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Thread: Should women get paid for sex?

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    I think sex is no different to anthing else a person does. If you don't want to clean, have sex, do officework, build a house etc, out of the goodness of your heart then it's perfectly fine to ask to be paid for providing that service.

    Sex is the only service I can think of that thet people expect to always get get for free because some people do it for free. I'd love to be able to expect all men to change my tyre, clean my gutters, put the rubbish out, give me a back rub, and never ever have to pay ever just because some men have done it purely for the joy of making me happy.
    Last edited by emstar; 07-02-2012 at 05:01 PM.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    Sweetie let's not be delusional. When women go online and look for sugardaddies they're doing it for the money.
    Darling, are you only talking about sugar daddies? Because it seems your implication was that a woman who has sex with someone no-strings-attached style without getting paid was an idiot. There's a big difference between that and having a sugar daddy.

  4. #28
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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    What confuses me most about this thread is that it sets up, what is to me, a bizarre premise...that women shouldn't have sex unless they're being financially compensated or if they're in a 'committed relationship'. That leaves women with a sex drive who don't wish to be in a committed relationship or escort/get involved in sugar...where exactly?

    Like shy1, I don't put too much stock in the opinions of those who'd like to make blanket generalizations for an idenifiable group (based on gender, social race, etc) but I'm also wondering why the sexuality of women is being singled out here. Both genders have sex for a multitude of reasons that differ from partner to partner, situation to situation (even with the same partner) so why is the focus and judgement always placed upon female sexuality? I know this question has been asked already a million times in the literature, but I felt it pertinent to raise the point.

    People have sex for a million different (often intersecting) reasons... for pleasure, to feed one's ego, for a 'gain of' some sort (either financial or social) etc, etc, etc. This (what is to me) false construct of either getting paid in $$$$ or getting 'paid' in relationship status leaves out so much, for so many people. I have no desire to get paid for sex, it's not my thing, but up until I entered my current relationship I had no desire for a relationship either. Being a healthy human being with a sex drive, Paglia's construct wouldn't have given me any palatable options. I actually started my relationship as what I assumed would be a one-night-stand...we hooked up at a book store and were in bed a couple hours later after alot of laughing and wicked conversation. Like Will Smith in Six Degrees of Seperation I was having a fantastic time, and felt like adding something else fun (sex) into the mix. Had I not accidentally fallen in love and gotten 'committed' :-) many many months down the line, the essentials of that interaction would have remained the same. I had sex because I wanted to. For my own reasons. What I'm saying is that, provided one is comfortable with whatever reasons they choose ($$$$, fun, a committed relationship, what have you), what the hell is the problem? No one examines male sexuality on such a pathologically neurotic level in our society, so why should we allow anyone to infect our own desires with their monolithic theories?

    OP, figure out what it is YOU want, and what makes you happiest over time. Theories are like asses, anyone can have them. If Paglia's construct works for you somehow, helping you set boundaries you feel you need, then great. If it doesn't fit, find one for yourself that suits you best. When you want to get paid, do it. When you want to have fun, do it. If you're troubled by 'unattached' sex, then figure out some boundaries that work for you when you're dating. You have the right to make your own decisions.

    peace and $$$$ and good luck
    Last edited by loveshooks; 07-02-2012 at 09:19 PM. Reason: incorrect attribution


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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Six View Post
    Darling, are you only talking about sugar daddies? Because it seems your implication was that a woman who has sex with someone no-strings-attached style without getting paid was an idiot. There's a big difference between that and having a sugar daddy.
    I don't know if the problem here is that you can't read/refuse to read or you can't put two and two together. I was NOT talking about sugardaddies. That was not the basis of my comment. I was using my girlfriend that has a sugardaddy as an example.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Oh, I didn't think getting drunk at a bar and having sex was a sugar daddy thing. Seemed like a chance encounter at the bar. I was responding to your general "women who have sex for free are idiots" POV.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Six View Post
    Oh, I didn't think getting drunk at a bar and having sex was a sugar daddy thing. Seemed like a chance encounter at the bar. I was responding to your general "women who have sex for free are idiots" POV.
    Obviously we don't agree. I am not going to argue my views. You stated your opinion and I have stated mine. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. Enough said.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    I can't believe how anti-feminist some of the posters on this board are. Feminism & gender equality did not "screw up the world" or "cause a lot of bad". If it weren't for feminism, we wouldn't even have the freedom to ponder this question or to live empowering, independent lives of our own making.

    I also really dislike the whole "men will leave if you give it all away" sentiment. It's sexist, and insulting to men as well as women. If the guy likes you and wants to be with you, he'll stay whether you make him wait or you sleep with him on the first date. Any man who leaves you JUST because he had sex with you fast, umm... well, why would you want to be with him in the first place?

