Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: Getting married as an escort

  1. #1
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    230
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked 43 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Getting married as an escort

    What if your boyfriend tells you, that before marrying you, you'd have to quit escorting?
    Are any of you married as an escort?
    Would you continue a relationship what had this sort of condition?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    230
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked 43 Times in 28 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    How should I feel about this kind of thing?
    As for me, I don't want to quit for anyone or to "get married" but myself.

    It's something we haven't been compromising and can't compromise on.
    Does quitting somehow change me as a person? On that same note, does getting labeld married change anything?

    He says that he finds the job personally insulting and he finds it damaging to the human condition.
    I see it as a business/work.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to kisakim99 For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Banned
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    928
    Thanks
    320
    Thanked 816 Times in 358 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Quote Originally Posted by kisakim99 View Post
    What if your boyfriend tells you, that before marrying you, you'd have to quit escorting?
    Are any of you married as an escort?
    Would you continue a relationship what had this sort of condition?
    Part of me thinks he sounds like a controlling jerk.. the other part of me is thinking "Ok. Does he have enough money to support you? If he does, then it makes some kind of sense - if he doesn't...do you really have to think twice?

    No I'm not married but I've been proposed to by two clients. Said no both times.

    My ex told me I had to quit escorting, I quit him instead.

    Quote Originally Posted by kisakim99 View Post
    How should I feel about this kind of thing?
    As for me, I don't want to quit for anyone or to "get married" but myself.

    It's something we haven't been compromising and can't compromise on.
    Does quitting somehow change me as a person? On that same note, does getting labeld married change anything?

    He says that he finds the job personally insulting and he finds it damaging to the human condition.
    I see it as a business/work.
    He says what? Of course he will say that. How many men will want their girlfriend fucking OTHER men for money?
    If you want to quit, tell him to man up and stop worrying about what you're doing and start putting in more hours at work so he can afford you.
    Getting married? Well I've never been there but if you get married without being 100% sure - you will only feel trapped.

  5. #4
    Senior Member JudyO's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    107
    Thanks
    105
    Thanked 87 Times in 45 Posts
    My Mood
    Relaxed

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Been there, done that. I gave up the biz for someone that claimed they were going to "take care" of me. Turns out that they were extremely controlling and couldn't handle my past. Once the ring went on, all the insecurities came out of the woodwork -- it was doomed from the start because I chose to ignore the warning signs.

    A friend is living w/her fiance and is also planning on leaving the biz after she gets married. Totally different kind of guy. He's extremely supportive and non-judgmental. Right now, they've already got a healthy business up and running on the side. She's planning on transitioning to the new biz over the next year. Right now, she's going gang-busters w/escorting and is saving everything she's making right now.

    Don't I wish -- but, not all guys are like that. However, continuing to escort after being married takes a special person. I've heard of it (just like married porn stars doing it), but most will not. Sounds like your guy is one of those who fall into the latter category. Do you think you're ready to leave escorting? Personally, I felt very trapped after I had the ring on my finger and would often think about the freedom and lost wages. You may find yourself in the position of looking to re-enter the biz after a few years...

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to JudyO For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    God/dess minniesoporno's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,694
    Thanks
    1,531
    Thanked 6,006 Times in 2,530 Posts
    Blog Entries
    107
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Stripperweb is closing! Join me over at WeCamgirls

    A part of all you earn is yours to keep. It should be not less than a tenth no matter how little you earn. It can be as much more as you can afford. - Richest Man in Babylon

    Youtube : youtube.com/minniecriley | Facebook MinnieCRiley | Instagram @MinnieCRiley | Twitter @MinnieCRiley

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to minniesoporno For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    God/dess minniesoporno's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,694
    Thanks
    1,531
    Thanked 6,006 Times in 2,530 Posts
    Blog Entries
    107
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Stripperweb is closing! Join me over at WeCamgirls

    A part of all you earn is yours to keep. It should be not less than a tenth no matter how little you earn. It can be as much more as you can afford. - Richest Man in Babylon

    Youtube : youtube.com/minniecriley | Facebook MinnieCRiley | Instagram @MinnieCRiley | Twitter @MinnieCRiley

  10. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to minniesoporno For This Useful Post:


  11. #7
    Veteran Member kinkydirtybitch's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2009
    Location
    London uk
    Posts
    541
    Thanks
    1,172
    Thanked 857 Times in 340 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    ahh I love paul - I want one of those one day!

    Quote Originally Posted by Fridays View Post
    What would you choose a cheap whore or an expensive whore
    Dirty is my Middle Name






  12. #8
    Featured Member strippername's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,459
    Thanks
    668
    Thanked 1,079 Times in 492 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Did you see their awkward kiss at the end? Awww..

    I will be 100% done after I meet someone who I plan on being with for a long time. Even if we were to move in together. I will be/am selective enough now that the man I am with will be able to support me while I stay at home and do fun wife things--sexy time included!

