things... Well, they were brief and she moved on when you didn't offer a positive reaction, so that worked out. I'd recommend reacting VERY positively (like, big grin or even outright saying you like it) when the dancer does something that falls within your comfort zone and you really like. We're not mind readers, so your body language and verbal responses are how we figure out if what we're doing is working for you or not. If you're just sitting there passively, we'll keep trying different things.

    Of course, there's also nothing wrong with simply saying what kind of dance you like beforehand. Not in a demanding way, but perhaps just say you're more of a cuddler or anything that would indicate that the raunchier moves aren't your thing.

    And finally, don't go back for dances again with girls whose dancing style doesn't do it for you. Try out some other girls and when you find one who does it for you, keep going back for dances with her in the future.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to shanna dior For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    The first thing I would suggest is not doing VIP with a dancer until you have done an individual dance or two just to see if her style is compatible with what you are looking for. This may not always be foolproof since VIP rooms are generally more private than the regular PD area but I always do it anyway. If she is doing something you are uncomfortable with just tell her nicely that you would rather she not do that. If she persists try suggesting something that she has already done that you enjoyed. If she continues to make you uncomfortable after you have raised objections it's time to stop buying dances from her. Unfortunately, if you are already in VIP trying to stop and leave, without paying her, is going to cause problems.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to yoda57us For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    302
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 21 Times in 18 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Perhaps the OP should consider not doing VIP, as what appears to be in his comfort zone probably occurs in a lap dance at his selected venue. Doing multiple lap dances can at times be a better situation for both customer and dancer in certain clubs, where the fee structure can occasionally be heavily weighted to the club, not the entertainer.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to rockie For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,570
    Thanks
    4,406
    Thanked 7,481 Times in 2,715 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    I feel your pain J. There is nothing worse than going to a back room with a sexy dancer for a simple, sensuous experience and, instead, being molested. And you really have to watch out for that, because some of these girls are very tricky. One minute she is simply moving against you in a way that is quite nice and then, the next moment, she has her mouth over your pants and on your erection.

    When that happens to me, I usually say, in a stern voice, "That is NOT OK!" If she continues anyway, obviously believing that NO means YES, I let out a high pitched squeal with something like, "PLEASE STOP, I DON'T WANT THAT!" or something else designed to let her know that I am not enjoying her violation of my body. Of course, when it gets to that point, club staff often enters to check out the source of the noise, at which point I make sure to let them know that her behavior was simply unacceptable and that I feel violated.

    J, it is good to see that someone else feels this way. We should form a support group. We could call it, Men Who Have Been Violated by Strippers in VIP. Seriously dude, there have to be others who have been subjected to this gross mistreatment and who could benefit from advice and emotional support.

    Now some have suggested to me that, with my size and strength advantage, it should not be a big deal for me to gently shift away and perhaps even just kindly let her know that I'm really only looking for a standard lapdance. The problem, though, is that I'm afraid that she'll think that I'm an asshole for doing so. It is a real pickle indeed.

    Anyway, just my two cents.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 07-02-2012 at 11:19 AM.

  9. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    I'm really having trouble picturing neck sucking. I can't say as I've ever even done this in my personal life. Seems weird to me. Im just sort of imagining a chick making a seal with her mouth on dude's neck and applying suction.

  11. #7
    Senior Member Think!'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2012
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 25 Times in 16 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I feel your pain J. There is nothing worse than going to a back room with a sexy dancer for a simple, sensuous experience and, instead, being molested. And you really have to watch out for that, because some of these girls are very tricky. One minute she is simply moving against you in a way that is quite nice and then, the next moment, she has her mouth over your pants and on your erection.