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    I'm very much a feminist. I believe in workplace equality, I believe in abortion and birth control and believe women should have the same rights as men. I am also ok with women having no string sex and I have admitted having had several of these relationships. However, way too many women give up sex very easily without men working for it. I speak as someone older who saw how destructive sex can be in a relationship and how many men can have sex with a woman, leading her on while she gets put in the easy category. I can't speak for men as I am not one, but there are many sociopaths who trick women. I am not saying women shouldn't have casual sex, just be able to know what the guy really is thinking. However women are the ones who pay the price, whether it is pregnancy or diseases (easier for women to get diseases).

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I'm very much a feminist. I believe in workplace equality, I believe in abortion and birth control and believe women should have the same rights as men. I am also ok with women having no string sex and I have admitted having had several of these relationships. However, way too many women give up sex very easily without men working for it. I speak as someone older who saw how destructive sex can be in a relationship and how many men can have sex with a woman, leading her on while she gets put in the easy category. I can't speak for men as I am not one, but there are many sociopaths who trick women. I am not saying women shouldn't have casual sex, just be able to know what the guy really is thinking. However women are the ones who pay the price, whether it is pregnancy or diseases (easier for women to get diseases).
    I couldn't have said it better myself.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Thanks, coming from this subject from my personal experiences and I have seen it all. In my 20s I would think "hey no biggie I'll sleep with him and he will fall for me". Honestly it didn't happen in most cases and it left me devastated. Then many of these same guys ended up marrying the later woman they dated.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Life is somewhat transactional. Generally people offer something and expect something else return. It could be a promising relationship, just pure fun, money, emotional support etc. etc.

    So I mean technically you could charge money for everything (picking up a friend at an airport) in life but that's not how it always works

    So no I don't think we should always get paid. It's like selling/buying a hug, it just doesn't feel the same?
    I like hugs and cuddles but I wouldn't pay for that. Or even I'll pay for Haagen Dazs but wouldn't feel comfy paying a friend that helped set up a job interview (through I would return a favor if someone hooked me up for one)

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    The exchange of money for sex is all about power and domination over women, especially if you consider that most escorts are, to put it mildly, 'managed.'
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Think! View Post
    The exchange of money for sex is all about power and domination over women, especially if you consider that most escorts are, to put it mildly, 'managed.'
    I am friends with A LOT of ladies in the business and they're all independent escorts. Independent meaning they screen for themselves, drive to their own appointments, book their own appointments..etc. You have the mentality most people have about this business. Domination over women? Sweetie I believe it's the other way around.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    I am friends with A LOT of ladies in the business and they're all independent escorts. Independent meaning they screen for themselves, drive to their own appointments, book their own appointments..etc. You have the mentality most people have about this business. Domination over women? Sweetie I believe it's the other way around.
    I beg to differ. Watch the documentary Client9. Even high-end escorts working for agencies don't drive themselves, book their own appointments or screen clients all by themselves.
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    I kind of think Lovelyme, an ESCORT would know about being an escort more than you do.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    I prescribe to whatever flavor of feminism says that females shouldn't have to behave in any particular way just because they're female. So I think girls who sleep around for fun and the girls who exchange sex for money are on philosophically equal footings.

    On the personal side, I identify as being demisexual, though I think that term is curious. I don't feel a sexual attraction towards someone until I feel an emotional attraction or closeness. It's certainly not to be misunderstood for a moral code though. I don't abstain from casual sex because I think it's "wrong;" I've just never had the desire to engage in it. I do think many of my promiscuous friends are dumb bitches, but I think most people are dumb bitches, so it's nothing special.

    And Think!, in regards to Client9, I haven't seen it, but you say this documentary is about escorts who work for agencies. An agency is a middle-man and by nature, I think any middle-man in this industry gives and takes a little, some more than others. The things you list that they do for escorts are things that, I would imagine, they say they do as a positive aspect. "Sign with us and we'll set your clients, screen them for safety, book for you, and even drive you!" In accepting all of that, escorts are naturally forfeiting absolute freedom. I'm not an escort, so I'm not going to interject my opinions on the ethics or whatever of such agencies. Just keep in mind that every documentary has an angle just like every person has an opinion/perspective, so it's probably a little too sure-footed to say that this market is all about domination over women.