  13. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Sep 2009
    Location
    mia
    Posts
    1,974
    Thanks
    1,388
    Thanked 1,700 Times in 815 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    I know this is kinda weird and I guess hypocritical but I wouldn't want to be with the kind of guy that thinks it's okay that I'm a hooker.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to crystalize For This Useful Post:


  15. #10
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    135
    Thanks
    54
    Thanked 69 Times in 36 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    I know this is kinda weird and I guess hypocritical but I wouldn't want to be with the kind of guy that thinks it's okay that I'm a hooker.
    OMG I'm the exact same way lol. If he was that okay with me escorting it would make me wonder what (or who) he was doing, and I wouldn't be ok with that. Totally hypocritical of me I know.

  16. #11
    Banned
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    928
    Thanks
    320
    Thanked 816 Times in 358 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalize View Post
    I know this is kinda weird and I guess hypocritical but I wouldn't want to be with the kind of guy that thinks it's okay that I'm a hooker.
    AMEN!!!!!

  17. #12
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    If he thinks what you're doing is so morally reprehensible, why is he even dating you, let alone thinking about marrying you? It's one thing to not want to "share," - it's another thing entirely to say that escorting is "insulting and damaging." And it's ok for a gf to do it but not a wife? I think that's a huge red flag that he doesn't just have a problem with the job, he has a problem with the people who do this kind of work - people meaning you. So why does he stick around? I don't mean that as a personal insult, but it makes me wonder what his motives are (controlling, possibly?), or what secrets about his own behavior he may be keeping from you.

    Sorry, I just find it very odd that a man that's so against escorting would date an escort without issue, and only bring up the subject of quitting in terms of getting married.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  18. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  19. #13
    Banned
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    928
    Thanks
    320
    Thanked 816 Times in 358 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post

    Sorry, I just find it very odd that a man that's so against escorting would date an escort without issue, and only bring up the subject of quitting in terms of getting married.
    Um... isn't it obvious? He is with her for free sex. Most likely he won't marry her. Most guys are like that. How many guys date women with no plans to marry them. I'll answer that one for ya: Many!

  20. #14
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,430
    Thanks
    19,846
    Thanked 18,507 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    Um... isn't it obvious? He is with her for free sex. Most likely he won't marry her. Most guys are like that. How many guys date women with no plans to marry them. I'll answer that one for ya: Many!
    Yes, exactly. My point was that it's "off" and gives me a bad vibe about the dude.

    I was also going to say that he may not even marry her if she did quit, and is probably just saying it as a ploy to get her to quit, but then will put off getting married. Maybe he'll even use the excuse that he's "still not over it" and doesn't know if he can "trust" her yet due to her escort past? Hmm... I just think this guy is shady.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  21. The Following User Says Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  22. #15
    Featured Member strippername's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,459
    Thanks
    668
    Thanked 1,079 Times in 492 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelyme View Post
    Um... isn't it obvious? He is with her for free sex. Most likely he won't marry her. Most guys are like that. How many guys date women with no plans to marry them. I'll answer that one for ya: Many!
    On a personal note, please remember this! xoxo

  23. #16
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 34 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: Getting married as an escort

    There's definitely something odd about someone dating someone they're clear doesn't fit within their values. That can mean denial, inner conflict, a desire for that one thing to change so that the other can be someone they accept.

    It sounds like the OP recognizes this.

    These questions have been helpful:

    How do you, and also your partner, feel about people who do this work - ethically, morally, intellectually?

    How do you, and also your partner, feel about the work itself? Is it a last resort? Is it a sacred calling? Is it just another job?

    What are your and your partner's desires around sex outside your relationship? Is work sex different than your relationship agreements around personal sex? It's very common for sex workers to desire monogamy outside of work sex, but for partners not to understand how work sex is different.

    How do you see your life evolving? Do you plan to stay in this work a predetermined number of years, until you reach a specific goal, until you switch careers, until you retire? If you're leaving the business for you, because it's in line with your desires and goals, fantastic. If it's because someone else wants you to leave... it may never sit right with you.

    What you're looking for is shared values, a realistic view of the industry with no deep-seated negative ideas, honesty, and a willingness to honestly face fears or negative thoughts/feelings they do have. If your partner thinks less of people who do this work - don't date them. It will hurt you and it will hurt your self-image. If you think less of people who do this work, and nothing's changed that for you - transition out as soon as you can.

    A lot of people (especially men) can and do date sex workers while in various phases of denial.

    On the one hand, it's harder to date in this line of work because our job brings up a lot of crap very quickly. On the other hand, it's easier to date in this line of work because our job makes a lot of crap visible early on in the dating process: a smaller pool with better quality fish.

  24. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SabrinaMorgan For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 07-08-2013, 04:53 AM
  2. Escort Referral vs Escort Agency
    By SexxySadie in forum Other Work
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 04-11-2011, 11:23 PM
  3. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09-05-2010, 05:45 PM
  4. differences between solo escort and agency escort?
    By RebeccaSolidarity in forum Other Work
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-28-2008, 04:38 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •