Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 40

Thread: How to handle this guy at my gym

  1. #1
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default How to handle this guy at my gym

    At the gym I go to, there is this guy that works there that is always making eye contact with me, smiling, etc....


    Well, when I first started working out there, I thought he was this another guy that recognized me from the gym that I saw out at a club, they kind of look alike. So I was always smiling back, being friendly, etc. ONLY because I thought he was the other guy. One day I realized that these are two different guys, so as I walked by the gym manager and he smiled at me, I was like, "Excuse me, this whole time I thought you were this other guy, that's why I've been smiling at you across the gym and waving hi. I wasn't hitting on you, Just wanted to let you know" I didn't say it in a bitchy way or anything, and the guy just kind of laughed.

    Well, a week or so later, he helped me with a machine, and we started talking, a few days later he helped me with some dead lifts, then he was like, "When you first signed up for a membership here, all the girls told me about this new girl (you) that I was really going to like." I was like ok, what does that mean? You have a thing for short brunettes? He just kind of laughed and we dropped it, Anyways, fast forward three more weeks. This guy always comes up and says hi to me, usually interrupting me on the treadmill or something and making small talk. One day, I was talking to another trainer, and he came up and was standing there listening. Then he said something like, "Do you have a hot date tonight?" Because I was wearing a cute outfit leaving the gym. I said, "No, no date, I wish..." and the subject was changed.

    Anyways, I guess what I'm wondering is, how do I construe all of this? Is this guy just being friendly or too shy to fully make a move on me? I honestly cannot tell. And I don't want to make a move on him (normally I would) because what if he was just being friendly, and now I feel like a jack ass and have to see him everyday at the gym..... He's totally not my type, way older and way too swoll, but I do think it's really cute how he seems to get nervous around me and I can feel him staring at my across the gym, then he always notices little changes, like my nail polish or hair, and comments on them.

    What should I do? I do kind of want to jump this guy now..... only because it turns me that I intimidate him that much..... is that weird? What can I do or say to put him on the spot and find out if he does want to ask me out/like me, but in an indirect way? Help please, I need guys and girls advice....
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  2. #2
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Hurry I want to go to the gym today! I need some advice!
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  3. #3
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    464
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked 923 Times in 249 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    It sounds like he's into you. And afraid to make a move.
    But since you said "hurry" i cant think of a good clever thing to say!! I'm gonna rack my brain and come up with something.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to ChefKitty For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    464
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked 923 Times in 249 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    I'd say something along the lines of "I've noticed you have really great/toned/defined/ripped arms/calves/GLUTES/abs/pecs/traps etc. I have been trying to work on mine, can you show me what you do?
    HUGE ego boost and he'll jump at the chance to show off for you.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to ChefKitty For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    I did this already!!! I didn't stroke his ego *that* much, but I definitely already pulled this stunt.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  8. #6
    Senior Member Well's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    131
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 30 Times in 24 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Ask him out for coffee, just say you need his advice on something.
    Evil is always devising more corrosive misery through man's restless need to exact revenge out of his hate. Ralph Steadman

  9. #7
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    837
    Thanks
    104
    Thanked 791 Times in 316 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    You could ask him to spot you while you do squats and insist that he spots you the proper way. Years ago a chick did that to a friend of mine at the gym, she asked him to spot her then when he did it wrong she demonstrated the proper technique on him. They hooked up a few times after that, so it at least worked for her.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC64aQ7ptFU

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to safado For This Useful Post:


  11. #8
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    1,529
    Thanks
    2,260
    Thanked 2,276 Times in 730 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Dude no one would turn you down. WTF kinda question is this.

  12. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to lokikola For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    God/dess MargaritaVillain's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    7,464
    Thanks
    6,056
    Thanked 11,733 Times in 4,862 Posts
    Blog Entries
    29

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    JD... it sure sounds to me like he's attracted to you.
    If he wasn't, he would have dropped the overly-friendly routine after you verbally clarified that you were initially mistaking him for another guy. He wouldn't be walking up to you repeatedly and wouldn't have asked if you had a hot date. Also, he likely wouldn't have told you that the female employees said you were his type. It sounds as if he's a bit shy/intimidated... probably wants to see if you are reciprocating any interest before he puts himself on the line and actually asks you out.
    When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... then find someone whose life gave them vodka, and have a party.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to MargaritaVillain For This Useful Post:


  15. #10
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    That day he asked me if I have hot date while I was talking to another trainer, he then said "We should go get coffee..." but then kind of laughed it off and walked away, like when he said it was very half assed, so I don't know what to take from that.....