    Forgive any delirious grammar issues. I'm off to answer the quiet call of NyQuil.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    So I think girls who sleep around for fun and the girls who exchange sex for money are on philosophically equal footings.
    I am not certain if it has to do with philosophy as much as it does with social class. Most escorts who exchange sex for money are from lower-income and working-class backgrounds. In contrast, girls or men who sleep around for 'fun' as you put it come from diverse social and cultural backgrounds. Hence, I don't subscribe to the notion that they are on 'philosophically equal footing,' and my argument is not premised on moral and ethical principles.
    Last edited by Think!; 07-03-2012 at 12:02 AM.
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    double post.
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Think! View Post
    I beg to differ. Watch the documentary Client9. Even high-end escorts working for agencies don't drive themselves, book their own appointments or screen clients all by themselves.
    How do you sound? Clearly you know nothing about the escort business. High end escorts working for agencies DO NOT drive themselves or book for themselves - duh! When you work for certain agencies you do not have to do those things yourself. When I worked for the agency, they did EVEYTHING for me EXCEPT drive me and provide me with an incall. I did those things myself even though I was giving them 50%. Agencies and PIMPS (you know the guy with the green hat and gold teeth.. lol) are two different entities. As I said, you are really clueless about the business and are spewing out nonsense. When you are working for an agency and giving them half why would you screen for yourself ? What do you think they're taking your money for?

    Quote Originally Posted by Think! View Post
    I am not certain if it has to do with philosophy as much as it does with social class. Most escorts who exchange sex for money are from lower-income and working-class backgrounds. In contrast, girls or men who sleep around for 'fun' as you put it come from diverse social and cultural backgrounds. Hence, I don't subscribe to the notion that they are on 'philosophically equal footing,' and my argument is not premised on moral and ethical principles.
    Ignorant is not bliss sweetie. You remind me of my girlfriend that freaked out when she found out I was escorting. Women from all walks of life become escort. I will name names but the last thing I want to is post about an escort's personal life on this board. I, myself, came from a very prestigious and proud family. I lived a very sheltered life and was pretty much a prisoner in my parent's house. When they decided to leave the country, I decided to do everything (well almost everything) they told me not to do. I became an escort because I wanted my own money. I did not want to work some 9 to 5 office job. As an escort I leave my house for 3 days and KNOW I'm coming back home with money people make in a month. We are not all ran by some pimp organization. In this business, I have met some of the most smartest women I've ever met in my life. I mean ..c'mon you have to be smart to do this. This business is tough physically and mentally.

    btw I wonder how you feel about the strippers on this site. I am guessing you think they come from low class families too. You sound like a woman hater. Seriously.
    Last edited by Lovelyme; 07-03-2012 at 05:46 AM.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    And Think!, in regards to Client9, I haven't seen it, but you say this documentary is about escorts who work for agencies. An agency is a middle-man and by nature, I think any middle-man in this industry gives and takes a little, some more than others. The things you list that they do for escorts are things that, I would imagine, they say they do as a positive aspect. "Sign with us and we'll set your clients, screen them for safety, book for you, and even drive you!" In accepting all of that, escorts are naturally forfeiting absolute freedom. I'm not an escort, so I'm not going to interject my opinions on the ethics or whatever of such agencies. Just keep in mind that every documentary has an angle just like every person has an opinion/perspective, so it's probably a little too sure-footed to say that this market is all about domination over women.
    Tuesday, sweetie "Think" does not think. He has no clue what he is talking about. If you're not in the community (escort, escort agency..etc) there is no way you will know how things really work on our end. It's all speculation. Let me make something clear to everyone in this thread. In the escort business, women rule. In the SEX business, women rule. We make more money than the men. This applies in both the escort and porn business. My friends in porn complain to me all the time about being underpaid but yet she makes more money than male pornstars. My opinion? If you are getting your pussy banged for hours and hours on end and you're being FILMED - You better be coming home with a suitcase full of money. As an escort, I can fuck all day, come back home with a shit load of money and no one will know what I did. No evidence. Also pornstars have bareback sex. I don't trust easy so having bareback sex with a stranger is a no-no. Also For someone like me, especially with the kind of family I come from - discretion is very important. I know for a fact that I have uncles that are pervs that watch a lot of porn, no way I ever want to be caught on their tv screen. So to those that think I am desperate for money and will do anything and anything for money - think again. There are a lot of things you couldn't pay me to do. I enjoy fucking men for money. I see absolutely nothing wrong with what I do especially when there are more than enough women doing it for free. And to those that think oooh she's so gross, I'm laughing all the way to the bank .