    When that happens to me, I usually say, in a stern voice, "That is NOT OK!" If she continues anyway, obviously believing that NO means YES, I let out a high pitched squeal with something like, "PLEASE STOP, I DON'T WANT THAT!" or something else designed to let her know that I am not enjoying her violation of my body. Of course, when it gets to that point, club staff often enters to check out the source of the noise, at which point I make sure to let them know that her behavior was simply unacceptable and that I feel violated.
    Are you serious? Feel violated? Why would they violate you?
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

  12. #8
    Senior Member HandSanitizer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hollywood
    Posts
    179
    Thanks
    67
    Thanked 95 Times in 51 Posts
    My Mood
    Bored

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Think! View Post
    Are you serious? Feel violated? Why would they violate you?
    Some girls provide a higher amount of contact in VIP which makes the customer feel uncomfortable. For example, some customers in VIP automatically start groping a dancer in VIP which makes the dancer feel uncomfortable. It's a matter of miscommunication. In some clubs higher contact in VIP is normal.

  13. #9
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,570
    Thanks
    4,406
    Thanked 7,481 Times in 2,715 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    I guess I wasn't over-the-top enough for the tongue in cheek nature of my post to be universally obvious.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  15. #10
    Senior Member Think!'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2012
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 25 Times in 16 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by HandSanitizer View Post
    Some girls provide a higher amount of contact in VIP which makes the customer feel uncomfortable. For example, some customers in VIP automatically start groping a dancer in VIP which makes the dancer feel uncomfortable. It's a matter of miscommunication. In some clubs higher contact in VIP is normal.

    After I read the OP's post again, I now realize I had repressed some of my memories from last month when I asked for a lap dance from a drunk dancer who kept yanking it. I am semi-traumatized now. I think I need therapy. It did happen, but I understand what you mean now.
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

  16. #11
    loveshooks
    Guest

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Don't backtrack now, Rick!!!! Up until I read your post I had no idea that so many men were experiencing such trauma. I'm seriously moved by your courage in stepping forward.

    To the OP, assuming this is a real story, how 'bout stating that you prefer more 'sensual', less overtly sexual dances when you're heading to the VIP? It's not that scary, and I highly doubt that you're going to offend a chica by telling her you don't want high contact. Phrase it in such a way that you compliment the chica, telling her you don't need high/overtly sexual contact to enjoy your time with her. That would make you a great customer in her eyes (along with being polite and tipping well, of course) and you'll get what you want.

    win/win

  17. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to loveshooks For This Useful Post:


  18. #12
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Hill country.
    Posts
    2,926
    Thanks
    1,653
    Thanked 1,896 Times in 955 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Wow OP, you sure are a rare breed of customer. Why you weren't my customer last summer?





  19. #13
    Veteran Member missykrissy's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    425
    Thanks
    1,850
    Thanked 552 Times in 219 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I guess I wasn't over-the-top enough for the tongue in cheek nature of my post to be universally obvious.
    You forgot the "That's my purse!"
    But I still got it

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to missykrissy For This Useful Post:


  21. #14
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    its pretty sad that dancers these days do this type of stuff. me personally, it was never in me to go that far no matter how drunk i am. its desperate and trashy and it saddens me every time i see this go on in my club. yeah, even on the FLOOR giving a $20 lap dance you see crazy shit like girls placing their mouth, yes their mouth, on a customers hard on. these girls are the reason why we get groped and disrespected on a daily basis.

    to answer your question, you should simply say "i dont like that." why would you be so worried about looking like an asshole to a dancer with little self worth? i mean, she wasnt worried about looking trashy when she was doing such things.

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  23. #15
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2012
    Location
    SW
    Posts
    36
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Most dancers won't object to doing less for the same pay, although this type of dancer may be so warped and used to extras that she feels uncomfortable doing anything else. Always set boundaries ahead of time, especially in a dirty club. Offer an explaination- such as being a guilty married guy, sect.

  24. #16
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    its pretty sad that dancers these days do this type of stuff. me personally, it was never in me to go that far no matter how drunk i am. its desperate and trashy and it saddens me every time i see this go on in my club. yeah, even on the FLOOR giving a $20 lap dance you see crazy shit like girls placing their mouth, yes their mouth, on a customers hard on. these girls are the reason why we get groped and disrespected on a daily basis.

    to answer your question, you should simply say "i dont like that." why would you be so worried about looking like an asshole to a dancer with little self worth? i mean, she wasnt worried about looking trashy when she was doing such things.
    Assuming this is real (The OP), it is sad how far dancing has come. I mean it never would have crossed my mind to suck necks, rub my crotch against his mouth or get anywhere near his erection.