    Also, when he helped me with the dead lifts, he was checking me out the whole time. I told him I want to shrink my thighs, and he was checking me out and said "why would you want to do that?!??" and I noticed he grabbed his crotch. LOL. You can take the girl out of the strip club, but you can't take the stripper out of the girl.....
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to J.D. For This Useful Post:


  17. #11
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    I always look back at relationships and guys I dated, and I always wish I could go back to the first time we met, and just do something really ballsy/confident/outrageous..... so this is my chance now. I want to do something like that, I like the squat spotting trick, but should I push my ass into his crotch while squatting, and look at him and smile? I don't know, give me some ideas!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to J.D. For This Useful Post:


  19. #12
    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    japan
    Posts
    3,724
    Thanks
    315
    Thanked 1,186 Times in 703 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Just ask him out. It really sounds like he's interested to me. Be like NIKE-Just do it!
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


  20. #13
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    ^^^^ The only thing is that I think he might say no because I am a member who is at that gym literally at least 6 days a week, they all know me, and there are no other branches. What if he was just being friendly, and he has a girlfriend or something? I mean, he is the manager, I'm sure he's friendly and kisses ass to a lot of members. Then I would just feel like a jack ass and wouldn't be able to look at him if he turned me down.
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  21. #14
    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    aqui
    Posts
    3,622
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked 2,433 Times in 978 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    That's why I'm saying I need some sort of plan, or sneaky tricks to put him on the spot and figure out what this penis is really about......
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

  22. #15
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    3,026
    Thanked 3,426 Times in 1,229 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    This is pretty much not ballsy at all, but if you decide you just want to ask, you could play it off as still being new-ish in the area and not knowing a great insert-type-of-food-here restaurant and you just so happen to have a craving. Example: "Hey, I've been meaning to ask someone, do you know any great sushi places nearby? I've seen a few in the area but I never can decide which one I should try..." Hopefully, he would come up with something and offer to take you, but if he still didn't take the hint you could try an "Oh, great! Would you like to come along with me sometime this week?" You couldn't make it any easier for him than that, but it's still casual enough so that it won't necessarily be horribly awkward if he declines... which I still think is unlikely. Even if he has a girlfriend and has to say no, it seems obvious that he'd like to say yes, so I imagine he'd regret it more than you. Maybe being a manager makes him even more hesitant to ask you out in case he comes off as a creep or offends someone.

  23. #16
    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    japan
    Posts
    3,724
    Thanks
    315
    Thanked 1,186 Times in 703 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Tuesday's idea is a good one.

    You could also be like "I'd love to hear more about your take on fitness and nutrition. I know of a great cafe....." and take it from there. This way is a bit more forward though.

    Or be like, "you're here so often. when do you ever get to see you're girlfriend?" hahaha.

    BTW, these are slightly altered lines that PUAs have tried to use on me in the SC. lmao smh
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


  24. #17
    Senior Member Well's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    131
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 30 Times in 24 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    That's why I'm saying I need some sort of plan, or sneaky tricks to put him on the spot and figure out what this penis is really about......

    Sounds like he doesn't have the balls to ask you out. You can give him all the hints you want but I don't think he'll change. I have been in his situation when I was younger. He just need to grow a pair. You the one have to the asking if you really want to go out with him.
    Maybe you can ask if he has facebook and you can ask him there? lol
    Evil is always devising more corrosive misery through man's restless need to exact revenge out of his hate. Ralph Steadman

  25. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    464
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked 923 Times in 249 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    If you're looking at him as a potential anything-more-than-friends, maybe consider switching gyms.. and see if he wants to keep in contact. Which would have him in the position to hit you up away from his place of work. Change things up from him flirting with a regular (you), to making an actual connection.

  26. #19
    God/dess MargaritaVillain's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    7,464
    Thanks
    6,056
    Thanked 11,733 Times in 4,862 Posts
    Blog Entries
    29

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Ask one (or more) of the female gym employees if the guy is single. If they tell him you asked, all the better... then he knows you are interested.

    Btw... just food-for-thought from my gym-dating situation. I dated a trainer at my gym a few years ago. Our relationship was only physical as we had almost nothing in common (and I'm older than her). We eventually fizzled-out and although we were on friendly terms, it was still a bit awkward seeing her four times a week. After a month, I finally just switched gyms. Hope your situation works out better!
    When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... then find someone whose life gave them vodka, and have a party.

  27. #20
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    He likes you, but he's scared of you. I think this is an appropriate combination of feelings, knowing you.

    I usually end up saying something like "So are you actually going to ask me out soon? Because as cute as I think this and you are, I'd really like to move forward."

    I'm kind of a dick though.

    If he says he has GF or some other excuse, you can always say something along the lines of "Ohhh... so this is what your version of "friendly" is? I'd hate to see what interested is."

  28. #21
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    3,244
    Thanks
    2,454
    Thanked 4,800 Times in 1,707 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Actually he did ask you out with the "coffee" bit but he was afraid of rejection and decided to laugh it off and get the fuck out of dodge. I would just say: "were you serious about coffee?....because I could go for a cup after this set". Just bring it back to what he said and don't do anything more. If he fucks that up then he's not even worth the hassle.