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    I prescribe to whatever flavor of feminism says that females shouldn't have to behave in any particular way just because they're female.
    I don't know much about the feminist movement...... But the above seems like a good goal.
    The country has been looted.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    How do you sound? Clearly you know nothing about the escort business. High end escorts working for agencies DO NOT drive themselves or book for themselves - duh! When you work for certain agencies you do not have to do those things yourself. When I worked for the agency, they did EVEYTHING for me EXCEPT drive me and provide me with an incall. I did those things myself even though I was giving them 50%. Agencies and PIMPS (you know the guy with the green hat and gold teeth.. lol) are two different entities. As I said, you are really clueless about the business and are spewing out nonsense. When you are working for an agency and giving them half why would you screen for yourself ? What do you think they're taking your money for?


    Ignorant is not bliss sweetie. You remind me of my girlfriend that freaked out when she found out I was escorting. Women from all walks of life become escort. I will name names but the last thing I want to is post about an escort's personal life on this board. I, myself, came from a very prestigious and proud family. I lived a very sheltered life and was pretty much a prisoner in my parent's house. When they decided to leave the country, I decided to do everything (well almost everything) they told me not to do. I became an escort because I wanted my own money. I did not want to work some 9 to 5 office job. As an escort I leave my house for 3 days and KNOW I'm coming back home with money people make in a month. We are not all ran by some pimp organization. In this business, I have met some of the most smartest women I've ever met in my life. I mean ..c'mon you have to be smart to do this. This business is tough physically and mentally.

    btw I wonder how you feel about the strippers on this site. I am guessing you think they come from low class families too. You sound like a woman hater. Seriously.
    First, keep the debate civil, and avoid making assumptions and generalizations about what members on this board know or don't know, or what they have experienced or not. Second, there is no need for name-calling (i.e., 'you are clueless' or 'ignorant') or accusing someone for being a 'woman hater' merely on the grounds of a few comments that they have posted with which you disagree. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Third, the title of this thread reads: "should women get paid for sex." So the question you posed about how I feel about strippers is irrelevant to the topic of this thread unless the thread was entitled "Should strippers get pad for sex?" Fourth, making an observation and a comment about the socioeconomic background of escorts has nothing to do with them having 'low class.' There is not enough space to explain the differences between the two, but I was referring to class as a group of people belonging to a social and economic group. Fifth, pimps or agencies; it doesn't matter. Both make money off escorts. The difference is the degree of exploitation. Pimps take all the money, agencies take between 30-50%. Sixth, don't turn a debate on a general topic such as escorting into a personal vendetta. Yes, you can offer yourself as an example or a counter-example to my points, but still my arguments stand because I am speaking about the business of escorting. I have a few more points, but what would be the point of sharing them when I have already been called clueless and ignorant. You could be passionate about a topic, or an expert, but that does not mean others, who slightly disagree with you, or have a different point of view, should be berated. I find your response quite insulting.
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    My friends in porn complain to me all the time about being underpaid but yet she makes more money than male pornstars. My opinion? If you are getting your pussy banged for hours and hours on end and you're being FILMED - You better be coming home with a suitcase full of money. As an escort, I can fuck all day, come back home with a shit load of money and no one will know what I did. No evidence. Also pornstars have bareback sex. I don't trust easy so having bareback sex with a stranger is a no-no.
    Whether I am clueless or not is debatable. There are few porn stars who secure long-term contracts with film companies such as Vivid Entertainment. The rest make porn films to promote their escorting business on the side. Depending on their reputation, porn stars could make between $1000-$5000/FH. So, no, most porn stars don't come home with a suitcase full of money, especially now when porn is readily available on the Internet.
    Desire is not what you want, but what you imagine--Paulo Coehlo.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    I've seen many escorts being outed on thedirty.com, smaller chance than other sex workers but still..
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

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    Default Re: Should women get paid for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    I agree. I used to look at wedding photos and think "Aww how cute". Now they symbol doom to me. Maybe it's because of all the married men I have fucked. I don't believe in perfect marriages. I see a lot of men that are in so called "Perfect" marriages. To everyone else their marriage is perfect but behind closed doors , they're miserable together. A women gets married and thinks she has the perfect man in the world while that man is out busy seeing a hot 23 year old escorts to get what she's not giving him/can't do/won't do in bed. It's fucked up but that's reality.
    ---
    You should think about the sample size you basing your judgements on....meaning guys that you fuck who are married. You do realize that you have not fucked ALL married men, right? You are basing your view on people that you see, who are basically, people who cheat on their wives.

    Thats like a prison guard who deals with violent criminals all day thinking.......'man...people are fucking violent criminals'. But he problaby realizes that there are people outside his realm, and most of those people ARENT violent criminals.....

    The majority of people I know well enough, do have happy marriages and dont cheat on their spouses....but I AM aware that there are marriages that arent like that. So it would be pretty silly of me to come to the conclusion 'I dont believe in unhappy marriages.'

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