  25. #17
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    Assuming this is real (The OP), it is sad how far dancing has come. I mean it never would have crossed my mind to suck necks, rub my crotch against his mouth or get anywhere near his erection.
    If the "CT" in his handle refers to the state of Connecticut it's really not all that hard to believe that the post is real.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  26. #18
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    CT has this problem? Very sad indeed that strippers have to resort to this to make money. Yet another reason I am glad I danced before this was common.

  27. #19
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    476
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 202 Times in 127 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Fascinating, I've read posts about dancers complaining about guys fingering thier bums and crap, but now Strippers are increasing sexually harrassing some of the more "nice" customers. This isn't the first time I've heard of shit like thus in one form of another.

    Luckily I'm a man slut so I don't have to worry.

    Still remember no means no even for hot girls.

    Anyone else sometimes feel like the world is slowing slipping into a crazy biarro universe?

  28. #20
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,570
    Thanks
    4,406
    Thanked 7,481 Times in 2,715 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    CT has this problem?
    Well, I think that saying that CT "has this problem" might be a little bit of a stretch. The majority of CT clubs are fairly tame as most of the CT cities and towns simply will not tolerate wilder strip clubs. In most CT clubs, LD areas are wide open and/or heavily monitored and, to the extent that these clubs have VIP/CR areas (and a number in CT still do not), you will find cameras that are actively monitored.

    There are a relatively small number of exceptions to this, which I believe is where Yoda's comment applies. Certain clubs in Bridgeport and, to a much lesser degree, Stamford, both come to mind. Heck, a few of those clubs are basically brothels, but most self-respecting guys wouldn't bang those girls anyway as the majority of them are fat Dominicans who will fuck for $100 or even less. Also, if you spent much time in the brothel dives, you'd quickly see that the likelihood that their clientele would otherwise be spending large sums of money in the nearby higher-end clubs is low, so the nicer clubs in CT have not been under the same pressure as those in places like Providence and San Francisco to allow more to happen. I should also mention that there is also one club in a small town north of Hartford that is starting to gain some notoriety as an extras-friendly club, but that is also an exception rather than the rule.

    If I had to place CT in the spectrum of tame to wild, I would probably designate as a bit looser than places like Alabama, Arkansas, Massachusetts and Virginia, but far tamer than Florida, Texas, Rhode Island and Michigan.

    Anyway, just my two cents.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 07-25-2012 at 10:47 AM.

  29. #21
    Member WillingToSpend's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    34
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 16 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I feel your pain J. There is nothing worse than going to a back room with a sexy dancer for a simple, sensuous experience and, instead, being molested. And you really have to watch out for that, because some of these girls are very tricky. One minute she is simply moving against you in a way that is quite nice and then, the next moment, she has her mouth over your pants and on your erection.

    When that happens to me, I usually say, in a stern voice, "That is NOT OK!" If she continues anyway, obviously believing that NO means YES, I let out a high pitched squeal with something like, "PLEASE STOP, I DON'T WANT THAT!" or something else designed to let her know that I am not enjoying her violation of my body. Of course, when it gets to that point, club staff often enters to check out the source of the noise, at which point I make sure to let them know that her behavior was simply unacceptable and that I feel violated.

    J, it is good to see that someone else feels this way. We should form a support group. We could call it, Men Who Have Been Violated by Strippers in VIP. Seriously dude, there have to be others who have been subjected to this gross mistreatment and who could benefit from advice and emotional support.

    Now some have suggested to me that, with my size and strength advantage, it should not be a big deal for me to gently shift away and perhaps even just kindly let her know that I'm really only looking for a standard lapdance. The problem, though, is that I'm afraid that she'll think that I'm an asshole for doing so. It is a real pickle indeed.