  29. The Following User Says Thank You to cherryblossomsinspring For This Useful Post:


  30. #22
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Nudie-Land
    Posts
    7,219
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4,151 Times in 1,462 Posts
    My Mood
    Sneaky

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    Hurry I want to go to the gym today! I need some advice!
    Pressure much? LOL. Ask him to do push-ups with you laying on his back.

    Or just say... "ugh... i need an iced coffe..... care to tag along?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

  31. #23
    Banned
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vegas, Baby!
    Posts
    2,136
    Thanks
    2,464
    Thanked 1,174 Times in 619 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Well before getting into how to go about it, let's first address the fact taht you have stated that he's not your type, etc. Are you interested in going out with him, or just in clarifying the situation?

    If you ARE interested, be aware that the more forward/aggressive you are, the harder it will be to gracefully back down from that image later on. I.e., you do something very forward and ballsy to get a date with him, it goes okay but maybe you don't want to sleep with him - but because of your direct display of interest, he now has expectations. Note - this doesn't HAVE to apply to things sexual, that's just an obvious case for the issue. Even if it's just a matter of dating a few times - if you get very aggressive, it WILL be interpreted as strong interest, and if on a date you dicide you're not felling it, it could be awkward to backtrack.

    Anyway - I can give you lots of examples of women being openly aggressive or clever in showing interest with me; I'll also say that while different guys are different and not all feel the same way, I personally LOVE IT when a girl is forward. HUGE turn on, and MOST of the guys I know feel the same way.

    - Had a girl at a night club sit and chat with me until her freind dragged her off. She ran back with a scrap of paper with her number on it and the words "USE IT!!" written under it and underlined. And boy did I, lol!

    - First time I ever met MM was at her work - ITC - I bought a VIP. She was dancing for me and straight up said "My real name is ___ and I'm going to give you my real phone number". I actually freaked and said "Sweety, how long have you been dancing?! You don't do that!" Her reply - "No, I don't do that. Unless I want the guy to call." With that approach and a lot of patient understanding, she won out over a woman I'd been with for 4 years and had no intention of leaving!

    - This one was me, but would seem to apply - first time I met the girl who would become gf2, she was kind of awkward at first, until I showed some interest. She was acting weird and I didn't know how to read it, so I just said "I think I'm getting the vibe that you're into me, but I don't want to be wrong and make things weird. So just so I know how to act from here out, are you interested in this going somewhere other than friends?" SHe blushed and replied "I'm off at 12." LOL! We went out that night, and at the end of the date I was kind of awkward about where things were headed. She finally just said "Before dinner was over I knew I wanted to fuck you. I really thought I was going to get laid tonight, so if you're not taking me somewhere to fuck could you please take me home?" I knew there was a reason I fell for her, lol...

    - Lots of similar stories to that one above. Just come out and say that you're confused about his intentions and that if he IS interested he should have asked you out days ago and you're tired of waiting. It's an ego boost and a mild insult to his masculine security in one, guaranteed to shock a guy into action. Do it.

  32. #24
    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Posts
    675
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked 447 Times in 229 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    He likes you, but he's scared of you. I think this is an appropriate combination of feelings, knowing you.

    I usually end up saying something like "So are you actually going to ask me out soon? Because as cute as I think this and you are, I'd really like to move forward."

    I'm kind of a dick though.

    If he says he has GF or some other excuse, you can always say something along the lines of "Ohhh... so this is what your version of "friendly" is? I'd hate to see what interested is."
    I think that he is interested but do you really want a guy where you will be doubting if he is shy or uninterested? Like say you finally get him out to coffee, you will have to make the first move sexually.

    Regardless, I like mediocrity's advice, just go ahead and ask him out and if he has a girlfriend or something just turn it around so he looks like the jackass not you.

  33. The Following User Says Thank You to Kat w For This Useful Post:


  34. #25
    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Atl
    Posts
    3,429
    Thanks
    4,881
    Thanked 2,349 Times in 1,220 Posts

    Default Re: How to handle this guy at my gym

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D. View Post
    I always look back at relationships and guys I dated, and I always wish I could go back to the first time we met, and just do something really ballsy/confident/outrageous..... so this is my chance now. I want to do something like that, I like the squat spotting trick, but should I push my ass into his crotch while squatting, and look at him and smile? I don't know, give me some ideas!!!

    I like this plan, the dude should have the balls to ask out a beautiful woman that he already is talking with, just saying. He's into you, he's just weighing the down side of seeing a woman 6 days a week that may reject him.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 18
    Last Post: 10-23-2012, 06:04 PM
  2. How should I handle this guy?-Updated
    By HighHeelHottie in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 12-20-2011, 09:11 PM
  3. Guy at the gym counter making fun of my last name
    By greenidlady1 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 03-02-2008, 04:49 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •