I've been exposing myself to a lot of sexual shows to relax my mind and get focused on my passion. But I notice with the women in the shows, they're always either in a couple or they're getting paid as nude models, prostitutes, etc.
It makes me wonder if there always has to be an additional catch with women's sexual expression, like they're in love or they're getting paid for it.
One prostitute said she's not like sluts because she's a professional. Another got into a huge fight with a regular woman who cheated on her husband, saying she holds women to a higher standard as wives and mothers.
Camille Paglia the abrasive anti-feminist/feminist scholar haunts me to this day. She thinks promiscuous women are fools and that women who express sexuality for money are goddesses, that women should only express their sexuality if they're getting paid for it or they're in a committed relationship.
It just makes me think I'll never be happy. I wish I had never heard of this woman. I wish the double standard didn't exist.
It makes me want to concede and forget about other sex positive jobs like Planned Parenthood and just go back to stripping so I can feel she respects me (even though I've never met her), that people are ok with me, that I'm somehow put in check, that I have power instead of just pleasure. So I won't hear her voice anymore or have her follow me around the house criticizing and berating me.
What do you guys think? Do you think I should "give it up for free" or only as sex work? What do you think of Camille?



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