    Anyway, just my two cents.
    Your a pussy tbh.

    Lol @ feeling violated from having a hot ass girl having her mouth on your dick.

    Homo shit - don't bother going to strip clubs in general if that's the case imo.

  30. #22
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Cash-Stack-istan Island
    Posts
    14,704
    Thanks
    6,564
    Thanked 11,625 Times in 3,697 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    I've seen a situation where a girl grabbed my favorite customer's crotch over his pants, he just simply told her she didnt have to do that. She stopped immediately. You can say something like that.

  31. #23
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,570
    Thanks
    4,406
    Thanked 7,481 Times in 2,715 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by WillingToSpend View Post
    Your a pussy tbh.

    Lol @ feeling violated from having a hot ass girl having her mouth on your dick.

    Homo shit - don't bother going to strip clubs in general if that's the case imo.
    Willing, I just wanted to be cuddled. Instead, the last time I went to a lapdance room, a dancer who I believed to have a sweet and gentle soul betrayed my trust by horribly molesting me by putting her mouth on my penis.

    When I got home that night, I was filled with shame. I washed my penis over and over and just couldn't seem to feel clean. And since the incident, I have barely been able to stand visiting a club. I flinch every time a dancer touches me and the very sight of a LD area fills me with self disgust. I keep wondering: What did I do to deserve this? Did I lead her on somehow? Was it what I was wearing or something I said? Why did this have to happen to me???

    And I don't know why you are getting so mad at me - I was the victim here. J_in_CT, I and others have a right to feel violated. And we won't be swayed by guys like you who want us to just walk away and pretend that it didn't happen. It did happen and we will band together to provide each other with the emotional support that we need to get through this.

    You are a hurtful and nasty jerk for making those comments.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 07-29-2012 at 08:22 PM. Reason: spelling and grammar

  32. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  33. #24
    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,535
    Thanks
    222
    Thanked 967 Times in 481 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Willing, I just wanted to be cuddled. Instead, the last time I went to a lapdance room, a dancer who I believed to have a sweet and gentle soul betrayed my trust by horribly molesting me by putting her mouth on my penis.

    When I got home that night, I was filled with shame. I washed my penis over and over and just couldn't seem to feel clean. And since the incident, I have barely been able to stand visiting a club. I flinch every time a dancer touches me and the very sight of a LD area fills me with self disgust. I keep wondring: What did I do to deserve this? Did I lead her on somehow? Was it what I was wearing or something I said? Why did this have to happen to me???

    And I don't know why you are getting so mad at me - I was the victim here. J_in_CT, I and others have a right to feel violated. And we won't be swayed by guys like you who want to us to just walk away and pretend that it didn't happen. It did and we will band together to provide each other the emotional support that we need to get through this.

    You are a hurtful and nasty jerk for making those comments.

    Dammit rick!
    I almost shot a HOT cup 'o coffee outta my nose after reading that!

  34. The Following User Says Thank You to lopaw For This Useful Post:


  35. #25
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    934
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 66 Times in 44 Posts

    Default Re: Stopping a high contact from a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    Dammit rick!
    I almost shot a HOT cup 'o coffee outta my nose after reading that!
    I almost choked. I have several images of Rick, and none involve cuddling in the VIP area.

    Ps, that's not a dig at Rick.
    Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?

    Once more, unto the breach, dear friends.

    If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

    -- Its always amazed me how no one learns the lines from Shakespeare. I guess it is true that people don't learn history's lessons until something become's their history.

  36. The Following User Says Thank You to JoeUnCool For This Useful Post:


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. stopping dances with a dancer
    By greenhornet in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-27-2008, 10:47 PM
  2. Low Contact Dancer in High Mileage City
    By anniemont in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 12-17-2007, 12:50 PM
  3. high contact vs. low contact
    By tennisqt in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-31-2007, 05:00 PM
  4. low contact? high contact?
    By Windy in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-26-2006, 06:22 PM
  5. What is medium contact? What is high contact?
    By NinaDaisy in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-09-2004, 02:57 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •