So recently work has gone from fun to being super stressful for me. I had been making good money despite the slow season and generally enjoying myself, but over the last couple of weeks it's gotten to be really stressful and I dread going in. I have a history of panic/anxiety, so lately I've been getting panic attacks driving into work as well as even when I'm on stage. I keep thinking about money and it's self-sabotaging. The weird thing is...everything in my life is going really well. I have an awesome new boyfriend, I had been making good money at work, I just moved out of my parents place a month ago into a great apartment that I love, and my music pursuits are starting to actually go somewhere. I think the thing is I only started dancing about 4 months ago, so I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to be the best I can be and save as much as I can. I've put away around $6,000 in that time... I also had to move into a new place, which cost me a few grand...and I bought a macbook for my music stuff. Considering being new to dancing, i think I'm being pretty smart about my saving, but something inside me is like "that's not enough." Over the last month or so, I had been working extra days and I think it's lead to me being burned out. I haven't even taken a small trip outside of my town to a nearby city or the beach. It's freaking summertime! Even my friends who work minimum wage have been doing that stuff. I also see other girls at work making money when I'm not and I get so discouraged....even though many times I've been the one who's making bank... and I'm pretty much a newb. These girls have been there for a while and have established regs which help during the slow summer. I don't know why I'm being so hard on myself. I guess I just want to be the best. I think I'm pretty good at what I do for being so new... management loves me (at least until I lose my shit and have to go home). I just want to be chill and not worry so much about the money... I have money. I love my job and I think this drive to over-succeed is self-sabotaging my success. Anyone been here?



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